Di's 6th Bellybug~Fly with angels

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Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153
Di's 6th Bellybug~Fly with angels

This is a sopy and paste frommy other entries..
This is so exciting. Two days ago my pregnancy was confirmed. I'm going to be someone (else's) mother. DH and I are hoping for a girl, and based on the verdict of my resident baby psychic (aka my DD) we are gonna get her. I know we should choose a boy's name also but boy's names arent easily agreed upon in this house:(

The girls name is pretty set:
Gabriella Nicole (unless she doesn't "look" like a Gabi)

All seems well so far, outside of an overabundance of MS. First baby appt is on May 6th My DS' 2nd birthday.

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How silly of me! I forgot to give you all an intro!
I am Di (5 weeks 3 days pregnant). a Debt Consolidation specialist. I am 25years old. My DH is Ricky, age 24. We have been married since April 17th, 1999. I have 4 DD and 1 DS, ages 10,8,4,3,2 and my DS is the baby (for now.. Till lil one comes along)
We are all very anxious for the lil Miss(ter)s arrival. s/he is due 12/3/03

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**5 Weeks, 5 Days**
You know, one would think that after having 5 children that I would have everything I needed for this one.. WRONG! I think there is more that I need than what I have. And I was informed not long ago that later on in the pregnancy, I get a diaper party as that is apparently customary for the 6th child. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be a mom to six. And I never thought I would still be nervous and paraniod over every little cramp and pain.

Today DH and I switched our two main rooms around. We moved our comp into the living roon and our loveseat(for reading on) into the dining room, which is where the bookshelf is. It looks nice that way, surprisingly. I have always thought of the dining room as two separate rooms anyways. Looking at both sides is like looking at two different worlds. DH has been nesting like mad this weekend, which only means one thing.. When I'm 37 weeks pregnant and on mat leave, he will come home one day to the whole house being rearranged.

I go back to work tomorrow after some very nice and relaxing time off. Not only do I go back but I will be working Monday thru Saturday, until further notice.. Oh joys!

Well, that's it for now. Not much else to report.~~More later~~

To my lil bellybug~ I feel so blessed that I was chosen to be your mommy. I am counting the days till you arrive!

*^*^Di*^*^
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**6 Weeks 0 days**

Plenty of heartburn lately. I went to Motherhood last night. Wow they have cute clothes!! A lil bit pricey, but cute nonetheless.

I found out today that my job is basically gonna screw me because I'm pregnant. I'm gonna miss time for Dr's appts and I wont get my higher rate of pay for whatever weeks I have an appointment. It's crazy and stupid, IMO.

At any rate, we have decided on Care Bears for a theme, incase I haven't said that before.

I am sooooooooo tired lately it's not even funny. I need to quit these late nights!

~~Until next time!~~

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**6 weeks 5 days**

Finally a day off from work!! YAY! This will be a once a week occurrance unfortunately. It seems to be going so slow. Sad My carpal tunnel is resurfacing worse than ever. (it pretty much lays dormant with a small attack here and there when I am not preg) It's gotten so bad that I don't even get pain anymore, now it's pain AND tingling which in my line of work is not good.

I keep getting this feeling that something is not "normal".. I don't mean that in a bad way.. Just that this wont be a typical pregnancy for me.. and I don't wanna say why cause speaking the words brings life to them.. LOL so maybe if I keep it to myself everything will be normal(who am I kidding?? That stuff never works)..
We have the house tore up now rearranging stuff for baby's arrival.. I know it may be a little premature, but we like to be prepared.. Less to do later Wink

Till next time
Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**6 weeks 6 days**
I didn't sleep worth a durn last night, so I called off work today. MS is in high gear once again :cry: I forgot to mention earlier that I bought my first baby outfit last week Lol It's the cutest little thing! I forgot babies come out that small! Anyways, it's a little pink outfit (cause Amber the baby psychic says baby is another sister for her and she hasn't been wrong yet.. she is 3 for 3!) with Pooh and Piglet on the top lookin down into a hole and it says "we see you" in embriodery. I love it. I think we will bring Gabi home in it. And in the event that Amber is wrong, it will make a great shower gift :kaos3:
Lots to do today. Number one on the list is getting used to this new format Wink

Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**7 weeks 2 days**
Well today is the 4th anniversary of the day DH and I got married. Biggrin It seems like longer tho Blum 3 Tonight for the first time in 3 yrs, we have a sitter. We're going to a steakhouse for dinner and then off to the theater to catch a movie. I just hope this nausea curbs itself so I can enjoy my meal :? If not, I guess I can just tell myself I am suffering it for a good cause. Lately I have had the oh-so-yummy metallic taste in my mouth in the mornings. Baby has given me a total of 5 mins from when I wake up to brush it outta my mouth before I end up getting sick. I think this is gonna be a long road ahead.. But I don't mind. The end reward will be GREAT!!

Till next time~
Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**7 weeks 4 days**
I don't know what happened to me yesterday but I just felt like death warmed over. I was so weak and dizzy and crappy feeling. I took a nap and everything. When I woke up I felt less crappy, but then MS kicked back into high gear. The idea of me finally being pregnant again is havin trouble sinking in. I just can't believe it sometimes. And I am now kicking myself for gettin rid of all my baby stuff when Brendan was growing out of it. (isnt that the way it always goes?) I know it sounds like I am always bitchy (atleast it does to me) but I'm not. I am loving being pregnant, just it's off to a rocky start this time.. All my readers bear with me please.. LOL I promise it will get better Wink
Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**8 weeks 1 day**
Well, little one, I'm not so sure you're just a "one" anymore. I have been feeling flutters of movement ever since Easter (1-3 per day) and I have never felt them this early before. I go to the doctor on May 6th and I am sure she will schedule me for a u/s.. I am a lil excited of the possibility of two. And as always, I will take what He gives me and be thankful and blessed.
I told my father we were expecting for the last time and he had no kind words to say, but that is just like him. This baby will be loved by many, with or without his "blessing". Morning sickness and nausea are still in high gear, infact I have been nauseated for the last 15 hours straight. Can't wait till this subsides in (hopefully) the next few weeks.
We have finally agred upon a boy's name (and a second girl's name, justtttt incase) Now our names are: Gabriella Nicole, Victoria Rose and Jonathan James. Hopefully noone (dh) will change his mind anytime soon on liking those names, cause I think they are all great!

Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**8 weeks 4 days**

Wow I can't believe I am almost 9 weeks pregnant already. I guess it's not going as slow as I thought it was. However, my first Dr. Appt (which is on May 6) is taking forever to get here. I really wish it would hurry! I want an ultrasound! The feeling that there is more than one baby growing inside me is so strong.. (Maybe I am just going nuts) But I am not the only one who feels it! My mother, my best friend, a friend of mine whom I havent seen in 4 years (up until a week ago).. Practically everyone. Everyone except Amber, who, tho she was right on with Gender each and every time of my last three pregnancies(which is all she's been around for) has err'd in the number inside.. Every time.. She said KEnna was twin girls, Mattie was twins, and Brendan was twin boys So now what does she say? "no momma, there's only one baby in there". That kinda makes me rethink things too.
Fortunately, DH is bracing himself and gaining acceptance in the case that we are havin more than one. I kind of hope that I am havin more than one (you can say I'm nuts-go ahead). Either way, DH is gettin "fixed" after this pregnancy. This is my final pregnancy . no more.. ever. That's kind of an odd realization for me, but I have plenty of time to accept that.

**to my bellybug(s)-- Momma, daddy and your sisters and brother are very excited about you! I dream of you almost every night and feel your movements inside(a little bit anyways). I can't wait to see you inside my belly swimming around! Keep growing and moving.. We will see you soon!**

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**9 weeks**

Had to call the babydoc today to make sure I still had an appointment next Tue because of the stupid walk-off that like 90% of the Dr.'s here are participating in. Thankfully, she is not one of those Doc's Biggrin I can't believe I am almost outta "the zone".

