Update on my friend...(child death mentioned, poss TMI 4 some)

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zobi's picture
Joined: 12/24/07
Posts: 607
Update on my friend...(child death mentioned, poss TMI 4 some)

Be warned, this could be to much information for some, but I really want to share, I feel it is helping me with my grievence...I hope I dont offend anyone...Sorry if I do...

Yesterday baby came back from postmortem....

Now I must explain Maori culture as it is much different to most...
They have a long morning for a loved one who has passed...sometimes can be up to a week...

Baby came home, it is called a "welcoming". A Karakea (maori song/prayer) is sung by an elder, as she is brought into the house by parents (yes dad was there too, which was lovely) she is placed on a woven mat between mattresses on the floor...this is wear she will stay until the funeral on Sat...Mum will sleep next to her till then, and anyone else that wishes too...
There wasnt a dry eye in the room, as they had a small service and prayer, and a few more songs...They had a couple of people from the church come and do a spiritual prayer too...
It was sooo sad, yet it was lovely...Te Aroha was a beautiful sleeping angel...Looked just like a china doll...

I spent about an hour with my friend after the formal part was all over...She is doing well, well as well as one could be doing at such a time...Im sure there will be many more tears shed over the next few days/weeks/months/years, but with the support of some family and her friends (her immediate family have had no contact) Im sure she will be just fine...Shes a very strong 18 yr old girl...Im very proud of her...

Im so glad I went to the welcoming as I will be unable to make it to the funeral as we will be out of town for easter...
Im going to go see her again today....

Thanks for listening to me blab on, but just writing this all down is making me feel much better inside...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

That sounds beautiful. Sending hugs.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend as you both struggle through this time

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Thank you for sharing with us. What a beautiful culture that recongnizes the need to grieve and to have your loved one close to you for just a little longer. I am glad you were able to go.

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