Defined Roundness

18 posts / 0 new
Last post
SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648
Defined Roundness

Strange title, I know, but I came up with it in some silly mood the other day when I posting on the Dec '03 BB!! That's how I described how my belly is looking already Biggrin .

My name is Diane & I am 25 years old. This is my 4th PG & hopefully 2nd child. I had two m/c's in '99 (the second one with Twins). My DS, Liam, will be 3 October 11th. I am tentitively due December 29th '03.

"Daddy" & I are no longer together. Actually, we broke up only 2 weeks before I found out I was PG, but we still always talked about getting back together & making things work. As a matter of fact, the day before I found out I was PG, he told me that he "really hopes we can work things out". Now, we are fighting.

Needless to say, he doesn't want me to continue with the PG, as we are not together. He is not even willing to give it a try. Our lifestyles are totally different. It was hard for things to work between us when it was just us...

As for the way I feel, sure, I didn't want to be 26, divorced (yes, I am still legally married to someone else~we haven't been together for almost two years though), with two kids~by two different Dads. But, those are the cards that I was dealt & I am not about to change fate. After loosing my 3 precious babies, how the He** could I think about aborting? Maybe it would make things easier, but I've lost 3 Angels...I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy.

So, there is my rough introduction. I will post here often with my updates & daily progress.

Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

During the night, I felt so horrible!! I was having the worst cramps that would come on 10 fold, then go away for a few minutes & then hit me again. Jay was so worried. I was going to go to the hospital, as I am so worried about m/c again, or yet another tubal PG. With my first tubal, it was in my left side & I still have my tube, but that is where this pain was.

I don't know. I am so paranoid though :? . Maybe the pains are normal. Maybe it is because I have two uterus'. Maybe it is a tubal... Maybe, Maybe, Maybe :shock: .

Your Daddy was real good on the phone durning the night too. He wanted to see me & get a hotel room, so we could be alone & not have to listen to his RM & such. I didn't go though. He told me over and over that he loved me & that he misses me. I am so confused. We are supposed to get together today, but when I talked to him about an hour ago, he was snappy & like "I'm out buying a bed right now. I'm busy. I'll call you later." He is so confusing. :roll:

well, on another note, you are feeling much better today. I'm starting to notice that at night time, you don't like it when I lay on my back or sides. You make me feel sick & hurt my lungs :dontknow: .

I am still not having any desire to eat, although I know tht you are really enjoying beans!!! You love brown beans!!

I love you lil' un!!

Mommy

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Wow!! I feel like I am a great mood!! Your Dady called me about 1/2 an hour ago, and he started off by apologizing to me for everything that has been going on within the last week. He said he was sorry about being a jerk & rude to me. He said he didn't mean to, but he has had a rough week...Which is true. One of his friends was shot & almost killed back home, then a friend of his took off with a whole bunch of $$$, then the ring thing, then me telling him about you~well, we kinda already knew, I just confirmed it~.

He also told his roommate that he never thought it was me in the first place that took the ring. That was a huge relief to hear. He also asked RM why he said what he did, and RM apologized to me for that. He was just upset & didn't understand the severity of the threat.

He also said he misses me & wants to spend his birthday with me on Tuesday. He wants us to go out for dinner. He even said maybe we'd met tomorrow for coffee. I think that he is coming to the conclusion that you are going to be here & he also said in reference to that, that it's just the timing that is bad. I agree with him on that, but it happened.

Personally, on the way he acted in regards to the PG, I think he is just scared. He is only turning 23, about to move back home to a different Province & worried that he'd loose touch with me. See, and that was all going on before we found out about you...that's part of the reason we broke up. Now with you a reality, it bothers him even more.

I'm not justifing anything, it is just reassuring my faith that I knew he is a good guy. He always cared about me, and worried about me & we've always been able to joke around & be goofy & serious about each other at the same time...

BTW~I am calling you Rocky, because that is what your Daddy has told me that he wanted to name his child (long before we knew I was PG)!! We used to bug each other about that!! I was like, "Hell No!!". And he always said that he didn't want some "pretty boy, sissy name!!"

Till Later...

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

OK, quickie here!! This first link says that I've concieved a Girl...

Girl

This one, says Boy... Boy

So now I'm confused!!