Left my job cause they're A**holes!! But it's ok, I much rather enjoy taking care of my kids and my house anyways. DH is just about hired at two different places, and if all else fails, we can survive on my unemployment and child support. It'll be tight, but we can do it.

Two things I haven't been able to get enough of lately.. Food and Drink.. More so drink than food, but it seems like if I'm not thirsty, I'm hungry. I drink like a gallon of water, 1/2 gallon of fruit juice and a 20 oz of Dr. Pepper a day. And I'm not even going into what I eat! LOL Let's just say I may not eat alot at once, but I eat many times thru the day. I eat breakfast, snack, heavier snack, snack, dinner, snack snack. The heavier snack takes the place of my lunch cause I'm not big on lunch foods lately, so I will just have a bowl of cottage cheese with fruit coctail on top (yummy!!)

*to the BellyBug(s)-- I will hopefully hear you in one week and see you not long after that!! We all love you so much already! Just keep growing and moving!*

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**9 weeks 1 day**

All day yesterday I was havin thisweird pain I've never had before. Thru the day, I tried many things to get it to stop and it didn't, so around 10:30 I called my doctor.. and let me just note-I LOVE MY NEW DOCTOR!! She explained to me that when you first get preg and when you're not that far along, teh baby doesn't take up the whole uterus, and when you start getting farther, sometimes the stretching is painful and as long as there is no bleeding, it's most likely not a m/c (which is what I was scared of). So I went to bed, and this morning I feel fine(thankfully). Well, as fine as you can feel with constant nausea anywho. Blum 3

That's all for now.

Hugs~Di

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**9 weeks 3 days**

YAY!! It's friday! Not that that really means much of anything right now.. Every day is a day off for me Blum 3 Well, kinda! I still take care of the kids and the house, etc.

I've been feelin movement still and only 4 more days till the Dr's!! YAY! Still have all my fun nausea and heartburn and m/s. Haven't had the HB that bad till about Wed, now I get it after everything I eat. And I do mean EVERYTHING!

On a crap note, DH is acting like a complete and total A-hole today. Amber is getting out of line again (she was doing sooo wel for awhile) and in his correcting her, I felt he was a little rough with her. He asked me how I felt he dealt with her, so I told him and now he's all pissed off at e for saying that. What was I spose to do? Lie to him?"Oh yeah, honey, it's fine for you to get all up in her face and scare the living daylights out of her and push her down on the couch(she was already sitting there, but still.. there was no need for that and I told him that)" Sorry, but I'm not that kind of person. All three of my at-home kids act out once in awhile but he is roughest on Amber. He might not see it, but I do. And I don't like it. Just because she wasn't born of his seed does NOT give him the right to treat her any differently. When he accepted me, he accepted her too, she is part of the package. And for him to disrespect her and her body/personal space like that is disrespecting me too.

Blah, ok I'm done bitching..

I am loving being pregnant, relishing every moment because I know this is my last, but pleaseeeeeeee Lord can't you make it go FASTER??

Until next time!!

**Love ya my buggy baby!**

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**9 weeks 6 days**

Why is it that the week of every one of my kids' birthdays is super busy? Today is my only day to myself, and I dont even have that!!LOL Gotta clean the house today cause I wont have time tomorrow. Dr's office called this morning and moved my appt for tomorrow up to 2:00 instead of 3:20. But the good thing with that is there may be a u/s involved!!Dr has the machine right in her office!!(YAY) And now I am on hold with the bakery that is making my son's b-day cake for tomorrow to see if I can pick it up sooner than noon.

Then on Wed, we have eye appts (dh, dd and I), thur EPSDT appts for Kenna and Brendan, Friday is DD's mothers day tea at her school that I am going to. Sooooo it's a busy week!

