The last several days have been SO crazy and busy!
The big news is... it's a BOY! And most importantly, everything looked good and he is healthy! I was a little disappointed about not having another girl, but I'm excited that I'll get to have both experiences- a son and a daughter. I was so relieved to see that he looked healthy on the ultrasound. For some reason, the morning of my appointment I started to get nervous that they'd find something wrong. It was great to see a healthy little guy.
On Friday I dragged DH out of bed bright and early so that we could go to the big consignment sale. He's never come with me before, but I needed to look for a swing, a bedding set, and clothes, and I couldn't figure out how I could do all that by myself... with a 2 1/2 year old in tow. So he had had DD in the ergo and got the swing, and then watched her while I looked at the other stuff. I found a bedding set! It's not my absolute favorite, but it's blue and brown (which is what I wanted to do the nursery in) and it was $60 including a mobile... usually just the mobile is $60. I got a couple things for DD, and then some boy clothes. I didn't get too much in the clothes department, because I know I'll be getting hand-me-downs from friends... and there's talk of a baby shower .
We had a party to make the big announcement on Saturday. It was a lot of fun. Almost everyone we invited was able to come, so that was great. The weather was ridiculously warm. I take that back. It was ridiculously hot. High of 91 degrees- a record for the month of April! But we had enough shade that it was nice being outside. It was a lot of fun.
In the midst of all this, our house is still a construction zone. I was so glad that it didn't rain on Saturday... eventually we'll be able to host large parties inside the house and have tons of room, but right now only the kitchen and family room are even partly functional, so it would have been a tight squeeze. I'm trying to set up a time to get together with my potential doula this week, and I have a midwife appointment on Wednesday. My midwife emailed me the day after my ultrasound to tell me that she had reviewed the report and that everything looked great. I appreciated that she took the time to do that!
So I've had a couple of scares. I had some actual painful contractions that lasted for a few hours. I had my phone ready to call my midwife, but I ended up not calling because they were decreasing in intensity and getting slightly further apart each time. I tried to just rest and stay calm, but I'm definitely going to talk to my midwife about it when I see her tomorrow.
The other scare- last night I found a deer tick on me... attached. It was still REALLY tiny, so I don't think it had been on long, and they say it needs to feed for 24 to 36 hours before it transmits Lyme disease. But it still FREAKED me out. And now I'm scared that I didn't check Caitrin thoroughly enough and she got bitten too, and I just don't know about it. I'm probably being paranoid. I'm going to talk to my midwife about the tick bite as well. Although there's really nothing they can do unless I start developing symptoms. I'm allergic to the only antibiotic that they use as a preventative treatment. I'm also allergic to the main antibiotics they use to treat the disease. I'm sure they have a back up treatment for people who are allergic (if I were to be diagnosed), but the fact that I'm allergic to the main treatment just makes me that much more nervous about it. I need to just put it out of my mind until I speak to my midwife. Worrying about it isn't going to change anything.
I just wish that something about this pregnancy could be easy... even if it were easy just for about ten minutes or so. I know I shouldn't complain because a lot of women have a much worse time than I do, but I just feel like it's been one thing after another, and I would like to relax for about a second. I focus on relaxing all the time because I know it's what's best for the baby, but I would love to be genuinely relaxed... without trying. But there has just been so much going on the last few months. It's all going to be fine, but I just feel like I'm close to the edge and it doesn't take much to push me over. I am soooooo exhausted. I just can't get enough sleep no matter how early I go to bed. And DD still not sleeping past 5am is not helping me. I try to lie down during her nap time, but with the workmen here and the construction noise, I can't really sleep. But it's not for too much longer. And pretty soon I am going to have more live-able rooms and a new laundry room with a new washer and dryer! I'm definitely trying to focus on the positive, but I really wish I had some energy.
I met with my potential doula yesterday, which was great. I'm about 99% sure we're going to hire her. I just need DH to read over the material she gave me and give his okay (he's really okay with whatever I think will help me during labor, but I want him to be a part of the decisions). Her husband and mine used to work at the same company, and she has attended the births of several of my friends' babies. Everyone raves about her. I really appreciated having a support person with me when DD was born (in addition to DH), and I think it's even more important for me this time, since I'm planning a VBAC and have that little bit of doubt and fear still in my mind. She's attended hundreds of births, including quite a few VBACS, so I think that will be very comforting to me if (or when) I'm feeling unsure at any time during labor.
I had a prenatal appointment today, which was very good. My little guy was jumping around and making it hard for my midwife to find the heartbeat- the doppler got a few good kicks before she found it! Lol! Heartbeat was good- low 150's, and I'm measuring right on schedule. I talked to my midwife about both the contractions that I had and the tick bite, so I'm feeling better about it all since I've discussed it with her. We think the contractions were probably caused by me being a little dehydrated, which is obviously no big deal. I just need to remember to drink more water now that the weather is getting hotter. As far as the tick bite, she agreed that I should probably be okay because I found the tick right away, and that we'll just wait and see if I develop any symptoms. She said that if I did contract Lyme disease, I'll probably start exhibiting symptoms sooner rather than later because of the pregnancy- my body is more on the lookout for those types of things. So, we're playing the waiting game about that, but at the moment I have a peace about it. No sense worrying until I know there's something to worry about!
