Well its official. I am depressed. No one is coming to my birthday party today except my family and two of Kevins friends from work. Talk about a shocker. Of allt he people I invited I thought for sure one of them would come. Thats my best friend Dana. She promised over and over and over she would be there. I got a voice mail today saying she couldn't make it. She couldn't explain why. Talk about depressing. I don't know what to do, what to say... anything. Kevin says that its their loss and I shouldn't be upset about it but what does it say when there people aren't willing to take three hours out of their weekend to help me celebrate my 30th birthday. Two of them I can understand. Delna and Christine. Crhistines baby is less than a month old now and Delna is ready to pop. I can understand why they wouldn't come, but the rest of them..... it just makes me so mad and so angry that no one cares enough. I wish I had invited my co-workers. That way at least I wouldn't feel quite this way. At least people would come, but at the same time, I don't want those people there. Most of them are associates, not friends. I wanted my friends there and they don't care enough. Maybe its just hormones makeing me feel this way, but I don't think so. I've been crying all morning. I don't know how to stop crying. As my mom says we have dinner for the whole rest of the week. Oh goodie. I'd rather have my friends there. I'd rather know that they care enough to come. Kevins friends are coming, all the way from an hour away. Why can't my friends who live 10 minutes away come. Its just a depressing thought. I really wish my mom hadn't gone to all this work of planning this thing when no one is coming and I'm going to be in a crying depressed mood all day. I need a mood lifter. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate (and ice cream). Okay well I'm off to try and put on my make up without crying anymore and then to the Halloween store to get some make up for Kevin for the Raiders games. Men and football. I will never get that, but thats a whole nother rant that will have to wait for another day.
Okay now I'm really crying. My two best friends on pg.org have banned me. Turned their backs on me and I don't know what to do. I loved them like sisters. I really did. I still do. I was being a sarcastic ass earlier today. I know I was. Its just the type of mood I'm in. Dani and Debi. I miss my girlfriends/evil triplets. I don't know what to say, or what to do. I don't know whether to call them and apologize or what. I emailed them but I'm not sure if it was enough of an apology email or one just conceeding that they had won. I was just being sarcastic earlier. Its not like I'd hurt either one of them. I don't know how many times we've jokingly threatened eachother. I love those girls and now.... I just feel like I've lost my family. They were my family. I could talk to them about anything.... I have talked to them about anything. We just celebrated our birthdays. I thought we were going to celebrate our childrens birthdays next. Its just all upsetting and I don't know what to say or do or anything.
I lost them for real. Its really sunk in now. I made the stupidest comment and threatened one of them. It was made completely in jest. I know it was still stupid. Call it being stubborn, call it being Irish, call it being pregnant, call it just plain stupidity on my part. Whatever. It was said and I wish I could take it back but I can't. I am so sorry for that comment. Its been removed so there is no point in looking for it anymore but I really did make possibly the stupidest mistake of my life and lost two of the best friends a girl could ask for. I hope one day they can forgive me. Add that to my list of regrets in life.
God, help me to stop doing this. Help me to think before I speak. Help me to remember that what is read is not always what is meant, just as that was meant as a joke and was taken seriously as a threat. Help my friends to find forgiveness in their hearts. I can't beleive that an almighty God could create someone as stupid as me, but I also know that you are trying to create a work in me that is not finished yet. Obviously the corners are still a little to sharp and I'm not the smooth stone. Forgive me for what I said and did to Debi. Lord help me to forgive myself for what was said. Help me to know what to say and what to do. Please continue to work your miracle in me because right now I don't feel precious and righteous. I feel dirty and used and like a pebble thats been kicked aside. I don't know what else to say to my friends other than I am so sorry. Please Lord, help me to find forgivness.
In your sons holy and precious name.... Amen.
And life begins to return to normal.
