Update to my earlier thread

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Update to my earlier thread

For New Years My husband and I decided to go to Seattle. We went to the Needle and that was alot of fun on the way back on the ferry my husband and I had a discussion on the whole situation with her and the trying to buy everything for 50.00. My husband said the price was outrageous. I had to tell him that I have helped her countless times buy diapers & a carseat for her son, given her money for groceries. My husband and I have given her countless times money for gas and once money for a used dryer which she promptly spent on other stuff. My major concerns when the twins are born exactly how much mores she is going to ask me or my spouse for more money or something from my personal stash that I am going to need when we TTC again when he returns in May and we get Pregnant again for the third or fourth time.

Also this particular "friend" has the tendency to open her legs to anyone and gets pregnant and when she feels the love is not as hot or the spouse gets out the military she leaves the guy and cons some other military guy into marrying her.

This particular "friend" has 8 kids + two more on the way so think she can afford everything on her husbands E-3 pay which is 3 ranks below my spouse thinks we are her bank. The other thing that really irritates me or more like enrages me I have been in her car a few times and her 12 year old dd takes the 1 year ds out of his carseat while the car in his drive and hold hims in her lap ehile he bangs on the window and even on base. I had to yell at the dd and this "friend" was like she is allowed too I feel that carseats are blah blah blah. I told her to stop at the car at the light and let me out and I was taking the bus home. Now I have a question the next time if I am with her and her DD does this again should I call CPS on her?

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

Personally, unless completely avoidable, I think that there shouldn't be a next time that you are with her in the car. That is just my opinion. However, if the situation arises again, yes without a doubt report her. That is a safety issue for that young child.

Shelly

Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

What she is allowing in her car is illegal. I hope that you are going to make the decision to severe your ties with her as much as possible given you live near each other. It will be hard because I guarantee she will come crawling to you for a hand out sooner or later. Perhaps when she does that you can be prepared with some service centre numbers. I am sure with that many children she can qualify for food bank or some kind of financial assistance.

I hope you are doing okay.
Antionette

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

"shellyhudson" wrote:

Personally, unless completely avoidable, I think that there shouldn't be a next time that you are with her in the car. That is just my opinion. However, if the situation arises again, yes without a doubt report her. That is a safety issue for that young child.

Shelly

I totally agree.

Janel

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I am so sorry you are still having problems with this so called friend. There is no doubt (in my objective mind) that you should seriously reassess your friendship with her. Friendship should be about give and take and you wanting to be with your friend because they make you laugh or you have a good time generally when you are with them. If she is always on the "take" and doesnt make you feel good, then in my mind she isn't a friend worth having.

As for reporting her to the CPS. I don't know exactly what warrents someone to be reported. Fortunately i have never been in a position where i have had to consider taking that course of action. Of course, it cannot be stressed enough that if you report anyone it has to be for sound reasons. Being reported wrongly can cause a lot of stress and suffering to a family, so it isn't something that should be taken lightly at all. That being said, if the children are in clear danger and suffering from abuse in the form of neglect, whether to their safety, or otherwise, it might be wise to seek advice at least from the correct authorities. I am sure that once you explain exactly what you have seen in an honest manner they will be able to advise you on whether they can or should intervene.

Urgh! It just sucks that you have to be in this position at all. Watching someone seemingly undeserving of children have them and then proceed to treat them badly or take them for granted, when you so desperately want a family of your own is so incredibly painful. I know. :cry:

Sarah
Mum to...
:angel2: Zane. Delivered by c-section at 41 weeks. Died due to Vasa Praevia. 16-17 October 2006
:angel2: Ada. Delivered by c-section at 25 weeks. Her heart just stopped. No explanation. 7 September 2007
Co-Host of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support.