I'm 21 years old and have been married since 2 days before my 20th birthday (June 2005). My husband and I decided we wanted to start a family this past summer...so, we started trying in July. And I think I must be the queen of fertility because we found out in early august that I was el prego! We were so excited. My husband honestly couldn't contain himself, he decided we had to drive to our parents house and tell them THAT NIGHT. I was only five weeks.
I had no sickness at all, only my boobs hurt like crazy and I had to pee like every five minutes. And I was exhausted. But I was really anxious because I was reading in a pregnancy book and it said those who don't have morning sickness are more likely to miscarry. And I felt fine. So here I am stressing and stressing...then my boobs don't hurt anymore....and then at seven weeks I started bleeding. I was nervous because I ddin't really know what the difference between spotting and just plain old bleeding was....so I went into the clinic the next day...still bleeding...even heavier...and the doctor said I had a miscarriage. The next three days were just a nightmare...in and out of the hospital, ultrasounds, numerous internal examinations....I was spent, emotionally and physically.
So that was the end of our first attempt. We were very sad. I didn't think it would be so bad, I mean, we'd only known for two weeks...but it was like you have this precious little secret inside of you...and then it's gone.
So. We gave it a rest for a while. My doctor said to wait three months (but a doctor at the hospital said to start trying again when ever the heck I wanted) so we met them halfways and started trying again in October. This time I knew before I even took a preg test. My boobs hurt, I had to pee all the time....hooray! The queen of fertility strikes again! I just found out two days ago for sure, and here I am five weeks again!
I don't want to stress myself out again. I think the mistake I made last time was reading too many books and freaking myself out. All I did was think about all the things that could go wrong....and then they did. This time I am determined to play it cool. Because I really want to keep this one.
I have such an overwhelming desire for a child. Everytime I see someone with a baby, or a see a woman with a big beautiful belly, I just want to grab it and keep it for myself (without somehow depriving this other woman of her child...ha) I know it will be hard, and I will have to grow up immensely...but I want it. I feel like praying "God, please let me keep this one. I know it's only in between the size of a grain of sand and a grain of rice, but I love it. Could I please keep it?"
I think I will just make my first appointment at 8 weeks be my goal. If I can make it til then, that will be an improvement. Last time I made it to seven. Here we go! Wish me luck!
Last edited by sandraleigh; 06-06-2008 at 11:41 AM.
So here we are seven weeks! I am excited because this is when things went wrong last time, but I am almost at that wonderful 8 week mark when I will go to see my doctor for my first appointment this time around. My husband and I are finding ourselves not willing to get too excited...we're a little jaded now. I just can't wait to make sure eveything is ok when I see my doctor, and then I think I will feel better. The only symptom I am having is sore boobs. Oh, and one day I put a hersheys kiss in my mouth and I wanted to puke. Felt REALLY nauseous. But I spit it out and had a drink of water and all was well.
So far we have just told my mom and his mom (and I'm assuming they've told their spouses). My dad does not live close like my mom and stepdad do, I'm thinking we will wait to tell him and my grandparents when we go to see them for New Years. Oh, and I also told a girl at work. She had a miscarriage too, about a year ago, so we talk a lot about it. She thinks I'm going to be fine this time. I'm just trying not to think of it at all. Last time we were so excited it was all we thought about....this time I am just trying to let it be, and hopefully my little treasure inside of me will grow and be healthy.
Anyways, I will hold on for another week, and let you know how my doctor's appt goes!
I guess I was crazy to assume that I would find time to write in here over Christmas holidays, so here I am finally, the end of January and 14 weeks!
My Dr's appt in December went fine. What was the most exciting was having my first ultrasound on January 10th. My husband and I went in there expecting to see some little peanut shaped blob....it had fingers and toes!!! And little arms and legs, and it gave us some nice little stretches...it was so awesome...it made the fact that I had a little person growing inside of me very real. We got to listen to it's heartbeat, and it was at 150/min. The technician said that was good, they are usually in between 100-180. She gave us a due date of July 20th. Something that also makes this seem more real is the fact that we're in the new year now. Before it was like, Oh, we're going to have a baby next summer...December to July seems so far away. But January to July? That's up close and personal! That's this year! We're having a baby THIS summer!
