Well, I've got my next scan tomorrow. I'm excited but not nearly as excited as the fact we've decided to move and have found our dream house! We're putting in our offer on it tomorrow and hoping they'll accept it and we can get our house on the market and sell it ASAP.... Fingers crossed it will all work out as it's perfect for our family! Seven bedrooms, kitchen, breakfast room, dinng room, office, - the works! Everything we could possibly need and a few extra rooms! In a really posh area as well.
It pushes our budget a LOT... But we're sure we can manage it if we try hard and work hard!
Please, please, please, please let this work out!!!!!
As for pregnancy... Everything is great! Baby seems to be doing well, I am getting fatter by the hour, the boys are getting ever more excited... They're coming to our scan tomorrow and so excited. This is the first scan they'll have been to this pregnancy so it'll be great for them to find out at the same time as us what gender this little bundle is going to be for definate. I bought some designer clothes for this baby last week, so I really hope it's what we think it is otherwise I've just wasted a lot of money!!!!
Ho-hum.... I'll post tomorrow with an update!
I don't know how long I can keep things secret about the gender... So tomorrow I'll probably be blurting it out all over the place!!!!
OK.... I am FINALLY getting excited now!! I can't help feeling like I've finally got the "perfect" family. That probably sounds wrong but I don't care... What more could I ask for?! Four strapping boys and a beautiful baby girl! Now all we need is that perfect house and our lives will finally be complete!
It sounds odd saying we're having a girl though... Everyone just expects we'll have a boy after four boys so I think a lot of people are as shocked that this precious baby is a girl as we are!!!
I just don't know what to say. I can't believe my family is so perfect! I can't believe the boys are so excited! I was expecting to be told yesterday that they could see boy bits... I mean they told me at 12weeks and 4days that sh was a she but I didn't really, truely believe it... I think the lady from BabyBond thought I was ungrateful or something as I didn't say much and didn't seem very pleased about it, but I just didn't know what to say. I was expecting boy bits - and there aren't any!!!
Perfect, perfect, perfect! I never really believed I'd ever have a little girl... And all those people who said I'm like my Gran were right. My Granny had four girls and then a boy and then two more girls... I think I'll stop here though!!! Martin keeps saying we shouldn't completely put the lid on having more children, but I just don't want too... I've got what I wanted and I can't imagine things ever being better then they are right now!
To my beautiful Miss. Lacey Rose, I can't believe it!!! Woohooo!!!!! We bought you a little designer dress the other day... I never believed it would get used but it's so exciting!!! Daddy is promising you only the best right now... And your older brothers, who never doubted you were finally going to be their little sister, won't stop talking about you! We're all very excited... You're going to be one lucky little girl and very loved - especially by your older brothers!!! Tristan's already said he's going to take you dipping for newts when you're older. I'm hoping you're going to be a girlie girl, but I'm sure he'll still persuade you!!!
Stay safe little one!
I saw my midwife again yesterday. Fantastic lady! Everything is great, she took Lacey Rose's heartbeat and Lacey Rose was kicking the transducer - so cute!
My BP is great too at 90/74... At my last appointment is was 105/75!
We discussed my birth options. I don't want TENS, or drugs. Just entonox and my birth pool and my own self hypnotism! I have also decided to go for a physiological third stage for the first time ever. Bit nervous as I've hear it can take hours but I don't suppose it really matters, but as others have said - seems a bit of a shame to do everything naturally and then have artificial drugs for the last bit so the placenta will just have to come when it comes!!! We also agreed she's not going to cut the cord until the placenta is delivered unless it really needs to be done - which means nobody else can hold my little princess until she's completely seperated from me!
I've also decided against having a doula for now. We also discussed whether to do the Vitamin K injection... I did it with all the others but was never sure it was worth it and don't know what the possible side effects are so next time she's bringing me a ton of information on it!
Oh, and she wrote a note in my notes saying that I needed extra support to maintain my supply for breastfeeding. I'm pretty sure I have some serious supply issues from past experience. So that's reassuring.
I haven't felt Lacey Rose move much yet. I felt her yesterday when the doppler was on my stomach and she was kicking against it, but that was it.
I keep having really unsettling dreams about tsunami's and giant waves. So I haven't been sleeping well recently as it's almost every night. Not sure what the symbolism of that it - I always survive the waves but they keep coming. I'm in a city and it's just wave upon wave, getting bigger each and every time. I survive them (just!) but most of the people around me do not... It's horrid, I hate dreaming about it. So I've been trying not to sleep recently - not that I can stop sleeping as I'm shattered constantly.
