What to do after a loss? Our doc never followed up :(
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Thread: What to do after a loss? Our doc never followed up :(

  1. #1
    Super Poster djpain75's Avatar
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    Default What to do after a loss? Our doc never followed up :(

    So my wife and I had a miscarrigae this weekend after 7 weeks. She called the nurse and we went in for a u/s. The u/s tech said we lost the baby but said everything else looked fine. The nurse then instructed her to get a shot and then pushed her out the door. No one gave her any advice, she was never even talked to. I would think that they would need to do a visit just to make sure everything is alright???

    Anyone else heard of being treated this way? Ive spoken with a few other mom's that have had problems and they were treaed the same, without any regard

    Our questions...that should have been already answered...

    1. So they gave her this shot for RH something or another ... whats it for and how many does she need?

    2. Is she going to be ok? Like why don't they care enough to make sure evertying is ok?

    3. How long do we need to wait to start trying again?

    4. How long will she continue to bleed?

    Thank you for your support

    PS I hate our doctor

  2. #2
    Mega Poster ducknjay's Avatar
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    I am SO sorry for your loss! And I'm very sorry that you had such awful medical care!

    The doc I had for my first loss (5 wks) was like, "hey they happen" and didn't even care to see me. Needless to say, I got a new doc who was wonderful for my second loss at 7 wks. I highly recommend you and your wife find a doctor she feels comfortable with and that you both feel you can talk to. It makes all the difference in the world.

    Let me stress that you really should find a doctor to go to now, because she will need to have a follow up on what is happening physically. Esp to make sure that all the tissue is expelled from the uterus. Having said this, let me try to answer your questions.

    To answer your quesitons:

    1- I really don't know what the shot was for. It could have been for pain, as the cramping can be quite intense. Not excruciating, but like a severe menstral cramp. But I would call and find out what is was, or better yet seek out a new OB/GYN and have them find out for you.

    2 - Physically, she will be fine, it takes a couple of weeks of resting and she should not lift anything heavy for at least a month. But emotionally, the recovery will take time. It's a shock and she will be grieving for some time. I had a tough time with my first loss, I really just wanted to crawl under a rock and cry for about two months. But with time it got better.

    3 - Depends on what the docs say. My doc told me to wait 3 cycles before I tried again. Other women on here were told they could try right after their next cycle. I don't think there's any one right answer for this one. Remember you both have to be emotionally ready too.

    4 - When you m/c naturally the bleeding lasts a while (versus a D/C). It should be like a heavy period, for me it lasted 10 days. For others shorter or longer. But if she has any fever you have to get to a doc asap.

    I hope these answers help.

    I am so sorry you had to go through this and join us, but I am glad you found us. Please know that you can post here any time. Also please let your wife know that this is a great place where many of us have found comfort, peace and understanding.

    Take care. HUGS!!!

  3. #3
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    i'm sorry for your loss. Did your wife go to emergency or the doctor's office? I went to emergency and the doctors are so overworked there that its frusterating to both them and the patient which can result in them not acting very caring. Mine was nice but I was in there for several hours.

    1. So they gave her this shot for RH something or another ... whats it for and how many does she need?
    She was tested for the RH factor. You can google it, if a woman is rh negative and the father is rh positive there can be problems but a shot can cure that. I think they gave your wife this shot because you were in this situation and it was given as a procaution for next pregnancy. (which is really nice)

    2. Is she going to be ok? Like why don't they care enough to make sure evertying is ok?
    SHe will be fine, you just need to hold her lots and let her cry it out. Make sure you take care of yourself too.

    3. How long do we need to wait to start trying again?
    That would be best answered by your doctor, mine told me I could start trying immedaitely. However your wife had the RH shot so that could need some time to take effect, you might be able to find that out online too. Most women take at least a month off trying to heal physically and emotionally.
    4. How long will she continue to bleed?
    I bled about 4-6 days (i've blocked it out of my mind) but I think some women bleed up to 10 days. Just make sure its about the same as her normal periods, if she continues to bleed very heavy than it might be good to take her to the doctor or call the nurse.


    Again, i'm sorry for your experience, as soon as your wife is up to it she's welcome to join us. The ladies here are very supportive and sympathetic.

  4. #4
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    You have already been given some great advice...

    You stated that your wife had a shot for RH or something?? was she RH negative?? If so, this is why she received the injection..

    http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pre...alth/1480.html

    I think I responded to you on another board?? I just wanted to again, say how very sorry I am that you and your wife lost your baby

    Marie

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    I am so sorry for your loss!! I hope you get the answers you are looking for. I hope you and your wife find a doctor that will answer everything you need to know, you deserve that much!

  6. #6
    Super Poster djpain75's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the advice. Yes mom@41 I was on the board for 1st trimester moms. Thank you all so very much. It's good to know we are not alone. Thank GOD for the internet
    Jerm & Daydra
    Lauren Elizabeth
    Lindsey Charolette
    For pics & vids check out our blog!
    www.paynesx4.blogspot.com


  7. #7
    Super Poster djpain75's Avatar
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    Default Thank you all - Doing better today

    First of all I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words of encouragement are paramount.

    Yesterday was the wife's and I's first day back to work after the loss. She ended up going home after being at work for about 30 mins. Her mngr actually pulled her aside and gave her 2 days pay so she could go home. I never expected that !!! I ended up pushing thru the day but was not without my crying bouts when ever anyone asked how the baby was doing.

    Today I am pleased to report we both are in much better spirits after spending some much needed time together and after showing her all the kind responses on these boards.

    We have learned a few things from this trying time. We know we can get pg !!!! We have a much closer, loving relationship. We know how much we want to start a family now. Previously we had the mindset that if it happens awesome, if not then it means were just not ready. Well now we both know how much this baby means to us so now its our first priority in life !!!! I have great HOPE for the future that one day we will be hearing the awesome sounds of a baby crying at 2am!!!! I cant wait!!!!

    Thank you all soooooooooooo much.

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    Oh I missed this. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to be at a loss. I didnt even get to talk to my doctor. I had to leave a message for the nurse. I called in the AM and by 2pm I called back and asked to please get a return call. I finally did get a call back but I still feel like I have unanswered questions.

    I personally feel that we should not feel rushed nor should we leave the office (or the phone) feeling like we dont have a full picture of the situation. Sometimes when Doctors and Nurses deal with this stuff on a regular basis they forget that this is a very personal and sad thing, and everyone deserves clear, meaningful answers.

    I hope you and your wife are feeling better and I am so sorry you had a bad experience with your doctor. I would find another DR when you get pregnant again.

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