We sent our little ultrasound picture to all our family with the heading "Our Little Peanut" so now everyone is emailing and calling to check up and see how our little peanut is doing. My husband and I like to joke around alot...we're pretty silly people....he asked me what kind of peanut I would like it to be (probably expecting a 'boy' or 'girl' peanut kind of answer) and I said "honey roasted". So now we talk to our little honey roasted peanut every day! I'm very excited.
Lots of my clothes have stopped fitting. For work I have to wear dress pants...The ones I have have two buttons, and I can only do up the bottom one. The top one that goes across my belly just will NOT reach. So I have to pull my shirt down over top extra low so no one can see that my pants won't do up! Heading in to my fourth month, I think it's time I did a wee bit of shopping. I'm a fairly slender person to start with, so you can tell that my belly is expanding quite easily. We haven't told the general public yet....only family and a few friends know...but I don't think I will be able to hide it much longer!
Anyways, I am doing well. I go to see my Dr. this Wednesday for another monthly checkup. I feel good that I have nothing much bad to report. Things are going very well. Hooray! I am one third done! This time is going to work out.
So tonight at my choir concert I told all my friends. It was exciting to tell people. The only people who don't know now are the company I work for and all our church friends. I am anxious to tell everyone! It was fun tonight to let everyone know.
I went to the Dr. this past Tuesday for a quick check up. He took my blood pressure and measured my tummy, and we booked my next ultrasound for Feb. 26th. I am excited for that! I can't wait to see all those fingers and toes again! I can't remember if I said this, but we have decided not to find out the sex, s I hope the U/S tech doesn't blurt it out or something!
I picked a really cute color for painting the nursery (tentatively). It's a really fun bright mango-ey orange. Very summery. And very unisex!
Anyways, it was a LONG day today.
But hooray for being in my second trimester!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now the whole world knows. I am getting a little too chubby for people not to notice. I told all my church friends and the company knows now too. I am just fretfully awaiting the day when the owner of the company will call me up and take me to lunch and try to convince me that I HAVE to come back to work.....HA! As if. I am so so so ready to be done working. I was not cut out for the working world. On the other hand, I am excited to go to work tomorrow because I bought some new maternity work pants!!! Hooray! I think if I wore my pre-preg pants for one more day the buttons would have fallen off. I am so ready to be comfy. Mmmm....baggy clothes.
So I am having some trouble with names. There are lots of names I like, but I am having trouble piecing them together nicely. Girls I am doing pretty good with.
Hubby and me were really set on Emma Leigh even before we got pregnant, but now I am second thinking it, because Emma is the most popular girls name of 2006. I don't want her to be a kindergarten and have ten other Emma's in her class. So I'm leaning towards Ella. I like it just as much and it's only like, the 80th most popular or something.
Boys is more difficult.
That's the only one we have pieced together nicely, but then again....Liam is the most popular boys name of 2006. BLAH! So then I just have a lot of random names that I'm not sure what to do with.
Who knows. I'll have to work on that.
Anwyays, things are going well, I feel fine. I had a day or two when it ws a little less than fine, but not so much that I can't function. I am anxiously awaiting the chance to feel my little peanut move inside of me...only a few more weeks I hope. I am 16 weeks 4 days today! Hooray!
Well, not much to update in 2 days. I just thought I'd post a link here to my MSN Space because I posted some belly pics and my 12 week U/S pic on there. (Couldn't figure out how to do it on here, we have a Mac and it wasn't working). But for anyone who's interested, here is the link so you can see pics. http://erstwhilepensetonian.spaces.live.com/
My house is falling apart. Ok, maybe just my bathroom. Seriously though, I cannot wait to do renovations in May. We are going to renovate the bathroom and the office (which is turning in to the nursery). The bathroom literally has tiles falling off of the walls in the shower/tub. It's supremely gross....new shower/tub, new flooring, new sink, new mirror....ahhh....that sounds so nice. The office should be exciting as well. Right now we live in a house that was built in the 40's and I think this must be the original wallpaper....or one of these layers must be original....yuck. We are going to tear out the walls and just re drywall and everything.
