Mine, His, now ours

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carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
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Mine, His, now ours

I'm Christina. I have two children from a prev marriage (mine) my DH has two from a previous marriage (his) and we are unexpectedly expecting a new LO in May (ours).

I have a DD from 8/2001 and DS from 9/2003. DSS's are 11/2003 and 9/2006. We are expecting a boy (yes, the disappointment was audible from all of the kids, and the grandparents - no girls on DH's side and only 3 out of 11 girls on my side). But that's what God has blessed us with so we are ready and happy to welcome our little guy.

I'm pretty behind here as I'm already 22 weeks today so I'll try to catch up as best I can.

I don't have a journal from my first two - wish I did. I know my DH doesn't have one from either of his. So I figured since this is our last I should be able to look back and remember.

I'll do my best to recap the fist 22 weeks over the next couple of days.

So I got my BFP on September 19th much to my surprise! Here's the reproductive history prior to BFP:

1. on depo from Jan 2006 to my last shot in May 2008 (doc wanted me off because I was developing some side effects).
2. Doc would not put me on the pill because I had fluctuating high BP and she said that could kick me right into chronic hypertension. She said use other bc instead.
3. No AF until June 2009 - a full year after last shot.
4. 3 irregular cycles.
5. Expected AF on 9/18/2009 and bled on 9/16 - thought it was AF but only bled for one day.
6. I waited until Saturday morning because I really thought it was a wonky cycle but then I felt a little weird. Nothing I could put my finger on but I just felt weird.
7. I tested and got that BFP. Showed my DH and whoa - that was just, well, weird.

With four children already in our lives this was not planned and we made our attempts at prevention without hormones. But we were offered a chance to have a child together and both of us felt that this was just meant to be. We will find a way to make it work.

I spent the first 6 weeks after my BFP in a bit of a daze. DH (well, SO at the time) and I were finalizing the plans for our wedding on 10/9 so I was busy busy busy. The ceremony was very small and went great for the most part. No one knew there was an extra little person in the room but us - a sweet little secret I will always treasure.

I was looking for some support during this time and found pg.org - which has been wonderful!!!

Ok, more later but at least I got a start - no more procrastinating - my last little LO deserves this loving journal and so do I.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554
The first few weeks...

So now I'll try to remember and capture the first few weeks.

October was a blue with the wedding and kids and school and work. I was feeling mild to moderate nausea most days and admittedly missing my evening glass of wine. Trying to get ready for Halloween with the kids and making sure everyone has what they need each day made the time go very quickly.

I had my first appt on 10/20/09 and I was nervous. But we found the heart beat right away with a trans-v u/s - what a little rush that was. My BP was high and with my age and asthma my regular OB referred me to a perinatologist for more elevated care.

I wasn't thrilled about that because I really love my regular OB but she isn't doing deliveries anymore anyway so I sucked it up and agreed.

My first appointment at the new doc was ok but I did get another u/s at 11 weeks and the baby looked great - strong h/b and wiggling all over the place. DH looked so happy.

We opted for the extra Down's screening so we set all that up.

In the mean time I was trying to hide my bloated look at work and feeling just so weird all the time. It's been a while since I went through all this with Anthony. Plus DH and I have been having our issues making things so stressful. We both agreed to counselling (which we have yet to start) to help us through. We want to make a great life for ourselves, our other children, and our new LO and in order to do that we need a little help - and that's ok.

In November we had the holidays to start thinking of and another u/s. We opted not to do an amnio even though our risk for Down's was slightly elevated. We chose to wait for the level 2 u/s to see if any soft markers were present. This was a very stressful time. But overall November was rather unremarkable - I'm thankful for that.

I told my boss about the pg at about week 13. He was very supportive as were my colleagues. Even though work is stressful it's so nice to have a supportive team to work on - it makes all the difference.

Between weeks 10 and 13 my nausea started to subside. By week 15 it was gone completely and my energy level started to pick up some. Now just waiting for that magic moment when I feel the baby move for the first time I'm hoping some time after week 16.

December was even more stressful. We got a new roof (through insurance) which we are still working on the finishing touches with, found out that my work location is moving even farther away from home - ugh. Started looking for child care options for the new LO b/c I want to breast feed so I want him close to my work for the first year. That has all had me in a tizzy since then - still working on all of it.

One wonderful thing was that around the 20th (a little over 17 weeks) I felt LO move for the first time - so cool! That really makes it hit home.

LO moves a lot!!! Amelia was a mover and shaker too. Anthony was a bit of a lazy belly-dweller Smile but once he came out he hasn't stopped moving yet. We'll have to wait and see what this little guy will be like!

Another one of the best parts of December is that on the 23rd we had the level 2 u/s. No soft markers for Down's so the risk dropped in half and we got the money shot - boy all the way!!!

We told the other kids. Everyone was admittedly a little disappointed b/c we have so many boys in the family. But I reassured everyone that this new little guy was going to be awsome. Plus the fact of the matter is we have LOTS of boy stuff! Amelia is already in mothering mode.

By Jan 1 I was 19 weeks and fast approaching the 1/2 way mark. Feeling LO move every day. We ordered new windows for the house and we're still struggling to finalize the roofing payments and stuff. It's a lot to take on while I'm still feeling pretty tired most days.

But we got the basement walls painted and in a week we'll have the flooring done. Then the windows and hopefully the roofing will be resolved as well.