Diane

~*~Edited to let you all know that I am a goof!! Both do in fact say
GIRL!! ~*~[/color]

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Rocky~

Yes, I know that will be weird, but there is a story behind it & your Dad is sure that that is what we will name you! He's been saying that for 2 months!

Anyhow, we went to the Dr.'s today & didn't do much!! Just got some forms for bloodwork. He is also putting me on Prozac instead of Effexor. I took Prozac with Liam, and although it isn't as good, it helps Wink . Oh yeah, he also changed our DD to December 28th, not 29th!!

I talked to your daddy tonight & he wanted to know how it went. I know that deep down he really cares & wants this, but I know he is scared & worried.

Good Night!

Mommy

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Yipee!! I think that I am starting to have PG signs!! I am hungry today & last night & I have been feeling so sick to my tummy when I go to bed at night.

That is another thing. I have been bit by the insomnia bug!! I can sleep during the day, but to go to bed normally, that is a different story!!

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Hello! I know it has been a few days since I've let you in on things, but it has been crazy here :? . Not everything has been good either Sad .

For starters, Matt & Terri both got arrested on Wednesday. They got out the next morning thankfully & not much will happen to them, but still. Thursday,I went to school for my placement tests, & I did great!! They wanted to put me in a higher level of Math then I felt comfortable taking, so after like 10 minutes of them trying to convince me to go higher, they gave in to me!! I might have done good on the tests, but I know that that was a fluke Wink !!

Then, I got a call back from a hotel close by & they want me to come in on Tuesday to meet with the GM!! Basically, I have the job!! I didn't tell them that I am PG though. I am still scared. I will be I'm sure, the whole time.

Last night, I had to take my Mom to the hospital. She has been having a bit of a hard time with things. And she will be there till Monday at least Sad . But, after that, I went over to see your Daddy. We had plans since the afternoon to get together. We were supposed to go for a BBQ, but didn't hear from one of his friends that was going to come with us. Instead, we ordered in & watched like 3 movies!! It was nice, I was laying on my side, and he was massaging my back, then he would move his hand to my side & let his fingers touch my belly. It was like he was touching you! It sent the biggest shivers through me! I was soooo happy!

Well, I'm gonna go clean up a bit. Talk to you soon Sweetie!

Mommy

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Not too much new to report on. Your big brother is with his grandparents, as I have to meet with the GM at my new job early tomorrow morning. Nana is still in the hospital, but may be getting out today??? I don't know. That is what she says, but I haven't heard anything today, so I don't know.

On a good note, we spent time with your Daddy last night! He even made us supper & such. We didn't talk about things this time, so we didn't argue. That was so nice. I'm not sure what is going on, but we've even talked a few times this morning already & he is talking about maybe meeting up briefly later today. One of his friends is coming back from back home {hummm, does that make sense?!!} today. I am not sure of what time though. His roommate.

Anyhow, I'm trying to call the Dr. to see if I can get the appointment moved up at all.

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

~^~I copied this from the December 2003 BB~^~

Where do I start? First of all, I just found out that I got the job at the hotel!! I will start Thursday morning at 7:30am!!

Then, I went to have my bloodwork done, but I was waiting over half an hour & was going to be late for my US, so I left and came back afterwards. What a pain . I have to get my blood done every 2 days, just to monitor the HCG levels.

Now on to the US. The tech doing it was quick & rude. She said they were down a tech. I don't bleepin' care. Anyhow, she also can't tell me anything, as they are not "trained" to do so. :evil: The radiologist {who can tell me things} wouldn't come see me either, because they were too busy. But, I am assuming that things are "normal", as they let me go.

Going by my many past US experiences, I did manage to see a flickering heartbeat though!! Biggrin :neonflower: !! That is holding me on, until I hear something otherwise from my Dr.

{{{Hugs}}}
Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Copied from the December '03 BB

I got ahold of my OB's office this morning. They did only call to let me know that they're changing my appointment till sooner. I am scheduled for an ultrasound in their office, where my Dr. will be there . That will be on the 21st. So, I am assuming again that things are relatively fine, as it is not an "immediate" appointmtent!!