I decided I'm going to paint the room a really fun and bright mango-ey orange, and I found the cutest bedding to go along. We aren't going to find out the sex, so I wanted something neutral, and I think this is perfect! http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=23873
I am going to get it sent to a friend of my stepmom's in Florida and she will pick it up for me when she goes down there next month (Gap doesn't ship to Canada)
Hooray for a room for the baby!
17 weeks, 4 days.
Isn't that nuts that I'm almost half done? I'm feeling very....excited! Chris keeps getting scared every time he sees my bare belly...lol, I have to remind him it's only going to get bigger!
My next U/S is on the 26th, and I go to see my Dr. again on March 7th. That means I get to hear baby heart beat twice in the next couple weeks! I am glad for that because I am anxious to make sure there is still a little peanut in there. I'm kind of in a phase where I don't really feel any movement at all yet, and I'm just anxious. I can't wait to see it inside there moving around...it'll seem real all over again, just like last time. When you can't see it and I still can't feel it, it just seems pretend. So I'm excited for that.
I went into a baby store today that's in the strip mall where I work (I've been staying out of there faithfully because I didn't want to start looking at things too early) but today at work it wasn't busy so I just nipped out to have a peek. BLAH! There is so much stuff to get hey? Crib, change table, dresser, car seat, stroller, mattress, bedding, eventually a high chair....phew. And we have nothing at all right now, because this is our first and it's not like we have any extra furniture lying around, we've only been married a year and a half, and this is our first house. Well, it'll come. I'm sure our families will want to help out a great deal, since it is the first grandchild on both sides. I'll stop stressing. But it will be time to think seriously about those things very soon.
I decided I like Jacob Micah for a boy's name. I'll have to run it by Chris tonight and see what he thinks. Last night he mentioned he really likes Heather Esther for a girl....I'm not sold on it though. I like Ella Madison better. Lots of time for that too though!
Anyways, time to go do laundry.....I've only got one pair of maternity pants, and I wear them every day to work, and I haven't had a day off in over a week....they need to be washed...lol.
Took some more belly pictures last night when I was feeling particularly fat......(of course I had just eaten an entire package of Sidekicks, so it's part baby, part noodles...lol) Seriously, check them out at the link below....my hubby is calling me a porker now....lol. But that's ok, he bought me 6 pounds of gummy worms and 12 pounds of my favourite cereal today for Valentines day.....lol....mmmm....18 pounds of sugar....I love sugar...I mean, my husband. lol.
Just got a call from the Ultrasound tech confirming my U/S next Monday (only 4 days!!!!) I am excited....all the ladies on the July 07 board have been sharing all their beautiful liuttle peanut pictures and I want some of my own!
So, we went away for the weekend to Alberta for a wedding, and since I had Chris in the car with me and he couldn't run away, we had a baby name brainstorm!! Heather is still his number one for girls, and mine is Ella, but he likes Ella least of all. Anyways, now I'm leaning towards Lena Heather. I always liked the name Lena, but I could never fit it in anywhere....anyways, then I was telling MIL about it, and she was SO enthralled, because Lena was her grandmothers name (short for Magdalena) and again, Heather is the name of my dads sister who died when she was 16. So I'm liking the family connections there. Of course, Chris would rather have Heather Lena. Lots of time to decide though.
And for boys, we made a lot of progress. Well, we at least found some more names we like to choose from. My favourite is Jacob Micah. Chris decided he likes Carson, and for middle names: Kimball, Lincoln....Ok, so maybe we haven't made as much progress as I thought, but at least I got him to TALK to me about it!
I have been feeling really good, I am just anxious to start feeling the baby move, or at least see it moving at the U/S....that must be a worry every pregnant lady has....I just want to make sure the little peanut is ok, and is growing big enough. I don't think I've gained much weight, I am eager to go to the doctor and see just how much. Well, one more week and I'm halfway there!