In other news, I am currently enjoying a little bit of relative peace and quiet. Construction noise is at its usual level, but DD is at mother's day out, so I'm relaxing while I have the chance! I have been so unbelievably exhausted lately. Getting out of bed take a herculean effort. I feel so badly for my daughter- I just can't play with her the way she wants me to. All I want to do is sleep, all the time. Last night I went to bed (and I mean actually fell asleep) at about 8:30. DD is still doing this ridiculous waking up at 4am thing. I am SO ready for that to be over. She used to sleep until 7 or 7:30, every day! What happened to that? I'd even take 6 at this point. I'm tired of being tired! Lol! I desperately want to have some energy. I made a very simple dinner last night, and it took all of my determination to be able to stand up long enough to do it. I'm really glad that this is my last pregnancy. Pregnancy does not agree with me. I love it that I'm lying here typing this and feeling my little boy kick in my belly, but for me there's just so much more feeling icky than feeling good. But, I'm 20 weeks today! Yay!
I haven't been online as much the last several days. Just busy with everything going on at the house. The first round of renovations is almost done! Woohoo! At least the carpentry type work. There is still paint and carpet to go after that. But, it's great to feel like we're making progress. In fact, by Sunday, I should have an operational laundry room!!! So freaking excited about that. I have never been so excited about doing laundry in my life. They are coming to seal the grout/tile today, the door will be installed either Thursday or Friday (depending on when it arrives... it's ordered and we're just waiting for it), and my brother is coming to paint it on Saturday! Yay! Depending on when a few things come in (we're waiting on doors/chair rail/etc.) the carpenters will be done either Friday or Monday. Then my brother's painting company will come back in, and once they're done, we'll get carpet in the bonus rooms and the kids' bedrooms, and the indoor stuff for the first round of renovations will be done! We will still have the garage doors and the screened-in porch/deck to take care of, but that will be a lot easier to live with.
I'm excited to work on the nursery and DD's "big girl" room. I have definitely picked out paint colors for the nursery (brown with a couple of blue stripes), and I have the color for DD's room narrowed down to two choices. Depending on when the workmen show up today, I'm hoping to run over to the mall and pick up the rest of DD's bedding for her "big girl" bed. We're going to switch her over from the crib once the paint and carpet is done. I got the bedding for the nursery at a consignment sale, so that's ready to go. Finally getting closer to the fun part of renovating!
I'm feeling my little guy (or "baby brother" as he is known at the moment) move more and more. Although he is still definitely more laidback than Catie was at this point. I'm hoping that is true after he's born, too! Not that I don't enjoy Catie's personality, but I might not survive two like her .
I'm really proud of myself for making it to the gym three days this week. Other than the one time I went in January (when I threw up uncontrollably afterward) it was the first time I've gone in 3-4 months. When I'm not puking uncontrollably due to morning sickness, I like to go to the gym several times a week, and also ride my horse. When I was younger I was really into ballet too, so I've always been active. It has killed me to just sit around waiting for the morning sickness to go away (and to watch my thighs get bigger ). I'm really happy that I'm feeling well enough to start exercising again. I didn't do anything really strenuous (walked on the treadmill two days, and did the elliptical on the third day) but anything is better than just sitting on my couch, or not being able to get out of bed! Today I'm going to see my horse for the first time in months, and I'm SO excited. I've NEVER gone this long without seeing him/riding him before. EVER. With DD, I rode through the whole pregnancy (I rode the day before I went in to be induced with her) and I was back at the barn when she was five weeks old. This pregnancy has just been a lot more difficult, sickness-wise.
The house is coming along- it's exciting when they start to do the finish work. Yesterday the chair rail went up in the foyer, formal living room, and formal dining room. It looks great! The panel trim still needs to go up and then it all has to be painted, but I love seeing progress. Today my brother is coming to paint my laundry room! Then it will be done and I can actually use it!!!!!!
Yesterday I pulled out the few baby boy clothes that I have and looked at how tiny they are, and tried to imagine having a little baby again! Pretty crazy. I'm not looking forward to the lack of sleep, but I am looking forward to having another little one to snuggle. Not that I don't snuggle my daughter, but she's been so independent from day 1 that she was never super snuggly. Whenever she does want to snuggle, I drop whatever I'm doing and make the most of it! Last night we got into my bed together to read bed time stories and she was all snuggled up to me- it was really sweet.
We had a great Easter yesterday! Great service at church, and then brunch with friends. Today I am trying to come back to reality and get organized for the week. Difficult, when I don't know when any of the workmen are showing up to get stuff done on the house. The good news is, as soon as my brother can get here to do the second coat on the laundry room, we'll be able to get that up and running! Yay!