By that I mean no real close pregnant friends. Oh well. As my husband says, its their loss if they don't want to be friends with me. I can't say that it doesn't hurt, because it does, but at the same time, what would life had been like had I not met them? Pretty much as it is now. I work, I go home I talk to my husband and I go to bed.
Last night was the coolest thing ever. I found an elbow or knee. I think. I'm hoping that was it or else I have a tumor inside my stomach. I just can't imagine that. Besides I think the doctor would have said something if that was the case. Besides, this morning when I woke up it was gone. It was only there in the middle of the night when I woke up. I wish I had woken Kevin up to feel it but I would rather have him in a good mood in the mornings (and evenings). So I let him sleep.
This morning I had terrible spasms in my butt and vaginal areas. OMG. Those hurt so bad. I just wanted to cry. I'm not sure if it was the way he was moving or what it was but boy oh boy did it ever hurt! I couldn't wait for those to end. They only lasted about 4 seconds each, but they kept coming for about a half hour. I was not ready for those. I know the problem though is that they will continue to come and to get worse as the end of the second trimester draws near an the third one starts.
I'm so excited about the third trimester but I'm also so scared of whats going to happen. I have 100 days left today. Thats a big step in a girls life, but OMG! Talk about freaky. I feel like I have nothing done, and the fact of the matter is I dont. I really wanted to be better prepared by the time my third trimester came. I basically have two weeks till that time. I don't think I'm going to be done with the room by then. Theres so much to do and so much to think about before then. I'm really scared of not being ready for this....
My Real life friend... (meaning not just interent) Delna is having a baby today. I am so jealous. Shes having a beautiful baby boy. She got induced this morning after a month off of early disability and she was so ready to go. I saw her last night. Poor thing was huge but I know thats the way I'm going to be. She and I are approximately the same height and build. I just have a feeling that I'm going to look like her, except her uterus was facing forward so that the baby kicked her back and her stomach portruded. I am so excited for her. I can't wait for this day to end so I can pick up some flowers and go see a newborn baby! I haven't gone to the hospital for such a happy occasion since I don't know when. My futures son best friend is being born.
I went to the hopital last night to visit Delna. Now I really can't wait for January to come. Her baby is so beautiful. I cried all the way home. Kevin can't understand why I am so ready for this baby to come when we aren't ready and neither is he, but any expectant mother can understand where I am coming from. Babies are the most precious thing on earth. Justus was perfect in every way and I can't wait to meet my little one.
Work has been hectic and life has been slow.
I know I need to start working on the babies room and soon. He'll be here before I know it. I just can't seem to get motivated in the evenings. Last week I worked so much overtime and then this week, well lets just say I'm working late to make up time from hell on earth. Its a very long story involving a broke down train. I was 45 minutes late to work, which means staying 45 minutes late. Normally I could make up my time on Friday afternoon, but I have an appointment with my gastroenterologist on Friday morning and have to make up that time on Friday afternoon. Oh the joys of figuring out the making up of time!!!! I'm going brain dead just thinking about it. I seriously more than once thought of turning around and going home this morning but I don't want to take anymore time than I absolutely have to unless I really am sick or in major pain. I had a few braxton hicks from the stress but that was it.
Baby has officially moved up into my rib cage. Ouch! Or at least thats what it feels like. He's not all the way up yet because he's not big enough, but it sure is putting pressure in that area and making it more difficult to breathe. I feel like I'm getting a little bit bigger every day. Its a very bizzare thing to watch myself grow. I've always been the "skinny" girl. Now I'm not so skinny and people are beginning to notice that I'm definitely pregnant.
Getting offered a seat on the BART train is no longer such a novelty. People offer them all the time, in fact I've come to expect it, but I don't take them unless they stand up and offer it. Is that a horrible thing to say Im expecting them? I'm expecting people to treat me differently now that its obvious I'm pregnant. I sound like a completely spoiled brat, and to some degree, I am. I just don't think I'm as spoiled as I make myself out to be with a statement like that. Maybe I am, I don't know. Anyhow, I digress. See I told you I was brain dead.
