So, I peed on the stick. Then I peed on another one....two very dark lines on both.
I had been praying nearly every day that I could get the answer to my question: Are we done or should we have another child?
I guess I just got my answer!!
This is still sinking in...I will be the mother of 6 children. 6. Half a dozen. A six pack. Seems SOO much more than 5, why is that?? Of course, Ed is just worried that I will be sick and miserable but is thrilled to have another. I am still in denial somewhat, and I haven't been sick which throws me for a loop--I have never been pregnant and NOT been violently, horribly ill for months.
I am uncharacteristically NOT sharing this information with anyone--only Ed and one friend know. I have my first OB appointment on the 19th--I plan on sharing the news then, after I have the ultrasound and see for myself that things are as they should be.
Mother's Day was great. The kids all brought me up breakfast in bed (Ed made Eggs Benedict...oh, how I love him) and had all these sweet little cards for me. Brianne (13) wrote me a poem that made me cry...she and I struggle so much with each other at times because we are both so willful, I was glad to hear such sweet words from her.
One of the sweetest parts of my day was while at church. Emma (4) was sitting next to me and snuggling and hugging me. She turned to me and said, "Happy Mother's Day....you're like the toy that comes with the meal!" I had to choke back laughter!! It was so adorable.
As for the "hidden little one". I have been finding myself more nauseated. Yesterday Ed was eating something in the car, and I had to ask him to roll down the window, the smell just got to me. And another night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I was so sick to my stomach I had a hard time falling back asleep. So maybe things are okay after all.
Only one week til my ob appointment...hope to see that all is well then!!
Oh, yeah. Check the box that signs me up for full blown morning/afternoon/evening sickness. It has gotten progressively worse since Sunday and now I can't even open the fridge or freezer for fear of running into a smell that will send me gagging to the bathroom.
I went yesterday and got some b-6--and I have had a little bit better day today. Whether or not it is because of the b-6? I will have to wait and see. Nevertheless, I was actually able to get some things done around the house. Ed is being so patient and pretty much just taking care of everything and letting me rest.
We told Brianne, our oldest dd yesterday. I knew she already knew--she has watched me do this too many times not to know all the signs. She is thrilled, of course. She loves her little brothers and sister so much. I am so very grateful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful dd...she is such a help to me.
I think I am going to "out" myself to my other birth board. I have been wanting to wait until after my Monday ob appt, but I am sure people on my birth board come here and may already know, so I might as well spill it!!
First of all, still sick as a dog and if any of my other 7 pregnancies is an indication, I can look forward to many more weeks of it.
I had a scare when I went to the doctor's appt. When she did the vaginal scope u/s, she couldn't see anything...brought in another doc, he couldn't see anything. My ovary was dropped, and I had a cyst, but my uterus seemed to be empty. SO! They took all kinds of blood tests and told me that they would call me. It made for a weird anniversary night (Ed and I's 15th) because we were left thinking, "well?? baby or not??"
The next day, she called and said that my hormone levels indicated that something should be visible on u/s, and that they wanted me to come into radiology asap for a full u/s. Well, I couldn't take it, so I called radiology right away and told the woman I needed to get in quick so that I could find out what the heck was going on. She was so good and told me to start drinking water and get in there right away.
Well, I wasn't on the table for 1 minute when the tech said she saw the fetus and it had cardiac activity. For some reason the vaginal just wasn't picking it up. But! Everything looks fine and we are due between Christmas and New Years.
I am at that stage that I remember from my other pg's where I am just feeling guilty and a little sorry for myself...it comes from being so sick. Of course I don't like being this sick, but the hardest part is looking at my children and dh and feeling helpless to do anything. I have no ability to do much other than lay here and try not to throw up. Poor Ed is shouldering so much of the workload...and I feel horrible about that. I have been on such a roll with everything--really on top of the house and the kids and feeling good--then I am slammed back into the woman who will do nothing for the next 3 months but lay on the couch/bed. Ed tries to make me feel better, and he did remind me that summer is coming (kids are out of school in 2 weeks) and that life will be so much easier for us all then. He is kind to me. I know that we will al get through and that once I feel better it won't seem so bad....but right now I am just feeling upset.
As for the little bean: I don't feel connected yet to you, but I know that Daddy and all of your brothers and sisters are SOO happy and excited for you to join the family. I will be too, trust me. Mommy just has a hard time the first few months with sickness. I look at your brothers and sisters and I just think, "wow! what a blessing to get to have another one of these terrific people!" Grow safe and strong for me.
I am having a pretty good day.
Translation: I am out of bed, and I have only thrown up 2 times, and I haven't taken my meds yet...this is a good thing!
I am still too sick to do anything, but I am trying to be patient and remember that this too shall pass. I am worried that my poor children and dh are suffering more than anything, and yet they are so good and SO very happy about the baby.
I have decided, sadly, that this has to be my last child. I say sadly even though I wasn't expecting or really wanting to have more. It's just sad to understand that this is it....that this is the end of this stage of my life. But it is happy, too because I have been overly blessed with the children I do have and treasure each one. But--being in the throws of this sickness has reminded me that I have a responsiblity to the children that are here now. They need me to be healthy and strong and capable of meeting their needs. Ed needs me to be a functioning and equal partner, not having to shoulder so much of the workload himself. I feel more with this pg that I need to get healthy and stay healthy to meet the needs of my family.
I am blessed to have all of the support and help that I have! I am grateful that my children and dh so happily welcome a new child, and with it, all the additional responsibilities it brings to them. But my time and season as a mother continuing to have babies is over. What a wonderful ride this has been! I will savor each moment of this pg, this baby, this time.
Well, nothing like waiting a month and a half to write in here...
I am not as sick as I had been, but I am still not feeling "okay." I still remain nauseated pretty much all the time, but I haven't thrown up as much lately.
I got to hear the heartbeat at my appt on Monday--that is always a neat experience. I still feel nothing however in the way of moving around of baby. I can feel my uterus, and the little "lump" but no movement feelings yet.
I am having a rough go of it lately....recognizing that hormones are running crazy does little to help. I feel like I have PPD before having the baby. I am like one gigantic frayed nerve. It takes nothing to have me crying, screaming, throwing things. This is NOT a fun time.