Little Stuffin' Baby

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Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102
Little Stuffin' Baby

Today I am 4 weeks 2 days. I a really fighting the m/c paranoia today. I am praying so hard that this one will last. It took us 11 cycles to get here. Cycle #1 was a success initially but that pgcy failed at 6 wks. We tried for 9 more cycles until I went in to the OB to discuss a problem of midcycle spotting I was having. She suggested it might be uterine polyps. She scheduled me for an ultrasound. The u/s showed my uterine lining was way too thick, as it was probably not shedding the way it should. I brought in my BBT charts too. She said it looked like that although I was O'ing, I wasn't O'ing very good. My temps rose gradually instead of a nice sharp temp shift at O time. She said that both these problems could be corrected with Clomid. She said we would have to consider the possibility of twins. Of course I'll certainly take a 3-10% chance of twins over no baby at all! Told DH about the risk of twins and he (being a twin himself) said "Why would you call that a RISK?"

So my AF came on 11/13 and I went and filled the Clomid 50 mg prescription. Because of the messed up lining and Clomid helping to fix my goofy hormones, I had my AF for 10 days! On 11/24, I began feeling moderately bloated. I checked on the Clomid board and found out that's a definite symptom of O'ing on Clomid. My BBT jumped the next morning even though I had been using OPKs all the way through and never got a + or even close really. Someone convinced me to keep using OPKs so when on 11/26 I notice my CP was very high and open I ran to the store and bought another box of them. It was positive that night. SO exciting to finally see a + OPK. I never had seen one before. So we BD'd that night again. The next day - Thanksgiving Day after a big turkey dinner (really bad timing!), the bloating became extremely uncomfortable. When we got home, we BD'd again although it was nearly impossible for me being so bloated. The fatigue set in almost immediately afterwards. I have noticed some fatigue in the first few days after O before but it usually was very mild and ended about 4-5 DPO. This time it was not mild nor did it let up. Over the 2 week wait, I noticed more and more symptoms.... exhaustion - getting winded with any exhertion at all, nipples sensitive and breasts sore occasionally, frequent urination, and high body temp waking me up at night, and at 12 DPO I noticed I could no longer run up or down the stairs without a bra on or I had to hold them.

After months and months of unsuccessful TTC, I swore off all early testing. I held out until CD 28 which was 13 DPO from the definite O on Thanksgiving. My previous 5 cycles were 27 or 28 days. Finally after not going to the bathroom for 3-1/2 hours that night and knowing that I can hardly ever hold it that long during the night, I went ahead and tested using a Clearblue Easy Digital. It took about 45 seconds to show up "Pregnant" in the result window. Even feeling very confident I was pg because of the symptoms, my breath caught when I saw the result. I grabbed the test, ejected the stick, and ran up stairs motioning to Dave to come with me. I showed it to him and he said, "That's great Honey. I'm so happy." He's so calm and matter-of-fact about things. Later, he said something about already telling his friend/coworker Dave about me being pg. I just took the test an hour before so he was convinced enough by my symptoms that he told before I even tested.

When I look back over all the months of TTC, I can laugh now at how I overanalyzed every little twinge and upset tummy. The truth is that I have now become pg 4 times in my life and I've always been totally aware I was pg before I took the test. Oh, I tried to convince myself that some people get pg and don't have symptoms but deep down I knew I wasn't one of those people. I always know!

Well I'm running out of energy. Going to bed after praying for a healthy baby. G'night! Wink

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

4w 4d -- I am really exhausted today. I haven't had much in the way of nausea so that is making me worry a little. Boy I am tired though so that's a good sign. I am working tonight and I did last night too. I am going to have to set my alarm again tonight to get up and finish my spreadsheets when the files come in. I am begging the kids to get their stuff picked up now and get to bed. I guess I'll have to go prod them because Dave isn't here to do it. He's so good at it but he's in Miami for a shoot again. Fortunately for us, he only has 3 this year instead of 8 or 9 like last year.