My head hurts constantly now. I have this constant headache that won't go away no matter what I do, so I've given up on tylenol unless it's really bothering me. I know the doctors say it won't hurt, but my opinion is, you can't take that much without doing something.... and two tylenol doesn't add up to much. If its really really hurting, I'll take some and lay down in a dark room and hope and pray that it goes away, but for the most part, it doesn't hurt that badly. My legs are getting crampy too. Very weird cramping sensations. They're almost like charlie horses on my calves. I don't like that feeling, especially when they happen in the middle of the night. I've woken Kevin up a few times when those happen. Not on purpose though. Delna and Christine both say as I get bigger I'll have to wake him up to rub them out because I won't be able to bend over. I'm personally hoping that won't get that big until at least the last two weeks of this pregnancy, but who knows? I certainly don't. I get comments from everyone, some say I'm still really tiny, others say I'm huge. I know I've grown. There's no doubt about that, but it depends on who I see and when and what I'm wearing as to how big I really am.
Week 27: I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it!
Fetal development in pregnancy week 27:fetus in seventh month
Your not-so-tiny-anymore swimmer (2 pounds and about 14.5 inches long!) is slowly rotating in preparation to “head out.” Obviously, this doesn’t happen overnight, but when you start to feel an unfamiliar pressure on your cervix, you’ll know you’ve got a fully flipped baby locked and loaded for the countdown to their birthday! Even now, at the beginning of the third trimester, their little lungs are already capable of breathing air, while the pulmonary vascular system can provide sufficient gas exchange, and the central nervous system can generally regulate rhythmic breathing as well as their basal body temperature. For what it’s worth, at this point in a healthy pregnancy a premature child (with intensive care) could easily win on the show: “Survivor: The Early Years.”
And how's mom doing? You’ve worked hard, done your research, endured a plethora of joyless symptoms and would like nothing more than to have wonder-baby on the outside. Well, dig in for the final endurance round and say hello to the familiar but not-so-lovable faces of fatigue and nausea. You guessed it, the dratted the third trimester is really a time to kick your baby-on-the-outside preparations into high gear: baby-proof the home or apartment, buy a car-seat, get a stroller, dress up the nursery and plan a space for diapering, keep mulling over possible names, and try to enjoy this time… hormone factory is once again running at full-tilt (and causing rapid hair growth), sigh…. Your (“yaaaawn”) fatigue stems from several factors, including the proverbial weight gain, shortness of breath and of course, sleep deprivation. (See week 29 for tips on how to alleviate fatigue!).
Yes, ladies, you’ve finally reached the infamous “live-on-the-toilet” stage. Your feet are bigger, your breasts are bigger, your belly is bigger, even your baby is bigger—and something’s gotta give. Annoyingly, nature didn’t choose your butt and instead opted to compress your bladder, which is now being completely squashed by your-super-sized-baby... all day long. So your best shot is to just accept the fact you’re going to need to urinate every 10 minutes (and if you manage to go longer, thank the good lord).
Of course breast tenderness is also very common at this phase as milk production is kicking in. Other thrilling third-trimester symptoms include more swelling (known as edema) and feeling like you live in a sweat factory as a result of increased basal body temperature. Thank your baby: this temperature increase stems from their body heat coupling with your own, which of course all adds up to one hot mama!
Just in case you don’t have enough things to stress out about: we’d like to remind you the third trimester is really a time to kick your baby-on-the-outside preparations into high gear: baby-proof the home or apartment, buy a car-seat, get a stroller, dress up the nursery and plan a space for diapering, keep mulling over possible names, and try to enjoy this time… when you’re not nauseous, constipated, running to the toilet, or just plain wiped out. (And don’t forget to get your sleep, be active, and eat well! Phew….)
