well today has been better the yesterday...
Last night we were out and all of a sudden i was feeling crampy...i now know it was BH...i couldnt even eat...the ome to find out...if this couple (due in april) have a boy they plan n using the boy name we had picked out...o boy that got to me...then she tells me that she might not be able to go to my baby shower...which has been planned forever...w/e i dont care at this point
well after coming home and being in pain and having my feelings crushed...i start bawling...it was about 12.30 am and i had to work this morning...blah...i was crying over everything...i think with everything the bh was my last straw...i dont wanna be here at future in-laws house...
after S.O and i having our own place for 2 years then resorting to moving to his parents house kills me...weve been here about 3 weeks i wanna say and its hell...we r paying $300.00 a month (not counting the 200.00 discount they are recieving a month from S.O employee discount) for one room that still has all Future mil things in the closet and room itself plus we buy our own food...so theres no room to even set up any baby items like her bassinet i just bought and i pay 100.00 a month for a storage unit to hold all of our furniture from our two bedroom home...it kills me to be here...just thoughts that are killing me
1: constantly being under there supervison like a child
2: being told i "have to " go for a walk everyday
3: the fact "my" room isnt my room at all
4: My child will not have her own nursey
5: being told what i can and cant eat
6: since day one i wasnt eating there food i was only eating what i bought yet all the food i buy seems to disappear ($5 in ice cream, $5 box of cereal, and any snack) im now storing the snacks in out tiny room
7: the fact they keep locking my dog in the room for no reason w/o food or water
8: my 12lbs dog gets yelled at daily because there 75lbs dog tries humping him
im sure theres more that ill add later...i just need to get some of them out
now i dont have a car...the week before we moved in my car died and it'd be a waste to fix so right now im "winging" rides from work...(even tho that was the reason S.O gave me as to y we had to move here instead of my moms house)
p.s i swear if fmil says one more thing about us moving to the unfinished room in the basement ones the baby is born and leaving the baby up stairs with her ill scream....
i just need to keep telling myself this is all for the baby...if S.O wouldnt have dug himself suck a hole of debt my child would have everythig i want for her...
this is just ramblings i am now going to repost about my baby herself