We are under a severe winter storm warning with 4-6 inches of snow expected by tomorrow morning. Guess what? My first OB appointment is tomorrow!!!! Isn't that just awesome? Thank God for four-wheel drive vehicles.
Well my first prenatal appointment got cancelled yesterday because the nurse didn't make into work. They rescheduled me for tomorrow.
I still go back and forth on the cvs. I'm going to talk to the doc about the availability of an NT screening, which was not even mentioned at my utrasound visit. The doc who did my ultrasound made it sound like there was no sense in doing any testing unless I went ahead and did the CVS or amneo due to the high rate of false positives. He said my age would skew the numbers and the tests would come back suggesting further testing anyway.
I wore my fat jeans to work yesterday. Today I am sitting here with my top button undone on my khakis. SIGH. The weight gain has me depressed. The recommended weight gain for first trimester is about 5 lbs. Most of the people on my message boards have only gained a couple pounds, or *EEK!* have lost weight. It makes me feel like a cow.
Well, I STILL have not seen a doctor!!! My appointment on Friday was with a nurse who asked me 500 questions and drew a pint of blood. After she finished, she said she would take me up front to make an appointment with the OB. WHAT? It was my understanding I would be seeing a doctor at this visit. But NO. I have to take another two freakin' hours off work and drive another 30 miles on February 20th. All the while, the clock is ticking on the time frame in which I can have a CVS. I cannot have the test after 13 weeks 6 days. And I cannot make this decision, nor even make the freakin' appointment for the test until I speak to a freakin' doctor! Worst of all, I shaved my legs for nothing!!
Oh, and another thing that really pissed me off. The nurse weighs me fully dressed with my boots and sweater on, AFTER I ate McDonald's for lunch, then asks me my "starting" weight. According to her calculations, I've gained 19 pounds. You lying witch! Everybody has got to know that my starting weight is A. first thing in the morning, B. butt-naked, C. after a BM, D. on MY SCALE, not the doctor's, and E. does not include any Christmas weight gain!!!! So in reality I'm up 12 lbs over my beginning weight. So kiss my fat butt, Nurse Know-It-All.
Whew. What a vent. I feel better. One positive note...I heard the heartbeat for the first time! 166 bpm. The nurse said it sounds like another girl. I think it sounds a little early to be making such predictions.
I am so fat. I am so depressed about being fat. I have gained soooo much weight! I haven't worked out in over a week due to a combination of weather and fatigue, and I'm not even gonna post what my scale said this morning. I've got to stop eating so much, but it seems that eating is the only thing that brings me pleasure lately. Not to mention, I have ZERO self-control. It's like a demon takes over my body when you put food in front of me! I am almost constantly thinking about food.
I'm beginning to wonder if the over-eating has anything to do with going off my meds. I've been surprised at how well I've been doing mood-wise off the medicine, but I'm beginning to think that the welbutrin was doing more for me than just helping with depression. I'll definitely be asking the doc next Tuesday about going back on my medicine.
STILL have not seen the doc. They moved my appointment to this afternoon. I have pee in my purse. No. Really. I was asked to bring a sample of first morning urine to my appt, and since I'm leaving straight from work, I've got a plastic container of pee stashed in my purse. Yeah, I know, me too.....eeewwwww.
I'm angry at my husband right now for something that's not entirely his fault. He works for a local radio station that broadcasts high school sports, and it's basketball tournament time. My husband has worked every night for the last two weeks, except for this past Sun and Mon. He will work every night this week, all day Saturday and possibly most nights next week. In the midst of all this, I am juggling Girl Scout cookie sales, gymnastic classes, doctor's appointments, and planning dd's birthday party. Oh yeah, and GESTATING, for crying out loud...I am exhausted. There are times when I need his help, when I need someone to pick up my slack, and he's just not there. I needed him yesterday to help me unload 160 cases of Girl Scout cookies. Where was he? At a basketball game. I need him tonight to pick up our daughter since my doctor's appt got moved. Where will he be? A damn basketball game. I need help Saturday morning transporting all these freakin' cookies to a cookie sale, but guess what? Yup, he's got games all day. We go thru this every year at this time, but I'm just really over it this time around.
Okay, vent is over. The medicine really is helping, I promise.
I had a good appointment last Friday. The doc had trouble finding the heartbeat so he did a quick ultrasound. All is well, and that little bean was just a jumpin'! My dh and I had an appointment with a genetic counselor on Monday in Lexington, which is about a 2 hr drive for us. After going over all our options for prenatal testing, we both agreed that an NT screening is the way to go. Basically, the only risk factor we're looking at is my age. I had an ultrasound and blood taken. I got some really good pictures from the ultrasound which I need to get posted. It was so cool to see the baby moving around, waving it's arms. The baby's mouth was opening and closing alot...DH said we've bred another talker. The doc said the NT measurement looks normal, but she will wait for my blood work to give me an "adjusted risk factor". My blood results should be back by Friday.
On a side note, I had a crying jag Monday morning when I tried to find something to wear. I'm pretty sure it's due to my stupid husband, God love him. Sunday morning, I broke down crying to him about how fat and ugly I was feeling, and he gives me this speech about how beautiful I am and how he loves the changes in my body, blahblahblah. So then that afternoon the stupid idiot has the nerve to tell me that the sweater I had on was "not very flattering"....He tells me this as we are standing in line at Dairy Queen ordering ice cream, of all the places to give me his opinion on this!!! WTF?!? If we had not been in public he would now have a black eye. Men just do not think at all before they open their mouths. Normally I enjoy my husband's input on how my clothes look, but that has got to be the worst thing to say at the absolute worst moment in time. I'm standing there with about a million calories in my hand, and he basically tells me I look fat. Dumbass.
Anyway, I'm over it. I discovered after my crying jag Monday morning that I'd forgotten to take the Welbutrin on Sunday, so that could be another reason I melted down. All is well now.
I've had two dreams now that the baby is a girl, and this morning dh told me he dreamt last night that he asked me "Where are the girls?". He reallyreallyreally wants a boy, but sounds like deep down he thinks it's a girl, too.