Well the room is still a complete disaster, but I feel good. I got so much accomplished today. I still may do more, but for right now, I'm going to the Battered womans shelter to drop off all these lovely goodies I have for them. Seven chairs, a fifty gallon container of toys and videos. Two boxes of clothing..... whew. I don't know how much I just got rid of, but it was a lot. My back hurts but I feel so good for getting rid of all taht and the room is significantly emptier. Plus DH said hes going to go through all these boxes in here and dump most the paperwork. Yay!
Small steps here and there. The closet is just about prepped to start doing the cedar floors. After we got rid of all the chairs, I moved all our christmas stuff out to our storage area. I need to get a lock for the clostet out there. Oh goodie, yet another key to lose, but it will be worth it to not have all my christmas stuff stolen, not that I think anyone would but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
I need to approach Kevin about installing the cedar floors. I know he's not going to be happy but we've had these damned floors for four years, they might as well get installed, but I'm not going to make him do it this weekend. All the baseboards are finally up in the kitchen and hallway after having them laying around for a year. Yay! I am so happy. I did tons of laundry today and am sure I will have a ton more to do soon, but for right now, its just going to have to wait.
So I am off to the Battered womans shelter to give all thee things away, maybe go to OSH because they are having a tax free weekend and I could use some paint for in here, and then go to Safeway to pick up food so I can fix something for Delna's family and for our family. We need food. Badly. I hate going to the grocery store, but it does need to be done from time to time. I kept putting it off this morning but at least I made up for it with work done around here.
Okay now that I've written another book, I really am off to take some tylenol and get rid of all those lovely things that I have no interest in keeping anymore. I swear if my sil gives me any more stuff, I'm going to scream. My kids don't need her kids old junk.
Well another wasted weekend day. I did nothing all day. Well I shouldn't say that. I did the dishes and I made dinner. I didn't clean up from dinner but I figured if I made it I shouldn't have too. I gues I probably should go do that.
And now ladies (and gents if you happen to be reading) for your viewing pleasure,
Pics of my future, very messy nursery
And for your laughing pleasure, my most recent pic, I beleive about 21-22 weeks, not sure anymore.
Sheesh, I think I'm going to stop posting things on the January board of pg.org, it seems like every time I do, I get attacked, so why bother. I just said today that there is a connection between stress and sexual orientation and I get jumped on about an abstract theory of psychcology and how not funny it was to joke about being gay depending on a footrub. That wasn't the point at all. Maybe I should have been more specific. The point was not to stress ourselves out and possibly turn our children gay. Theres not a clearly defined line but there is a connection in it.
I have another site I post on that people get my weird twisted sense of humor. They're all weird and twisted too. I'll post here when something real comes up. I'm going to continue journaling though. This much I like. I like writing down my thoughts as this pregnancy progresses and looking back. I like the fact that one day I can pass this off to my children and say this is what I went through, these were my feelings. I'll print it all up at the end and hopefully they will have a glimpse of how much I love them and how much I loved them from the beginning of my pregnancy.
Ever since that fight with Dani and Debi this site is really seeming to turn against me and I don't know why. I'm tired of it though. I don't see any sense in stressing out over it so thats why I'm thinking of leaving that board at least.
I apologized again to Debi and got this thing saying she accepted my apology but couldn't be my friend. At least I got out what I needed to say, then I spammed her email so she couldn't write back. I don't want to know what she has to say. Its her and Dani that are really attacking me on that board. Its not funny anymore.
Well this is the end of my journaling on pg.org. I've decided that too many bad things have come of me posting on pregnancy boards. If you wish to keep in contact, please do so at
I will be posting this journal on my regular blog but I'm not putting that link up because I don't want negative posters. I only want people who will truly be my friends. If you want the link, you can email me.
Okay so update.... All is not well in pregnancy.org. I do still come here to post, but all is getting better, slowly I might add. Very slowly. I have come to the conclusion that Dani and Debi and I will never be the same again, and you know what, I'm actually okay with that. I was never good at being a part of a clique. I tried it. I failed miserably. We're to the poin where we can talk and post on eachothers threads without threatening eachother and arguing.
