Visiting the Cemetery

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TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
Joined: 12/26/05
Posts: 1147
Visiting the Cemetery

What kinds of things do you guys leave at your LO's grave? (or if you had a m/c or went the cremation option) I haven't been to DH's grave yet this weekend and I am sort of feeling bad because of it. I have no idea what to leave. How do you plan on memorializing your baby today?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I wasn't far enough along to have to purchase a grave for my LO, but I DO work at a cemetery and we see all sorts of personal tributes. I've seen stuffed animals, those little pinwheel things...etc. Do what feels the most personal to you. That said (and I hope this doesn't come off as callous) make sure you know what the guidelines are at the cemetery as far as decorations go. It breaks my heart to see families put something that has great financial or sentimental meaning and have it thrown away by our staff b/c it wasn't allowed.
take care of you.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think it's natural and normal to feel badly, as you mentioned, but please don't be hard on yourself. You've been coping with so much since your loss, and if you 'beat yourself up' -- it only serves to make you feel worse. Easier said than done, I know -- but please be gentle on yourself.

In answer to your question, I personally think that anything you feel is a sentimental reflection of your love would be appropriate. Just as long as it's not valuable to anyone else (it's simply horrible that some people steal things from sacred places). So I wouldn't recommend leaving jewellery, or anything irreplaceable.

Maybe a framed family photo? Just a thought.

Big bear hugs,

HopefullySoon's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 163

I just bring up flowers. I like lots of flowers there. my mom planted flowers all over Zara and my brother's graves. She has made it look nice. There are a few rose bushes too.

SAHM2AZL&K's picture
Joined: 06/08/05
Posts: 32

pinwheels are my favorite for my angel DD

clay yard angels
little yard decorations like
little wind chimes
suns with a bell in the middle
They make cute ladybugs, butterflus, angels on sticks for the yard
fake flowers last alot longer and look nice for a longer
wood flowers..

I get mine at craft fairs or spring time at craft stores
Spring/Summer is the best time to find this stuff :bighug: HTH