But I figured I really need to get this out of my system.

I am terrified, and no not so much of the labour in just a few weeks, but of doing this alone. I swear Ben doens't want to be there. I am scared to death that it will end up being his mum that watches Belle while I am in labour and I am afraid that I will be in there totally alone, without a single person that I actually know while I am in Labour.

I keep saying we need to make plans as to who will be watching Belle and how things are going to go. He says okay and goes off and does something else though. I thought that moving here away from all the **** my parents were putting us through would give up the oppurtunity to be close but to me it doesn't seem like we are at all.

I can't even bring it up, cause if I do he says he is insulted and hurt that I am saying these things and that I don't think he is going to be there for me like he was with Belle.