I'm much better off at being friends with everyone. I've made "friends" on pg.org I never thought I'd be friends with when I was a strict part of the clique. Yes we don't always agree, but then, thats part of real life too. You don't always get along with your friends.
Pregnancy wise.... I'm in my 34th week and uncomfortable, tired, bloated, sick.... Yep, I'm pregnant. I promised myself if I ever got pregnant I wouldn't complain, well now I know better. Never make a promise you can't keep, and when your pregnant and you have this many hormones running through your body.... sometimes its better to vent than to keep it inside.
Baby Patrick as he has come to be known likes to sleep with his butt up in my ribs. It hurts. A lot. I think he's going to be one of those kids who sleep with his butt up in the air, and while its adorable when they're born, while they're inside of you, all I can think is ouch....
I've begun nesting, but it's come in spurts. It hasn't happened in one big motion yet. Little things.
I've got my shower this weekend which I'm so superly excited about. I can't tell anyone at work about it because there is one lady who keeps trying to invite herself and I really don't want her there. Shes uber selfish and even though I know she'd bring me something awsome, I'm not having it for the gifts, I'm having it to celebrate the fact that we're bringing another life into this world.
Fetal development in pregnancy week 38:
fetus in ninth month
As you know full well, you've arrived at the final leg of the journey, and if you're still carrying your little love around, they've just about reached their birth weight (somewhere between 6 to 8 pounds is average depending on whether they're a boy or girl). There really isn't a lot to report on baby this week, so lets do a quick recount of where we're at: all internal organ systems are pretty much ready for the outside world, they've got their meconium stockpile building up (their first black baby poo), lots of healthy baby fat, a rapidly developing brain (that'll keep growing with them for years to come), and they've more or less reached official baby status-- all they need to do is "head out" and say hello to the rest of the world and especially their ready-to-pop momma.
And how's mom doing? Hang in there momma, it's only a matter of time before the obnoxious and painful fake contractions you felt in your back, lower belly, and pelvic region will be replaced by real contractions... which are even more obnoxious and painful. You'll know when the real ones kick in because they're if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina -- this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area more intensely painful (woo!) and they spread over the entire uterus, through the lower back and into your pelvis.
If you're having trouble sleeping (which about 100% of women in this phase of pregnancy are), try to take little catnaps during the day, get one of those neato full-body pregnancy pillows, or at least lots of pillows that you can shove between your legs and under your belly to support your awkward shape more comfortably. Also, if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina -- this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area. If you're feeling sharp shooting pains instead of tingles, this would be your extra evil-but-adorable baby pressing on your oh-so-very sensitive sciatic nerve. All we can recommend is some wincing, sitting down, and putting your feet up...OUCH!
I'm pregnant. No doubt about it. Everyone asks me when I'm due.... Why they can't come up with an agreement about how big or how small I am, I don't know. When I told people last Wednesday that I was due in two weeks, they all said I was way too small. This last Saturday at the grocery store, someone asked and I said about two weeks and she said I looked ready to pop. All I know is I feel ready to pop. As of today, my due date is in 10 days, not that I think he'll come out on time, as much as I wish he would.....
But the good news is, there is an end in sight. My doctor will not let me go forever. I will deliver sometime in the next 20 days. I hope it's before then. I can't imagine going a full 20 more days, but then again, I never thought I'd make it this far into my pregnancy without major problems.
His room is almost completed. My sisters bf has agreed to paint the room next weekend, FINALLY, which means I have to do major clean up in there and the hallway in the next week, plus I have to do my room. I'm recovering from x-mas in there. That means that every single bag is in there. We need to put those things away, including baby's christmas presents and put the bassinet in. I'm going to try and put at least a half hour into each room tonight, if not more. It depends on how tired I am.
