I think I can finally feel confident enough to start my own pregnancy journal! My name is Ashley (22) and I've been married to my DH (25) for 2 1/2 years, but we've been together for over 5. We started TTC in June last year and figured it would happen overnight. It was a little more complicated than that, but thank goodness we ended up conceiving on our own on our 6th cycle. It seriously felt like the longest 6 months of my life, but I am thankful every day that we were able to conceive that "quickly" compared to what many girls have to go through. We had decided to start trying because it was "good timing" - I was about to graduate from college, DH has a really good job, we were planning on looking for a new house in the fall, etc. It just seemed like the right time. But I don't think we really considered the fact that getting pregnant = having a baby...forever. I mean obviously we knew that we'd get a baby out of it, but it's hard to grasp what a change this is going to be. But all the time we spent trying, I had plenty of time to evaluate this & how it's going to change our very active lifestyle, and now I know we won't regret it for a moment. Now we just get to patiently (or not so much!) wait for the arrival of our first little one!
As I just started this journal and I'm almost through my first trimester, here is my attempt at covering the past 12 weeks...
Week 1-2: Wishing and hoping this cycle would end up in a BFP, although I had lost most hope by this point. I actually though I was doomed to infertility. Week 3: Starting to feel a little "off", but I have really random PMS symptoms every month since stopping BCPs back in February, so I chalk it up to that. Week 4: Weird symptoms continue. I let me hopes get up again. At 8 DPO, I test with a Target test that results in a BFN. An hour later, there is a definite 2nd line, but of course I didn't trust it. Still got me a bit excited though. 10 DPO, I see a funny dark vein my shoulder that I haven't noticed before, and think "that has to be a sign"...I test & get a BFP on a Target test. Unfortunately, I read they give false positives, and don't get my hopes up until after work when I purchase a FRER...BFP!!! I also had a digital lying around that I swore not to use until I needed confirmation...and it said "Pregnant". I was so excited, but so nervous that I would lose the baby. I told DH that night with a baby name book & he said "You're pregnant? Are you sure?!" He was thrilled. Week 5: Obviously, AF didn't show, which made me feel a bit better (at least I knew it was a chemical pregnancy). However, my pessimistic side still held strong, and I feared m/c most of the time. Every twinge made my heart stop. Had to find an OB with no help (since we hadn't told anyone). Scheduled first appt for January 7th, only to discover DH would be out of town, so I moved it to January 12th. Started getting super moody at work & also breaking out in cold sweats. Week 6: Told DH's parents & siblings. They were all thrilled and it was the first time this felt "real". Starting to get a touch of nausea every now and then, but really mild. Boobs started getting a bit sore (never was a PMS thing for me), but definitely manageable. Still trying not to get too excited in fear of m/c. Week 7: Told my parents/siblings on Christmas Eve. Left for a vacation to Mexico Christmas Day. Nausea hit hard on the vacation, as well as exhaustion. Had other family there who didn't know, so I had to fake that I felt good. It was a hard week and I wanted to be home. Also...ruined Mexican food for me (still @ 12 weeks, makes me nauseous just to think about it). Got home New Year's Eve, but went to dinner with friends & then went home and to bed by 10 pm. Didn't have the energy or stomach to stay up later. DH was a good sport about it. Had a dream baby was a boy. Week 8: Nausea and exhaustion continue. Work is getting hard to get through with how busy I am plus being so sick. Almost threw up after eating an apple, but ended up only dry heaving for 5 minutes. I start eating a ton of carbs to keep nausea at bay. Digestive system is officially shot (lol). Had another boy dream. Weird cramps in my left hip. Anxious for first appointment next week! Week 9: Nausea and exhaustion continue, as well as digestive distress. Finally, my first OB appointment arrives. Got to have u/s and see our one baby and his or her heartbeat. It was such a great moment to see that baby pop up on the screen. We decide to tell friends that night. I'm on Cloud 9 for the rest of the week Week 10: So tired, and get nauseous frequently. Have a hard time making it through my day at work. Start to get funny little crampy feelings, but they aren't at all like AF cramps, so I don't worry much. Boobs feel bigger although I'm not sure they actually are. Some of my pants no longer fit or at least aren't comfortable, but I'm not showing at all. Still worry about m/c daily, but I have a bit more faith this will work out now. Week 11: Nausea goes away for a entire day...I am glad, but then start to worry. Comes back the next day in full force, so I don't worry any more. Starts to fluctuate a lot more, but when it comes, it comes hard. I am hoping this is a sign that the placenta is starting to take over. A lot of twinges, but I'm writing them off as round ligament pain/uterus stretching. Next appointment is in 2 weeks and I'm getting ancy to hear my baby's heartbeat so I know he or she is doing okay. Dream that baby is a boy again.
