hi ladies, i don't post on this board but i need some advice on a situation i have had a hard time approaching since jan. i know my coming to you might offend some of you, but i'm just wondering if you have any advice for me and i'm sorry if anything i say offends or hurts any of you, not my goal at all.
my background: 3 years ago i miscarried at 7 weeks. i found out i was pg on mother's day and had my m/c on memorial day. i dealt with the loss very well for the most part, but it still stuck with me and affected a lot of my decisions. right now i'm 26 wks pg. we weren't trying, i was on bc and it was a total shock. the father wanted an abortion but due to my previous loss, it wasn't an option at all.
i work with a woman who has a daughter who is 3 years younger than i am. her daughter found out she was pg in november. she was due in june. she miscarried at the end of january. the exact weekend i found out i was pg. the mom and i have been friends and got along very well for about 5 years now. all three of us rode together to work every day. well, after the m/c the daughter stopped coming to work and is having a very hard time dealing with it, especially now that it is june.
i've tried to be as sensitive as possible whenever i have seen either of them. the mom acts happy for my pregnancy but hurt for her daughter at the same time. i want to help the daughter because i went through the exact situation at the exact age (we were both the same age, single, had fathers of the baby with no interest in being there, etc). but i know my being around hurts her so i just stay away. is there anything i can do other than staying away??? when i talk to her mom i ask about her to make sure she's ok but she doesn't share much. i'm at a loss of what to do regarding both of them as i know they are both hurt. i really value my friendship with the mother but feel like i'm hurting her too with my current pg.
ok, sorry that was so long. i hope i didn't come across selfish, i'm just not sure what to do. was hoping you would have some advice considering you've been there too.