13 weeks! Official weight gain during first trimester: 17 lbs. I only exceeded the recommended weight gain by 7 to 12 lbs, 5 of which can easily be blamed on the holidays, right? (Just shut up, it makes me feel better about myself.)
I'm feeling better than I have in many weeks....um, about 13? I've got more energy... I actually cooked dinner FOUR times this week! What an improvement. I even have a little sex drive, believe it or not. My husband actually TURNED DOWN SEX yesterday morning...WTF?!? I told him he'd better take it while the gettin's good, because in a few months he's gonna hit one hell of a dry spell.
My husband's oldest nephew and his wife are adopting a son from South Korea. He was supposed to arrive yesterday but his flight was delayed until today. So at 4:15 today, my husband officially becomes a Great Uncle! Their son turned one last month, so I know they are in for quite an adjustment. It's hard enough adapting to all the life changes a newborn brings to first-time parents, but to begin with a one-year-old will be a phenomenal challenge. I wish them the best of luck and love.
My new great-nephew arrived safe and sound yesterday afternoon, and he went right to his new parents with no hesitation. Babies evidently come in threes, because in addition to ours and my great-nephew, dh's cousin just announced she's due in July! Three new babies in one year!
DH had a really late night working last night, getting in at about 1:30am. I woke up when he got home and could not go back to sleep. I even asked dh for a little, um, well, you know, thinking that would relax me enough to go back to sleep. But, no. I finally fell back asleep about an hour before the alarm went off. Guess this is good training for what's to come.
I've been proud of my eating habits the last few days. Both nutritional content and portion sizes have greatly improved. I get a little snack attack at night (even before pg), and for the last week I've actually chosen fruit over junk! I've also been eating alot more veggies. The NEED TO FEED must be gone for now as I no longer have the urge to eat everything that is not nailed down. No weight gained in three weeks! I wonder if these improvements in appetite are due to starting back on the welbutrin, or due to hitting the second trimester.
I finally got my NT screening results yesterday! Risk for Down's is now 1 in 4800, and risk for Trisomy 18 is now 1 in 10,000.
Boy, I had one hell of a weekend. Today is the first time I've been out of bed since Saturday evening. I've got the worst cold I've ever experienced in my life. I haven't run a fever, so I'm guessing it's not the flu. But it has totally kicked my butt. I feel like I have an elephant sitting on my face.
I've lost 5 lbs since last Monday, I'm sure mostly due to this stinking cold.
I had a doc's appointment yesterday, just a quick one. Everything looks good, she said, and I'm even down a couple pounds from last time (whew!). She also said the welbutrin is fine. I'm having bloodwork done next Tuesday for the AFP test. The doctor says it's mainly for the spinabifida results since the NT screening doesn't check for that.
I also scheduled my "big" ultrasound...April 24th! Hopefully we can tell the sex this time. My dd, who in utero moved ALL THE TIME (it seemed), was fast alseep and would not wake up during her ultrasound. I even had regular coffee and lots of sugar that morning just to be sure. She was curled up asleep with her legs tightly crossed, so we couldn't tell the sex. I was SO disapointed!
On a crappy note, I have had this awful cough for two weeks now. My poor baby is gonna be born with shaken child syndrome!
Wow, it's been a crazy week. I had a great weekend since the weather was nice and sunny. We got the kayaks out on the creek, which was fun. On the downside, some friends of ours who were due in June delivered way too early at 24 weeks, and their son passed away at 11 days old on Sunday. For obvious reasons, it struck me pretty hard. I'm at a loss as to what I could say or do to help them, especially since I'm beginning to show pretty good and don't want to be a reminder to her of what's she's gone thru. All I can do is send as much positive energy their way as I can.
I'm really going thru an I-hate-my-husband period right now, and it all started on Saturday. I will warn you this is a little TMI but I've got to tell someone and this journal is about the only place I can rant. DH and I usually do a little Saturday morning, um, "cuddling", before we get up for the day. I look forward to it, because I'm not tired like at night, and it's just very arousing to me to have his body curled up behind mine and, well, feeling how excited he is. Well, last Saturday morning was a total flop as far as sex is concerned. He curled up behind me as he usually does, then either fell back asleep or just zoned out because NOTHING happened. Normally he's all fired up and ready to go and all over me, if you know what I mean. At one point he even asked me in a crappy tone, "so what do you want?" Um, nothing now, thank you very much. He then made some comment along the lines of, why don't I "talk him into it". I just rolled away and just wanted to cry. I finally got up so he wouldn't see my tears. My self-esteem is about as negative as its been in a long time. I feel fat, I feel VERY unsexy, I feel like I have no control over anything right now. And my husband, who by the way told me he probably wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me while I'm pregnant because the thought of it made him hot, can't even muster up a little Saturday morning wood...and it had been at least a week since we had sex the last time! I felt like the most undesirable female on the earth. Here it is almost a week later and I still want to cry.
