Wow! Two posts in one day! Well, I thought I should write again after my arsey post this morning!
I'm having quite bad stomach pains... One minute it seems to be more in my left side and the next it's more in my right and then the next minute it's in the middle.... Ggrrrrr! I hope everything is OK with Jellybean!
Well, I decided on a really great way to tell Martin that we are expecting another little bundle of joy! I'm going to wait until Fathers Day on the 15th June. It seems such a long way away and I doubt I'll be able to keep quiet that long but I'm going to try! I'm going to cook him a brilliant breakfast or dinner and then present him with a little box with my green notes, maybe a scan photo and have the boys walk into the room wearing "I'm the Big Brother" t-shirts! I'll be one day off of 12 weeks by then, so I'll also have an appointment for a dating scan which I guess I could include... He loves going to the scans with me!
Also I decided I'm going to wait until I'm 16/17 weeks with everyone else so I can get a private scan and know the sex... Then I'm going to send my Mum and that a bouquet of flowers in either pink or blue telling her to play my baby guess game that I set up today!!! That's where you have to guess the sex/weight and date of birth of the baby!
haha Sounds good to me! Maybe then Martin won't be so angry at me for keeping all this a secret?! I don't know... He's a nosey git sometimes so he's probably reading this as I'm writing it and just not saying! LOL
Anyways, I'd best be off... These stomach cramps are killing me!
I must admit that as time progresses I'm beginning to get a better and better feeling about this pregnancy. I don't know why and I don't want to trust my feelings too much as I felt really good with my last pregnancy and the one before that too... But fingers (and legs,and toes, and eyes and everything else) crossed this one will be different!
So far today I've felt a little queasy but other then that I feel fine... No real symptoms. And the terrible stomach cramps I was having yesterday have settled down to a mild annoyance, thank God!
I have spent the morning gorging on leftover Chinese food from last night... Ewwww!!! But I can't help myself!
I'm quite looking forward to doing this pregnancy test at the Drs on May 1st... This time I have a good feeling it'll come back positive! But I won't know for a few days anyways as it takes 3/4 working days for them to get the test results back as they send them to the Hospital lab.
I'm already planning when I'm going to tell Martin! It's going to be a real laugh!!! He'll love it - I just hope he doesn't ruin it by being angry with me for not telling him. I've found a perfect little box to put the stuff in and decided I'm going to put my green notes, a pair of baby bootees, a picture of my early scans, and a little stuffed soft teddy of some sort in there! haha I'm gonna love the look on his face!
He asked me last night I think it was, if I thought I was or not... I could barely look him in the eye, so I hope I manage to hold out until then!
Oh! I might also print a copy of this journal so he can read what's been going on too!
*Jellybean, if you're in there I really love you, you're doing a great job of holding on! I hope the vitamins I've been plowing you with are making you stronger and healthier and I'm looking forward to finally meeting you in December!*
I did a Chinese Gender Predictor which said this would be our Girl... But to be honest I don't care so long as I end up with a healthy baby. It's strange cos with every other pregnancy I DID mind... I either wanted a boy or a girl and was upset when I found out I wasn't getting what I'd hoped for or would have been upset, but this time I couldn't care less.
If we're having a girl though I love the name Trinity Angel or Trinity Hope... It's really out of one of those names!
EDITED TO INCLUDE:
Aaarrrggghhhhh!!! Hormones!!! I've never had it this bad before in any of my other pregnancies. I cried twice today for no reason... Once I was walking along the Shopping Centre and almost burst into tears and the other time I was sitting in the car!
I bought a little purple and white bunny today from Mothercare. Don't really know why... I think it's going to bring me luck! It's so soft and babyish that I couldn't resist myself!
God this pregnancy is making me soppy.
*Jellybean thanks for doing so well so far... I'm begining to feel your presence more and more as the days go on. I was right Daddy is just as excited as me about your arrival. We look forward to seeing you soon!*
Wow! I was saying this morning to Martin how slowly the time seemed to be passing and then I sat down to write this and though "Bloody Hell! I'm almost 5 weeks already???!" LOL
Well I think I overdid it yesterday. We went shopping for several hours, pushing a double buggy, then spent a good few hours in the car then came home and didn't end up getting to bed until gone 1am... Now my stomach is killing me. I really hope it's OK.
Have got to work today so I hope I can spend some of the time resting and letting my stomach settle a bit.
*Jellybean, I'm sorry for working so hard yesterday. I'll be good today, you just hang on in there!*
Hmm... I was in real panick mode before. The bleeding in reality stopped as quickly as it started and was very little. Martin called the Dr for me, who said I should have 3 days complete bedrest. I emailed my Medium friends on one of my boards who said that everything would be fine and we'd have a girl!!! I'm so excited - I really hope so!
I hope that bleeding doesn't come back. I hope it was just my Miracle burrowing further to get a better grip in there! That's a gross thought but to me, that's what I'm really hoping for.
I can't stop looking at little baby things. JJ is just over a year old and already they've bought out tons of new technology... I also can't help looking at baby clothes... I know I shouldn't but I just want to shop, shop, shop! It's the best thing about being pregnant!!!
I'm still carrying my little bunny around with me. It's really silly, I have never been one for soft toys but I take this little fluffy bunny everywhere with me without fail... I even sleep with it. I'm scared if I leave it behind my baby will leave us. I'm going to keep it with me throughout this pregnancy, for good luck and give it to my miracle as soon as she/he is born to bring her/him good luck too!
I'd better go... I am supposed to be lying down!
*Jellybean, I love you so much! You gave us a scare the other day and now I've got to spend several days lying down. I've got you a little bunny - I'm looking after it until you get here. Mummy needs to rest now but stay safe and healthy and know that Mummy, Dadd, Tristan and JJ all love you so much...*
Wow, time seems to be passing... Not really quickly enough. I remember though that this time always drags on and on during early pregnancy and before you know it you're 20 odd weeks gone and it's going to fast! haha
Well, am still supposed to be on bedrest. I am feeling really bad now - think Morning Sickness is finally kicking in... I feel so sick, and my stomach is forever crampy and the thought of food just makes me retch. I'm so hungry but I just can't eat. Everything takes like mank to me at the moment and makes me want to puke.
Aaarrggghhh! And now everyone knows about my pregnancy! LOL So much for keeping it a secret. My Mum had Tristan and JJ yesterday so I could get some bedrest and she guessed that I was pregnant again. And she found out that June is pregnant too - so she asked me if she could tell June, which of course she could!
I think I'm coming down with a cold... I feel absolutely awful.
I'm going to go and get some rest now.
*Jellybean I'm so proud that you didn't leave us the other day. My faith in you is growing with each day...*
I was stupid. So, so stupid for believing this would all work out.
Realised this morning I was bleeding again. It's steadily got heavier and heavier throughout the day. It's now pretty heavy, almost like period heavy. It's also quite clotty and very red.
Looks like this is the end. I can't believe I let myself think this one would be OK. And now everyone knows all over again that I've failed. My stupid ****ing body what the Hell is wrong with me??? I don't know anyone else who's been pregnant 8 times and only got 2 children to show for it.
I was so stupid. I asked a couple of Mediums who told me it'd be alright this time around. My Mum asked Lorraine who also said it'd work out this time. I really believed it'd be different. I even tried staying positive - maybe mind over matter stuff... Where if I believed it'd be OK, it would be except it's not.
I asked everyone I could for help this time. I asked my Dr, refused. I asked my hospital, refused. I asked Spirit, refused. I asked Healers, didn't work. I was so stupid for believing miracles happen to good people.