Then we can concentrate on the walk-in closet we started in our room 3 months ago. That's where LO will sleep until he's sleeping longer hours on his own.

Ok, more later.

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Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

Ok, a little more before the weekend hits.

DH got to feel this little guy move for the first time right at 21 weeks. He was able to feel him move again last night at 22 weeks. None of the kids have been able to feel that yet but they have been so patient - they'll get to soon.

Over all I feel pretty good most of the time. I have heart burn some days and I've had to use my asthma in haler quite a bit more often as i get bigger. The good news is I've only gained about 9 lbs at this point. I hope to keep the weight gain minimal since I was already heavy to begin with. DH and I will have a time losing weight togehter this summer!

That sums up most of everything to this point. My tail bone hurts by the end of the work day and I'm ready for bed by 9 but that's the way it goes. I keep enjoying feeling this little guy squirming around and hope everything continues on it's way.

I have a u/s scheduled in 3 weeks along with my glucose test - should be fun! Well, the u/s will be Smile

Right now I'm thinking I will use a ball to sit on at work to reduce my tail bone pain - it hurts and makes the rest of my back hurt too.

That's all for now - on to the weekend!

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Joined: 09/23/09
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So we had a pretty good weekend but too full of work. DH decided we HAD to start on flooring the basement. Now my back and hips are paying for it.

I haven't felt this little guy move as much over the last few days but his heart beat sounds good on the doppler. I can't wait until the next u/s, I love looking at him already.

Amelia is so sweet and every time she sees me she gives me a kiss and my belly a kiss. I'm so lucky to have her.

The boys mostly are still fascinated by this little guy's heart beat.

I've been beginning to feel so unprepared for all this. I'm struggling with finind child care and we don't have all the "stuff" we need. I know we still have time but I keep thinking what if something happens and he comes early???

Well, I'm just trying to stay calm and hope for all good things.

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So after doing some flooring I am pretty sore. Plus yesterday I took a spill and landed on my knee and hand making things a little more painful for me Sad

But it's all good. This little guy has been moving a lot less (or that I can feel anyway) but it could be because he's changed positions. When I use the doppler to check his hb the tones are coming from a different place then they used to. It's still very reassuring to hear the hb whenever I want Smile

Amelia has picked out several outfits for this little guy - it's so cute. DH doesn't want to buy anything yet which is going against what I want to do. But we are making progress elsewhere and I know once the basement is done and the closet is closer to being done DH will come around.

I'll be 23 weeks tomorrow. 2 more weeks and if this little guy were to come early he would have a great chance of making it! Seems like a good milestone to me!

I keep looking at baby stuff and thinking about Amelia's and Anthony's births. Funny how that happens.

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We had a very busy weekend this past weekend. We worked on the basement floor and the skylight in our bathroom (framing, insulation, etc). We still aren't done with either but much further along in the process.

I have to take it easy today though. With the extra weight and my center of gravity shifted forward - not to mention the extra hormones floating around in my system - I'm pretty sore. My lower back and hips were hurting so badly last night. I'm feeling a bit better this morning but still sore. And DH wants to finish up the insulation tonight, ugh.

But then we'll concentrate on the finishing touches in the basement and the walk in closet.

The fun part is I bought a car seat with stroller and extra base as well as a pack and play. We weren't going to do that initially but Babies r us had an old car seat exchange program so I took advantage of that. It was still expensive but 25% less expensive with out the trade in - not too bad.

We sitll have several more items to purchase that won't be cheap but all the really big stuff is done, whew.

I listened to my little guy's hb this morning as I often like to do when I have a few minutes along. It so nice and always puts a smile on my face.

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Hehe - LO was kicking so hard last night my whole belly was moving - so cool to see!

I've been having some BH contractions which I didn't really get with Amelia or Anthony - so that's kind of a new experience for me. It also gives me some hope that maybe I can labor without the aid of drugs this time. I would like to avoid the pitocin if possible.

I've started thinking about a short but sweet birth plan. Funny, you'd think after going through this twice already I would know what to do. But my L&D with Amelia was so not what I wanted and so out of control it feels almost surreal - like it wasn't me.

Anthony's was a bit better but I still needed induction so again, a piece I couldn't have any control over.

This is it. My last opportunity to get it the way I want it. For some reason I'm terrified.

BUT...I bought a Wonder Woman tank/underwear set so I think I'll be wearing that at the hospital - that should help me feel the true wonder that I am Smile

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I've been having a rough couple of days. I haven't been sleeping well and when I do I'm having terrible night mares. I wonder if LO is turning head down or something and that's what's causing my insane dreams - that's just a theory though.

Yesterday I also had a terrible tummy ache - gone now, whew. I'm excited for tomorrow's appointment since we should be getting another u/s so I'll get to see this little guy again Smile DH will be able to come too which is so nice.

But, I can't seem to shake my uneasiness - I'm sure it's lack of sleep. I might ask my doc to check my iron count - maybe I'm getting a little anemic.

We have the hospital tour in 2 1/2 weeks so that should be fun. I purchased the baby bjorn carrier so things are moving along.

I've also scheduled belly photos with a photographer for late next month and I'm really looking forward to that.

I really hope the hospital will lift the visitor restrictions before May - I want the kids to be able to come see their new baby brother (and me) in the hospital. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

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Erg, not a great start today. After I dropped off DD and DS I realized I forgot my purse and my GTT drink at home and had to go all the way back. DH was trying to be nice and grabbed my purse for me - unfortunately that wasn't the best idea, poor guy.