Remember a few days ago I said I felt that my lil bellybug was plural? Well my horoscope for tomorrow basically confirmed that.. To paraphrase, it said "everything you're thinking is true, is".. But we shall find out for sure tomorrow! If she isn't a they than I am WAY farther along than I thought I was, because I've seriously popped out already. I stopped being able to wear my "normal" clothes forever ago it seems (really it's been like 3 weeks), and I am feeling movement every day. Not a whole lot of it, but enough to notice, but then again, I know what I'm feeling for it's not like this is my first preg Wink

Well, that's all for now, but I am sure I'll have alot to write about tomorrow!

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**10 weeks**

Went to the Dr. today and found out "it" is a "they". Just as I thought.. Womens intuition is rarely wrong! That was the good news of the day.. The bad news~ I have diabetes and didnt know it. The Dr says the sugars in my urine sample were well over 500 which scares me. I don't know what to think. I've never dealt with regular diabetes before. I had Gd with brendan, but it was borderline gd.. I am so upset over this. I tried to dodge it so hard for so long and it still happens.. Thanks alot, father.. Great gift to give your only daughter..

So anyways, my dr says she won't see me anymore and is transferring me to another Dr. who specializes in "high risk" pregs, and my current doc says that because I am havin twins AND am diabetic, I am high risk.. So, yay for me.. She wouldn't even do a FULL u/s on me cause she isn't gonna be my doc. But she did put the u/s thing on long enough to see the two lil circles.. Soon I will know if they are identical or fraternal, and I can't wait!!!

Am I happy about havin two bellybuggas? Hell yes.. Happy about the bedrest that is probably coming soon, no way.

*to my lil buggas- I saw you both briefly today and you look beautiful! I can't wait to hold you in my arms!*

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**10 weeks 2 days**

I'm still havin a hard time swallowing the diabetes thing.. And having twins is going to be a bigger challenge than I thought. DH acts like he doesn't want twins, and that kind of bugs me, cause it's not like I made this happen. It happened on it's own. He and I were talkin last night about what to nickname the pregnancy and he said "how about 'too damn many kids?' " I know he was most likely joking, but I didn't find it very funny Sad

Anyways, other than craving everything I CANT have, I am fine. Babies are movin, M/s still in high gear, nausea too..

*To my lil twinkie-lee's Mommy loves you and can't wait to see you movin around inside me again.. And I am even more anxious to hold you both in my arms in 6-7 months!*

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**10 weeks 4 days**

We're almost outta 'the zone' now! Another week and a few days and I will feel safer. Of course, then comes risk of premature labor thanks to this lovely gift my father had bestowed upon me. I am finding it hard as hell to eat 6 times a day like I am spose to, but so far, so good. And it's given me more energy, too.

M/S and nausea have for the most part subsided, but here to take their place is.. drumroll please... MY LOVELY OUTDOOR ALLERGIES!! (Stupid ^#( pollen and mold!!!) My nose is all crappy I just wanna cut it off.. My eyes itch, and my throat hurts from all my sneezing :cry: and oh yeah.. my sinuses are so clogged it's not even funny.

Kenna and Amber had dance class *achoo* today.

I wanna go for a walk but I feel crappy, oh so crappy. Maybe we will go anyways. The rain seems to have stopped and hell, if we get stuck in it, we can always take a bus home!

*to my twinkie lee's- I can feel you growing cause I feel the stretching in my tummy! I feel soooo close to you and every time I see a baby I get more excited about your arrival in the fall! Love~Mommy*

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**10 weeks 5 days**

Happy Mother's Day to all my readers! It's been good so far. Our church holds a mother's breakfast every year where the women sit and socialize and the men do everything so instead of breakfast in bed, I had that. The my kiddo's pampered me with the gifts they picked out for me. Sweet pea body wash, bubble bath and lotion, and a photo album. I'm all about scented stuff and this sweet pea stuff smells REALLY good! I can't wait to use it.

