I finally have a minute to start my pregnancy journal. I didn't keep a journal with my first pregnancy, so I really want to try to keep a consistent one this time.
On December 18th, 2010 impatience got the better of me and I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was only 10dpo, and this was mid-afternoon, so not even close to FMU, so I wasn't really expecting to see anything. I figured if there was a line, it would be really, really faint.
So I set the stick down and took the dogs out. I went back in to the bathroom three minutes later and there was a very definite line- no squinting necessary! It surprised me how dark it was! DH and I were very excited. With our daughter, we were not trying to get pregnant, so I definitely hyperventilated when I took the test and it turned up positive! It was nice this time around to not be caught completely off guard!
This was our first cycle TTC #2, so we feel very blessed that it happened so quickly for us. My EDD is August 31, which means I'll have the baby in September, if this pregnancy is anything like my last one! DD's birthday is October 2nd, so they'll be just about 3 years apart. We were planning on 3-4 years apart, so that's pretty much perfect. Definitely hoping for another girl, but a boy would be a blessing to our family as well!
As far as symptoms go, I had some cramping early on (before testing) which was the same as my first pregnancy. I definitely noticed increased CM. I've been having some MS in the evenings, which was definitely made worse by a stomach virus that our whole family got over Christmas. Ugh. I've definitely had fatigue this time around which I didn't have with my daughter. Although I'm sure it's complicated by the fact that I can't seem to get well- first the stomach virus, now I have bronchitis. It has been an insanely busy holiday season for us, so I'm hoping that January will bring some down time so I get some rest and get healthy! I also REALLY need to get back in the gym!
Although the delivery is a long way off, I am thinking that I really want to try for a VBAC. DD was an emergency c-section due to fetal distress. And I do mean emergency. Her heartbeat was almost non-existent, I had 15 people RUNNING my bed down the hallway of L&D, and they put me under general anesthesia in order to get her out ASAP. It was terrifying, to say the least. My main goal for this delivery is just to be awake for it. It was really devastating to miss out on that moment, although of course I am thankful that they did what they had to do in order to get her out alive. Her one minute APGAR score was a 2. Her five minute score was a 9, so thankfully she bounced right back. I am hoping that this second birth will be a calmer experience, among other things.
So here's hoping for a healthy pregnancy and baby, and a wonderful, healing delivery at the end of it!
I have spent the better part of the last two days in bed. Between the morning sickness, bronchitis, and fatigue I can hardly stand up. So I took advantage of DH being home and let him take care of DD so I could get some rest. As of tomorrow he's back at work (after being off over the holidays) and I will be on my own! I'm a little nervous about that. I'm planning to get out of the house to try to make the time pass quickly and keep my mind off how I'm feeling. I definitely need to grocery shop, and I'd really like to get to the gym (not expecting to be able to do a serious workout, but even just walking on the treadmill would be good). I hate feeling like this. I'm remembering why I did not enjoy being pregnant last time. I'm hoping that the morning sickness goes away earlier than it did with DD (18 weeks). It definitely started sooner. I need to call and make an appointment with the midwives tomorrow. I will definitely be asking for an anti-nausea medication. If they won't give it to me, I'm calling my FIL (who is an OB) and getting him to prescribe it for me. With DD I didn't take anything- just toughed it out. I will not be doing that this time around. Not when I have a two-year-old to take care of!
I am feeling SOOOO nauseous today. Nauseous, and hungry at the same time. Gross. I managed to get up, get DD, get her breakfast, take a shower, get dressed, get DD dressed, get the grocery list, get coats on and get out the door with DD... only to realize that DH had taken the car seat with him to work. It was in his car instead of mine because we had taken my car in for a tune up a few days before, and had forgotten for switch it back. So he had to come home from work to bring me the car seat. DD and I played outside while we waited for him. It's cold, but not windy and the sun was shining, so it was probably good for us to get some fresh air.
Once we had the car seat, we headed to the grocery store and got the shopping done. While at the store, every smell was making me even more nauseous, and then I randomly had an uncontrollable craving for cheetos (not something I normally eat), so I bought a bag... I have to say, it kind of hit the spot. With DD, I had tons of food aversions, but the only craving I had was for mexican food. Last night, I had an intense craving for our favorite mexican place, but I didn't want to spend the money to go out to eat. Let me just add that DD loved the mexican food while I was pregnant with her, and still loves it! Anyway, the cheetos thing was weird.
So I'm definitely wearing maternity pants today. I'm not even six weeks yet. I did the same thing with DD. It has nothing to do with the size of the pants- I haven't gained any weight yet and my clothes all fit fine, I just absolutely cannot stand the feeling of a waistband. It makes the nausea 10x worse. So, maternity pants it is. I attempted to put my regular pants on first, and let me tell you- it was SUCH a relief to take them off and put the maternity pants on!
If the nausea continues to be this bad, I don't know how I'm going to keep the pregnancy a secret until we hear the heartbeat. I may be forced into telling people early. I really would like to wait at least a few more weeks, though.