I'm drinking coke right now. I know, bad Erin. Bad. But..... I figure I'm going to be up in the middle of the night with questions about everything imaginable anyways, so I might as well have the caffine and be awake at work, and maybe somewhat awake in the evening. I was so tired last night I crashed at 7:30 on the couch. I finally went to bed around 9:00 and I don't recall being awake at all again until around 2 a.m. Not a fun experience, but then who said being an insomniac was fun?
Anyhow, thats my little novel for right now. I'd better get back to work.
Wish me luck, I'm too pre-occupied with baby related things to work. I should head off on disability, but knowing that it could be 20 more days, makes me think otherwise. I only have 10 weeks, I don't want to waste almost three of them waiting for him, so I continue to "work". That's the four letter word I hate most of all.
35 weeks, more coming soon...
Fetal development in pregnancy week 39:
Whether you give birth tomorrow or next week, it's pretty much all the same for your baby-- they are now truly R-E-A-D-Y to face the big bright world outside of your womb. Speaking of wombs, your body is priming up for the big moment and hopefully, you're as prepared mentally as you can be. Your baby is well stocked up on fat, all their organs have put on the finishing touches. Here's hoping your child is already in the birthing position and basically just "hanging out" waiting for that elusive moment when all sysytems synchronize in your body to trigger the labor process.
And how's mom doing? We know you're antsy for the big moment, but let's step back a minute and talk about what it takes to get to the point where you’re finally holding your sweet little miracle in your arms. Are you mentally ready to embark on the oh-so-fun adventures of labor? Take a moment to review all your preparations If you're giving birth at the hospital, don't forget socks-- they always over air-condition the place for handling the pain (breathing techniques etc.). Don't forget you're going to have some physical signs prior to labor: 1) you'll lose the mucous plug sometime before labor sets in, 2) the good ol' water breaking (doesn't happen to all women), 3) and finally, before the contractions kick in, it's likely you'll see some brownish-red discharge in your underwear-- charmingly called "bloody show."
And how about all those little details? Have you got yourself a back-facing infant seat for the ride home? Is their adorable "first outfit" all packed up? Where's that list of family and friends you're going call with the happy news? Do NOT forget the camera!!! If you're giving birth at the hospital, don't forget socks-- they always over air-condition the place. Also, if you're not having a home birth, bring your pillow-- you know it's better and comfier than anything they're going to provide for you. Lastly, have you ironed out all the details of your birth plan with your caregiver? It's best to clarify all your preferences prior to serious labor, because once you're puffing like, well, a woman in labor, it's highly unlikely you're going to have the presence of mind to talk it out clearly.
Yesterday my co-workers threw me a suprise shower. Suprise. Not that it really was a suprise to me. I'd asked my mom if she'd heard anything about an office shower, and she said she couldn't say anything about it. Which of course, means yes. A few days later she asked me what I thought we should have at one of the partners retirement party. Well that becomes a huge issue because a few years back, he had two major heart attacks and can't eat much of anything.... at least not anything any of us would want to eat day in and day out. Rabbit food, no meat, no fat, no sugar.... Yuck!!!!!!!!!!
Well then a few days later I saw a memo to Nick's Cafe, one of our most favorite catering spot with all my favorites. It was said to be delivered on the 28th. It didn't say who it was for, and I wasn't snooping, it just was on top. I dismissed it without a thought but then it crept back into my mind a few days ago (I think on Monday). So I waited and no one said anything. Then Wednesday night my cousin (who works with my mother and I) pulled my mother aside and started talking in hush hush tones. I knew immediately what it was, but still played dumb. I got on the elevator and went on my way home.
I called my mom and asked her waht Kate (cousin) was jibber jabbering about. She was quiet for about a minute and then she made up an excuse about not being able to understand Kate and how she's always blathering about something....
Thursday morning I woke up, put on my best work clothes and headed off to work. I looked for any clues in th office that it was the day, but there was nothing. I promised myself I wouldn't be disapointed, but I was really hoping still. Around 11:45 the managing partner called me into the conference room. She said she had a question about the calendar. Immediately I started panicking. What'd I do now, but halfway around the corner I caught a glimpse of the conference room just before she shut the door. It was decorated. I couldn't help it. I walked in there with the worlds biggest smile. I tried to deny it but I'm prettyu sure they know I knew something, which of course I did.