We've decided to send Amber to church camp for a week in June cause she "REALLY REALLY REALLY want's to go, mom". The more I think about it, the more it's gonna be wierd having her gone from me for that long. Ever since she was 1, I have always been with her and never been without her for longer than 2 days, and that was right around the corner at my sister's house. Where was I till she was 1, you ask? When she was 5 months old I went away to school to get a trade under my belt. I wanted SO bad for my father to be proud of me for continuing the family trade (everyone on my dad's side of the family has been involved in construction, so I took carpentry). I regrettably did that, knowing I would miss a few firsts of Ambers. But in the interest of not being a welfare mom for the rest of my life, I sucked it all up and went. 7 months later I graduated (way ahead of schedule cause I busted my ass there) and came home only to find out that most of the construction places around here wouldnt hire a female carpenter and the one's that would, would only hire you if you had your own truck which I didn't have. So anyways, that's that story. But hey, atleast I could build my own dream home now! Wink

I can't believe it's already almost the middle of May. I hope the rest of my pregnancy goes this fast!

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**11 weeks 4 days**

I would have wrote this entry sooner but there has been soooooo much crap going on and I have been super busy (lucky to have time to remember to breathe!!)
I went to my new doc, my perinatologist, on tue and she says there is no chance for a VBAC cause of my weight, reason for my last c/s, and the amount of scar tissue on my uterus (it looks like there is a maple leaf on the durn thing!! I dunno HOW they sewed it up but DAMN!!) And speaking of my weight.. I lost 5 lbs in one week on the ultra-feel-like-you-are-always-eating/pregnancy diabetic plan. The plan: eat 50 zillion times a day (it feels like that anywho) and do either 1/2 hr of exercise or yoga a day to keep everything toned and disciplined.. I opt for yoga cause it relaxes me physically and mentally while I am working and training my muscles.

Anywho, babies look nice and healthy. Their HB's were 168 and 173 on tue. Tho, with the u/s my Dr tried to tell me I was only 8 wks 4 days at that time and tried tellin me she was movin my EDD to Dec 19th.. But I came home and did the math and there is NO WAY that I could be due the 19th cause that means that I concieved on March 28th, but my preg was confirmed 4 days after that.. So, not possible.. Plus that would mean that my LMP was sometime in March.. again, not possible. Why do Dr's act like you don't know when you could have got pg or when your last AF was?!?! AF last showed her ugly head on Feb 26th so two weeks after that is when I got pg, not no damn MArch 28th or whatever.. I'm just kinda worried about what she's sayin cause I dont usually go into labor on my own and she is wanting to schedule a c/s @ 38 weeks.. but her 38 wks is really 40 wks in my case and I just don't want anything to be wrong with my beans!! That's what they looked like on the u/s a couple of lil beans!!

**to my twinkie-lee's- I love you!! Keep growing and bouncin around!! We are starting to get ready for your arrival!! It's coming soon (but not soon enough)**

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**12 weeks 1 day**

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh I'm annoyed right now.. All I keep thinking about is the diabetic council lady who called me today informing me of all of this stuff that MY DOCTOR failed to tell me.. Supposedly I need insulin.. HTF can she know that without even giving me a blood glucose test?!?! There is no possible way that I can need insulin.. With as much sugar as I consumed and craved in my first few weeks of preg, I would have been DEAD if I was diabetic enough to need insulin shots..

I am really starting to think that this DR doesnt know her a-- from a hole in the ground.. First she says that "you must have been off with your LMP date, cause you're due Dec 19th by my calc and the u/s" yeah, well that puts my conception date at March 27th, and my next period due on April 12th.. Wanna explain to me then how this PG was confirmed TEN DAYS before my AF was due?? NONE of what she said re: my GA makes any sense whatsoever and I swear to GAWD that if either of the other two hospitals here were worth a spit, I would switch doctors!! What's next? One of my babies "mysteriously dissappears"???? Hell, it wouldnt surprise me, with the way things are going with her.

