It can make it so much more painful! As a mother I feel the need to fix everything; every boo boo, every argument & hurt feelings. I just feel so helpless when I look at my 8yo and 6yo still hurting at times from the loss or our baby boy Reid. I just want to fix it and make the pain go away. I understand that is part of their healing and it needs to happen, I just hate to see them in pain, knowing how painful it can be myself. We are very open and listen to them, answer their questions and talk about what has happened. They talk about how happy they were to be able to see Reid and even hold him. I am glad they have those memories to hold. This baby was the whole focus of their lives, they had been wanting, wishing and praying for a baby sibling for years. My son who's 8 keeps asking me if I can take a pgcy test to see if I am pg again, he keeps sneaking a hand onto my now flat stomache. He came down from being in bed for 2 hours last night with tears in his eyes asking me if I can go to the dr's and see if they can do a test to find out if I will ever have another baby... then crying he tells me how he misses Reid. All of our baby things and maternity things have been stored away in our spare bedroom (what was the baby's room) and the door closed until dh and I could find it in us to go in and organize. I've caught my daughter who is 6 in there several times rummaging thru the baby things, once sitting on the floor crying holding one of Reids stuffed animals in her arms and telling me that Reid would have loved it. Gosh it's enough that dh and I have to hurt so much, it's not fair for my little ones to have to experience the pain too.
Anyone else dealing with trying to make sense of a loss with their older children?