Wow! Is all I can say... I can't believe I'm actually posting here!
I've been having dreams for months that I will give birth to a baby on or within two days of my 25th birthday and here I am today - having just found out at 10DPO that I am indeed pregnant and due on either the 17th or the 18th (my birthday!) of August 2007!
I can't help but feel this is something of a little miracle... I just kind of feel like this was meant to be... I know I should be worried about another miscarriage or things going wrong but I just can't be! I was thinking about it today and thinking the odds (based on my history) of me carrying this baby to term are slim, but I still feel like this is it - there's nothing to worry about at all.
I'm actually kind of shocked. I "knew" I would get pregnant this month.... But I didn't expect it!!! Here's the post I made this morning when I first found out...
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
I was going to post yesterday that I was 9DPO and had taken a test but got a BFN... Not that I was worried about it or stressed out as I didn't expect to see a BFP because I just DON'T feel pregnant.
I didn't get the time to post in the end, BUT I got up this morning to do a test at 10DPO and OMG! There's a faint line!
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
I ran out the bathroom to see it under a brighter light and Martin was just coming up the stairs, he took one glance at it and started jumping up and down too!!! Even better he said that last night he had a dream for the first time that we were having a little girl, so he nearly fainted when he saw a line on the HPT!!!!
OMG.... I'm kind of shocked and worried. I've never had a BFP this early before, but I normally have early pregnancy symptoms and this time I don't.... So I'm going to test again tomorrow and see a darker line I just know it and then I guess I'll truely believe it!
Baby - if you're in there.... Grow, grow, grow!!!!
We're both so excited! I don't know why but we're more excited this time then I can remember being with the others. Well that sounds bad but it's not really - we WERE excited with all the others, but I can't remember being as excited as I feel now (I probably was though!)....
Also a little scared. I'm going to be 25 with 5 children aged 6 and under! Eep! What am I letting myself in for?!
Some things we've been talking about today include names... We've already decided on the names we'd like, but we aren't telling anyone in fear it will jinx things (not sure what things but normally I feel like everything is going wrong with my pregnancies so not taking any risks...) We also don't want to discuss names with other people because we don't want to focus too much on the gender of this baby... I've been so disappointed in my last three pregnancies when we found out we were having boys that I didn't enjoy them as I should have done... So this time we have decided not to find out. And even if we do we're not going to tell anyone when we are doing it, or what the baby's gender is as it always brings about unwelcome comments.
We've decided on a home water birth again. Martin would like it to be just us this time... I'm happy with that although I think it'll feel odd without my Mum there...
This week we're going to buy a load of products to try and ease the symptoms of SPD and relieve the pain. We never bothered in any of my last pregnancies, when there could have been stuff we could have done that would have made it not so bad... Well I hate being in pain as much as the next person so this time around I'm not going to be stupid and just put up with it, I'm going to try and avoid it altogether!
We haven't told the boys yet... We know they'll be excited when we do though, so I'll probably tell them in the next couple of days!
We're not telling anyone else until around Christmas though... Everyone that we want to know, will know this week - everyone else can wait!
So that's about where we are for now... Am anxiousely awaiting another test tomorrow and hoping to see a darker line... But to be honest, I couldn't believe it this morning as I didn't think I'd had any symptoms but during the day I've come to realise I have been having quite obvious symptoms and just dismissing them... For instance when I woke up this morning I felt like I had a hangover even though I hadn't had a drop to drink. Then none of my clothes feel like they fit anymore because I've been so bloated. My face has broken out like a teenagers and my moods and energy levels have been all over the place as I've been feeling really tired. I've also felt sick the last few days but put it down to hunger and stress and my boobs hurt like hell and look like they've grown by about two sizes...
Anyway, I hope to be writing here about this journey for the next few months!
And to my precious baby, I hope you're doing well and growing stronger by the day! I can't wait to get past 6 weeks when I know you'll probably be safer!