I'm back. I had a wonderful time, got semi tan, I say semi because I think I mostly just freckled but I feel so good. I feel well rested and comfortable but I'm desperately ready for a coke at ten a.m. Friday I had a pretty big scare. We went shopping in town. I wasn't feeling great that day and it was probably one of the hottest days. Normally around 4 pm we'd get some cloud cover, but not that day. We took the bus into town (by the way, if you ride the bus in Puerto Vallarta, be warned that its one BUMPY ride and your driver may not know how to drive) and walked up and down. We went into church and watched part of mass (I'm not catholic and I don't speak very good Spanish so I have no idea what was going on) and then we went into the stores. I started feeling weaker and weaker and finally told my mom I needed some air conditioning. We went into Senor Frogs store which was nice and cool but by then I was feeling really rotten. I started having really bad cramps (down in the neither regions) and told my mom we needed to get back to the hotel. We took a taxi back rather than ride Mr. Toads Wild Ride (as we had nicknamed the bus rides) and I laid down for about an hour in our room. The cramps subsided and I never saw any blood, but it was terrifying.
The rest of vacation was wonderful. If you ever go to Mexico, or anywhere for that matter, I highly reccomend an all inclusive resort. I couldn't have asked for a better trip.
I HAVE OFFICIALLY REACHED WEEK 12
and we are thrilled. Less than a week to go till we actually reach the start of the second trimester. I can't beleive how fast time has flown since I found out I was pregnant. Last night I actually had some energy for the first time in a while. I did a little bit of cleaning and unpacking (I'm almost ashamed to admit that I'm still not unpacked from Mexico). My room is looking better. I just need to remember to work on it for 15 minutes a day. If I did that, I'm sure I could have it baby ready in no time. Alek's and babys room is not that bad. It has a few things on the floor that need placement and we need to go through the closet and throw some things out, but for the most part, its in good shape. I think I could have that ready in two weeks if need be. I'm starting to get anxious about not having baby stuff by DH insists that it will be taken care of. I know I'll have showers but I'm scared that I won't have the things I need like a stroller and carrier and crib.
At first I was really adamant that I needed a bassinet but lately I've been wondering about that. I don't think its as big a deal as I thought. I've been seeing these sleepers that you place in the bed with you. I thought that was a good idea. I also saw someone place the baby in the crib between two rolled up recieving blakets. I thought that was a good idea too. It would definitely save some money and I wouldn't feel guilty having to register for that.
On another note, my allergies have kicked up this season. I never really suffered from allergies from anything other than cats, and I've built up an immunity to the ones in my life, so this is different. I just got off the phone with Kaiser. They said I could take Claritin, so I'm off to go get that. Drugs!!!! I need drugs!!!!!
IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!!!! Remember that line from Kindergarten Cop? I was thinking that this morning as I stared at my belly. I'm officially 13 weeks tomorrow and I just stared at my bump. I noticed yesterday when I woke up that I still seemed kind of swollen, but I thought maybe I was just retaining water. Well today when I woke up, the bump was still there. Its not deflating in the mornings anymore. I really am pregnant. Yesterday one of my co-workers asked if she could feel my belly. Thats a weird feeling. I guess I should get used to it, but, its still weird. This Mysterious Alien Creature (MAC), Extra Terrestrial (ET), Alien Life Form (ALF), Experiment 626, or Stitch, whatever this is, this bump, this tumor, its a baby and its real. Its just weird. I love it, but its weird.
My friend across the hall, Noelle, said that being a mom is the hardest job I'll ever love. I couldn't have phrrased it any better. I can't wait till January to meet my little Stitch.
I'M 13 WEEKS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay. I can't believe time has flown so quickly. I was talking to the girls in my small group yesterday about popping. Delna and Christine laughed at me. Delna is just starting her third trimester and Christine only has 4-6 weeks left according to the doctor, although I have a feeling it will come sooner. They told me I'll be tired of this belly soon enough and while I know thats true, right now, I'm having the time of my life.
I was so tired today. I'm not sure why. I thought I slept pretty well, but considering I woke up a few times and Kevin wasn't there, I think maybe I was just more restless in my sleep. He said I didn't wake him up, but I don't beleive him. He's been up a lot more since I got pregnant. I think my not sleeping is affecting him.