Anyway I was super late to work. I've been sooo tired I feel like lead. I stopped by DH's work to get my purse. I'll be glad to leave early today for my appt.

I can't wait to see this little guy but I can wait to see how much weight I've gained - yikes, not looking forward to it.

But LO has been pretty active today which is nice - especially since I have fallen twice in the past two day - I hate that.

Now to go find some chocolate...

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Joined: 09/23/09
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Ooo, what a depressing last post. Didn't turn out so hot. I failed the GTT screen and went for the 3 hour yesterday. I also busted the passenger side mirror in the parking garage that day. Should get a new one tomorrow for DH to install.

DH made a urology appointment for next month. I'm glad but a little sad. I mean, 5 is good but 6 could be great? Erg, maybe not, I don't know how I feel about it.

LO is looking good and measure a week ahead at 2 lbs. He even has hair already!!! That must explain all the heart burn!

Both DSS's are sick so I'm not looking forward to tonight. DS had strep on Tuesday when I picked him up but we went to the doc and he was already feeling better by night time with his antibiotics on board.

I just don't want to get sick. Being sick while pg is waaaaay worse than when not pg. Plus I've missed so much work over the last 2 weeks with sickness and snow days I just can't afford any more time off.

I guess what will be will be - keep washing hands and covering mouths. The only problem is MIL doesn't enforce those rules so I'll have to disinfect the whole house tomorrow when I get home after her being there.

Well, I'm down to 98 days to go - woo hoo!!! I told DH and he was like, "I better get working on that closet!" funny Smile

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Good news is I passed the 3 hour GTT - yay!

LO hasn't been moving around as much these last couple of days. I still feel him just not as much. I think he's changed positions again because my bladder isn't in constant pain anymore - that's the good part, right? But I do miss those strong kicks and punches!

But one more week until the 3rd trimester officially. DH made some good progress on the closet and I'm hoping we'll be ready to paint it in another week or two. Which will be great!!!

I need to go pick up the bassinet from my sister and I need to get the breast pump out and test it and get any extra parts I need. I'll pick up some BFing supplies and a few sleep gowns for the baby. Then if he decides to make an early appearance we'll be ready. We have pretty much everything else, whew!

The kids have been "making fun" of my big belly. I truthfully feel like a whale! It's all in good fun though. It's getting harder and harder to get up from a sitting position - hehe. I had forgotten about all that and it makes me laugh now! I am so enjoying this, I can't believe how much I'm enjoying it. It's really beginning to feel like a blessing now.

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Well, I spoke a little too soon on the GTT. I had my 27 week appt yesterday and doc-man said he wasn't happy with my fasting number (100) - too high. He said that can be a sign of GD even if the other numbers were ok.

So now I'm signed up for a 2 hour class next week on diet and finger pricking - yes, I have to test my blood several times a day - ugh. It's worth it but still, I'm not super thrilled about this.

The other bs part of this is that we finally got my records from Georgia from DD birth and guess what? They didn't fill ANYTHING out!!!! Basically just that I was there and had a kid. Nothing whatsoever about the ordeal I went though.

So I gave doc the best account that I could - 3 hours of pushing, vac extract yadda yadda. He said he considers this another shoulder dystocia. So I'm 2 for 2 in the dystocia department.

As a result (and the high fasting blood sugar) he assigned me the class and blood testing. He wants to closely monitor Mason's size and says if there's any question as we get closer to the end we can decide on a c-section then. So it looks like I'm still 50/50 for c-section.

Oh, and as I suspected my iron is low so I have to go get some iron pills. Yuck. As if (TMI) pooping wasn't difficult enough these days!

On an up note - gotta keep it positive - Mason is looking good. He's been moving around a lot more over the last couple of days which makes me feel good.

At any rate - onward. I need a weekend!

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Joined: 09/23/09
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We had a good weekend. Took DD & DS to their school's fair and they had a great time.

Mason is a mover and shaker these days which makes me laugh.

We went on a tour of the hospital which was just as I expected it - kinda boring. It looks pretty much the same as when I was there with DS. But I think DH was glad to go. He's really started thinking about getting ready, which is nice.

I need to finish purchasing some pump stuff, a few clothing items for me and Mason, get the bassinet from my sister and I think we're good to go.

Then it's a waiting game Smile

I have a crazy week this week though so this week will go fast. I have to take mom to the hospital tomorrow for an out patient procedure on her kidney. Then I'll be home most of the day Wed. (except for 1 meeting) so my mom doesn't have to watch the kids. Thursday is the diabetes class until 11:30. Friday is work at home (or where ever) because it's moving day at the office. Monday I'll report to the new location - ugh.

So all in all it will go by quickly and before you know it I'll be on a 10 week countdown. It's going by so quickly - especially since Mason will be my last baby.

DH and I go to the urologist for a snipping consultation next week too. Then off to Florida to visit Gwen then spring break - ahhhhhhhh it's toooo much!!!!

Phew - just thinking about it all makes me tired Smile

Oh well, hopefully my new iron will kick in and start giving me a little more energy.

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Eek, haven't posted for a while.

Anyway. Florida was nice. It was good to see Gwen and just get away from things for a couple of days. Actually I wish I would have scheduled an extra day there - 2.5 days just wasn't enough.

Anyway, I've been testing my glucose for about 12 days now. Doc says it's GD but I still think that's not right. Anyway he has me continuing my testing and taking a glucose lowering drug once a day. I still have to get that filled. Plus my lancet broke so I have to go pick up another one today.