I am not going by what she said. I know when my LMP was and I know how far along you have to be to have a PG confirmed by a stick test so I am goin by my original DD. So my babies are small, that doesn't mean that I am any less pg than I really am. All my kids were smal at birth(my kids from DH anyways)

Alright, I think I am done yelling and whining for now.. LOL..

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

** 12 weeks 3 days**

MEN!!Ugh! DH has been such a prick today. We are broke as all get-out right now, and he KNOWS this.. what money we DO have has to get him back and forth to his new job and what does he do? Goes out and buys lunch with it!! GRRRRRRRR!! We had JUST enough to get him back and forth (BTW, untill this fall neither one of us drive-- long story) and he knew that! I wanted to reach thru the phone and slap the crap outta him when he told me he had bought lunch!! So now he has to walk to and from work till Wed when we get some money in. HE tried givin me attitude about it sayin "Well I was hungry" and I was like "well we have lunch stuff HERE!" and he goes "well I'm not there now am I?" ... *Well you were this morning before you left for work weren't you** And then he hangs up on me!! So needless to say, he is gonna get the silent treatment today when he gets home..

Babieswise, all is good.. my lil beans are makin me VERY sleepy and givin me very frequent trips to the potty.. Maybe that's their revenge for my laziness in not doing my Yoga for a few days. I really need to get back into that.

I am voluntarily switching doctors soon cause this Peri I see now is jumping the gun too much and it's making me VERY uncomfortable around her. So I am going to start going to the Dr who performed my last c/s. Dr Beaton. He is an excellent Dr! It's rare that a dr can make such a huge impression on me in such a short amount of time as he did. Just in doing my aftercare in the hosp and at 2 and 6 weeks, he was great. And I know several people who are PT's of his who wouldnt see anyone else for all the $$ in the world. I am 100% confident that he will take good care of me.. And I know he doesn't jump the gun like Dr W does.

**My lil beans- you guys should be about "twinkie" size soon!! Keep growing and movin!

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**13 weeks 1 day**

I'm really excited about what I have planned to do with the cradle that was given to us. Right now, it is just cream colored so we are gonna repaint it. Ricky has decided he doesn't like Care Bears anymore. So we have decided to go with celestial moons and stars. We are gonna paint the base of the cradle and the straight parts on it midnight blue, and the little stripes on it are gonna be gold, and I am gonna buy some moons and stars stencils and paint those on the flat parts too. I thought that would be different and cute.

Pregnancy is goin well but my Dr wants me to go and get all these new tests for my diabetes and crap. I'm gonna do them, but I am gonna suggest to her about giving me the under the tongue insulin stuff instead of the shots. **keeping fingers crossed** And I gotta do a 24 hr urine collection to make sure my kidneys are still functioning properly. **again crossing fingers.. I don't need anymore complications**

That's about all for now. Write more later!

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**13 weeks 4 days**

Kinda OT here, but I got something yesterday that I have never had.. Contacts!! And I love them!! Ricky got them, too. It's just odd to see my WHOLE face (and be able to see it :P)

Babywise, I was doing great up till this morning when I woke up crampy and spotty. The spotting is tapering off, but the cramps are still there. Feels like it's in my right ovary.. Yucka!! Hopefully it will pass..

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**14 weeks 6 days**

Went to my appt today and she did another scan for heartbeats, and once again only saw one baby(she heard the other last time, but didn't even hear him/her today). She doesn't really seem that worried about it but to say that she is gonna do a transvag u/s at my next appt (June 24th#3:30)to see if she picks the other baby up then.. I am so nervous and worried and stressed and ALL of me hopes I'm freaking over nothing.

But I did get a little silver lining to that grey cloud today. While Dr was searching high and low for the other baby, she was checkin out the one she did find, and happened to notice "what appears to be"her ovaries forming.