Yesterday one of my co-workers made a prediction that I'd have the baby today. All I can say is I hope she's right. I'm so uncomfortable. I've been having almost one constant contraction, but they aren't extremely painful. I have a doctors appt later today. Hopefully she'll say its time to go to the hospital.
I love you little baby. I love you so much.
It's official. I'm a mommy. Patrick Ryan was born January 2, 2007 3:07 a.m. after an emergency c-section. The whole story is a long one but I'll put the short one on here.
NYE I went into labor. Nothing painful at all, but regular. Around midnight they started getting painful, but they weren't regular anymore.
All day New Years Day I walked around making the rounds at the baby stores returning what I didn't need and getting what I did.
That night I started timing them. Nothing regular, but they were coming every 2-7 minutes. I called L&D who told me to come in just in case.
When I got there the contrax practically stopped. The MW stripped my membranes and told me to walk for two hourse. So we went walking. We weren't gone for one hour when my contrax were so painful and coming right on top of one another and we returned to the hospital to be told I was only 2 centimeters and not in active labor. I was too afraid of going home. I was afraid the baby would come in the car if we did. Somehow or another we convinced the MW to let me use their shower. I got on my birthing ball and used every position possible they had showed us in our childbirth class. The contractions slowed down and two hours later I was five centimeters.
They admitted me and got me into a room just as my waters broke. Wow, what an experience that was. The MW told me not to push no matter how strongly I felt the urge because it would cause the cervix to swell and I'd need a c-section. Everyone but DH left the room. I told him I needed to pee before the epideural, so I got up, but as soon as I did, I had to push. He begged me not too and ran out to get the nurse. She checked me and in a half hour I had progressed five more centimeters and was ready to push. They didn't get me an epideural because they thought by the time it kicked in I would have a baby. I pushed for two hours. I was exhausted. I knew something was wrong because I'd already had two doctors and in that hospital, you don't have doctors unless something is wrong, but I didn't realize what was happening. No one would tell me anything. Someone said he had no hair, someone else said he had lots of hair, someone else told me he had red hair. I gave up asking after a while. The newest doctor asked me if I had wanted an epi. I cried and nodded yes. I didn't have anymore energy. The anasthesiolgist came in and gave me the epi. I pushed for another hour when they told me he had stopped progressing. They opted for the vacuum and told me to give two more pushes. I pushed with everything in me, but his little head was stuck.
I was so doped up from the epideural that I wasn't aware of anything going on. All of a sudden I realized his heartbeat was dropping. They told me that they had to do an emergency c-section. I started crying. They wheeled me into the OR hitting no less than six walls on the way. This was not going to be a smooth ride. I knew then that it was really an emergency. No one wold tell me what was going on. They administered the full dosage of the epi but I could still feel my left side, so they knocked me out under general anathesia. Two hours later when I woke up I had the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen. He's perfect.
6 lbs, 10 oz.
20 and 3/4 inches.
I couldn't be more in love if I tried.
Okay so it still ended up being a long story, but you should see the one I posted on the January board. This is a nursery rhyme compared to that epic novel.
I can't beleive he's really almost three weeks old. Where did the time go? He's such a cutie pie. I couldn't ask for a better baby. He's the most precious thing in the world that could ever happen to me. DH and I are already talking about adding another one to our family although I think that might be pushing our luck. We seem to have the perfect child. He rarely cries, at least for long. He sleeps really well and sleeps at night for five hour stretches. I don't know how I got so lucky. I am so in love with my precious gift from above. So I guess now, it's really time to move this journal into the general journals. I'm no longer pregnant and my baby is growing up before my eyes. So thanks all for reading this and for putting up with my tirades and rants and everything else.