I can't believe i'm pregnant! I decided I would like to journal my experience through this pregnancy so that I never forget and maybe one day when my little one has grown, he/she would like to read it! So here goes!
I am 26 years old and my husband who is 28 and I have been married 2.5 years. We have decided it's a great time to start our family! For the past 2 months i've done nothing but read and research and chat on forums about babies, not to mention how many times i've watched "A baby story" and "bringing home baby" on TLC.
We decided we would not start trying until our vacation to Hawaii was over in April. I went off the birth control pill end of March and immediately started charting my temps, cervical mucus and position. Days kept passing by with no sign of ovulating and I thought "oh great, i'm going to have issues getting pregnant". I had even bought OPK's and they kept coming up negative. A few days before leaving for Hawaii, I began to have more fertile signs but the OPK's were still negative and my temps were still low so I figured "well maybe we'll conceive in Hawaii! That would be cool!"
Friday, April 25th we left for Hawaii at 4am. I did not temp that morning since it was so early and didn't bother temping 2 days after that either since I figured the time difference might screw up my temps anyway! I did continue to check cm and cp and both were seemingly fertile!! So hubby and I :lovebed: almost every day. Something told me to start temping again so on monday of our vacation I did and my temp had risen!! :eek: "hunny!! I think I ovulated!! And we covered our bases!" 2 high temps later "omigod, we COULD be pregnant!"
So we continued to enjoy our vacation, not thinking TOO much about possibly being pregnant although I did notice a bit of on and off nausea, continued creamy cervical mucus, and a dip in temps one day that could mean implantation!! I have to admit, I started getting my hopes up. Especially after I almost threw up on the boat to go snorkeling (I never get sea sick).
We arrived home from Hawaii on a Sat afternoon and although I told myself I would not do a HPT for another few days since it was so early, I just could not help myself when I woke up Sunday morning. It was 6am (darn jet lag!) and I snuck into the bathroom with my test. I figured it would just come up negative and i'd say to myself "well that doesn't mean anything because it's too early, i'll try again later in the week".
....waiting....watching the stick the whole time....omigosh is that a very faint line showing up?!?! My heart started pounding. I was in disbelief. Surely i'm seeing things!! I walk away and come back to it in 5 mins. Holy cow! That's a DEFINITE positive!! WHAT!?!?!?! I'm pregnant??? For about 10 mins I paced around the house while DH was still in bed just scared, giddy, wanting to laugh, wanting to cry, then a bit of denial.
I wanted to tell my DH in a special way but could not think of anything. I figured i'd have a few more months until this would happen so I didn't have anything in mind! I thought maybe i'll make him breakfast in bed for "daddy". Well he got out of bed before breakfast was done so that was a no go! haha. I kept quiet while he told me his plans for the day. Our washing machine broke and we needed a new one so he mentioned getting one bigger for our growing family in the next few years. I said "try next 9 months". He said "yeah hopefully!" and I said "no definitely! I took a test. It's confirmed!"
He was so happy and said "why didn't you tell me right away! I'm going to be a daddy?". We immediately went to :lovebed: to celebrate!
I decided to go to the store and buy another one, different brand, just to make sure. I got a digital. I also bought a preg book, a fitpregnancy mag, and a bib for my mom saying "i love grandma" on it. Excited much?
I came home with my goodies and took the second test. Sure enough "pregnant" popped up. Still can't believe it. We were going to dinner later that night for my brother's birthday and I could not decide whether or not to tell my parents, but me being the impatient one I am, decided to go for it! I decided to wrap up my digital HPT along with the bib and give it to my mom as an "early mothers day gift" since my dad wasn't going to be around for actual mothers day to see it. She was speechless. She was like "you are?!?!?!" and I said "yup" and she was so happy!
But for some reason, right after I told them, I realized how real this was and started to feel alittle funny about it. I'm not a mom, i'm a daughter. It feels weird to me to be considering myself a soon to be mom and now i'm not so sure I like it! I spent the next few days feeling a little unsure about my situation. I worried about my changing body, and how my relationship with DH may change.
By Wednesday, my fear of miscarriage kicked in! Funny because that morning I thought to myself "well if I miscarry, that's ok because this was alittle earlier than expected anyway and I should have gotten into shape BEFORE getting pregnant". By the afternoon after doing way too much research on "miscarriages", I was SURE that would happen to me! I don't want to lose my baby! I decided to run to the store and buy another HPT! Took it while at work, and it was still positive! Thank God! That calmed my fears...until the next day. Noticed I seemed to be losing my symptoms. This time I was SURE i'd lose the pregnancy. Panicked and took my temp mid afternoon. That was stupid because it means NOTHING..and was low. Almost made me cry. So I took yet another HPT. It was twice as dark as the day before! Ahhhh ok...so maybe I am ok.
Today is now friday, my temp dipped SLIGHTLY this morning sending me into panick ONCE AGAIN!! I can't take this!! That's it! I'm done temping! (Still didn't stop me from taking my fifth HPT though which was EVEN DARKER! Darkest yet!) Awesome!!