At work today we picked 2004 holidays. I picked the day after T-giving, New Year's Eve, and July 5th (because July 4th is a Sunday so the office is closed on Monday in observance of it). I checked the schedule and saw that Mel has a 2 week vacation scheduled for right about when this baby will probably come. His wife is a union employee and had to pick vacation by seniority for next year already so it will be hard for her to change. I told them so they have plenty of time to make arrangements. I had already told Sue last week that I thought I was so she asked right away when she came in. When I told them in the meeting, they were very excited and Susan came and gave me a hug. She did the same when I told her I m/c'd in April. Mel talked about having his wife see about changing their vacation but Sue and Susan said they can cover with 2 people. I was relieved about that. Mel is such a nice guy. He's always ready to offer help in anyway he can. I didn't want to mess up his vacation plans they made this far in advance. Anyway, I told them that I will come back and take my evenings and weekends working from home as soon as I can because I'm taking 12 weeks off and my sick leave won't go that far. If I work my regular nights and weekend shifts, between comp time and sick pay, I should be able to take the whole 12 weeks with pay. I did tell them it was only on a need-to-know-basis because I am going to wait awhile before making it public.

Well enough for now. Time for bed.

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

Today was a bit nerve-wracking. I got up this morning to about a 1/2 inch of snow. I took the shovel and pushed the snow off the walks. It was very easy, more like sweeping than shoveling. I came back in the house and used the bathroom. I could see a really light tan tint to my CF. I didn't panic and just prayed a lot. It seemed to go away but in the afternoon I went to the bathroom again and saw a little pink streak on the TP. I have stayed remarkably call and it has completely subsided now. I am not going to freak out because that won't do any good. I told Dave. He said, "Isn't that a good thing?" I said it can be if it's implantation or it could be bad. No way to know. He just said to take it easy. I told him I'm going to stay home if it happens again tomorrow. I won't do anything but run the kids to and from school. If all is clear, I just go about my day but still take things as slow as possible. His flight gets in about 9 tomorrow night. He's going to have Danny pick him up so the kids and I don't have to go out that late on a school night. I told him to call me when he gets on the ground here because I should be up watching ER. He said he's had a really tough trip, working 14-16 hour days. He'll probably have an 80 hr wk or so.

Sleepy bear bedtime!

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

5w4d - Today I play the waiting game. I had a blood draw on Friday and a repeat one today. I did go to work on Thursday and Friday but on Thursday afternoon at about 4pm I went to the restroom before heading home and when I wiped I found red on the TP. It didn't come out on my undies, only the TP. I started to cry when I was leaving but I regained my composure and called the dr. She sent me for comparison blood draws. She said that if my Hcg is rising, she might put me on progesterone cream. If it's falling, we know it's over. From Friday to Monday the level should just about triple she said. Well, on Thurday during the night and then every day since at right around 4pm, I've had that same burst of red blood that then clears up right away. I have not passed clots and haven't notice any cramping other than from the constipation/diarrhea cycle I'm in right now. The only thing I feel that seems to be in the area of my uterus is more like a 1 second tingly sensation every now and then. I am really wondering if the cream will be the answer because the dr. said that progesterone can fluctuate during the day. I'm wondering if that's why this is happening every day at 4pm. The lab said that the dr. should have my test result from today by 3pm. I can calling right then because if she gives me a prescription I want to get it right away.

I have been praying so hard that this one sticks. I have some cheapy HPTs that I bought on line. I'm sure they aren't sensitive at all so I used the last tests I had every other day last week. Starting at 4w3d, the line was almost undetectable. If I hadn't know I was pg, I might have missed it. At 4w5d there was a faint but noticeable line. At 5w, the line was about half as dark as the control line and at 5w2d it was as dark as the control line. Unfortuntely I'm out now or I would have tested again today. Well, all I can do now is lay low and wait for the dr's office to call back about my test results.

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

What a huge sigh of relief! I just got a call from my OB's assistant. She said (and I forget the exact #'s - I was too excited) that my HcG level on Friday was 800 and some and today it was 2200 or 2300. It almost tripled. That's exactly what Dr O'Reilly said on Friday. She hoped to see it "almost triple" and that's what it did! WOOOHOOO!!! She's going to talk to dr about my bursts of blood that happen every day at 4pm. Dr. will be in the office tomorrow at 9am. I told her I thought that maybe that's the progestrone level dr thought might need to be propped up a little. It's 2:40 now so we'll see what happens today and then talk to the dr. tomorrow. But for now we (I called Dave right away) are very happy with the results so far!!!!!