I'm a little disappointed in my body for this but I guess that's the way it goes.

There's been lots of talk on our board about labor already. I'm at the tail end of May and we have a few ladies that are actually April babies so I'm just not feeling it. Labor. I have an aversion given my previous 2 experiences. Plus I'm not sure if we'll be doing c-section or not this time around. I wish I was more excited about it. Frankly I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up with Mason safe a sound in my arms - skip the whole birthing thing.

I know, that's pretty selfish of me.

I guess I feel a little down these days. It's been crazy at work with the office move and I've been taking so much time off for kids school stuff and doctor's appointments and the GD class etc, etc. I feel like nothing is "normal" right now. It's ok, things will shake out I'm not brooding too hard. Just lamenting my current sate and longing for slightly less craziness.

We have all the kids this weekend. I need to figure out something to do with them on Saturday or I will go crazy. We also have my pg pics Sunday morning - I hope those turn out ok!

What I really need right now is some sleep! Oh, and maybe a Tums Smile

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So Thursday DH got his snip done. He's doing pretty well. I admit I'm a little sad to know my baby carrying days are almost officially over. I happen to like being pg.

Other than that things are ok. I over did it this past weekend taking care of all the kids and DH. I really paid for it Sunday night with lots of pain - everywhere. But I'm feeling a bit better today.

I have an appointment Thursday that I don't really feel like going to. I never really did see the point of a quick 10 minute appointment to check urine, weight, bp and nothing else. I mean I could do that at home. Whatever.

I have a very busy day at work today that I totally wish I could blow off. But that's the way it works. Amelia's piano is over on Wed's now so that will help lesson the stress a little. She wants private lessons so hopefully we can get her started on that soon. The boys start karate in a couple of weeks - that should be fun!

Mason is moving around great and we had our belly pics on Sunday. They turned out pretty nice and I can't wait to get some printed.

Ok now I have to go to a meeting and then maybe I can go potty - I really need to Sad

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We had a very productive weekend. We are ready to install the flooring in the closet finally. We'll try to get that done by the end of Sunday. Then we can move on to some finish work and clothes moving.

The boy's beds are supposed to come this week so we'll have them delivered on 4/17 and get them all set up in their shared room together. I expect a few bumps and bruises along the way but hopefully they'll both adjust nicely.

Had a NST this morning. Mason impressed the ladies with his vibrancy Smile He was quite the little mover and shaker and knocked the sensor almost off my belly. Then he got the hiccups Smile

I'll have another one Thursday. I'm still not 100% sure why we're doing these but quite frankly it was pretty relaxing so I'm all for it.

I'm trying really hard to watch what I eat (said with a girl scout cookie in hand) because I gained like 4 lbs at my last visit - oops. but we're almost there - final count down so to speak.

Doc wants to deliver me 2 weeks early. I'm shooting for the 21st. We'll have to battle it out over the next few weeks I guess. mom's will vs doctor's will. He thinks I'll defer to him just because he has an MD - well, he's got another thing coming! I aint no pansy. I'm used to being right and getting what I want (well, mostly anyway) so he'll have to deal with that!

I have to do what's best for everyone. We have a lot of moving parts in this family that must all be considered.

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Another stress-free NST today - I could get used to sitting around reading for 40 minutes Smile

Doc said Mason "looks good, almost too good" but I didn't have a chance to ask him what that meant. Plus he gave me a script for Ambien CR so I can get some sleep. I'll take that Saturday night to start.

Time to get the Easter baskets together. Next year we'll have 1 more!!!

I am pretty tired today but have been loving feeling Mason wiggle around. He's quite the little mover and shaker at times. He also gets hiccups a lot - so funny Smile

I am really ready for the weekend and don't feel like working tomorrow. Oh well, someone's gotta do it!

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The Easter weekend was pretty nice. Went to Dad's for the kids egg hunt and for the first time in years we found them all - including a few from last year!

The kids were so happy to get their baskets. Then they had a "parade" around the cul-de-sac - so cute.

I took some Ambien Fri and Sat nights so I got some good sleep. I was feeling great on Sunday and got all the summer clothes out for the kids and did a bunch of other stuff. I really didn't take a break until 10 pm. I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over did it. By the time I tried to go to sleep I was in so much pain. I couldn't get comfortable at all. I was up until about 1 am and then up every hour after that. Needless to say I am wasted tire today.

I almost didn't come into work I feel so awful. I'm trying hard not to complain to anyone though.

Ah, and DH, sweetie that he can be, cut and painted my toes Smile That was fun. DD picked out the nail polish.

Another nice relaxing NST today. I wish I could start every Monday that way. Even my bp was down a little Smile Mason was moving great too.

Ok, now I just need to get through the next 3 hours and 40 minutes until I can leave - not that I'm counting or anything.

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So we have a birth date!!! We will welcome little Mason on 5/21 via c-section. After talking with the doc and weighing the options we think this will be safest for Mason which is what really counts.

I'm very anxious about it because it will be my first c-section. I'll be doing lots of research so I can know what to expect. I'll also be contacting a lactation consultant to help me prepare for the extra challenges of breast feeding post c-section.

But today I'm supposed to have another NST but it looks like I'll be taking Anthony with me as he's ill and not going to school today. I'll have to call and make sure that's ok.

I'm nervous but excited that we have a date! 5 1/2 weeks to go!!!!!!!!!