I've tried calling my GP, but I had to leave a message & the nurse let me know that he likes to call patients back between seeing patients, therefore, he should call me back soon...I hope. This is the one phone call that is really bothering me. Last Friday, I went and did my regular routine bloodwork, to check for all sorts of things in PG's. Where I live, they check for EVERYTHING. I am worried that something is really wrong. Why would a Dr. call otherwise? And, usually it is the nurse that calls to make an appointment "to discuss the results". Not the Dr. calling personally.

The one thing that I am leaning on, is I know that I am anemic. I have been forever. I am hoping he is just going to let me know I have to up my iron supplements...And, the fact that I called him half an hour ago & he still hasn't called back!!

I will update in this post, as soon as I hear from him. I need to leave for work at about 2:00pm{MT}. That is 4 hours from now!!

{{{Hugs}}}
Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Wow. I haven't been able to update for a long while. I might not get to completely, as my littlw Liam wants to use the computer! Little bug refuses to go to bed! I think because it is so warm here!

I went to the OB today & heartbeat is back up to 153! Still unsure of what is the deal with the growths in the belly. Pernatologists saw one mass, then the radiologists saw two. Peri's have no idea what could be wrong. OB thinks it is Diaphram problems, & the radiologists think it is stomach problems :? I am so frustrated with all of this now.

I see the Peri again on the 15th {this Tuesday}. I hoping for better news, but who knows.

Jay told me today {after not talking to him for nearly 3 days} that he once again no longer wishes to have anything to with me as I am ruining his life & not to call him till he is a Dad. And I better hope that I don't make him the Father of a "Fucked Up kid". What a jerk. This after telling me that he loved me two nights ago... How does this make sense? HE does tend to go through this every few weeks or so, but not for a long time. For awhile there, I was actually feeling like things were going well. Until I went into the hospital last week. He can't understand why I would wanted have a child that may have problems... And one that is causing me so much pain & risk my life and such.

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

I don't know what to think of how my appointment went :dontknow: . Both masses are still there. I guess it is a good thing they didn't multiply. They also still couldn't give me any answers. Didn't rule out cancer Sad . I did blood work for Downs Syndrome, Spina Bifida, Trisomy 18, Anceheply.

They also think there could be a possiblity that I transfered an infection to the baby. That bothers me. I asked "Well then if it is from me, then it won't cause any harm?" She said "No, I can't say we could be that lucky." Sad They also say that a large amount of babies born with Cystic Fibrosis, many of them have these "types" of belly masses. They definatly think it is in the lower belly region, not up near the chest or Diaphram.

On Friday, my results should be back & I see a Genetics Counceller in the PM. I am scared for that. They should be able to give me my results during that meeting. I see the Peri's again on the 23rd of next week. They too, will go the results with me then.

I told them I didn't feel comfortable to get checked for GD just yet, as he was only measuring at 15 weeks 1 day. Now he is behind by 8 days {going by my LMP}. hey aren't worried about that yet.

I also got into trouble for loosing so much weight. 8 lbs. I have to now try to eat continually throught the day. And drink Ensure.

{{{Hugs}}}
Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Copied from the January 2004 BB

Suprise suprise. :roll: I just got a call from the Genetics department & an actual Genetisit {SP} wants to specially & personally see me tomorrow. I no longer need to go the group meeting~I need to see this head guy alone instead.

I asked if I should get as much info from Jay {Daddy} as I can & they told me no, that they bellieve that it is strictly on the maternal side. :shock:

I should get the resutls from my AFP test tomorrow too. I feel like getting hit by a truck. Why is God punishing me like this?

Sad Diane

Little One,

Your Daddy called me yesterday afternoon & we had such a good talk. I told him that I was going to call you Dawson {as a joke} to piss him off! He laughed! That is a little joke between us. I also told him that I have decided to call you JJ for now. I didn't like the It or Baby phase. Then I didn't like calling you Him or He. JJ of Justin Junior. He told me that his friends have been telling him that we should name you Justin II. Strange coincidence :o Love you JJ

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

~*~Copied from the January 04 BB~*~

Drum roll please! AFP, Downs~Negative! Spina Bifida~Negative! Ancephely~Negative! Trisomy 18~Negative! We all pretty much figured that would be the end result in those tests, but it is such a relief to hear! He is measuring about 17 weeks, so about 8 days behind going by my LMP, but that is ok. We're still leaning towards Cystic Fibrosis Sad , and I am worried, but now we can book an amnio soon I hope.

