u/s scan (m/c mentioned)

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u/s scan (m/c mentioned)

I have come to this board looking for some support. I went in for a u/s today and found out my baby had died around 7 weeks. I have to go in on Fri for a d & c. Right now its so painful and im hoping someone can tell me it gets easier.

Anngie60's picture
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Hi there. Im so very sorry you had to come here. The same happened to me, i went for my 10-11 week scan to be told my baby had died at 8.5weeks. I was completely numb with shock so i know how you are feeling. Its been 3 weeks today since i found out. It'm still incredibly upset and it is still early days, i think it has got easier to deal with although i dont find myself any less upset than i was, i dont think anyone does. I dont think you ever get over a m/c, i think you just learn to deal with these emotions as time goes on. And there is nothing wrong with that - you will feel so many different emotions it can be so overwhelming. You have certainly come to the right place for support. As for the d+c, i had mine 2 weeks ago and physically it was not as bad as i had anticipated, period type crampy for a couple of days with heavy bleeding, then on off light bleeding since. I think it is more emotionally challenging than physically. Feel free if you need to pm me, any time. (((HUGS)))

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Hello
I went through almost the exact same situation as you and anngie60. It has been almost 3 months since my loss, and I can say that it definitely gets easier, but I still have my moments. I still think about how far along I would be, and all the milestones I am missing. I tried to really keep all my emotions bottled up, but once I let down my guard and let myself cry, I felt so much better. I am so sorry for you loss!

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Thank you so much for your support and kind words, its just such a shock. In a way its reassuring to know im not alone in this. Although I wish this sort of thing never happened to anyone. I really feel like people play down a m/c. I have had a few texts of, im sorry, you can have fun trying again etc. It makes me so upset, there will be no fun trying again, just constant worry and heartache. Plus im not thinking of trying again, im thinking of the baby I have lost thats still inside me.

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I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.
take care
-Lisa

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I have had 2 m/c, both with a D&C, so i know how you feel. It does get easier but the emotional scars have never gone away for me. I always think of what would have been. At Christmas I bought an angel ornament and had the two dates put on her wings-do something special so that you will have something you can hold on to physically-I will be thinking of you in the days to come, as they will be the hardest. the ladies on this board are great and hopefully you have support at home as well. Just let your emotions out and don't be afraid to let the tears flow!

Nicole

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"kt1981" wrote:

I really feel like people play down a m/c. I have had a few texts of, im sorry, you can have fun trying again etc. It makes me so upset, there will be no fun trying again, just constant worry and heartache.

I completely aggree with you on this. I returned to work on Monday and although people were sympathetic for a couple of days, it seemed like they have forgotten now and are talking to me about things i dont want to hear (as in baby ment). I am very grateful to for having this board.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

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So sorry. The same thing happened to me a month ago, except I waited to miscarry naturally.

I does get easier. For me, the hardest part was mentally re-planning my life now that there will be no baby this summer. (ie. my work plans, summer plans, plans for DD, etc) Once I changed my expectations, things got a lot easier.

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I am so sorry for your loss. It does get easier with time but unfortunately it does take time.
I am also sorry you have had a few insensitive comments. Unfortunately we have all heard them. I know people are trying trying to be supportive but they just don't get it. People don't seem to fully comprehend how attached we are to our babies. We are in love with them from the moment we are starting to ttc. These children were loved and wanted.

I didn't have a D&C but there are lots of fantastic ladies on this board who did and can help you along the way.

Some questions that you might want to ask the doctor are how long will you bleed. When will you get AF back? Those questions seem to be quite common on the board.

We are here for you.
Antionette

Lily Maria Kathleen :angel1: August 10, 2007

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People not understanding because they have not suffered the loss of a baby...All of us having to deal with the *well meaning* comments/support, that usually ends up to be even more of a burden for us to carry.... Sad I am so sorry that you are dealing with this as well..I am so sorry for your loss..

The ladies on this board are wonderfully supportive. You will find much comfort/peace by posting daily on this board....You will have many ups and downs as the days/weeks go by....But I promise, in time...your world will not seem as dark as it does right now..

For now, just take one day at a time....Any questions you have regarding the D&C, please ask. Hopefully we will all be able to help in calming your fears about the procedure, if you have any..

Marie

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First, let me just say I am so sorry for your loss. I found out my pregnancy was no longer progressing the day before Thanksgiving and then had a D&C the following week. Things will get easier, but I also just wanted to say that it is okay to let yourself be sad. Before I found out I'd need the D&C, someone told me that she cried every day after her miscarriage until her AF. At first I thought, "that won't be me." But, I must say, after my D&C I found myself extremely emotional and I cried for days. And I needed to do that.

Also, my husband and I had a little memorial for our baby -- just the two of us. We read a blessing for the life that had left us and fed some birds in a local park. We also pressed and driend some flowers that we are in the process of framing to commemorate the loss. And, I must say, as sad as the memorial was for us, it was enormously helpful. It made me feel like it was okay to look forward because we weren't forgetting about the baby we lost. We would always have her with us and the memorial said to both of us, "this happened and it mattered."

I wish you peace in the coming days, and know you are not alone. I think it's very common to feel very isolated, and this board is an unbelievable source of comfort.

K.

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Sweetie, it does eventually get a little easier. You will in time learn to adapt to this new life. The emotions will come flooding and then back off. You will survive. I am so very sorry for your loss. Please come here whenever you may need.

Shelly