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Ok, we're getting closer and closer and I'm starting to panic - go figure.

We started working on getting the boys rooms together (took down the two older boys beds and put one of them in DSS#2's room) but we still have so much more to do. Their beds should be delivered tomorrow or Saturday so we can try to spend the weekend helping them make the room "theirs" instead of just DSS#1's room. I think it will be a bumpy transition but I do think we can make it work for them. DS is being as sweet and patient as can be about it, I am soooo impressed with how he's handling giving up his room. He's an amazing little kid.

I'm starting to feel very nervous about a c-section - especially since I know it's not "necessary" at this point. Of course the whole idea here is to prevent anything bad from happening with an early induction and my hisory of shoulder dystocia. Most docs would just demand a c-section with a history like mine so I should feel lucky that my wacky cocky doctor has given us a "choice" - of course that came with the caviat of "what's safest for the baby" - like that's really a choice.

Anyway, I'm nervous that everyone is going to expect me to be able to do more than I can do after the surgery. I'm scared of the post-op pain and most scared of whether or not I'll be successful with breast feeding.

I had a terrible and unsuccessful time b-fing with my DD and a difficult (although ultimately successful) time with my DS. I'm so worried that this will make it even harder for me given I've not had the easiest time with it in the past and that DH, the baby, me will all give up on it.

I also admit my total fatigue right now. I have 5 weeks to go and feel like I'm just not going to make it. I wish I could take the week off before hand but I just can't.

My feet are starting to swell and it's so tough for me to stay on them long enough during the week to work all day, make dinner, clean up, get the kids out to play or homework, get them ready for bed, make lunches, clean up some more before I collapse. When we have the kids I am not able to even think about sitting down until 9:30 at night and that's only if I don't have a pile of laundry waiting to be folded.

Before the last week or so I was holding up pretty well. Now I'm falling apart. It doesn't help that I am having trouble sleeping either.

Ugh. I shouldn't complain, I'm so blessed to have this last opportunity for a little baby in my life. I can handle a lot, I guess I'm struggling a little with these last few weeks.

It's funny, a co-worker's DD 20 years my junior is due 2 weeks before me and I guess she's miserable too - I had to smile at that. Not because she's miserable but because it makes me feel a little better to know that I do 50 times more work than that girl and I'm 20 years older than her and I'm holding my own - at least for now Smile

I haven't really posted to my board the last couple of days. I'm so tired and don't have much time to myself right now. I guess it's ok, no one seems to miss me - which is ok by me for right now, I'm kinda grumpy anyway and I don't want to make anyone mad. I think I'll just take a couple of days off from posting and see if my mood improves.

I'll feel better if we get the boys rooms done and then our closet done next weekend. Fat chance.

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Oh, I guess I should add that DH got a new TV last night for our bedroom. An unused return from Sam's club for $250 - an LED TV. It's nice but now I'll never be able to get him to turn it off!

He claims he bought it for me but let's face it - it's all him Wink

Oh, and Mason is still moving around great. We had an NST Tuesday and another tomorrow and next Tuesday. Then doc appt next Thursday just to check on things. I'll be 35 weeks by then and that's a pretty amazing thing.

nuff, gotta go and get a littel work done today.

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Another NST today. The office was running late and Mason was moving around like a crazy man the whole time in the waiting room. Then as soon as they hooked me up he went to sleep! They "buzzed" him and he did great after that.

So uncomfy today! Went to lunch with 2 other preggo ladies here at work, that was so nice. But my left foot is still swollen which I don't like.

But the boys beds come tomorrow!!! They will be soooo excited! I can't wait to be able to get their room together and Mason's room together. Finally things feel like they are rolling along.

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My uncomfy-ness continues. Guess that's the new norm for the next few weeks. It's ok though.

The boys beds came Saturday so we spent some time with them getting them set up and discussing the best places to put things. We still have a ways to go but at least we got started.

Helped my mom in the garage for a little while and then ate lunch with her. The kids liked it and I think my mom did too.

Had cookouts with neighbors both Saturday and Sunday nights. I was wiped and way over did it this weekend. I was very sore last night and really didn't sleep much. I'm a little disappointed in myself for letting myself get that over worked again. I told DH that from now on I'm taking an hour a day to lie down and put my feet up - no matter what.

Everyone thinks I'm a nut case for having this family and house and projects and work - I get the "I don't know how you do it" a lot from people. Sometimes I don't know how I do it.

DS had a rough weekend still recovering from 2 ear infections. Got a nose bleed and split lip Saturday and a nasty bite from DSS#2 Sunday (yes, DSS#2 paid for that bite - he knows better). I feel bad for DS but he'll get over it.

DD is getting excited and nervous for Mason. DS has so far been the only one to ask to feed Mason - he was so sweet. He was watching TV and the other kids were playing upstairs and I was folding laundry. I told him it was time to turn off the TV and he looked at me and said, "Mama, do you think I will be able to feed baby Mason? He has to eat and I think he would eat for me." Big smile on my face.

Mason's been moving around great and causing a lot of discomfort and some pain. Sometimes I'm not sure if they're small contrax or not - it's tough to tell. I want him to stay put until I say Smile

Another NST tomorrow morning so a nice morning for me ahead. Then try to make it through another week of work. I'm trying to put all my stuff off on other people so I don't leave anything undone before I'm gone for 12 weeks. Leaves me twiddling my thumbs sometimes but that's the way it goes.