I attempted to call the midwives today, and even though I called during their office hours, I got a message that the office was closed. Awesome. So I emailed them. I just want to know if they're taking new patients and if I can set up a consultation. Also if they take our insurance, because if not... I will be going back to my OB. I'm about 99% sure they take our insurance. Hopefully I'll be able to get in touch with them soon. If not, I'm calling my FIL and getting him to prescribe me something for the nausea.
I'm feeling really frustrated today, for a variety of reasons, and I don't think the pregnancy hormones are helping. I'm out of patience with a lot of things. We made an offer on a house before Christmas, and we've been countering back and forth ever since. The seller's agent has been really unprofessional right from the start, and I think it's getting worse. As of right now, we're waiting to hear back on our counter offer that supposedly expired on Jan. 1st. We found out on Jan. 3rd that he hadn't even given the offer to the seller yet. I'm so fed up with this guy! Putting our house on the market, buying a new house (which would be in need of repairs and renovations... it's a fixer-upper) and moving while pregnant is all pretty darn stressful. It would be great if we could just an answer one way or the other. If we're not moving, great. If we are moving, great. I just really need to know what's happening. DH is moving ahead as if we've gotten the house- he reserved a storage space, is getting boxes, and is wanting me to start packing. But I'm not willing to turn my life upside down unless I have some concrete information that we actually are moving!
In other news, I'm still nauseous, DD is being a pill, and I am trying desperately to be patient with her. She was up in the middle of the night last night, for awhile (unusual for her), so because of that she was cranky before nap. Then she got woken up from nap early, so now she's cranky because of that! I'm debating whether or not I should try to get her to go down for a second nap. This is miserable for everyone involved. What am I going to do when I have two little ones?!?! Thank goodness Catie will be almost three then. She has gotten easier the older she gets. I'm hoping that continues. And she is usually a doll... today is just a rough day.
I heard back from the midwives that their office is re-opening today after the holidays, but I'm still waiting to hear back from the lady who schedules the consultations. I just want to get in and get my prenatal care started so I can get something for the nausea. I cannot keep this up- not with a two-year-old to take care of. The nausea is so bad that I can't sleep through the night- it wakes me up at least a couple of times.
Finally got an appointment with the midwives today! Of course it's not for another 3 weeks, but I did get the midwife I wanted (it's a big practice, and they're busy). Pretty excited about that. I texted my FIL to get a prescription for anti-nausea meds, since I don't think I can make it three weeks until I see my midwife. It's been particularly bad today... I spent a couple hours camped out in front of the toilet, with my laptop, reading the forums! DD was running in and out of the bathroom. She was slightly freaked out that mommy was on the bathroom floor. I tried to be as reassuring as I could. At one point I was hanging over the toilet with DD on my lap, and both of our (large) dogs trying to get onto my lap! This was much easier the first time around when I could just come home from work and be miserable without having to take care of a two-year-old. Also the nausea, while pretty bad, wasn't as bad as this. I realize that all I'm talking about in this journal is nausea, but it is pretty much consuming my life right now. Can't wait until 20 weeks. The nausea will (hopefully) be gone, we'll know if we're having a boy or a girl, and we'll have told everyone so I won't have to hide it any more, and I can unashamedly wear maternity pants!
So we *almost* have a signed contract on a house as of today. The seller's agent is pretty much beyond horrible, so trying to get any paperwork or any signatures from them is next to impossible. Our agent is amazing and has been taking the initiative and doing everything she can to get stuff done. It's been a pretty frustrating process. I am definitely nervous about selling our current house (it's a great house, the market just really stinks right now), and I'm a little nervous about the new house (it's a total renovation project). But I am trying to trust in God and really not be anxious about it at all. Considering that I am a major worrier by nature, I'm doing pretty well with it. It's crazy to think about all the potential changes that could happen in 2011. New house, new baby... who knows what else!
I have to say, if we do end up moving, I will miss our current house a lot, but I'm excited for the space of the new house. Our current house isn't small (2300 square feet), and I LOVE it, but the new house is almost 3000 square feet. It would be pretty awesome. My parents renovated and added on to the house I grew up in, and we lived in the house throughout the entire process, so I know the drill and I know I could do it again, even with small children. If we could do all the renovations right away I would be a little more excited about it, but we will have to save up, do some, save some more, do some more, etc. Which is fine... I can live with old and ugly for awhile as long as it's functional, but it does make it a little harder to leave my current, lovely, move-in ready house. But it is in a much better neighborhood and school district. The neighborhood we're in now isn't bad, but this is a chance for us to move into one of the best/safest neighborhoods in the area. Anything other than a fixer-upper wouldn't be in our price range, so we're willing to go the renovation route to get into the neighborhood/school district that we want.