My right side has been hurting like a son of a gun, but my OB thinks it is scar tissue from all of my past surgeries & problems with Liam's birth. I had one of my right kidneys removed when I was 4.

{{{Hugs}}}
Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Copied from the January 04 BB

Sorry I have been away Sad . I have been in a rather down mood lately. I had to have my Mom admitted to the hospital for OD'ing on pills again. I guess this time it was my fault because I told her that I wanted to go to my next appointment by myself. Well, she got it in her head that I was saying that because I wanted Jay to go with me. In the first place, he is the father. If he wants to go, then bloddy rights he has all means to go. But that wasn't why. I am 98% sure that my little man won't survive & I know that my Mom has problems dealing with that. I was trying to protect her. Not push her away like she thinks.

Then the next day I went in to ER for severe pains, spotting & lack of movement. I think they think I am going crazy too :? . I am so upset by everything. I have taken myself off my antidepressants for a couple of reasons, I can't afford it & I don't like being on them, you know, feeling like I am dependant on a drug. I've been going through raging migraines & depression, but I am trying to get out of that down slup when I feel it coming on.

My step dad came home on Friday & that has just been hell. I haven't even had Liam come home for a week, as I don't want him to see me upset.

I had my Pernatologist appointment and US on Monday. Man, I hate those people sometimes. :evil: . The Dr.'s & the US techs were actually really good this time. It was the nurse. I'll get to that after. I had an hour and a half long scan. Let me tell you how uncomfortable that is... JJ has really long legs. They couldn't get a good look at his feet, but they know he has 2 of them. I'll explain this too, in a minute. The masses are all over the lower belly still alot look like they are in the liver, or on top of it. There are still cystic masses as well as the echogenic or calcified looking masses. Still no definate "what is it" answers. We couldn't see facial features at all, that whole time. They say he was being stubborn. Maybe. They also couldn't get him to open his fists. I didn't understand the importance of this, but they kept pushing hard on my belly & in the whole 1.5 hours, he wouldn't open either fist. Could be a bad thing.

I did looking up on the 'net when I got home, because I didn't think it was important, but it is a good sign of Trisomy 18. So are alot of the other symptoms he has, such as the lack/lessened fetal movement :cry: . They were going to do an amnio right then, but the Dr. was worried, as I had spotting a few days prior & I already have the high miscarriage rate. I told her that I have already talked this over with every single Dr. I've seen & I need to find out. If I don't bleed within this week, then I will have an amnio on Tuesday the 19th. Finally.

Thank you for asking & I am going to go and finish updating some of the lists now!! Biggrin

Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Updated August 13 2003~
Biggrin I was so excited earlier this afternoon. I was in the bath & called the Perinatologist's office to complain again. Oddly enough, my CF carrier status results came back negative! That is god for me. But, Jay didn't want to do the test himself, so they are a little upset by that. Anyhow, I was told that yes, I am definatly scheduled for the amnio on the 19th at 8:30am. I am very happy at this point.

Sad A few hours later, my OB calls. Yes, I am a negative carrier, but that is not 100%,a s Jay didn't test. Then, yes there were a few problems noted on the 1.5 hour scan. First, the clenched fists. Like I said, I didn't think too much of it, then I went home & looked it up on the net. Could be a sign of Trisomy 18. But I passed that test too, didn't I? With my Triple Screen. Of course, that test isn't accurate :? . There is also a large "Fat Pocket" at the back of the base of JJ's neck Sad . Yup, a sign of either Trisomy 18, or Downs. Hey, wasn't I cleared of that too? I will never take that damn AFP test again :evil: .

I am so devestated by this. Now I wish I was back in the beginning, where all I thought I had to worry about were cysts in the belly. That all seems so trivial now :cry:

I am going for my amnio. Damn rights. I have begged & fought long and hard for this. They could even have the results back as early as one week for me.

Please, I am begging you to keep us in your prayers. I feel so lost. Anyone know how it feels to carry your child, your son, the one you love, inside you. Feeling movements, only to know that there is a chance he won't live to be born?

Oh my beautiful son...I love you so.

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Wow! Has it ever been forever since I've updated this! Not my fault though Smile I went in to the hospital August 17th & just got out October 30th. I went in in summertime, came out and there was snow on the ground! That was 3 WHOLE SEASONS I saw while in the hospital. Not a great feat if you are trying to break records, take my word for it.