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Another NST this morning - man these are great!!! I'll be bummed if old crazy doc doesn't continue with these for the next few weeks.

Time to get rockin and rollin on the rest of the stuff on our list. Gotta get those pump parts in order, boob supplies, pp supplies. I have some nursing tops and bras so that part is done. Crazy - just a little over 4 weeks left.

We didn't get anything done last night. Plus we have 2 extra nights with the kids one this month and one in May so we lose some prep time there too.

But tonight will be a productive night. Got some laundry done this morning and I just need to fold socks and undies and put everything away. After that I'll get to working on Mason's room cleaning up all the toys/junk we tossed in there. I would like to try to get the crib and stuff set up this weekend. Of course I still don't have any crib bedding but that's a different story!

I'm feeling pretty decent today b/c I took a benedryl last night which helped my allergies and my sleeping - what a big difference in how I feel today.

Back to the grind stone. Gotta try to make it through the work week this week - won't be easy since my mind is totally elsewhere.

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Ugh, not feeling the love today Sad

I have some stuff to get done at work and then a meeting down on campus until 12:30. I told DH we'd do lunch together after that. I think I may go home and rest for a bit after that though. I'll take a couple of hours of sick time and then work a little from home tonight.

My allergies are rough right now which doesn't help and my back is achier than it's been in a while.

But we did get the older boy's clothes all put away in their new homes last night and we'll start working on their toys tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully they'll be all set by the weekend.

That way DH can finish up our walk in closet construction and I can work on Mason's room! Yay!

So I am looking forward to that. Rock on - got a meeting to go to.

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So I have an appt today at 2. The only thing I don't want to happen is an internal - so we'll see. I guess if crazy doc wants to do one I'll probably have to comply - which I'm no good at the whole compy-ing thing. I mean who wants to do what their told to do anyway???

Mason is quiet this morning which is good because he's not doing handstands on my bladder but bad because it always makes me worry.

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Appt went fine. Looks like I don't have to do the GBS test at all and crazy doc even said I won't have to endure an internal exam for 2 more weeks. So one last u/s next Thursday but nothing tramatic - whew!

Just wanna keep ole Mason in there until May 21 - that's not so much to ask, now is it???

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We had a busy weekend. I've been feeling pretty awful with what has turned into a sinus infection. I think I'll be calling crazy-doc to see if I can get him to call in a z pack or something. Even my teeth hurt.

But... I got Mason's room cleaned out so it's ready for the crib. DH finished the walk in closet (except the door but that can be done any time). We moved all our clothes around and I got some baby stuff un-tubbed. We picked up the bassinet from my sis. Just need to wash the sheets on it.

So good progress!!

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Oh I forgot - got my hospital bag packed (need to do DH's), got a diaper bag packed, got a diaper caddy ready, got the pump parts and got the bottles washed (just in case - not that I expect to be using those for a while).

So I feel good about that. I'm especially feeling good about that because I've been having some serious cramping for the past hour or so. I'm sure it's just BH or general tiredness but it still worries me that things could go early.

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Felt like doodoo yesterday - sinus infection. Called crazy doc and he called me in a z-pack. So after my z-pack does and an Ambien last night I am starting to feel human again - well, almost.

The ex left A&A with me last night. I felt so bad for them since I was not up to snuff. They were wild as usual when they get back from the ex's house but we muddled through. We'll have all 4 tonight so hopefully it will be a good night.

Mason hasn't been as active today which always bothers me. And overall I've felt pretty good with several crampy like sessions throughout the day. STAY PUT MASON!!!

I am so not prepared to have this kid before May 21st. Given that I'm sure he'll come before then - karma or something I guess.

I still haven't gotten the crib together yet and I really want to. My mom is going to RI to be with a dying family member this - I hope her trip goes ok.

But - one of my favorite stalkees on pg.org is back in the Jan 2011 board so that makes me smile. I am so pulling for her. I have a good feeling for her for either this month or next but I don't want to say anything - she's been through so much already.

Onward - 24 more days, but whose counting???

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Feeling a bit better after the antibiotics have kicked in. My sinuses are still stuffy but not pounding in my head like Monday.

I had quite a few contractions/cramping yesterday - makes me worry. This little dude better do what his Mama says and stay put until the 21st!!!

DH and I argued about how much help we're going to need. We so have issues we need to work through. I'm such an a$$ for not getting a counselor yet. I need to get on that. Overall we have a lot of love - a LOT of love. We just have some competition and communication syle issues to work through. Plus DH is a hot head and Im analytical. Can be a combutable (albeit occasionally fun) mix.

Appt this pm with crazy doc and a u/s. No internal (thank goodness). I actually sort of hope he'll make me go on like modified bed rest and I can request to work from home like 2 days a week or something. A girl can dream, right???

Update later - stay put Mason or you'll have Mom to deal with!

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Appt went well but had to wait 2 1/2 hours - those (insert cuss word here).

Anyway, crazy doc was basically dismissive as usual "you'll be fine Miss, no drama, you can't screw this up, it will be easy" blah blah blah. Sometimes I really don't like that guy.

But, he's supposed to be so great and I'm down to my last 3 weeks with him so there you have it.

Got Mason's last u/s pics - his boy parts were, um, rediculously huge on the screen. It was almost embarrassing!

The kids are getting excited and asking lots of questions which I think is so neat. My DD wanted to know how big the circle in my belly will be from the cutting during surgery Smile I explained that it won't be a circle. Kids are so funny.