Yeah, I'm hardly sleeping. Not like I used too. Not that I'm not tired from the pregnancy, but between the pee trips and getting up to eat, and just being plain uncomfortable. I think in the beginning it was more anxiety and excitement that was keeping me up, but I think now its the pregnancy itself. Plus the dreams.
People keep asking me if I'm having sex dreams. I can honestly say, I've only had two and neither of them we're with my husband. One is with this guy at work who I think of like a brother. Ew..... I kissed Will? Ew.... I mean, hes a sweetie, but ewwwww. The other I was with a woman, which I would NEVER do. Thats even grosser than kissing Will. Anyways, those are my sex dreams. Most of my dreams have to do with the baby itself. I can never tell if its a boy or girl or what.... Sometimes its both.
A few weeks ago I started having a recurring dream that I gave birth to a skeleton. That scares me. I don't like that one. The bleeding dreams seem to have stopped. I kept waking up and literally running to the bathroom every time I had one of those. Some days I would trip over things trying to get to the bathroom. Luckily I never saw blood. This baby seems determined to stick and for that I am extremely grateful.
My next appointment is in two weeks. I'll be one day away from my 16th week. I can't beleive time has gone by that fast. I hope I get to hear Stitch's heartbeat.
I love you baby, and I'll see you soon.
Erin (aka Mommy2b)
I HATE HATE HATE being constipated Its embarrassing. Its awkward and its PAINFUL!!!! Okay I didn't think I would have this problem. I had gone through the 1st trimester with pretty much NO PROBLEMS, at least not in that department. I figured with Chrons disease maybe I was going to be one of the lucky ones. Okay so diarreah isn't exactly lucky, but at least I didn't suffer from hemmoroids and it didn't hurt like this. OMG, the pain I am going through. I keep trying to get up my nerve to go to Longs Drugs, but I can't. I just can't. I don't want to bring stool softeners back to the office, and yet I know its 2.5 hours till I can leave work and another hour before I get home and can run over to Walgreens for some much needed drugs. Hmmmm..... decisions decisons decisions. The pharmacists at Walgreens all know me pretty well. A few years ago when I was really sick I practically lived there with all the prescriptions I had. Two of the three pharmacists know I'm pregnant so thats not a problem. I'm not embarrassed around them. Every pharmacist I've had at Longs has been a man.....Do I really want to be getting stool softeners from a man. Oh why not, its not like they don't get constipated, but at the same time, I hate buying things like that from men. Its like going to the checkout with tampons and having a cute guy behind you and a male at the register. Its just not comfortable. Then again, neither is this feeling. If I could guarantee that it would be a female helping me, it wouldn't be so bad. They have to have a female working somewhere in that store. Its a huge store. They have three registers, well four, but hardly anyone is ever at the single cashier register, and I wouldn't go to cameras to buy stool softeners and fiber pills. Oh sheesh, why am I still debating this, even more ridiculous, why am I doing it online?
Because pregnant women sympathize, we understand, we help and we've been there, and if we haven't been there yet, we either will be or we know someone who has gone through it. Okay fine, I'll go to Longs and hope and pray that someone there is a female and if theres a man at the register I'll put it down and run away screaming.
Okay so I gave in and went to Longs and I am so grateful that I did. Finally unclogged. Granted, I cheated and took twice the recomended amount, plus another brand that was sodium instead of calcium. Oh yay, sweet relief. I spent about a half hour in the bathroom this morning just trying to get it all out, but it is, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!! No more pain, no more commercial song running through my head. Ya know the "Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go right now!!!" Not anymore. Now I feel like I can eat, I can breathe, I can stand without pain. Trust me, any embarrassment I felt at getting those, is NOTHING with the relief I feel right now.
