Today is one of those days where I wish I could just sleep and sleep and sleep! I don't seem to get the bursts of energy that some women get during pregnancy. Right now I'm procrastinating making dinner because standing up is way too much effort... lol!
Baby has been pretty quiet today, but gives me an occasional poke/kick to let me know he's there. I've officially lost track of how far along I am. Apparently I need to take a look at my ticker. I think I'm 29 weeks and 1 day, but I'm really not sure. Pregnancy brain. Well, DH just got home so I'd better go. My plan is to go to bed early tonight!
Well it turns out that I DID pass the 3 hour test, which is definitely a relief. Apparently I just can't pass the screening to save my life. I have now had my blood drawn ten times for gestational diabetes (over both of my pregnancies), but have never actually had it. So annoying. Why can't I just pass the freaking screening?! I hate how every time I do the screening they tell me "this should be the last blood draw for the pregnancy" and then I inevitably need about 25 more. Okay, slight exaggeration . I just really hate having my blood drawn, and I don't react well to it- it doesn't mesh well with my low blood pressure situation.
Anyway, I'm happy to say that we're over that hurdle. So I really just need baby to go head down and stay that way (he might be there now, it's hard to tell sometimes). I really, really need to find a way to exercise more. I'm completely fine as far as weight gain goes in my midwife's point of view, but I'm above where I want to be, and I hate how big my thighs and butt are right now!!! It's just been really hard to get to the gym on a regular basis because of the renovations on the house, and the fact that I'm totally exhausted all the time! If I can do better for the remainder of the pregnancy, I'll be happy. It's more of just getting in/staying in the habit of working out than anything else. I know that will help me a lot after the baby's born, if not before.
We had a nice Father's Day here. I had Catie make DH a card, which she was very excited about. DH took her out for doughnuts, so they had some daddy/daughter time. We went to church, and DD and I took a nice long nap afterwards. We had some nice play time this evening, I called my dad (and Catie talked to him too), and now she's in bed. DH is playing a video game and I'm messing around on my laptop. Tomorrow, it's back to work! I need to clean the house (as always), grocery shop, and try to knock something else off my list of freezer meals. Last week I did two kinds of soup and pumpkin muffins, so that's good. Little by little we are getting ready for this baby!
I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed with the list of everything I want to do before the baby comes. Of course it's not a big deal if it doesn't get finished, but I'd like it to! I really want to have some more meals in the freezer, so I'm focusing on that. I've made good progress already, so that's good. If I can find the energy today, I'm going to do another batch of homemade bread/rolls and a lasagna. But DD was up super early again, so I'm not really feeling it. I need a nap! I did get the dusting and vacuuming done, so that's good.
Not much to report, except that I feel like I'm suddenly HUGE, and wondering how I'm going to make it another 10-12 weeks without turning into a blimp. Yikes. The funny part is, when I took DD to the pediatrician yesterday (turns out the cough is just allergies) our doctor tentatively asked me if I'm expecting. Obviously I said yes and he said he hates to ask in case someone isn't. I told him that we've definitely passed the point obviousness and not to worry. I couldn't believe that he wasn't sure! But I guess I was sitting down, so maybe it was harder to tell because of that.
My hip is absolutely KILLING me today, and my hormones are making me wacky. So pretty much your standard day for pregnancy . I think it would help if I could sleep through the night, but between my hip, having to pee, and DD deciding that sleeping through the night is for the birds, it just isn't happening. Oh well. I keep reminding myself that before I know it my kids will be big and I'll miss these days! I try to enjoy snuggling with her at 3am no matter how exhausted I am, because I know there will come a day when I won't be the center of her little world anymore, and I want to enjoy it while it lasts, although I'd be okay if it wasn't EVERY night!
I know this journal is about this pregnancy, but I just have to make note of two funny things DD did today. First, we were in McDonald's having lunch (soooo healthy, I know ) and there was a large family sitting near us, and they had a little baby. One of the grandmas/aunts/something along those lines got up to admire the baby, and was standing next to our table with her back to us. DD reached out (before I could stop her) and grabbed the lady's butt! I was totally mortified, and thought it was hilarious at the same time. Thankfully the lady realized it was a two-year-old who did and was very nice about it. She thought it was pretty funny. Oh my goodness. It makes you wonder what goes through their little two-year-old minds!