DS just wants to feed him. DSS keeps trying to avoid telling me how "fat" my belly is (his birth mother is pretty overweight so he's sensative to weight issues). I tell him it's ok because there's a baby in there which makes my belly big.

Mason's has dropped. His head was so low that the u/s tech had a hard tie measuring his head. He was "practice" breathing the whole time so she also had a tough time getting a belly measurement. But her best guess is 6.5 lbs right now - awesome! So I'm guessing - ok, here's the official Mommy guess - 8 lbs 2 oz at birth.

I'll probably be so off. DD was 7 lbs 12 oz and DS was 8 lbs 7 oz. So I'm going with something in the middle. But that's about the size I bake 'em!

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Wow did we have a miserable weekend. DH and I fought - constantly. This kind of stress can't be good for Mason.

DSS#1 was a wreck Saturday - talking back, not listening, being nasty. DSS#2 wasn't much better. I know part of it is that their birth mother keeps them up late the night before they come but it really sucks - bad. Part of it is they need to adjust to our house.

DD was great and DS was fine until the afternoon. He had total melt down's both afternoons. We took the kids to their favorite rest. and to build a bear to make a bear for Mason. DH was so pissy I didn't have a nice time at all. It sucked really. I was so disappointed. All I wanted was a nice weekend with the kids before Mason comes. We'll have one more chance next weekend - I hope DH doesn't screw it up again.

I got to spend the morning with DS Smile My Mom is away visiting family so I took the morning off. We had such a nice time together - I rarely get to spend alone time with my biological children. We laughed so much he commented, "Mommy, why are you laughing so much today - you don't usually really laugh that much". I almost cried - he's right, I don't laugh much. I need to find a way to change that. It really made me feel a bit depressed at what my children must go through when I am upset, poor little sweethearts.

I love my DSS's, but with our difficult situation, DH's volitile temper and a biological mother who tries her best to make the rest of us "evil" in her son's eyes it's really tough to smile sometimes. I admit, there is a part of me that regrets falling in love again. There is a part of me that regrets falling in love with someone who has children and a really nasty ex. It's just so hard I wish it could be easier.

DH knew he messed up. He spent all night last night trying to make up to me. That's our pattern. He acts like an a$$ and then has to back peddle. I have trouble letting go. Either way things that hurt are said and I cry. Then the kids cry then life just sucks for a while.

I know DH loves me. I know we need some help. I admit my procrastination at getting help. But I think my DS's comment to me today might give me the balls I need to make that counseling phone call tomorrow.

As for Mason, I must have had him all stressed out too. He barely moved yesterday. I almost went to the ER to get him checked out. But after I calmed down and ate something and poked him a fair bit he responded. Plus I had an NST scheduled for today - which went great - Mason looks really good. As they always say when I go "maybe too happy" haha.

Anyway, DH's buddy and wife are coming to visit this weekend. I am not looking forward to it but I had already committed - stupid me. But maybe we'll have fun. And if not I'll just say I'm tired and go to bed and read a book. Either way is ok with me.

Then a loooong week begins. But, a day at a time. Mason's still cooking and looking good. I am feeling counselor bound and determined to get DH and I the communication help we need because we do love each other - faults and all.

And it's a gorgeous day today and I have 3 more hours of sunlight to gaze at so gaze I shall with good intent in my heart.

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The NST went fine, as usual. We spent some time outside last night which felt really good. I've been so uncomfortable that just sitting in the sun was nice.

I had some pretty painful contrax last night while lying in bed I started to get worried that Mason was going to do his own thing - that little buggar! But they settled down. Mason however did not. He was like a jumping bean and he stretched his butt up so far along my left belly I thought he was trying to poke his way out that way!!! It really hurt. DH couldn't believe his eyes - I wish I had gotten a pic of that one -wow.

I feel terrible today. Just worn out and not in the mood for anything. I have a full day at work and I so don't want to be here. But, I gotta get through it.

I'm almost done and I'm trying so hard to keep positive right now. It's hard with all the emotional stress I face and the fact that I'm not sleeping well and physically feel a bit beat up. But I'm super excited to meet Mason. I think he's going to be beautiful.

It's so weird to think he's from me and DH - but a good weird. I'm getting weird now. I'll stop before I get out of control weird which I've been prone to these days. Yeah, I'm weird now? Just wait till those pp hormones start kicking in - man, I feel really bad for my DH in a few weeks - ah well, comes with the territory.

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Had my appt this morning. I was contracting a lot last night but apparently it didn't really do anything - which I'm fine with.

Mason looks good and I even had 2 contrax while on the NST machine. But as crazy doc said, "no promises, but enjoy your last 2 weeks of pregnancy". He thinks Mason will stay put.

So, no more worrying about that for now. But...DSS#2 is really sick. High fever, cough, congestion. I want to stay FAR away. There are several people here at work with the same thing. The last thing I need is to get sick during my last 2 weeks of pg!!!

So, I think my kids and I will stay away from home tonight until bed time. I hate doing that but, and I repeat, I don't want to get sick right now. I just don't know what to do for 4 hours!

We'll see. DH is trying so hard to be supportive and understanding. But his kids don't wash their hands and he has a hard time remembering too. We'll have to wipe everything down after the kids go to bed. Erg, why now?????