Amber is at summer camp till Saturday and I miss the hell outta her.. Figures she is fine and MOMMY gets the separation anxiety :cry:

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**15 weeks 4 days**

~New PG development~ Two solid days of the "gags".. All day long, everything and anything with a scent, texture, or a funky look. I was nauseated yesterday BIG TIME (made grocery shopping really fun. But today's "gags" weren't accompanied by nausea, they were just there. Slicing strawberries for Ricky's daddys day dessert*gag*(and I love strawberries!!) opening the veggies to go with dinner*gag*. watching the syrup oozze outta the bottle onto my kid's pancakes*gag*. It's about got me on the brink of insanity. Hope it goes away soon! I have not ever had this with any other pregnancy and I'm kinda wondering if I am the only one on earth who has been blessed with this gift.

I've been feelin alot of movement lately, which tickles me pink! Also, I am beyond "obviously" pregnant to passersby. They all think I'm about ready to pop. I can't count the number of times I was asked yesterday "oh!! Any time now huh?" and the look on the faces when I say " not till November or December!"

Amber came home yesterday~YAY~!! She had a ball at camp and I'm glad she did, but she knew we all missed her, and she even admitted that she cried to come home three times.. Mon, Wed and Fri. I told her tho that I was glad she stayed to have fun!

I've taken a liking to the name Joryn but the problem is that Ricky doesn't like it :cry: . What a shame.. That just means that I will have to knock him out long enough to fill out Jory's birth certificate Wink j/k..

~To my Beaniebabes~ I hope you are both still in there. I really want to meet both of you in a few months! Mommy and Daddy love you and look forward to your bouncing each day. I can't wait to see you wiggling and bouncing about on the u/s monitor next week!~

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**16 weeks 6 days**

I have been crying on and off all afternoon since I got back.. Nothing but bad news bad news bad news. Twin A is gone, and babygirl(formerly twin B.. that's gpnna take some getting used to ) had a way elevated heartrate. I am on pretty seriously limited activity until there is a decent drop in her heartrate. I am such at a loss for words about all this right now. It's so not fair, It's so horrible, but yet I am grateful that I do have one healthy baby to bring into the world.. Do I sound harsh and bitchy for saying that? I hope not because I AM sad that I am no longer an expectant mommy of twins.. God Bless my lil Angel babe.

I just feel so cursed. Why? Why do I have to lose TWO children in a little over 3 years? Another piece of my heart has broken off, never to be found again..

To my bug and my Angel~ Mommy loves you both very much and I know you miss each other, babygirl, you showed that today by your stressed-out heartrate.. Buggygirl, just hang in there and keep growing stronger. I can't wait to meet you in 21 weeks. Love~ Mommy, Daddy and your sibs.

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**17 weeks 2 days**

Well, I went to the diabetic lady on Wed.. she gave me my "poker" ( testing pen and lancets) and monitor. Ever since I started monitoring my sugars, my levels have been below target (yay) well, with the exception of after last night's Golden Corrall dinner. BAD DI!! They have a dessert bar with two sugar-free desserts. Jello and masty lookin pudding. Well dummy me looks at all the other stuff too and begin reasoning with myself.. "OK if I just take a small square of cheesecake-twice the size of a jolly rancher candy, mind you- and like 4 of these apple slices from some apple cobbler and OH LOOK!! bananna pudding.. So scoop. scoop scoop they all went on my plate.. (btw it was one spoonful of bananna pudding) Now I'm with my gramma havin dinner and I figure as we chat, I will eat my sugar free jello, and take a nibble at each of the other 3 things. Well, I am ashamed to admit that "a nibble" turned into all of it Sad so my sugar was 3 pts over target after dinner last night.. Still not bad but I feel like shit about it.

OK that's that.. Next!!!!

I had my appt with my new OB today and OMG I wish I would have started seeing her sooner.. She is great! She said with my levels staying (almost always) under target, there is no reason that I need to be seen every two weeks (till 26-28 ) andddddddddd.. **Drumroll please** she is gonna let me try a VBAC!!!!! :thewave: And on top of that, she gave me a book of baby names cause I told her me and Ricky were havin a hard time picking one. She really takes her patients concerns into consideration and I like that.