The other thing was, she was totally excited to take the allergy medicine the doctor prescribed for her. I think she thought it was going to taste like children's Tylenol (which she really likes). So I gave her the dose (which she took like a champ) and then I turned to face the counter to put the top back on the bottle and make sure that I put it away out of her reach. I turned back around to find her LICKING THE DISHTOWEL... I guess trying to get the taste of the medicine out of her mouth. Too funny. Anyway, those where the cute/funny/embarrassing two-year-old moments today. I need to remember those things instead of the temper tantrums when I start to get nervous about having number two!
I feel like I only use this journal to complain, but I'm really trying to keep a positive attitude in general, so I have to vent somewhere, and this seems to be the place.
WHAT a couple of days we have had. Nothing catastrophic, just a lot of smaller things that add up until you feel like you're going to lose your mind. For one thing, I haven't been feeling well. I'm still having allergy/cough issues, and I've started having more issues with low blood pressure/passing out. I need to talk to my midwife about that at my appointment this week. DD has been a bear about taking her cough medicine, and has just been really disobedient lately- just really testing me all the time. We got a new dishwasher to replace the other new one (that never worked), and now the replacement doesn't work either, so apparently there's a larger problem that no one seems to be able to figure out. Our dogs got sprayed by a skunk last night, and then this morning one of them escaped from the yard (he has NEVER gone through the electric fence before) which was horrible, but thankfully we found him. The other dog's collar isn't working right, so I don't know what is going on with all of that. TVA is supposed to be removing the mess of weeds/brush/etc. from under the power lines (there's an easement on our property) but they won't finish the job and we just keep calling and calling and calling and can't make any progress. And in the midst of this, we're still renovating so the house is still torn up and most of our stuff is still packed from when we moved... over three months ago now. I'm just feeling like I'm at the end of my rope. And this baby won't stay in a head down position, which is really starting to freak me out. I know that it's all going to be fine, one way or another, and I'm trying SO hard to keep a positive attitude and keep it all in perspective, but what I want to do is lie down on the floor and throw a screaming temper tantrum that would rival DD's. I know that this is a good opportunity to trust in God and work on being more patient, etc. I am choosing to go that route, but that doesn't mean the tantrum route doesn't still appeal to me . There are so many people around me who are really and truly suffering that I don't want to blow my little troubles out of proportion, but I am at the point where I could really use a little break. If TVA would come do what they're supposed to do, or if the dishwasher would just start working, I would feel a lot better.
I'm going to lose my mind if DD doesn't start sleeping through the night again soon. She's been getting up anywhere from 2am to 4am, and it's a rare occasion when she goes back to sleep. I don't know how she is pulling it off and still has energy to burn. Yesterday she only napped for 20 minutes and was still up for the day at 4:30!!! I can't keep up with this schedule, so something has got to give. I don't know what happened- she's always been such a great sleeper. I guess the temptation of being able to get out of bed if she wants to (now that she's in a big girl bed) is just too much for her. Ugh.
I think everything is fine pregnancy-wise. Baby's moving fine. I just suddenly feel huge, fat, and uncomfortable. But I guess that's par for the course. I just don't remember it kicking in this soon with DD (I'm 31 weeks and 1 day). I haven't been able to exercise much because of my low blood pressure issue, so I'm sure that's not helping. I'm starting to have really bad hip pain... that I DO remember from my first pregnancy! I actually think it started earlier with DD, so I'm grateful that it's held off a bit this time around. I have a prenatal appointment today. I'm seeing a different midwife... I think this one was a student there and recently came on as a fully certified midwife. It will be a quick appointment (thankfully... I spent enough time there taking the 3 hour glucose test a couple weeks ago). I'm just hoping that I haven't gained a million pounds or that I'm not measuring way ahead. Last time I'd only gained one pound, and I've been measuring exactly on the whole time, so I'm sure it'll be fine. But I really do feel like a whale. Not looking forward to losing the pregnancy weight after. I did it with DD, but it's not easy for me like it is for some people... it was 10 months of REALLY working hard at it. I don't really mind it, although I'd love it if it came off easier, but it's hard when the large majority of your friends don't work out at all and lose all the weight in half the time or less, when you're killing yourself and barely making any progress. Apparently I'm in a really negative mood today... must be that 4:30am wake up call . I promise to be better. I'm really very thankful for a healthy daughter, a healthy pregnancy, and all the blessings in our life. But everyone needs to vent, right?
