I feel like I'm back in the 2ww - spending too much time interpreting all the *signs* and what they may or may not mean. Is this back spasm the beginning of labor? What about this ache, this cramp, this BH? I also spend far too much time eagerly looking for a little blood tinged mucus because then that could be my mucus plug and the beginning of something!!
Bottom line is that whatever I was feeling yesterday has gone away. It was probably just fatigue and maybe a little dehydration.
Guess this baby wants to keep cooking! True labor seems so far, far away at this point. Its funny, because very early on in my pg I thought I would deliver the last week of June. Well, here we are, its the last week of June and there is nothin goin on...
At any rate this baby is coming soon one way or another... I'm ready.. Come on' baby!
So many ladies on my birth board are having babies already or are just about to and it isn't even July yet! And here I am with no impending labor on the horizon..
On my walk to work this morning I felt like there was a knife slicing through my bladder. Or some other organ deep within the nether region. It was a strange and not very pleasant sensation, one I haven't felt before.
I have my weekly ob visit tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. I don't want another internal only to find out that there is been no progress and I'm certainly not interested in my ob reminding me once again about my big baby and my "measuring large for dates" fundal height.
I find myself starting to get rather impatient and I have to keep reminding myself that anything could happen at any time...
ooh, there's that knife feeling again... could it be the beginning of something?
Had my weekly ob visit. Nothing to report. Baby's head still not engaged in my pelvis, no dilation, no effacement. Blah Blah. But hey, my bp was 98/62 and I didn't gain any weight!
We're still in a wait and see mode. She won't even consider inducing me at this time. Which is a good thing. Obviously my body isn't ready. So next week I'll have another u/s and plan to go to my 39w appt. Unless I go into labor between now and then.. but I'm not holding my breath.
Afterward I ran into one of the ladies in my Bradley class on the street. She is 2 days behind me. We both have our weekly visits on Friday. Today she found out she is a fingertip dilated and her doctor thinks she may even go by next week. Lucky for her!!
Born July 3, 2006, 7:52pm
8 pounds 7 ounces
20 1/2 inches
On July 3rd (38w4d) my water broke around 2:00 am. DH and I went in to the hospital around 6:30. Everyone was content to let me labor on my own w/out IVs, pit, etc for pretty much the whole day. Upon arrival I was 1cm, got the heparin lock, got my round of antibiotics (I was GBS +) and started walking the stairs and would come back to my room every so often so they could hook up the fetal monitor. They were pretty flexible for most of the day and were respectful of our wishes to go natural. That was up until about 4-5pm when I was still 3 cm dilated and had had no progression for quite some time. That's when I got the whole spiel about being on the clock, the risk of infection, my water breaking, being GBS + etc and how the OB wanted to start using pitocin to move things along. We finally consented.
Prior to the introduction of pit I was laboring just fine. I was managing the pain with all the techniques and felt strong. But once they started pitocin it all went to downhill. Pit is EVIL. I labored on pit for an additional 2 hours or so without drugs but it became a hell I could no longer bear. Especially once I heard I was still 3 cm at around 7pm. At that point I lost all my coping mechanisms and started yelling for an epidural. I was so overwhelmed by the pain that everything that happened after is a total blur.
After about 45 minutes of the epi I was at 6 1/2 centimeters and the baby's head was in an awkward position but descending. Then shortly thereafter my room was suddenly overwhelmed by people. The baby's heartbeat went down into the 50s and stayed there. They had me moving around and were shaking my belly trying to see if maybe he had just compressed his cord but the heartbeat just stayed low. Then I hear a comment about too much blood and then within minutes I was rushed to the operating room for the c-section. At first they were going to do it w/ the epi that I had in and then for reasons that are still unclear they decided to do a general anesthesia. Yep, I was out cold for the birth! Fortunately Caleb was born with no problems at all and they gave him immediately to DH. I, of course, was out for another hour and when I woke up was so out of it and disconnected. Not the way one wants to greet their child for the fist time!. The final diagnosis was that I had a placental abruption.
We asked the doc if the pitocin could have caused the abruption and he basically said there was no way to know for sure. He gave me the whole list of risk factors for placental abruption and with the exception of my age had none of them. I guess abruptions can happen suddenly even when there are no risk factors but I can't help but wonder if it wasn't in fact the pitocin. The Saturday evening before my water broke, DH and I went to see Superman and were in two near car accidents on the way. I felt something going on during the movie.. perhaps it was the beginning of my water to break or the beginning of an abruption and the pit hastened it? Maybe its just a coincidence? I can speculate all I want but at the end of the day there is probably no way for us to ever know for sure why I had an abruption. I just feel really lucky that the Dr acted when he did.. if he had waited too much longer who knows what would have happened!
This is about as far as possible from the natural childbirth we envisioned and worked for all these weeks! But whaddya gonna do? I have a healthy, happy baby boy who breastfeeds like a champ! I was really worried about the b'feeding given all the drama that surrounded the birth but after a few stops and starts he is doing just fine.
He lost close to 10% of his birthweight and one of the lactation consultants was pushing formula supplementation on me. I was really hesitant because 1) his meconium was transitioning, 2) he was having ample poops and pees and 3) my milk was JUST coming in. In the end I did give him about 20 ccs of formula by cup but when I got home, I just trusted my instincts and booby fed him. So he was born on a Monday at 8pd7oz. By Friday at discharge he was 7pd10oz, by the following Monday at his first Pedi's visit he was 8pd3oz! And today he was up to 8pd 15 1/2 oz!! Woohoo! I seem to be blessed with an ample milk supply and for that I am extremely grateful. His latch could still be better but so far so good... though I do suspect a case of thrush coming on.
Its so hard to believe that my ttc/pg journey has come to a close. It was 2 years ago this month that I went off of bcp for the first time. I never dreamed the journey would take the twists and turns that it did but I couldn't imagine life without my little guy. He was worth the wait!
My fellow Bradley-ite, the one who was due two days after me had her baby. She is in NICU. They don't know what the problem is with the baby. She has poor muscle tone and breathing/heart problems. They are now suspecting a chromosomal problem and are doing tests. I just hope and pray this baby will be ok. I can't stop thinking about her and the baby and I feel like such an a$$ feeling bad about my own birth/labor when I have my handsome, healthy boy to cuddle at the end of the day. Puts it all into perspective... Stay strong little Claire!