Well, Its official (long)

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Michelleey's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 06/05/06
Posts: 113
Well, Its official (long)

i went for my u/s on Tuesday and not only did the embryo not grow anymore, my body had actually absorbed most of it. All she saw was the sac and placenta. So she gave me the drugs which i took when i got home. I had no idea what i was to expect, so i put the drugs in and laid down. It only took 30 minutes to start working, and the pain....OMG the pain. I was under the impression that the pain would just be a little worse than AF cramps. Well i was wrong. I was screaming and moaning and throwing up. In all in lasted about 4 hours with the horrible pain. Now for the past day and a bid it has just been mild cramping. I haven't been too concerned about the bleeding, i think it is normal what i am having, but i have to say, and i'm very sorry if this is too graphic, but the most traumatic part is when the sac fell out, i knew exactly what it was when it came out and had to look at it in the toilet. After that i new everything was over and i wasn't pregnant anymore, and that is the part that i can't seem to get out of my head. Now all i wish is that my body gets back as fast as possible.

On another note, i have to say that i have been very disappointed in my family through this whole thing. I know that none of them have ever gone through this, but come on.....there is a certain amount of compassion that is just human nature. For instance, i took the drugs on Tuesday when i came home from the doctor, and by wednesday morning i was in no shape to go to work, well my sister calls me at home and say "oh, i see you didn't go to work today" and i was like "yeah, i stayed home, you do know that i had a miscarriage yesterday that is pretty much continuing today" and she was like "oh, i thought it would be done by now".....WHAT THE HELL....like i am supposed to just pick myself up and go to work when i am wearing a pad from my belly button to my lower back because i am bleeding so much.....and the rest of my family is just about the same. Thank god i have the most wonderful husband in the world, i don't know what i would do without him.
Sorry this is so long, i just had to get this off my chest.

Last seen: 7 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/30/07
Posts: 117

Im so so sorry for your loss hun. How traumatic for you.

I completely understand the anger at the family. Mine were awful too. I had a missed m/c at 9 weeks and had a d & c. I cant tell you how long I sat waiting for one of them to turn up after I had d & c and was home from hospital and not one of them did. Not even a phone call from most of them. Then just a couple of weeks after my sis announces she is pg, and expects me to be happy for her. My honest advice is s***w them!! I am just being very hostile towards them all at the moment, if they cant show me support they dont deserve my time. Just be kind to yourself, remember you have been through alot, and if they dont understand thats their problem. We all care, and are sorry for your loss. We are here for you. Im glad you have such a wonderful DH, im sure you will need him through this. Hugs to you, big slaps to your family!

rubber_da_glove's picture
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

I'm so sorry for you. I also thought the pain wasn't going to be that bad and I was trowing up for about 4 hours too cos it was so bad! The same thing happend to me with the scak too. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

It's really hard for your family to understand how you feel. No one in my family had been through this either and they were the opersite to yours, making me stay off work and crying all the time which didn't help me either! You should stay off work until you feel better, don't go back until your ready.

My heart goes out to you


Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry too that you family is so dense. In some ways I am glad they have never experienced the pain, but still, can they be any stupider, referring to my family of course. Ppl just do not get the emotions of it. Hugs again!

Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 01/09/08
Posts: 19

Oh I know what you are feeling even if your family doesn't have a clue.

I went thru the 'doing it on my own' with my second m/c, that's why I elected, with this m/c, to have the d&c the next day (this past Tues). I couldn't bear to see it again. It was more than enough for me to see the slight bleeding and discoloration that goes along with it.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you have had to endure on top of it. I'm so glad your dh 'gets it'. Mine didn't the first few times, but he does now and that makes a world of difference. With my first m/c, I was nice and didn't say much when someone made a thoughtless comment. Now, I'm much more blunt. Unfortunately, it's usually those same people that continue to make inconsiderate comments six months from now and forget who they are talking to. I'd never tell you how to deal with your family, that is totally up to you. But, I'd take advantage of the hormones right now and let them know what you are going through. Be blunt, and don't be afraid to make them feel a bit guilty. I swear people do not consider miscarriage and losing a child as the same thing. I understand that they can't relate to what you're feeling since they haven't gone thru it themselves, BUT, they are human and should have compassion especially to a member of their own family. As you can probably tell, I have been in that situation too! It makes me so mad.
HUGS to you!!

vbear's picture
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 83

{{{{Hugs}}}} So sorry your family is not understanding.Glad DH is so good at least.

deborah74's picture
Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 12/14/05
Posts: 698

i'm so sorry for everything you've gone thru. Its not fair that you are not getting the support/sympathy that you need right now from your family. Some people are really clueless and ignorant. I think most of us have had some sort of 'stupid comments' that hurt. But I now that lots of people mean well but they just come across really poorly.

Big hugs to you. I hope the physical pain is getting easier for you. We are all here for the rest of your pain.

shellyhudson's picture
Last seen: 6 years 7 months ago
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry that you have to deal with such tactless people. I am sorry that you lost your baby. I hope that you physically heal quickly and that you find the peace and serenity that you deserve.


Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a m/c 2 weeks ago at 8 weeks, and I had the sac fall out in tact too. The only difference was that it was laying on the maxi pad, and I could see the baby inside. I still have vivid flashbacks of it. Sometimes I think it's a good thing because it makes the loss more real to me, but most times I wonder why it had to happen that way. Like you, I was also suprised at the physcial toll the m/c had on me.
I also understand about your reaction to your family's response. I've had mixed reactions from family. I know that the family members who are acting like it never happened are just doing so because it's an akward subject to bring up to someone, but I can't help feel sometimes like they just don't care.
I wish you the best in the healing process. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, so I'm glad you have a wonderful DH and I hope you can find some support here.

evilbarncat's picture
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 10/17/05
Posts: 21

I"m sorry for your loss Michelle. I'm in waiting right now. I found out on Friday that the baby stopped developing at 6/7 weeks. I elected not to go in this weekend for a procedure (I found out Friday at 4pm) but I have an appointment on Monday and I'm going to ask for a D&C then.

I'm sorry your family is being so unsupportive. :bighug:

Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

I am so sorry for you loss. I am also sorry that you aren't getting the support you need from family.

Sending cyber hugs your way.:bigarmhug:


Lily Maria Kathleen :angel1: August 10, 2007

Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds very traumatic.

I know about families too. Throughout my whole miscarriage, I actually delivered at 16 weeks, my family just wanted it to be over with so that I could "move on" with my life. People just don't get it. Having this kind of loss is not spoken about and people don't see the bond that mommies have for their children the day we find out we are pregnant.

Give yourself time. I still have moments of sadness and emptiness and it has been over 8 months.

Sending you cyber hugs.