Now that I'm caught up...on we go with the adventure
We are on a trip right now, but I can't do a lot of the activites, so I'm just getting some much needed relaxation. My nausea is getting a lot less horrible. I think I have learned to manage it a lot better though by eating a high carb breakfast. Our next appointment isn't for a week and a half, but I am already getting nervous. I'm sure with all the symtpoms I've been having that everything is fine, but it still is cause for worry. I still am not showing yet, but I think I can feel my uterus now. I have only gained 1.5 lbs so far, which is a miracle considering the amount of food I have been putting down in the morning. At night, I am hungry, but my stomach doesn't want to hold very much before telling me I'm full. I'm grateful that I've made it this far without actually throwing up...I think I might be clear of that threat now. I'm excited to feel baby start moving soon...even though that could be a month or so still. I read that the external gender differences will be completed in a matter of days! I still think it's a boy and so does DH. We'll see!! My doc says they usually do the gender u/s around 18 weeks. I'm excited to know for sure!
I still have a hard time remembering I'm pregnant sometimes. I really can't grasp the idea that we'll have a baby here in 6 short months. Maybe it is how much I've been focused on the possibility of m/c. I think feeling the baby and knowing the gender will get me over that a bit. I'm so thrilled to have made it this far! I don't know why, but I really thought we'd never stay pregnant this long. But now I'm trying to be positive and think about the future with baby.
I think the nausea is finally starting to let up. I haven't throw up once, so I don't get much sympathy from my friends who've been through it, but the constant nausea was awful. But the last few days, I have gotten it less than normal. So I'm crossing my fingers! I still haven't told my work that I'm pregnant yet. Probably will next week if everything looks good at our appointment next Tuesday. That'll be nice to off my chest! The girls at my work bug me constantly about when we're going to have kids, and are always talking about what their pregnancies were like. It's actually quite annoying. I'm sure it'll be even more annoying when they find out, but at least I won't have to act dumb the whole time.
I'm starting to have a hard time sleeping because no position is comfortable. Sleeping on my stomach hurts after a while, same with my back, and my sides just aren't comfy anymore. I don't know what the deal is. My body needs to suck it up and deal because it isn't going to get anything but worse in the next 6 months. Oh, and having to pee 2 times a night isn't helping the matter! LOL!
Only 4 days until my second OB appointment. I am getting so anxious for it to come! It doesn't seem like my last appointment was only about four weeks ago, but it also feels like it has been forever. I'll feel so much better knowing our little bean is in there safe and sound.
I had the weird few cramps 2 days ago. I was getting dressed to go to the gym and got a couple of really painful twinges across what I'm guessing is the top of my uterus. They freaked me out, so I sat down for a moment and they never came back. I wonder if it was just adjusting or something. I've heard BH's can happen this early, but I'd really like that not to be it....I'd rather not have those for at least 20 weeks! LOL!
Lately I've been lying in bed at night *trying* to feel baby move...too bad it is super unlikely, but I figure it could just maybe happen. No luck though. I'll definately keep paying attention for them until it happens though. I'm so excited to almost be done with the first tri! I'm finally starting to get excited!
