We named her star

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flutterby4's picture
Joined: 09/04/07
Posts: 219
We named her star

Well we named the star for our baby last night when it was just the two of us. We named it 'Kaylie's Star' because we were hoping for a girl and that was to be her name. Chris wanted her named after me, and my middle name is Kay. We decided to have the star in the 'Phoenix' constellation for I don't know, symbolic reasons I guess. We can't see that one from here, but talked about how we can look for it when we go on nice warm sandy vacations and remember. We printed out the little certificate with the coordinates and all so we'll always know where her star is and I put it in her memory box. We named the little stuffed animal that comes with it 'Raine' because that was to be her middle name and gave it the personality traits that we liked in each other and hoped we would pass on. Raine now has her place on an antique table my grandmother gave me. It was one of the first pieces of furniture my grandparents bought together. I held myself together pretty well until we had to pick the traits. Then I cried for awhile, but the whole experience in itself was good for me. I got to feel like we celebrated Kaylie on Christmas. And the two of us deciding on a name was something that I hadn't realized I needed so badly. It's strange how we had pretty much agreed on a name, but once she was gone, neither of us talked about it again. Her existence feels so much more solid by her 'officially' having a name.

The Shiny Star site is a cute little website. It's geared more towards children and collecting these animals, but it was a good thing for us. They keep it cartoony and a little silly, but that was good for our purposes really. It kept it more light-hearted than sad. I'm so glad that we did it. The date you name the star is the star's 'birthdate', but you also get to pick a special dedication date and we decided on my due date 4-07-08 for the dedication. I loved that we got to add what was supposed to be her birthday too.

If a friend hadn't given us this Shiny Star for Christmas, I probably never would have thought of it or even named her. Naming our baby was huge for me. I guess before I thought that not knowing for sure if she was a she or not and only being 10 weeks, naming didn't seem like much of an option, but I was so very wrong. No matter the age of your child, find a name that feels right to you. It gives me a whole new feeling to think of Kaylie instead of 'the baby'.

I pray that 2008 brings more happiness to this board than we know what to do with. Thank you all for being here for me and each other.

:bighug::bighug: to all

Proud mommy of an angel,
Amy

troynicole's picture
Joined: 12/06/07
Posts: 151

That is really sweet! I love the name. I'm glad you found a way to find a bit of peace during this hard time. Smile
Nicole

Jessa_2213's picture
Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 129

That is so wonderful. I'm so glad that you took the time to name her... it really does help, it gives them a sense of belonging and an identity, so that they will never be forgotten.
I named both my angels because it helped me so much, even though they were only 12 & 9 weeks so we didn't really know the sex yet... we just went by what we felt they would be.
I'm so glad that you had the opportunity to name a star after her, so that you will always have a little memorial in the sky. It sounds like you and DH are very close... you are wonderful and loving parents. Its great that you guys could spend such a special time together and get through what could have been a very hard day.

:bighug:

~Jessa~
Mommy of 2 angels

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

That is beautiful. I am glad it was a pleasant experience, what a great way to remember your baby.

Robin

Joined: 02/05/06
Posts: 33

I am so glad that you found something healing to do. That is a great idea. Sending hugs your way.

Erin
mommy to angels, Quinn Thomas 2-26-01, and Elliot Matthew 5-5-05

Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

What a beautiful name. I'm glad you were able to name your angel.

Antionette

flutterby4's picture
Joined: 09/04/07
Posts: 219

Ok, now I did lose it. I sent an e-mail pretty much saying exactly what I did here about the star. Chris' sister sent me a response that said how much she loved the idea and the name...and the last thing she put was...'wow, now all of us can look out at the stars and see her'. I've been crying so hard since I read that, my head hurts, my eyes are swollen, Chris just keeps hugging me...I have gotten so used to everyone acting like this never happened, like she didn't exist, I was so caught off guard. I keep talking about Kaylie, but no-one answers. It's just that I refuse to let her be forgotten, I don't push, but send blood test updates and things like the star. There has not been one single person, friend or family, that has ever said anything about our baby, a few people gave hugs, or said sorry for your loss...but Kaylie, our baby, has never been mentioned by any of them (obviously this board is not included here :). I'm just so grateful to my SIL right now, isn't that silly. Why do we or did I need that from anyone, she was here with us to me and Chris? I shouldn't care either way, it shouldn't matter...but it did.

Thanks again for listening

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

That is such a beautiful name. I am happy to hear that it was a soothing moment for you as well. You deserve much love and happiness. I hope that we all get the happiness that we deserve, not just in the new year but forever forward.

Shelly