Since I posted last in October, I have quit my job and am now a full time Mom. Emma is now 7 months old. Ethan is doing well in school, and I am depressed. I can't help it. I know I have a lot to be happy about. I love my kids very very much. I am just depressed and I can't put my finger on exactly why. Besides me not working is really putting a burden on the pocket book. Aaron and I had a huge fight yesterday.

I was hospitalized last month for an illness that I thought was gonna kill me. Vomiting, diareaha, I was very dehydrated. Fever, low blood pressure. They don't know what exactly was wrong, just said virus. I spent two nights and three days there. I am much much better now.

Two weeks later I went in and saw a dr I don't usually see. He took out the doppler and couldn't find the heartbeat. Did it again with another doppler, still nothing. Got out an ancient ultrasound machine and said there it is but didn't count the beats. I didn't think about it at the time, and yes I am a worry wart, but I swear the baby didn't move. He didn't seem worried, said come back at the end of the month. This Saturday I am having a 3D ultrasound to see the sex, will be almost 17 weeks. So I will feel better seeing him move then. Guess I will update more then. Gotta go get Emma, she is waking up from her nap.[/quote]