Right now I'm debating whether I want to go to the gym, or go to the park and take a walk. Either way I'll be getting in the exercise I want to do today, just can't decide which I want to do. But I need to do it soon! Maybe we'll use the walking path at the library. I'm trying to consolidate my trips/stay fairly close to home because gas prices are sky high. I'm thinking the walking path at the library might win out- it's closer than both the Y and the park. Other than that, we need to go grocery shopping, and I need to figure out something for dinner.
Baby boy is moving about the usual amount. He's so much more chill than DD was. I know I say that all the time, but it's just such a huge difference! DH still hasn't been able to feel him move/kick. He gave me one really hard kick this morning while I was still in bed- caught me by surprise! Yesterday my friend gave me a box of hand-me-down clothes, and I have more coming from another friend. This little guy will be all set for clothes!
Well, I need to make the grocery list and get a move on!
We're supposed to get severe weather tonight- tornado warnings and all that. I'm not a fan. We've had enough tornadoes already this spring. I'm really, really hoping that it either doesn't hit until morning, that it's not as bad as they think it's going to be, or that it misses us. The last thing I want to do is get up at 1am, get DD up, and go hide in the crawl space under the house. Not my idea of a good time.
Baby boy seems to be doing fine. He doesn't move anywhere near as much as DD did, so I have to pay attention when he does, but the movements are getting stronger. Hopefully DH will be able to feel him kick soon!
I have nothing much to say today. I'm exhausted. For no reason. Well, I guess the reason is that I'm pregnant. The fatigue is pretty overwhelming, but ANYTHING is better than the nausea and vomiting! I'm so glad that part is over. It took forever. All the baby stuff is coming together. I don't need much more, and I'm going to have a baby shower, most likely in June. I'm excited to get the kids' bedrooms renovated. That will be happening soon! Yay!
I'm struggling today. Last night DH and I had an argument/discussion about some of the renovations on the house. I know that we'll get it figured out and find a compromise that we can both live with, but I'm just frustrated. I had crazy dreams last night and then DD woke up (for the day) at 4am AGAIN. I just laid in bed crying because I couldn't go back to sleep even though I was exhausted, and I know that she'll be cranky because she's tired, but she's been refusing to nap lately, so by this afternoon we will both probably be in full out meltdown mode. I know it's terrible to expect the worst, and I'm trying not to, but we've just had so many days like this lately, and I'm just SO. TIRED. I didn't even want to get out of bed and deal with another day. But I did, and until now my kiddos have been trying to make me feel better. DD was sweet and gave me lots of hugs, and "baby brother" gave me some good kicks... I actually saw my belly move for the first time. But now DD is starting to melt down. So I'm feeding her an early lunch and *hoping* I can convince her to take a nap. If I can just get her to go to sleep she'll sleep for three hours, but getting her fall asleep has been next to impossible lately. I don't understand why. She's so tired, and she used to ask to take a nap. Now she just fights it. Oh well. I will put her down and take a shower whether she sleeps or not. Then I'll do some prep for dinner, and if she's not asleep I'll get her up and we'll take a walk or something. At least it's finally not raining so we can go outside today. Although it is REALLY muddy. But that's not such a big deal now that DH hooked up my washer and dryer last night! Hooray for the laundry room FINALLY being finished! I am really trying to snap out of my funk. I just feel like I need to sleep for a week.
I had typed this really long journal entry earlier today and then when I hit 'submit reply' I completely lost it. So here's the summary:
DH finally felt baby boy kicking!
Crazy, unexpected, bad house stuff happening that we are trying to deal with
I moved too much furniture/boxes yesterday and hurt my back
My back is still sore, but feeling better today
There was a lot more detail, but that's the gist of it, and I'm definitely not typing it all out again!
I had a great Mother's Day weekend! DH let me sleep in both days, and he (and DD of course) got me a 90 minute prenatal massage for my gift! So excited about that! It's scheduled for Wednesday while DD is at mother's day out. On Saturday we went out to the barn together, so that was fun. My horse behaved himself and was very sweet! On Sunday I REALLY slept in (something that's pretty rare for me). DH watched DD for most of the day so I actually got some time to myself, which was amazing. I had some prints done at Walgreen's and ran to Michael's for some scrapbooking stuff so I could work on that. I hadn't been able to for months because it had been all packed up (and in the storage space while we were trying to sell our house) so I enjoyed that. It was just a nice quiet weekend and it was so great to have some time to do whatever I wanted to do... a rare thing for a mommy of small children!
Baby boy has been bouncing around quite a bit, so I think everything is good with him. My next appointment is May 18th (I think, anyway... I should probably check!). On one hand, it's nice to have appointments farther apart than the ones I had with DD, because I don't have to worry about finding childcare as often, but on the other hand it was nice to hear DD's heartbeat more frequently. But now that I'm at the point where I feel him move several times every day, it's not such a big deal.