Oh, my blood test results all came back normal... I thought my Iron levels might be low because I'm lacking so much energy but apparently they're really, REALLY good! They were when I had Ashton too so not to surprised!
Oh, I had protein in my urine.
And I've been suffering really bad stomach pains. My uterus is really tender, just to touch let alone move around. Not sure why but it seems to be that way this time around.
I was supposed to be going to do all my shopping at the Baby Show next Friday but we don't have any money at the moment so I guess that's off now. So upset as I've always wanted to go there and never been able to and I really thought this time I would get the chance.
Oh well! All is well so no complaints here!
I'm going to start on Lacey Rose's nursery this weekend... I'll take pics if I can find a working camera in this house.
To my precious Lacey Rose, I hope you're growing well and keeping safe and healthy and I can't wait to finally start feeling you wiggling around in a few weeks!
I haven't been very good at updating this recently. To be honest, I haven't really felt in the mood... I'm not feeling too great at the moment. Blinding headaches and fatigue are battering me!
Miss. Lacey Rose hasn't been very active recently. I rarely feel her move. It's strange because with the boys I always felt them moving quite a bit by now and this time it's just like a waiting game wondering if she's OK or not. I wish I hadn't turned down that blinkin' test for Spina Bifida now, but at the time I figured we'd see it at the next scan anyway.
I'm a bit fed up to be honest. Not with the pregnancy just with life in general. I saw my Physio just over a week ago and she discharged me! WTF? Did I miss something? Now I'm in pain again, and life just seems a bit ****e and I'm kind of wondering what to do with myself.
I've got a need for some matrnity stuff and no cash to go and buy anything. I've not bought a single item of baby stuff either. Martin has but I haven't been allowed.
I was really pinning all my hopes on going to the Baby Show yesterday. I've wanted to go ever since I was pregnant with Tristan and there was always an excuse why we couldn't... He promised me this time that I would be allowed and lo and behold I haven't been. Bit pissed off really but what did I expect. He never sticks to his promises. Barely bothers to make an effort with anything these days. I'm sick to death of hearing his constant whinging at the moment...
Just really fed up. I want to run away and pretend my life doesn't exist right now... I need a holiday or a break or a chance to just relax and not have to do anything. I can't ever shut off, not even for a minute.
Just really fed up. I feel slightly depressed right now. Spend most of my time crying, I just feel so tired all the time. I have constant headaches... Yesterday it was so bad that I couldn't see properly. My vision went blurred for awhile. And of course Martin does his thing he does, where every two minutes he asks me what's wrong, then ignores me and makes me carry on doing whatever it was he wanted me to do, then complains because I'm not quick enough, lively enough, enthusiastic enough etc etc... Then two minutes later again asks me what the **** is wrong.
**** this I give up. Tomorrow I am going to lie in bed, ignore the kids, all the work I have to do, and do nothing. I can't be arsed anymore with my life so I'm not going to bother like certain other people I could mention but won't.
I just can't be arsed. And you know what, to make myself feel better I'm going to go and spend some bloody money and do some shopping online. **** him. If he doesn't like it he can go swing for all I care these days.
I'm sick to death of being supportive and never getting anything back in return.
And I'm booking someone to come in after the birth to help me, cos let's face it past experience tells me he'd rather see me starving and dehydrated then help me out.
Well a few hours after my last post Martin's wonderful Nan passed away. She was such a lovely person, so full of life and only aged 84.... So dreadful, it was like loosing my Gran all over again because I loved Rosina so much. I think she thought of me fairly highly too... At least I hope she did. She was always telling me how beautiful I am, how much she appreciated me and Martin helping her when we could, she told me I was her second favourite relative after Martin and apparently in the hours before she died she kept asking for me and calling the nurses Sarah....
I suppose that should be comforting but it's not... Makes me feel even worse. I don't know how Martin feels. He just seems to have carried on as normal.
I'm just glad we decided to tell her we were having a girl and naming Lacey Rose after her...
So I'm back. I feel a bit better now I took a few weeks out. Lost a friend or two along the way but not overly bothered. If they'd been good friends they'd have understood what was happening and put up with me as I would have done if it was them.