I keep meaning to post here and then getting interrupted and never making it back. Not that there's much to say. No big news- everything is just going along, which I guess is what you want at this point of the pregnancy! DD has been sleeping better, so that is WONDERFUL. I still have to get up to pee a million times and have a hard time finding a comfortable position, but I'm happy to just have to deal with that and not a high energy 2 1/2 year old at 3am. Definite improvement. She's not sleeping as late in the morning as she used to, but at least it's legitimately morning when she gets up now!
I feel like I'm as big as a whale at this point, but I had actually lost 1/2 lb at my last appointment, and at the appointment before that I'd only gained 1 lb. So combined, I'd gained 1/2 lb in six weeks. That definitely made me happy. Baby is moving fine, and he was head down at my last appointment, which made me REALLY happy, even though the midwife warned me that he might still flip around some. From what I can tell, he's still head down, so hopefully he'll stay that way. I try to spend some time on the birth ball every day, and sitting in positions that will encourage him to stay head down. He likes to stick his little foot into my ribs! Not a pleasant feeling, but I'm so happy that it's his foot up there and not a hand that I don't care. Also happy that he appears to have given up lying transverse, which was about the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced!
DH was away on a business trip earlier this week (just got back last night) and then he leaves on another business trip tomorrow and won't be back until Wednesday night. I usually don't mind too much when he has to travel (although of course I miss him) but it's definitely harder this time with me being as pregnant as I am and trying to take care of DD, the dogs, the house, the renovations, etc. by myself, 24 hours a day. I'm worn out, and then when he gets home, he's worn out from traveling. Not a good combo. But after this trip he's done until probably next year. I'm really glad that it's now instead of in a couple of weeks. I don't expect to go early, but any later in the pregnancy and I would start to get nervous about having him out of town.
It's kind of weird... I feel simultaneously confident about making the transition to two kids, and really unprepared! Lol! DD has been really giving me a run for my money lately. Just testing the boundaries constantly. I know it's completely age appropriate and I just need to stay consistent and she'll figure it out, but I'm having a hard time finding the energy to cope with it. I know it will be easier once I have the baby and I'm feeling better physically. I feel so badly that I can't play with her as much as she wants me to, and I always HATE the physical limitations pregnancy puts on me. I know it won't be better immediately when the baby's born because I'll have to heal and I'll be nursing him constantly, but at least there will be a light at the end of the tunnel then. I try to play with her as much as possible, and tell myself that the adjustment we're making now, with me not being able to do as much, will help her get used to not being the center of attention when the baby's born. She loves babies so much and really wants to help take care of them that I'm hoping that will help her adjust. I keep talking about how she's such a good helper and how I'll need her help when "baby brother" is born. Well, I have more to say but this post is already ridiculously long, so I guess that's it for now .
Yesterday I finally posted a pregnancy pic on facebook. I had a deal with a friend of mine from high school who is also pregnant- I said I'd post one if she posted one! Everyone has been making me feel good by saying how good I look... so either I'm not as big as I think I am, or I'm hiding it well .
Baby's moving fine. I've been so distracted/stressed out with other stuff (just life... nothing crazy) that I sometimes forget to pay attention, then I get nervous that he's okay. But when I sit down for a bit and pay attention, I realize that he's fine.
DH is still out of town. He'll be back tomorrow night. I'm definitely ready. I'm feeling overwhelmed having everything here on my shoulders. Especially since it's been one of those "whatever can go wrong, will go wrong" weeks. Nothing big, just lots of little things that wear you down after awhile. I'm trying not to let the hormones get the better of me and keep things in perspective. Everything is, or will be, fine. But when you're just about 33 weeks pregnant, it all feels huge!
I'm trying to come up with fun indoor things to do with DD. We have a heat index of 115 degrees, and all she wants to do is play outside (which is obviously not a good idea) so I'm trying to let her play outside early in the morning/in the evening when it's cooler, and come up with other stuff to do during the day. I think maybe we'll go to the library today.