So that's what's going on here... barfing... maybe moving... definitely getting the current house ready to go on the market... trying to figure out how I'm going to do that with the barfing... etc. etc. Can't wait to be far enough long to tell our friends! I may have to break down and tell at least one sooner so I can get some help with DD if the morning sickness persists and medication doesn't help. Fingers crossed that my FIL gets back to me soon with a prescription!!!
I'm having a tough time getting out of bed this morning... I'm lying here with my laptop. I can hear DD playing in her crib so I know I need to get up and get her. It's hard when I know that as soon as I get up and try to eat something, the nausea will kick in.
Here's hoping today is a better day and I can be a better mommy... I feel awful about not being able to play with my little one because I'm camped out in the bathroom trying not to lose everything I've eaten. I think I'm going to try to take her to the gym today. She loves to play in the nursery there, and I think getting to walk on the treadmill would do me good.
The pregnancy hormones are really throwing me for a loop. I don't usually have a lot of big emotional ups and downs, but right now I feel like I'm on a roller coaster! Ugh. Totally feeling depressed this morning for absolutely no reason at all. Going to shake it off and think of all my blessings! Also, realizing that it's most likely hormone related definitely helps me put things in perspective.
I don't have much to update here, other than the fact that I'm still REALLY nauseous and the meds aren't helping. We're getting ready to put our house on the market. I think I'm kind of in denial that all of this is happening at once! Hopefully once we get our house ready and actually on the market, things will calm down a bit... for a little while! Hoping the morning sickness goes away soon and doesn't last as long as it did with DD!
Snow day today! And it's actually a decent amount of snow. Well, it's not what I would have considered a decent amount of snow when I was growing up, but for the area I live in now, it is. It never ceases to amaze me how the tiniest amount of snow (and sometimes just the forecast of snow) can shut down this entire city. Growing up, we had to practically get a blizzard in order for school to be canceled! But, that was up north where snow is expected. We've had an unusual amount of snow here already this year. I think it's fun . DH gets the day off work... I'm not kidding about the whole city shutting down! Of course he went back to bed while I'm dealing with the dogs, DD, and particularly bad morning sickness this morning. When he gets up I'm going to have him take DD out to play in the snow.
Today I tried not taking my anti-nausea meds to see what would happen. I felt pretty good in the morning, and then made up for it by feeling absolutely horrible all afternoon/evening. I am praying that this does not last as long as it did with DD!
I packed away a lot of my "regular" clothes today. Some of my pants were starting to get tight, and even if they'd fit perfectly I couldn't wear them because the waistband makes me even more sick to my stomach. So away they went. I'd rather not see them, reminding me of how much weight I'm putting on! Lol!
The weather has been doing crazy things here, which means that the whole city has been doing crazy things. Today the roads were perfectly clear (although there is snow everywhere else), but they still canceled school, businesses opened late, and I saw a million posts on facebook about people who were too scared to leave their houses because there might be black ice! We got two inches of snow. The roads are clear. And why do people go crazy and buy out the bread and milk from the grocery stores whenever there is snow in the forecast? What are you going to do with milk if the power goes out? I'll say it again... we got two inches and the roads are clear! You are not going to starve, people! I don't think I will ever understand this, no matter how long I live here. That's my snow soapbox for the day.
I don't think I have much else to say on the pregnancy front. I'll be seven weeks tomorrow, which means two more weeks until my first appointment with the midwives. That will be exciting. It feels like it's a million years away. Especially when I consider everything we're trying to accomplish in those two weeks... like put our house on the market. Yikes. Okay, going to bed now.
I'm really struggling. It's hard enough being this sick all the time, but when you add trying to take care of a two-year-old and trying to get ready to move and put our house on the market on top of it, it's too much.
DH is frustrated and overwhelmed because I'm not able to help the way I would usually be able to. Of course he understands, but it puts a huge amount of stress on him, and he's at work all day, so there isn't much time for packing. I hate the strain this is putting on our marriage. He keeps telling me everything will be okay. I'm sure it will be, we just need to get through the next three weeks or so.
In addition to all this, I started trying to read the healing thread on the natural birth board (probably the 3rd attempt I've made) and I couldn't do it. I just started bawling reading everyone's stories. I know I still have healing to do from DD's birth, but I don't think I can deal with it today. I've come a long way in healing from the traumatic way she entered the world, and thankfully I have plenty of time before this next one arrives to continue dealing with it. I don't have to think about it today. Today I just need to focus on one minute at a time, and try to get a lot of packing done so DH isn't completely overwhelmed when he gets home.
A good friend of mine was supposed to come play with DD today so I could pack without her "help," but her heat went out so she is home waiting for the repairman. She is going to try to come tomorrow instead. I don't know how everything is going to get done in time. I feel like I'm drowning. There's pretty much no hope of being able to keep my head above water.
DD is resisting taking her nap today, but she is playing quietly and happily in her crib, so I guess I'll take what I can get. I'd better go so I can eat lunch and take a shower before I have to get the munchkin up. Here's hoping she decides to actually go to sleep, otherwise this afternoon is going to be a nightmare.