And furthermore, he can be such a know-it-all asshole sometimes that I want to smack him. Like when we went kayaking. We have both a tandem and a single, and I took the single because I worried about trying to handle the longer tandem with my daughter in it as well. At one point he wanted to switch, which is fine, but then when I had trouble steering through one of the rapids (class I, don't worry), he made a smartass comment about my lack of steering ability. Jerk. I'm 4 months pregnant and have a 60 lb child in the front and I've NEVER been on this creek in my life, and he's telling me it's because I can't steer. F*&k you.
Another example would be last night. I ordered this documentary from Netflix about cars that I thought he would really like, since he's a car kinda guy. So we watch the whole thing, and when it's over, know what his comment was? "Well, I didn't hear anything I didn't already know, but it was interesting." Sorry I wasted two hours of your life. How about, "thanks for thinking of me and renting something you thought I'd like." Or even, "that was pretty interesting!". Or how about just keeping your mouth shut altogether.
And he hasn't quit smoking yet. (I keep saying "yet" like it's still a possibility.) I've given up alcohol, I can't take decent cold medicine if I'm sick, I can't drink a decent cup of coffee, and I have to give up my personal space (my craft room) for a nursery. I'm losing my body and my haven. He hasn't given up the first damn thing, not even the one thing he said he would. The point of him giving up smoking is not only for his health and the future of his children, but also to allow me to use a portion of his precious garage (where he crawls off to each night for his daily smoke) for my craft area. He cut down to one a day, and I was supposed to jump up and down with joy and give him a big star on his chart for that. Well I did...for the first couple weeks. But since then, he's back up to two or three or more a day. And to him that's still progress. To me, it's still smoking.
I feel so alone on this journey, and so resentful that I'm having to do this all by myself. A little star on my chart once in a while would be nice.
Yesterday after lunch, I was sitting at my desk at work and the baby kicked me hard enough to make me jump. Now, I've been feeling movement for going on two weeks now, but that was the first time I felt a definite jab. I'd forgotten how weird it feels!
Oh, and Friday night, I read dh the riot act. He hasn't smoked since. He decided I was more important than the cigarettes.
I'm so mad right now I could spit nails! I just got off the phone with Humana, who bought out my insurance company, CHA Health. With CHA, this pregnancy and delivery was going to cost me less than $300. All I would be responsible for is the first office copay of $40 and the hospital copay of $250. All other maternity expenses were covering in full! Well, effective April 1st with the change-over to Humana, I now have to meet a $500 deductible, pay a $40 co-pay at every doctor's visit, pay a hospital co-pay of $150, and THEN pay 20% of whatever the L&D and hospital expenses will be!!!!! I am so freaking p.o.'d!!!! It's not like I am resposible for the switch, THEY bought out my company and took over my policy!
So now I not only have to figure out how I'm going to pay my regular bills during my UNPAID maternity leave, I now have to figure out where I'm going to find the money to even have this child.
18 wks 6 days
My big ultrasound is one week from today!!!! I'm so excited! I'm excited that I'm finally excited!
The baby has been doing cartwheels in my belly. I feel him/her move alot now. DH even felt it on Sun morning as we were laying in bed, having "belly time", as he calls it.
My email buddy, who is due the same day as I am, found out last week she's having a boy. She was hoping for a girl. I told her we're hoping for a boy, but more than likely it's a girl, so we can just trade. JUST KIDDING. I don't want to jinx myself, but I do hope this is a boy.
OHMYGOD I've got less than three hours until my ultrasound. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve! I hope they are able to tell us the sex of the baby, unlike last time with dd, who had her little legs crossed and wouldn't give up the goods.
Okay, just for the record, here's my official prediction: I predict it's a girl. As badly as I would like it to be a boy, I just have a feeling it's a girl.