Even better news...I got my doppler (finally!) in the mail yesterday & found baby's heartbeat after probably 20 minutes of searching (then it only took about 5 today now that I know where to look!). It's hard to count, but I'm guessing around 160 bpm. I guess we'll find out in a few days. Our next appointment is Tuesday & I'm so excited!
Almost had a completely nausea-free day yesterday other than a short spell in the afternoon. So far, nothing today. I can only dream this is the end of it! nausea! Been a bit crampy, but nothing exciting. Just anxiously awaiting my appointment and to start feeling baby move!
I think baby was kicking the doppler yesterday I found the heartbeat really quickly & it was loud (baby must have been positioned close to the front) and then I got some "thumps" in my ears. So cute! Anyway, getting anxious for my appointment tomorrow. I'm dreading weighing in!
Baby's HB was in the 160's, I've gained 3 pounds , and all my bloodwork from last appointment came back clear, so I'm very happy with my appointment. Hopefully these darn headaches will go away soon so I can actually start enjoying my 2nd trimester! I was also able to schedule my BIG u/s for March 12th!! Just have to be patient for a month and we'll know whether we have a little girl bean or a boy bean in there!
Not a lot to report...the nausea continues to decrease by the day. I have had a few sudden bouts, but nothing a Tylenol & some carbs couldn't fix. I know it is still really early, but I'm bummed that I haven't felt the baby move at all yet; it seems like 1/2 of the girls on my BB already have! I have been playing with my doppler listening to the heartbeat & then I get some "thumps", so I know baby is moving, I just can't feel it darn it!
This whole thing still doesn't feel "real" to me. Maybe that is why I so deperately want to feel baby move, but I just feel like I'm getting fat because I have been lazy (which is probably also true). I just can't imagine that we're going to have a baby in under 6 months. Maybe finding out the gender will do it for me. DH & I picked names for a boy and a girl on Valentine's Day or at least finalized our decisions (unless something better comes up! lol). The 2 names we had picked out before we started TTC are off the list, and 2 new random ones are on. We promised not to tell anyone the names until the baby is born (my idea...I don't want to hear negative feedback on a name I love), so I'm not even going to post them on here in case someone I know IRL reads this. But I'm very excited about our name choices Like I said though...it is hard to imagine still that I'll have a little being to use one of them very soon. Only 23 more days until we'll know (if our little one cooperates that is!). I have felt the baby was a boy the whole time up until the last few days, now suddenly I'm thinking girl. So I guess I don't trust my instincts at all right now & will be pleasantly surprised either way!
We just got back a mini-trip to Florida on Sunday. It was a work trip for DH, but I decided to go too to get some relaxation and time away from work. We hit a few of the Disney spots, and I walked more in a few days than I have since getting pregnant (thanks to nausea for killing my previous 5 day a week workouts). I could tell the whole flight home that my uterus had just had it with all my walking; it was soo achey and heavy feeling. Then yesterday, I had to do some really fast grocery shopping, and I guess the combination of it still being tired from the trip on top of pushing around a cart in heels just did me in; DH & I went to another store after and I could barely walk around. I felt 9 months pregnant trying to hold my hardly-existant belly "in" so stop the pain. I've wondered a few times whether I might have a cyst on my left side since all my pain seems to be there, but it isn't bad enough usually to be an issue, so maybe I'll just ask the u/s tech to look for "something" at our big ultrasound in 2 weeks. But it could just be because I think the baby is mostly nestled on that side based on where I find the heartbeat with my doppler.
On our trip, I was lying in bed and was leaning over to DH & felt a "pop"...I thought maybe it was baby, but it's hard to say. The last 2 days, I've had a few weird sensations again, sort of like a kernal of popcorn popping inside my belly, and then today I had a few within a few minutes, so I think it has to be baby moving! I can't wait for a "for sure" kick or punch...it actually makes the whole pregnancy thing feel more real.
I also haven't been nauseous for 2 days...hope that continues! It's been fabulous. And for once in a week, I'm not a moody bee-otch today!