I know how you feel. One lady whose house I clean weekly just brought her new little girl home while I was doing her kitchen. Everyone was so excited to see the baby. The girls I work with gushed and cooed and then one remembered and there was that akward silence while they all looked at me with the pity just radiating off them. It was horrible. So is going to the mall where all new mothers tote thier kids around. This sounds terrible, but I found a stray puppy the other day and my hubby decided to keep her. I think it's because of the m/c even though he swears it's just because she's so darned cute and needs medical attention to treat a few things caused by being a stray. She's keeping me busy. It's easier when I'm busy. But sometimes, I feel like I'm trying to replace a baby with a dog and that's just sick. Everything hurts doesn't it. Every stupid little daily task has a baby thought attatched to it. I hope you can TTC soon if you think that will help. I'm not at all ready to consider that option, but I think I know how you feel.
I can't imagine...I switched units at work because (not the only reason) a few girls at work were pregnant and just a couple weeks ahead of me. I want to go visit people, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know at least one of them will be there and I can't stand the thought of seeing them pregnant and happy. I'm starting to not feel mad everytime I see a stranger pregnant, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about them. I don't want to make them feel bad either because as much as it doesn't seem like it, I'm happy for them.
I'm still waiting on the time when every little thing I do doesn't remind me of my son or my recent loss. Some things feel like they are getting easier, but that hasn't yet.
I totally understand the pity thing, it's one of the worst parts of this whole nightmare. I almost wish I didn't tell ANYONE so I wouldn't have to deal with those looks, but at 4 months pregnant, I *thought* I was safe...
I don't have a huge problem with pg women, even though I work with one young woman who is due ANY day now... when I talk to her about her baby/labour I just totally tune out my own life and experience, and can't even think about it or I'd lose it. I know it'll be difficult when my EDD approaches and I am dreading that. The ONLY thing that will make it better is if I'm am pg again or at least TTC. So I get where you're coming from on that one too. We were told to wait 2-3 cycles, so I'm looking forward to a summer of TTC. It is sometimes the one thing that helps me get through this, even though I feel slightly guilty and as if I'm dishonouring my lost one by thinking about TTC so quick...agh, it's so freakin' hard...
I can totally understand where you are coming from. I couldn't go anywhere after my angel died. My mom made me go to Wal-mart one day with her and after 10 minutes I couldn't bear it. It was so hard knowing a few hours before she died we were there. It was also hard knowing there were other babies there. Why wasn't mine? I even refused parties for kids after she passed. No one understood. So while it seems harsh they don't really know what we are going through. I hope soon you will be holding a beautiful healthy baby. It will be ok. HUGS!
Sadly, there's no way I can avoid seeing her when she's in the building. I'm a department manager and I work closely with the sales reps-- she's one of them. I was able to talk with her later on (non-baby stuff) and that actually seemed to help. I guess it's just something I'm going to have to deal with; and thankfully I don't have to see her every day. I'm sure it will get easier; but I wish it didn't hurt so much right now.