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

6w - Today is Christmas and wohoo! I'm still pg (as far as I know). The kids loved their presents and are happy, happy campers today. Aaron got his bike he's been wanting for so long. He's out riding it now. Amanda got her Video Now player and we all got a portable DVD player for car trips. Dave got Gamecube and the Star Wars games that are only available on that system so he and Aaron are really happy about that.

As for the pgcy, well, I continue to bleed slowly with an occasional small burst or puddle or whatever you want to call it. I had to call the dr. a couple nights ago because I was having a lot of pain in my right hip socket and up around in my right side. It went all the way through back to front and the side too. It wasn't severe but bad enough that I could not sleep. I told her I thought it was constipation. She asked a few questions, thought about it for a few minutes and then agreed with me. She told me to get a stool softener so Dave was out at midnight getting it at Osco. Thank God for our 24-hour pharmacy right in the neighborhood! It took about 9 hours to work but I felt so so much better. She also told me to take warm showers in the meantime and wow what a relief that was. I was just about to take another one when everything finally began to move. Anyway, I mentioned the bleeding and she said not to worry about it. That's easier said than done but I'm trying. I really haven't had any clots or tissue or cramping other than what I attributed to the constipation. The dr. also had me reschedule my 1st OB appt to next Tues so they'll have the U/S tech there. I'll have the U/S first then my OB appt after. I am praying my heart out that we'll see a heartbeat on the scan. I'll be 6w5d by then so she should be able to find it by then....if it's there. I told Dave I need him there because if there isn't a hb, I am going to need him with me. I'll probably be OK and handle it but I don't know what she'll want me to do next and I won't want to drive myself home. On the other hand, I've heard about clots caused by the formation and attaching of the placenta or small uterine tears that are caused by they placenta attaching. As the placenta grows over these things it just seals them off and heals them. I hope this is something like what the case is for me. I'd feel much better if the bleeding would stop. Until then, I'm trying really hard to take the dr's advice and not worry about it.

Joined: 03/13/03
Posts: 102

6w1d - A milestone day for me actually. When I was pg last winter I m/c'd at 6w1d. I was already aware from the previous 36 hours that it was on the verge of happening but I woke up that morning with very painful cramping...not as bad as labor but much more painful than my worst period cramps ever. I had an OB appt that morning. It was supposed to be an annual checkup that I then changed to my 1st OB but when I got there I was in so much pain. I actually miscarried right there at the OB's office. She gave me something for the pain and I felt much better physically so we were on our way by a little after 10am. We were scheduled to be at the county courthouse to get married at 11am. We made it on time and then we ended up sitting there for 1/2 hour waiting for the judge to come get us. If I had lost my baby and missed my marriage appt that day, I would have really been beside myself. Dealing with the m/c was all I could handle. I needed something good to happen that day to ease the pain and it did. I married my best friend in the world.

Back to today... I am still having small amounts of bleeding but it is very slow and no cramping. Still the only cramping I've had was due to a cycle of diarrhea/constipation that I am in right now. The dr. said to break the cycle by eating 6 whole fruit & veggies per day. I'm having a hard time with that pace. I'm just not that hungry so I've only been getting 3-4. Other than that, I feel great. I've had no nausea or if I have it just been momentary adn then goes away. Considering the fact that I know my HcG levels have been in the 1000's since last weekend and I'm not nauseous is great. Dave commented on how much bigger my breasts are already too. They are a little bit sore every now and then and the nipples are still pretty sensitive most of the time but nothing too annoying. The dr said no intercourse due to the unexplained bleeding so we've been taking care of business other ways and he's been very happy with that! LOL! We haven't had sex for 2 weeks now. WOW! Hopefully, the bleeding will stop and the U/S will show everything is great in there so we'll be back to normal very soon.

Today I'm going to meet Lisa for lunch maybe and enjoy my day. I need to do laundry so I'll get that going too. Christmas Eve we went to Mom & Dad's and got home late. I was very tired. I worked yesterday (Christmas Day) so today I'm ready for a relaxing day.