Well I have decided to start a journal since I was not diligent in doing so with my beautiful little girl. Kaitlyn is only 9 months and I can not remember my pregnancy with her (at least not in detail). So as I sit at work on nightshift I am worried about everything, but mostly the fact that I have no symptoms....a little tired but that is normal for a full time mom and soldier. I have felt some tummy "yuck" but nothing significant, but I was blessed to not be sick with DD either. Maybe I am just lucky.
I have my first OB appt on Halloween at 1pm. I am seeing Army docs this time, that will be a change, not sure if it is a good one either.
I POAS on Saturday the 21st of October and just like with Kaitlyn I knew the moment AF did not arrive. Did the lab work on Thursday and made my OB appt. Keeping in under wraps is not an option in the Army (for obvious reasons)
I have so much going on in my head right now, DH and I have been married almost 8 years and have recently decided that I should think about getting out of the Army. I will work (for financial and personal reasons) but the idea of leaving my baby/babies is not something I wish to ever have to really face. So to be fair to myself, DH and our family I really think I have to start thinking about taking the pregnancy chapter.
So much going on and I am on nights, too much time to think. UGH!
I just hope that my lack of symptoms is a sign of a fun and easy PG just like with POO (my DD) and not something horrible which is of course all the horrible things that are going through my head.
Going to attempt to do some work ..... will be back soon.
Well today has been alright, I woke up made some spaghetti for DH to eat while I am at work tonight, he called around 645 pm and he and my POO were playing and I could hear her laughing and playing, she was having so much fun. She is such a wonderful baby, I am so blessed. She came to the phone and I started talking to her and she said MAMA I love that she knows who I am even over the phone.
I feel fine today other than being tired. (normal even despite being PG) I am always tired. DH put POO to bed and now I am at work wishing I was home on the couch with DH and DD. I hate my job, not really my job but the sacrifices that I am making to do it. I am still set on getting out of the Army and I talked to the HR rep today she said I may be able to start with them prior to the holidays. That would be great. I miss my DD so much when I have to work nights.
Still no sickeness or symptoms, tommorrow is my first appt and I hope all goes well. Keeping my fingers crossed that I am as lucky with this PG as I was with DD. DH just says "it will be ok, it has to" he just knows that we are going to be okay...I wish I were as confident as he always is. I really hope it is a boy. I still do not really care, but a boy would just feel so right and give me a sense of completion, silly I know.
I love the fact that Kaitlyn is going to be a BIG sister, she loves to play with other babies. I just hope and pray all goes smoothly.