I feel sick. Its not morning sickness and its not the flu. Its guilt. Guilt from something I did a few months ago. I lost a number of very good friends when I wished something very bad against someone. Then I came out and told the truth. I wished a miscarriage on someone. Sadly she lost the baby. I was devastated. I was devastated the minute I wished it. I fell to my knees and begged for forgiveness. I didn't want that to happen. It was a moment of weakness. A moment of jealousy and rage. I never should have wished it and I regreted at that moment. Unfortunately, it happened, and although I know that I didn't cause that miscarriage (cause a wish can't do that) I know that I felt horrible. I had no choice but to come clean. Well I got kicked out of that support group and came here. I needed to know that I could redeem myself. Well I went back and was reading some posts from there (I can still get in even though I can't post because its a free site and they offer tours) and on the one day I went back I went and read a post from the one girl I thought was still my friend. Well she sent me this whole long spiel about her new sales pitch and I confronted her about the post. She called me out on it. I know those girls will never forgive me for what I did. I'll never forgive myself, but I'm trying. I really am trying to change who I am and what I did. I can't tell the whole story on here because it would take up twenty long pages but I blew it. Big time. I feel betrayed by the one girl I thought was still my friend. I'd come clean to her. We've talked and texted and emailed and I really thought I had found forgiveness in her heart, even though I'd never expected it. I guess I hadn't. Thats what makes me so sick. I thought she was my friend and then she went and stabbed me in the back. Turns out, she was lying to me just as much as I lied to them. It hurts. A lot more than I thought. So to all of you, I want you to know that I am telling the truth. To anyone from that site, if you happen to read this, and you know who I am, this is the truth. I am truly and deeply sorry for what happened. I know I will never forgive myself for it. God has forgiven me and in that I find comfort and solace. To J.H, G.M., K.Q., Rae, R.M, L.R.N, J.S., I am truly truly truly sorry. Please I beg of you, even if you can't forgive me for what I did, and I don't expect you to, please let it go. Its in the past, its not me anymore.
I cannot beleive I haven't posted in ten days. Time has just been flying here. Last week I had two days off. One sick day and one day for doctors appointments. It was a long week as far as things go though. Lets see, Sunday of last week I had to go into the hospital for morning sickness. I just couldn't keep anything down. I joked around about the baby not liking me as best I could but I was so tired of being sick. I was in the ER for about three hours before they finally gave me a shot of reglan. That helped a lot but I still was nauseas for a few days afterwards. So Monday of last week I stayed home. There was no way I could have any energy after going through what I'd been through on Sunday. I now understand how people can lose so much weight. I've been fairly fortunate m/s wise. Yes I've had it and I've been sick almost every morning but its not bad like some people have it. I realize now how fortunate I've been.
I have put on weight. Nine pounds to be exact. I feel like a pig. Everyone says it doesn't look like nine lbs, but I'm feeling it. I do have maternity clothes but they are still all too big. I need to find a couple more pairs of pants. I ordered jeans today from Old Navy. I hope they fit. If they don't, at least I know I can return them to the store rather than dealing online.
Well I better get back to work before I get yelled at AGAIN for being online, but I'll try to check back in before the week is up. Things have been busy here.
Take care, Love, Erin
15 weeks 6 days - 10 lbs
Mom said today we need to go maternity clothes shopping. Yay! I dont think she has any clue how much stuff I already have but I am addicted to shopping and if moms buying, even better.
I only have an hour and a half left of work but it seems interminable. I've been so bored all day. Filing is not exciting. Plus I think everyone has summer fever. Its gorgeous outside and we want to be out in it. Of course, at home its so much hotter but its not quite 4 o'clock here and almost 80 degrees. Everyone has been saying all day we want to go home. I suggested a walkout but only jokingly.
Meanwhile were all still stuck here and hoping the next hour and 15 minutes flies by!
16 weeks 3 days!
I started bleeding this weekend, but from the butt. I guess its a fairly common thing. It was not much but it was enough to scare me. Friday I was pretty sick stomach wise. I had it coming out of both ends. Well I ended up bleeding just a few spoonfuls but it was more than enough to scare me. The hospital wanted me to go to the ER but I wasn't ready to spend $50 for them to tell me where the blood was coming from. That much I knew. So Saturday morning when there was just the lightest amount of blood on the TP I headed over to the small injuries clinic. They couldn't help me there. They said they didn't have any baby equipment there, doppler, sonogram, nothing. So they recomended going to the ER. I promised if it got worse I would, but nothing else happened. The bleeding stopped completely and I was fine. Apparently this is a fairly common thing in pregnancy. My mom had it in both of her pregnancies and she had perfectly healthy children. I'm hoping its that kind of bleeding. I haven't been constipated since that one day and I don't know if I had a small hemorhoid that broke or what, but I've been fine ever since and I even feel the baby moving from time to time.
I'll write more later but for now I better get to work. My boss will kill me if she finds me on here.