4 WEEKS, 3 DAYS PREGNANT
Wow, tabula rasa......what a peculiar and wonderful feeling to be starting a journal for a pregnancy that has been a long time coming. I reflect back to now 18 months ago when a friend of mine and I discussed having our 2nd babies and that it would be great support for each other to go through it together---our other kids are born 6 weeks apart from one another and they have so enjoyed playing with each other. Although DH and I have been admittedly off again-on again about the whole thing we did, for the most part, give it the old college try.
The morning beeping of the thermometer, charts, graphs, ovulation sticks, and crunching data like I was a professor on the subject of fertility ensued......to no avail. Then I decided that if I was to be able to carry on an adult conversation without blurting out to the poor innocent soul that asked me how my morning was that I had gotten a positive ovulation predictor strip and had great fertile mucous that I needed to just give it all a rest. We went back into the dark ages of just timing it best we could based on the time my cycle (and I admittedly used the OPK strips just because I paid good money for 90 of them that sat in my bathroom cabinet). Nothing, negative, BFN after BFN.
Cut to Monday, the beginning of this week. OK, I know for a fact our timing had been good, the fertile mucous was there, then a positive OPK strip followed shortly thereafter. I still have 20 internet cheapie HPT's in the cabinet so I started testing 8 days before I was due for AF. And got 8 BFN's. Crap! One of us is broken. I've had a kid before so I can't be ALL that messed up, right? But alot can happen in over 4 years. I'm 32 now, not 28. DH is a few months away from turning 40 now. But my cycles are regular and I haven't been on the pill since before my son was born. DH.........it had to be DH.
I went to him to explain that it is apparent one of us is not functioning correctly and all arrows point to him. He must go for the lab testing that every man dreads. It is a small contribution compared to what women endure so buck up and just move on with it. Afterall, if the tests come back normal then we can start the long road of figuring out what is wrong with my plumbing, which I promised him was not as easy as a 5 minute trip to the restroom for him. A trip in which nobody would need to see, touch, or stick anything into his hoo-ha. He reluctantly agreed for the greater good of our cause.
AF was due on Wednesday of this week. I woke up at 4:45AM for some strange reason. It wasn't because I was excited about testing because I'd already had so many BFN's. Actually I was quite NOT looking forward to the new daily grind that began with getting a BFN to start my day. For some reason I had to pee and it awoke me from my sleep at that inappropriate hour. That never happens. I tried to get back to sleep but my bladder wasn't having it. So at 5:15AM I grumbled and stumbled my way to the bathroom to get it over with. I waited approximately 20 seconds, saw the BFN, tossed it on the top of the ever-heaping pile of sticks from the past week in the trashcan and thus endeth another 2WW, it was just a matter of hours before the oh-so-timely AF would barge in.
The day went by slowly at work. I checked all day long nearly on the hour for my good AF, she was very unlike herself not showing before work as she normally does first thing in the morning. She must have gotten hung up in her travels. Weird.
Thursday morning I figured I'd test again since AF hadn't shown yet. I'm sure the stress of the 2WW had just delayed her a day but she would be here shortly. I decided to use another brand of test I had floating around the medicine cabinet in addition to my internet cheapie test so I could get 2 BFN's at the same time. What this???? I see a faint, faint 2nd line on my test! And a not-so-faint huge pink plus sign on my other test. As quick as a flash I pulled the test from yesterday off the top of the trashcan pile to look at it------another 2nd line! I hadn't given it enough time to do its thing yesterday. I pulled another one---a very very faint line. And another---even more faint lines. How is it possible to have a line be so faint for 4 days and miss it? I believe it had to do with my impatience and giving the test a whole 20 seconds to show a 2nd line or not. Apparently it is key to wait the suggested number of minutes (not that is plural) and then check the test.
DH was of course laying in bed probably wondering what was taking me so darn long in the bathroom all this time. I came out and said "Good Morning, Daddy" and looked at my sleeping 4 year old (we co-sleep) and said "Good Morning, Big Brother". DH was, of course, very excited. Though it was never discussed I'm sure a fleeting moment or two of his celebration was dedicated to the fact that his little soldiers had come through and would not have to be put under the microscope to prove themselves worthy and capable of fertilization.
I'm feeling good, just sore b00bs, though they were much worse before I ever got my BFP this cycle. I also feel very hungry, which seems early so maybe that has nothing to do with being pregnant.
I vow to myself and the little bean that we will begin an exercise regime in the evenings so I can be in better shape for the big delivery day. I'm a pinch (or a few rolls) overweight so we
need to go on some nightly brisk walks through the neighborhood and perhaps some stretching and/or yoga to make sure all is well.