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It's funny - I read back through some of my posts - I'm so up and down! Funny little hormones, funny little life Smile

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Got a little sleep last night thanks to benedryl. DSS#2 is still pretty sick. DH is trying so hard to not get me sick he's offered to the ex to keep them tonight. They are supposed to be flying to FL tomorrow anyway. I feel bad for the kids as I'm sure DSS#1 will get this nasty thing too.

MIL took DSS#2 to the doc so hopefully they can help.

At any rate I'll be keeping my distance until they are out of the house tonight. I just don't want to be sick for the last 2 weeks of my last pg.

Mason is moving around today but only small amounts. He's either so powerful it hurts or so lame I worry. Silly little guy.

Had a thing at DD & DS's school this morning. Each grade did a little song. It was totally cute. I love this part of school!

So officially 2 weeks from today is the big day. I'm going to really try to enjoy these last 2 weeks. Chill, that's what I want to do. If I feel angry at DH I'm going to go do something else until I feel better.

So here's to a good weekend ahead (even though the weather is going to stink)!

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Had a bit of a rough night. Started with discovering the chest freezer had stopped working - with about $300 worth of food it in!!!!!! DH and I were soooooo upset. Don't know how we'll afford to replace it all. We had so much in it to prepare for Mason. Sometimes life just deals you some really big blows.

Then we got some other things done - after spending an insane amount of time cleaning out rotten food. Then I had really bad contrax. Ever time I would contract Mason would kick like he wanted to come out NOW - it hurt a lot. I just never went through anything like that with my other 2.

By 9:30 I was just so uncomfortable and in so much pain I decided to go to bed. After a bit the contrax stopped but I didn't sleep much last night. Mason needs to stay put until next Friday. Hopefully I can convince him of that.

So today isn't the greatest but it could be worse I guess. I'm just so upset about the food. Like why did I bother with all that prep and planning???? So now I need to waste some more time going to the store to at least replace some meat products - erg.

Anyway I'm a bit bummed today.

I'm going to try to make it through my work day but I admit, I so want to go home and work from my beddie-by.

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Ok, ok okokok. NST was fine and got to skip the cervical check - I mean who really needs those anyway?

I feel pretty good today as I got a little sleep last night and I'm working from home - nothing bad about that!

This'll be our last weekend with the other kids before our family grows by one. Hoping to have some fun and avoid fighting. If things get ugly I'll be taking off to keep the sanity.

Back to work. I'm hoping to have a pencil party for myself before next Friday - 2500 here I come!!!

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So into the last week Smile

I'm going to try to do a little documentation each day of this the last days of my last pregnancy - bittersweet.

Mason moves around great - from 9-11 pm!!! Then from 4 am on!!! I guess that's just how it's gonna be, silly boy.

I feel more and more uncomfortable. I'm muddling thru. I still hope he stays put until next Friday. I like my plan and don't want to abandon it.

I want to do a couple of fun things with the other kids this weekend. I refuse to fight with DH and if he exhibits unfair behavior I'll just go somewhere else for a while.

My Mom's b-day is tomorrow so we'll have her over for pizza or something. Maybe I can get the kids to make some cookies with me for her or something.

Well - 2 NTS's and 1 doc appt to go next week and we are done! I am getting a little terrified of the whoel surgery thing. But people do it all the time, I'll be just fine. Like crazy doc says, "no drama".

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Ok ok ok - so I didn't update over the weekend Sad

But we had a busy weekend. The kids for the most part were good. We had a belly-coloring session with markers and I'm hoping to get the pics from my mom today, it was fun. My mom hasn't been feeling very well so we only celebrated her birthday with her for a short while, which was ok with me.

We also took the kids to a pottery painting place where they each colored a bowl. They'll be ready for pick up this weekend - not sure how that's gonna work!

Mason's been moving around ok too.

Yesterday I took a bit of a spill though. I think I bruised a rib or something. My right side on my back right on top of my rib is in sooooo much pain I want to cry. I even feel a bit nauseous. Like I need this right now.

But, I'm working through it. I have been trying not to take anything but I just took some tylenol.

So I am really ready for Friday now. Really ready. We have a few more things to clean tonight and finish the laundry but other than that I'm so done with this.

DH is pretty grumpy right now and I'm not sure why. I'm hoping it's just nerves or something. I'm hoping we can cuddle a little tonight and that will help.

Ok, I'm going to try to get some work done and ignore the fact that my rib/back is ripping a hole through me...

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Ok, so the rib is feeling pretty awful but a little better than yesterday. I rested most of the afternoon. The bad thing is that none of my chore list got done. DH decided to be lazy with me last night (it's hard to motivate him when I'm not working along side him) and we watched a movie.

Sooo, I now have twice as many things to do before Friday, ugh. But I guess what doesn't get done doesn't get done. Maybe I'll make a little list for MIL to do over the weekend for me. As long as it's not a huge list she'll do it. That makes up for all the really crappy things she does in return.

Final NST and appt tomorrow then it's all mental prep for the big day!

Friday here we come!!!

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Ok, all looks good and things are a go for tomorrow! I can't believe I'll be pg for only a few more hours - this is crazy.

The funny thing is I've been having contrax all day today. More painful ones that I've had to this point. Wouldn't it just be ironic to go in to labor tonight???

Ban the thought - Let's just do this as planned!

Mason will be in my arms tomorrow. I've cried like 10 times today over that. It's such an amazing thing. (remind me of that when I've changed his five millionth poop blow-out)

Catch ya on the flip side! I guess I'll have to change my journal to something else...