Its funny how something so small can create and conduct all the crazy and wonderful feelings that I am having. I am only eight weeks along and I am insanely in love with what is growing inside of me. It took DH and I a full year to conceive and now it feels as if it was just yesterday that we were married. Its as if I have to check everyday in the mirror for any tiny change in my body that I can detect, or relax and think on how my body feels at any given most. When I close my eyes and sense my body I feel the small pull right below my belly button that tells me my LO is still there.
Isnt it odd how I have to confirm that. I am so deeply scared of miscarriage that I am even afraid to sneeze to hard. No one in my family has miscarried, but its still the thought that lingers in the back of my head.
As for emotions, ha. I yell one second and cry the next. I was baking cookies the other day and had the sudden urge to scream at the top of my lungs. ( I wonder if LO could feel that) I dont want to be touched when I sleep, is anyone else experiencing that? If DH even brushes his leg hair against me I get out of the bed and pace until I think I can go back to sleep, which of course deprives my of my needed 8 hours.
DH has been wonderful these past weeks. He has even painted my toenails...lol. I still dont believe that he has soaked it in that we are actually going to have a baby. We were looking at shoes in Target the other day, and he was bored and wanted to look at sports gear. I think the moment that he hears that heartbeat for the first time, he will know and he will fall in love. He is just that sort of guy. He falls hard.
Well, I am anticipating my first appointment on December 4th. I chose my doctor on my mom's and sister's recommendation. He did the emergency delivery for my niece because my sister's doctor was on vacation. Both of then talked really highly of him, so we will see. I have never been to a Gyno mostly out of fear, so I am sure when the date starts drawing nearer that I will be more nervous, but now I look forward to it.
This baby will be loved beyond any measure.