Tonight has been the most physically taxing night so far! Squishy has punched me 4 times in the hip, hard enough to make me curse; she has kicked my ribs at least twice; and my back and thighs ache like I've done weightlifting.
I am not a happy camper.
Oh yes... And the most comfortable position to sleep in is on my back but that means I can't breathe.
I'm seriously starting to wonder if I can make it another 8 weeks! Just make your grand entrance already!
Had my baby shower yesterday. It was really great! We organised it ourselves (for which DH felt odd) but we had a great turnout. Lots of people, wine & beer, good food, flowing conversation. I'm very happy about it. Got lots of pressies to boot!
Unfortunately today I was shattered because of it. All the standing and talking and excitement totally exhausted me. I had huge trouble getting comfy in the wee hours of the morning. The belly hurt just rolling over from side to side. Around 5.30am I went and slept on the sofa. Could hardly move around today.
Kind of had another fight with DH last night. We went to couples' therapy and unfortunately started discussing the fight we had the previous week and things just went pear-shaped from there. I got so tense that the contractions started again but quite intensely. Then I started crying and couldn't stop for almost 2 hours, which only made the contractions worse. My hormones are so out of whack lately. I'm going to up my medication tonight and see if it makes any difference. I looked to see if my psychiatrist has any appointments available this week but unfortunately not so I have to wait for my appointment next week.
We made the decision because I've been so unstable the last few weeks that I'm going to increase my medication again and won't breastfeed. I'm going to talk to my OB tomorrow about whether I could breastfeed just for a couple days so that Squishy can get the collostrum.
I am so exhausted, physically and emotionally. The belly aches from all the tension Part of me just wants her to arrive now so that I can be physically a bit more comfortable than I am currently. I can't imagine having to go thru another 6 weeks and become even less comfortable. She is super strong and leaves me feeling bruised when she kicks or punches. And sleeping is nearly impossible because no position is really comfortable. Right now I will gladly take waking up every 2 hours while getting solid sleep over the twilight i'm running around in right now.
ARGH!! I am so over being pregnant! but at the same time I'm not I still like feeling her move around in my belly (when it doesn't hurt like a beast). I just can't imagine another 4-6 weeks of being this uncomfortable and knowing that she is going to grow even more!!! I'm not sleeping well; I can't sit comfortably or get up off the sofa easily; I can't walk for more than 10 min without the contractions coming on; I also can't socialise with friends and talk and laugh without contractions starting; and to top it all off I have been feeling like I'm getting a cold for about a week now. Help!
It's 5.30am and I've been awake since 3am. I am so wide awake that I decided to study! So I finished the remaining 1.5 chapters and now I'm watching HP1 (for the billionth time).
I suddenly hit an all-time low of being uncomfortable after lunch yesterday. I think Squishy had a growth spurt and at the same time decided to engage properly. I noticed, when I went for my 3am wee, that her bum/feet are now dead center instead of off to the right like she's been the rest of the pregnancy. I also have intense pressure "down there" which makes getting up and sitting down very difficult. I've also had 4 contractions so far of much higher intensity than previously. Still not "ouch" but enough for me to notice the difference. Also the contractions are starting at the top of my uterus now instead of down at my bladder like all the others have done.
Wrote my second exam today. Only 2 left but I dont know if I can go thru with it... Had another breakdown yesterday during my psychiatry appointment because of the exhaustion. And my last 2 exams are back-to-back. But how to convince DH that its pointless to write the final 2 when I'm sure I failed today's exam? Because he will say that I dont know for sure and therefore I have to try pass the other 2 in case I scraped thru on this one. I am so not coping with the discomfort and exhaustion. And I constantly feel like I've been kicked between the legs.
So FurBaby was acting really weird last night.... she was pacing back and forth around the apartment, and every time I got up to go to the bathroom she would follow me like she was scared to let me out of her sight. She was also more snuggly and clingy last night than she has been in a very long time. The only time she seemed calm was when I was holding her.
I had a few contractions last night that were sore enough to wake me up. And I also had very weird sensations: like heart palpitations as well as a spinning feeling. So I relocated to the sofa and slept the rest of the night half sitting up which seemed to resolve that sensation.
I wonder if she can sense something we're not aware of yet...
I've also been feeling a little nesty today. If I was able to move easier I would probably have washed all the baby clothes and then reorganised all the dressers so that I could pack the baby stuff away, but all I managed was to pack the dishwasher before the contractions and "kicked between the legs" pain started up again. So instead I went online and double-checked my choices of bottles, warmer & sterilizer, and placed the order for them. I also picked up a pack of newborn diapers and wipes from the drug store.
I just finished putting together the list of things that need to be packed for going to the hospital and the list of things that I'll need to stay at the hospital and now I'm feeling nervous and excited!!
Woke up at 3 am and couldn't get comfortable again. Been having contractions and cramps and backache since 10 pm last night. So the doc sent me to L&D to get checked out.
The cab ride there made the contractions so much worse, in fact while I was waiting to get triaged I couldn't just sit, I had to bend and stretch and move around to make it feel a little better. But then after they got me into a room the monitor only picked up 4 small contractions in the 90 min I was hooked up. I'm sure I felt more than that in that time, although they weren't as strong as previously. I think they put the monitor in the wrong spot, the nurse put it on my belly button this time; previously it was placed above the belly button closer to the fundus and slightly to the right.
They did an internal exam and said that my cervix has softened and is a finger-tip dilated but is still fairly long so they sent me home. Have an appt with the doc on Friday and he'll probably check me again and we'll take it from there.
I have decided not to write my exams on tomorrow & Thurs. I just do not have the emotional reserves left to deal with all of this and I am nowhere near prepared. I will ask the doc to write a letter to the college about all the troubles I've had in the pregnancy so far and will then request to have the exams deferred to next May/June. I don't know if I will even be able to cope with it then plus a little baby but at least it could give me the option of still completing this degree.
I am going to do the bare minimum to survive from now onwards until the baby is born because I am not coping with just moving around the apartment. I never thought I would be "that" person when pregnant and maybe it's just because I'm unemployed that I'm letting myself be...
Had my check up on Friday and I've put on 5 lb in 2 weeks
So I've been sleeping on the couch for the last 3 nights and the difference is amazing! It's lonely to not be next to DH but I am waking up with so much more energy and my back aches only slightly It feels so good to have some energy back.
Been tidying up crazily every morning. Started packing the hospital bags.