This has officially been a really crappy week. Every time I think I have taken care of everything, something else pops up. And people are making everything so much harder than it has to be. Like AT&T customer service taking 1 1/2 hours just to figure out who they needed to transfer me to to take care of my problem. Or my dog suddenly deciding that he no longer understands the word "come" and making me trek across our 1 1/2 acre yard (in the 100 degree heat) dragging him along. Or the YMCA telling me that I have to come in to take care of something in person that they could EASILY do over the phone. Everything is so much harder/more time consuming than it has to be! And I don't have the stamina/tolerance/patience to put up with or deal with it like a normal human being. It's lucky I got someone's voicemail at the Y instead of the actual person, because I was hysterical crying in anger/frustration and if I had actually spoken to someone I'm pretty sure I would have cursed them out, and that's saying a lot for me because I don't use bad language. I may have mentioned this already, but I'm bummed about my baby shower. Pretty much no one can come. I realize that it's July and a lot of people are out of town on vacation, but I'm already not in a good place mentally/emotionally, so this isn't helping. Makes me feel like a loser.
I feel terrible because I don't have enough patience for DD. I love her so much but she is in a very whiny/needy mood today and I am having a really hard time not getting frustrated with her. Usually I can use it as a teaching moment to show her how she should ask for things without whining, or to try to teach her that she can't always get everything she wants the second she wants it. Today I just want to crawl into a hole. And then I feel like a horrible mommy.
It's 115 degrees outside with the heat index, which I don't think is helping. I've been staying inside a lot because the heat makes me swell up, but I'm fine I stay cool. I really need to pull myself together so I can take DD somewhere. We didn't make it to the library yesterday, so I'd like to go today... pretty much right now... but I need to get a handle on myself first.
I got really scared this morning because the baby was really still. I started to freak out that something was wrong. He did start moving, which was a relief, so I did a kick count to reassure myself. I think he's fine. He's definitely not moving as much as usual so far this morning, but he is moving. He moved a ton late last night, so maybe he's just tired and sleeping more. As I'm typing this he's moving, so I'm sure everything is fine. I'm so ready to have this baby and to get through the baby blues/post partum stuff and start feeling like a somewhat normal human being again. I feel like I'll be able to be a much better mommy when I'm not feeling so physically crappy all the time. I know I'll be sleep deprived- I remember what it's like to have a newborn- but right now I'm ready to make the trade!
Well yesterday turned out to be more eventful than I had expected. We ended up with a trip L&D. Over the last two days I'd noticed that the baby hadn't been moving anywhere near as much as usual, and that when he did move, it was more lethargic/sluggish than usual. So all day Wednesday and yesterday I did kick counts. Wednesday they were okay, but just barely. Yesterday (especially in the afternoon) they started to go downhill. I was trying to decide what to do when I saw I had a voicemail from my FIL (who is an OB). His message said that he was just calling to check in/see how I'm feeling because he talked to me in a while, and to call him if I had any questions or concerns. I decided that maybe this was a sign .
So I gave him a call back and told him what was going on, and that I was trying to decide if I needed to talk to the midwife on call, or if I should just wait until the morning when the office was open. He recommended that I speak to the midwife on call, so that's what I did. She told me to take a shower/eat something sugary/do kick counts. I told her I had done all of those things (I had just gotten out of the shower, eaten pancakes for dinner right before that, and I'd been doing kick counts since the day before) so she told me to come in.
We packed up DD (it was her bed time... great timing ) and dropped her at a friend's house on our way. Long story short, they monitored me/baby for awhile and found the source of the problem- I was dehydrated. So they made me drink about a gallon of water, moved me from position to position to see how baby would respond, and he started to perk up (thank goodness). They said that because of the extreme heat we've been having the last few days (115 degree heat index) they've had a lot of moms come in with the same problem. They said it's just really hard to stay hydrated when it's this hot. So I was obviously glad that the little guy was okay and that it was something simple and easily fixed. But there was definitely a part of me that was glad that I wasn't completely crazy and there really was something going on. This probably sounds really weird, but it helped me to trust that my body actually does know what it's doing!
So we picked up DD and got home about 10:15pm and crashed. I slept okay, not great because the hip pain is starting to really get to me, and I had to pee a million times from all the water I drank at the hospital, but better than the last couple of nights. I actually managed to find a comfortable position a couple of times, which was heavenly. I'm so thankful for my body pillow! Anyway, that was the story of our exciting evening. I'm REALLY glad it wasn't any more exciting than that!