update and questions...

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Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000
update and questions...

mom@41 asked for an update in another post, so I thought I'd give one. I have one medical update, but I will wait till the end of this post, since it's kinda sensitive, and I don't want to upset anyone.

Emotionally, I'm doing okay (as in "normal" not "well"). DH and I are starting down a long path of grief and healing. We are trying to figure out what to do for a memorial service. We worship at a lay benedictine community, and we are hoping to have a small ceremony in their gardens. We don't know exactly what to do or how to do it. I would appreciate any suggestions.

From a practical standpoint, I'm not sure how long I need to rest. I m/c on Monday and have been resting since then. But we went for a small walk yesterday, and it felt so good to get out of the house and get a little exercise. Anyone have any suggestions on that? Is it too soon? I'd love to go back to work for a bit just to get out of the house. (My work is not physically demanding.)

***WARNING: sensitive info to follow re: the m/c***

I thought I was done with the m/c on Monday after I had bled and passed clots for 4 hours. The bleeding and cramping subsided. But on Tuesday afternoon I started cramping really bad again and passed a large object. I didn't know what it was (the m/w had said the embryonic sac should have been "the size of a kidney bean"), so I called the m/w. It was the placenta. We didn't know what to do with it, so we kept it. We may bury it in the garden when we do our memorial service. I'm not sure. It might feel kinda weird :confused: Anyone else keep part of their m/c and do something with it?

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I dont know your exact circumstances chick, but thank you for updating. As far as resting is concerned i dont think that there is a set time limit on that. Trust your own body and listen to what it's telling you. If you feel like going for a walk do it, but make sure you dont do too much that's all. Excersise is good for releasing the bodys natural defenses against depression, so it would be good for your soul. Smile

The memorial service sounds lovely and so does the idea of a burial for your m/c. I know that some of the ladies on here have done something similar with their baby when they have been able to keep it. You could have a burial in the garden, or in a houseplant if you would prefer. I have heard of both.


Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I think light walking is a good idea....And work, if it is not strenuous, should be fine as well....Just double check with your doctor..

I think having a memorial service is a wonderful idea....I found this link...It is not from my denomination, and probably not from yours....That said, maybe you could use the information as an guideline...insert your own beliefs?? ..


My dh and I had our own services....as family did not know about any of my losses till 3 wks ago....

I buried my babies in flower pots (the ones I could) so I could take them with me wherever I went...



Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

hugs hon. I agree with the others, take it easy, but it is good to get moving. I can definitely second Sarah that it helped with depression for me. I layed around for a week waiting for things to happen, and just too depressed to do anything. Once I started moving, I have felt better (Not great, but definitely better). I think the memorial sounds beautiful! Let us know how it goes.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

Thanks for the suggestions. I will post when we have our memorial.

I would never have thought of using a house plant. I like the idea of taking it with you when you move (DH is soon to be an Air Force chaplain.), but DH and I have a notoriously brown thumb. I'd be too afraid to kill the plant.