Anyway, I'm not going to post up my journal entries between then and now as they're too depressing and it's just not worth some snot nosed jobsworth getting their oar in and bringing up all the ill feelings again.
Everything here is fine. The last two days I've actually enjoyed being pregnant. Don't know why as I've not really acted pregnant at all. No shopping, no relaxing, no pampering, no paying any real attention to it and now I've got to work during my pregnancy too. A bit bummed out about that really as I always imagined my last pregnancy would be all about relaxing and pampering and shopping. I'd have never imagined it'd be as stressful as this.
Oh well, I'll write it off as yet another pregnancy I won't get to enjoy very much. Why change the habit of a lifetime eh?! LOL
Everything health wise appears fine. My blood pressure was up a bit at my last appointment. I had traces of protein and sugar in my urine and my stomach and pelvis is really sore these days... But other then that she is fine and healthy - growing really well. She loves Raistlin already! LOL It's so cute. He comes up twice a day and prods my stomach until she kicks back and then sits there talking to her and kissing my belly.
I'm just trying to find some cheap birth video's on Ebay. JJ is insistant he is there at the birth even if it's in the middle of the night. Raistlin is too. Tristan has said if he is asleep he doesn't want to be woken up but I just want to refresh their memories as to what happens during a birth and what it looks like BEFORE we get too close to it!
So yeah. I'm not back on all the boards I used to go too. Frankly I just can't be bothered with the dial up connection. It makes surfing on pg.org really difficult. But hopefully I'll get broadband back sometime this century and then I'll be fully back.
I can't believe how quickly and yet how slowly this pregnancy is going by.... Seems like a million years and yet only yesterday since I first found out I was pregnant!
My brother phoned this morning and asked if he could babysit the boys today... We were a bit shocked as nobody ever asks to have them really. Well, they do but they don't actually phone up with a date! Then a few hours later he phones and says he's going to do a BBQ for them tonight and can they stay for the night!
We are just tidying out what will become Miss Lacey Rose's nursery/bedroom... I really need to start getting stuff ready. My hips are getting worse by the day and if I don't get it done in the next few weeks I don't think it'll get done. This pregnancy hasn't been the relaxing, pampering, shopping filled dream I wished for - but I'll be damned if I don't at least get a bedroom with baby stuff this time around.
I keep kind of harping on about it - but I really am disappointed. Martin promised me a wonderful pregnancy and so far it's been nothing but stress and anger.
Anyway.... I have been thinking about ways I can entertain the kids whilst I'm in labour - assuming they're actually awake this time! I'm going to get a box for each of them and fill it with little treats and presents. And everytime they get a bit fractious I'm going to get my Mum to dig in and find a "present" for them. New things always seem to keep the kids amused for a short while. I'm also going to get a little paddlng pool that can go on the patio so they can have their own "pool" like Mummy. And assuming it's during the day I think other then that I might just open the back doors and let them roam free!
I'm hoping Rachell will be there as she can deal with the kids. Martin wants to focus on me apparently. Not sure what that means exactly but he said this time he doesn't care what happens or what needs to be done he's staying with me and not leaving the room.
I can't believe I'm having to work this time around... Hopefully it'll bring in the extra cash we need though and so I can start doing the things I want to do. The things Martin always promised to do for me or buy me and never did in all of my five pregnancies. I'll do them for myself then.
It's not even easy work. And I won't get maternity leave in all probability because it's kind of my own business and the money isn't there for me to take "paid leave". So I'm going to be walking around factories and other hazardous area's taking measurements etc etc and writing up reports. But I can't complain as I'll be getting £500 a day roughly for it..! Plus it uses technology I happen to LOVE and find absolutely fascinating.
I've also been working as a cat sitter. Although I don't have anymore work along those lines until June/July time I don't think.
Anyway. Hopefully Martin is on his way back, having dropped the sprogs off with Phil... And we can crack on with clearing the nursery. I'm going to take before and after pics as well and if I get the chance I might go down to the DIY shop and buy some tester paints. I think they're only about £1 each? Not sure.... I have changed my mind on the theme in Lacey Rose's room. I can't afford my dream Unicorn theme anymore, so now I've changed it to the much cheaper Butterflies and Fairies theme. Bit sad about it but never mind. Butterflies and Fairies just aren't the same as Unicorns but I suppose they're close enough and a lot cheaper to do so I don't really mind!