When does it stop hurting?

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putney1477's picture
Joined: 01/03/07
Posts: 42
When does it stop hurting?

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Heather. I lost my baby at 12 wks. D&C 7/2. 2nd D&C 7/31. I called my primary care dr becasue I think I have a UTI maybe from the catheter. Receptionist was like ok how far along are you now? What kind of question is that? They know that I lost my baby because my primary dr herself called me after my 1st D&C to see how I was doing. Don't they put it in the charts that the baby was lost?

Then today I went to work...I work at a school and everyone knew that I was pregnant. Most of them also knew I lost the baby (I lost the baby on the last day of school and haven't seen anyone since) So I went to fill in for someone today at summer school. It was so hard...the staff were graet, saying how sorry they were and stuff like that.....but it hurt so much to have to relive it. I go back to work full time for the school in a few weeks....I'm so terrified to go back...I'm scared, I'm devestated....I don't know waht to do.....can anyone help me? please


Joined: 03/08/06
Posts: 183

I'm sorry for everything you are going through. Sometimes those receptionists don't look at the charts, and for that they need to be shot. It is so hard to return to work. I remember that feeling, and I think working with kids makes it worse (I too work in a school). You will get through it. If you need to cry, cry, if you need to avoid people do that. For me it was important to go back to work so that I had something else to occupy my thoughts and it really helped. You will have bad days, but as time goes on things will get better. You will do fine!! :bigarmhug:
If you need anything feel free to PM me.
Much Love and Hugs

thinktink19's picture
Joined: 06/18/06
Posts: 1028

I am sorry you had to go through that. I actually had a nurse at my old OB's office come in at what would have been my ten week *i was there to get blood drawn to make sure levels were going down* and she came in and told me to lay down so we could get the babys h/b. I was stunned and did not know what to say, the head nurse heard her and took her out of that room really quick! Again i am sorry you had to go through that and sorry for your loss

Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 28

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time right now. I lost my baby about 5 weeks ago and I still don't want to be around anyone and I especially hate running into people who know I was pg but didn't know I miscarried. It's so uncomfortable. I'm not working now but I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to go back to work and face everyone. I think that once you get back into the swing of things, you'll feel better...probably after the first day or two of school. You're going to be fine. Please come back and definitely post and let us know how your first day back goes. Good luck and (((hugs))) to you.


OneLuckyLady's picture
Joined: 04/12/07
Posts: 129


Heather, I'm so sorry. I don't know why doctor offices can't be more together. I went in to get my levels checked after my loss and the lab tech (at the office) says 'This is for your pregnancy?' GRRRRRRR My chart is right freaking there...why not read it? :evil:

After my loss I avoided people b/c I knew the first time I saw them I would see that look on their face and I just didn't want to deal with it. Eventually, you just have to. What I do is sort of roll play what people will ask or say and how I will respond- that way when they ask I am more on autopilot than actually thinking about it, if that makes sense. Again I am so sorry.

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

:comfort: I am so sorry for the pain you are going through...

Is there anyway you could call those who do not know?? Let them know what happened before school starts??

The first day will be the hardest...Once you get through that day...the rest will be hard, but more bearable..

We are here for you :bighug:


careyayn22's picture
Joined: 09/01/06
Posts: 54

I can really empathize with you. I had a receptionist from my endcrinologist call me and harp on me for missing an appointment (the day after I gave birth to my stillborn son).

Also, I teach and I took about five weeks off after the birth (came back after Christmas break). I did send an E-mail to my principal and I had him forward it on to the staff. He also had a quick staff meeting that morning to let people know (he was also kind enough to talk to my students too). Now, in my case, people had been following along with my pregnancy, but it did ease my way back in...people didn't bring it up unless I did in most cases....and everyone knew.

PG quickly mentioned:

I still ran into people who didn't know....and now with a subsequent pg, I still get a lot of awkward questions that are sometimes hard to answer (is this your first child? type stuff).

It does get easier, but it never really goes away....or at least not for me 9 months later. :bigarmhug:

nummynoo's picture
Joined: 02/18/09
Posts: 20

I go back to work next Tuesday since my M/C. I had some time off work and the 2 weeks annual leave. I am so nervous about going back.

My heart goes out to you. I completly understand how you feel

Buffalo Gal's picture
Joined: 08/01/05
Posts: 47

I had a m/c last summer and it was really tough going back to school. I got tons done in my room trying to get my mind off things, but it was still hard to see everyone. And everyone knew I was pregnant (our school is gossip central). I'm sorry you are going through this and wish I had better words to help you feel better.


putney1477's picture
Joined: 01/03/07
Posts: 42

Thank you ladies so much. I have taken what you have all said to heart. I know in time it will get better. I know the first few days of school will be rough. I am taking it 1 day at time. And trying to keep myself busy Smile

Thank you again