I would love to do some sort of memorial or walk. I put Zach's name in the Shrine of the Holy Innocents in NYC, every month on a certain day (first tuesday?) they do a special mass and say all the names of the babies in the book.
(((hugs))) Go with your instinct. I never knew if my m/c (4-5 wks) was a boy or girl, I did choose 2 names but i really do believe that was a boy too.
The memorial services are nondenominational, there is usually a song sung, a story, usually a family who has had a loss in the past tells there story and then the families are invited to go and light a candle for their baby. They have a box that you can put notes in to your baby that they put in one of the mass graves. After the service you can go to the grave site - they have 4 graveyards that they use and they rotate through them. They do a graveside ceremony as well but we did not stay for that.
The walk is amazing. They hold it on the government grounds through a beautiful walkway. It is not long, about 2km and they write all the babies names in chalk. It was so hard seeing for most of the walk names on both sides. Before the walk the have booths set up. I received a tulip, there were cards where you could write your story. A lot of the families had t-shirts with their babies names on them. They had bubbles to blow. They had a display with the tiny basinettes that they bring s/b babies in after cleaning them up. Here is the website. Walk to Remember: Raising awareness of pregnancy and baby loss - Edmonton Alberta, Canada
Both days while there are a lot of tears there is a lot of joy also in remembering these little lives.
The support team is awesome. Patti who runs it has had 3 losses herself so she knows exactly what we have gone through. We are so lucky that they have the program and it is all free (well, all medical stuff is free here but not usually counseling). Even though it has now been almost 2 years I can still call, email or go in if I need to.My husband's seizures are nocturnal so I know that that is like. They thought he was under control until we were living together. One night he has 7 in a row, I was at the point if he had one more I was calling 911. He has now been seizure free for about 7 years.
That is fantastic - your husband!!!! I keep close watch on my Kaden....He sleeps next to me, and I am a light sleeper. I normally wake 6 times in a 6 hr period, ck his breathing, movements, even if he looks peaceful..Just worry about the peaceful! I don't know if I'll ever stop worrying!! ......