I went in when I was 20 weeks. They kept me. Ruptured membranes, contractions, my past with losses & 2 uterus'. My whole life was torn upside down! I didn't get to put Liam to bed for 3 months. I was not impressed.

Baby is doing fine. Had 3 mild contractions today while the Antenatal nurse was here checking me. I have to do daily NST's. They at least come out to my home to do them. I go back to see my Dr. on the 14th of November. Hopefully there is no change in my dialtion. I am between 3 & 4 cm already. My cervical length is only measuring .4 cm. It should be longer than 3cm. I am less than one. No doubt, I am sure this little guy will be a preemie.

He is moving tons & I am loving it! Jay & I talk all the time. Not too much new there though.

Diane

SparkleMomma's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648
He's Here!

I know that I haven't updated for so long, but so much has been going on!!

I went in for my OB appt on Thurs. We did set up an induction for Friday morning {Dec 19th}, although it was pending. With the Christmas rush, we weren't sure if I'd be called or not. I went home not counting on too much. Low and behold, I got a call on Friday morning! They had room for us! I went in around 10 am & got the drip started finally at 11:23am! Wow, was it ever a slow start. I was remaining at cm dilation forever. No one could believe that after everything, it was a long wait for advancement!!!

My waters were ruptured around 5:30pm & I only progressed to 4 cm :x . I signed my forms for the Epi and had to wait for 20 mins until the anestiologist was done in surgery. I didn't like this, as the contractions got stronger, real fast and his heartrate was dropping. From 130's to 108, 107. I got scared. Then I said that I had to pee, so she was going to check me then go get me a shot of Morphine to ease the pain. I was now 7cm. Keep in mind that I jumped from 4cm to 7cm in only a matter of minutes :o .

I then told her I had to take a poop {TMI} & she said no way. I didn't even get to go pee yet. She checked me again, called the Dr. & said it was too late for meds. I was pissed. My OB came in, I gave a trial push, he yelled at me too stop. He still didn't have his coat on. I kept pushing & when only the Dr.'s sleeves were on, I pushed hard & out popped my son!!! All in less than an hour!! :shock: Blum 3

It took awile to deliver the placenta, but it was pretty much OK. There was retained membranes from my previously ruptured waters, but after some tugging and such, he thought he got them all out... NOPE. More on this in a bit Wink

Micheal Aidan Johnson was born DECEMBER 19TH 2003 at 7:55pm. 6lbs 3oz & 19inches long!! Lots of black hair & BF's like a pro!! He only has both thumbs {on the left, it is incomplete~no nail} & both pinkies, although they are both long in length & the tips curve inwards. We see a plastics Dr. in March. He has calcifications inside his liver. So far, with examination, the masses don't follow any common forms of patterns for cancers that are commonly known. It still hasn't been ruled out, but we aren't worrying too much about it right now.

I got his pictures taken in the hospital & signed the form for them to put them on the WebNuresy site. They should be up soon. As soon as I get that link, then I will definatly pass it on to you all! You will be able to see his fingers and hands fairly good in the 3 pics they will have Smile .

I have been taking the deformity WAY better than I thought I would. I was sure that for the first little while I would want to keep his hands covered, but I love them. I kiss them constantly & he can even grip around my fingers with his right hand Smile . Strangers have been good about it too. I got a lot of questions when I took him to see Santa yesterday, but it didn't bother me. I even had two young kids, about 7 and 11 stop me and tell me how cute he was, then all they asked, was why are his fingers shorter? And it was 2 separate occasions. The kids weren't even together. They were awesome about it. I found the adults would look at him, say "He's so sute", then notice his fingers and not say anything. Whatever. I was more worried about kids reactions Blum 3

We are waiting for the pathology reports to come back, but during my D&C on Monday Dec 22nd, they found large amounts of retained membranes from when I ruptured in August. They died and adhered to my uterus & cervix when the seal formed again. That is why I hemmoraghed again...internally. We finally got discharged on the 24th...Christmas Eve, I couldn't have asked for a better present!!

Diane

Thank you for sharing my pregnancy trip with me! I know that it has been an interesting ride {to say the least} but we finally made it!