Babygirl looks good, she said but the placenta is layin all but on top of her. She was suckin her one hand and playing with her foot with the other. OH what a nice u/s pic that would have made!(too bad it was too light cause I had just went potty before they took me back :cry: ) Without me even havin to ask, she stated that it didn't look problematic at this point, but that they will keep an eye on it. How spoiled I feel not even having to ASK my Dr about what's going on. And even more so that my answer doesn't come with a heaping helping of attitude. Wink

Babygirlbug~Your big sister Kenna and I saw you today. Kenna was very excited and so was I! I finally found a doctor who is good to us. And it will only be a matter of 21-22 weeks before you are in my arms. Keep growing and bouncing!

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**18 weeks 1 day**

Wow! I can't believe in just 13 days I will be at the halfway point already. I've been noticing that lil miss Buggie likes to lay about 1/2 inch to the right of my bellybutton. That's where I always feel her layin when I poke around for her. All is going well babywise. Been testin my sugars like I'm spose to 4x a day. The only ones I have a problem with are my fasting ones first thing in the AM.. Soooooo the dietician says the endocrinologist is prolly gonna put me on night insulin shots.. As much as I was dead set against it before, I guess once a day isn't that bad, especially if it's gonna help ensure that my lil one is born VBAC and not be too big, or have too much sugar in her system, or taht my sugar isn't gonna go outta control.

It's been hotter'n hell lately here. Wouldn't be so bad if not for the humidity. All this blessed heat has inspired me to cut all my hair off. I feel much cooler with it shorter anyways.

We have the cradle ALMOST done now, so soon I will be able to post pics of it. Well, not really soon, we still have to get the bumper pads and sheets for it first. I want to post the finished product, not half-done.

Names have been the topic of discussion in many of mine and hubby's chats together. There's just so many that we like, so we have decided to let our parents and other kids help with the process. We're gonna make a list of all the names we like, then each of our parents gets to pick out 3 or 4 that they like, then of those, our girls each pick one. From our girls' two, we choose.

Miss buggy~ I feel you bouncin still and each day that passes is another day closer to having you in our arms. Love~ mommy

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

**19 weeks 5 days**

Holy cow I can't believe I'm already almost halfway there! 5 months and boy am I feelin pregnant now! Not to mention I am really looking the part! Lil miss nameless is bouncin all over the place and spreadin my hips apart like crazy. It hurts soo bad when I turn over at night cause my hips POP and omgg pain shoots!! Just like with Brendan and Madison. My sugars have been excellent to the point that all diabetics I know are jealous of me cause they cant ever get their sugars so low w/o meds.

I have this odd feeling that next week at my u/s my EDD is gonna be moved to some time in November. Maybe that's just me cause when I lie or sit down I can feel every part of this lil girl. From head to knees to feetsies and hands and that is odd for someone my size at this stage in a preg.

I have decided that I am gonna crochet a baby blanket for her, since noone else will make me one.. Meanies :cry: Goin to Walmart tonight to get some of that baby multi yarn and some white also so I can alternate stripes. I think that would be cute.. and then maybe scallop the edges in pink..

Maybe someday I will figure out how to get pics on here so I can post my really-5-month-but-looks-9-month pregnant belly and next week's 3-D u/s pics.. lol

Babygirl~ I feel so close to you and I love feelin your little kicks and rolls and such. Just a few more months and you will be in our arms forever.. And please show daddy that you do not hate him, because he thinks you do when you play hide and seek with him.

Joined: 04/03/03
Posts: 153

Never thought I would have to write this entry.

We love you Jayden and will miss you so much. Your big sister Madison and your twin will keep you company till we can be reunited.
You are so beautiful, my baby boy. I'm sorry things didn't work like they should have for us. Mommy's heart and arms are so empty without you.

Just watch us from heaven and know that my spirit holds you all day long.

Love~mommy