Its amazing how fatalistic Ive felt about this pregnancy, isnt that awful! Ive been so paranoid and scared
So I've decided that whatever happens, Im going to do this, it might even help me keep on top of my own feeligns, which needless to say are a little up and down right now I was reading a magazine this morning (a work one) and it had an article about antisocial benhaviour. Now that is upsetting enough, but the author of the article started by saying his 14 year old cat had recently died after a long illness. Well I had a really hard time stopping myself from sobbing my heart out Im so emotional some of the time, then others im perfectly fine!
Its still very strange to think of a baby being 'in there' I think maybe when I start to get a bump it'll become a bit more real…
At the moment I feel a bit sick, I think this time it IS m/s, and not just nerves It seems a little better when I manage to eat something. My bb's are not quite so sore today which is quite a relief as they have been intensly painful the last few days. They are huge though!!! Ive had to start wearing the bras I wore before I lost weight! Also I read somewhere that I shouldn’t wear underwired bras… unfortunately I don’t have any non-underwired bras… except a sprts bra and that squashes them beyond recognition So the very idea of that is painful! They also look like a map… LOL, blue lines everywhere...
I've broken out in spots (pimples) on my face this morning… nice…
Apart from all that I feel great!!! We're going to have a baby!!! I have my first midwife appointment on Monday 20th December, hopefully then I'll get a better idea of my EDD. I still think its around 13th/15th August though. I told my mum last night and she was thrilled She said she guessed though since I rang her
Ugh, I feel so bloated. After every meal, no matter what I eat I feel like Im going to explode….
And to make matters worse, I ordered a cheese & ham toastie when I was out at lunchbreak with my friend Janie, and when I was practically finished I saw on the ingredients that it was bound with mayonaise eek. Im pretty sure I read somewhere that I shouldn’t eat mayonnaise because of the eggs or something like that….
I feel so sick this morning! I was sat in the staff room sorting out the post and this man walked in and he had TERRIBLE body odour, really strong smelling sweat *shudder* and my stomach just turned and I nearly threw up… bleargh. I started to feel a bit better a while after he left and then another woman came in and she absolutely reeked of stale cigarette smoke…. Thankfully I havent actually puked yet, but my sense of smell seems so sensitive, I feel like I can smell every little thing…. And that’s not a good thing!!
Nothing more so far, so thats a relief... I felt a bit crampy after 'going bathroom' but i think thats ok. My book says a little spotting is nothing to worry about, just to mention it to the midwife when i see her.
Im so tired though too, im wondering whether i should go do the homeless project tonight as it involves so much walking and carrying, i dotn really feel up to it but i dont want to let them down... I'll see how i feel later.
Well Ive gone from one extreme to the other. Today I hardly feel anything. My bb's are not hurting really at all, though they are still blue veiny, and I feel quite awake really in comparison to the last few days. Theres been no more spotting though since the other day which must be a good thing? I mean if I miscarried or the pg ended somehow, surely I would know about it?
Ah well, I have my midwife appointment on Monday so I'll be able to ask her if all of this is normal…
I did do the homeless thing in the end, i had a half hour sleep whn i got home from work and felt much better for it, and i felt ok in the evening while i was out...
I was ok all afternoon then just as i got home i had a cramp which lasted about 3 or 4 seconds and i went to the bathroom and checked and there was brown spots there again. I felt mildly crampy still and to be honest i was convinced that that was it, game over...
I was so upset and i had to babysit Louis my nephew that evening too, i looked terrible and kept crying.... really unlike me to be so emotional i dont think B&SIL noticed anything though hopefully.
Saturday morning was ok, no spotting, all seemed clear, then late yesterday evening had 'murky' CM with light pinky tinge. Still no red blood though.
This morning woke up ok, though was expecting to have bled in the night, but nothing. Morning clear. Then this afternoon (4pm) went to the bathroom and light browny/pinky CM again. No actual blood like Weds or Fri though.
IM pretty sure my BB's have gotten smaller, though they are still a bit tender, not as painful as the last week or so. It felt so sick this mornign i was sure i was going to throw up a couple of times.
So here I am.
Still got to go out this evening to the church carol service then on to see Jools Holland (Jazz & Blues band) so no chance of rest this evening.
Then the midwife at 12.10 tomorrow.
I honestly dont know. I hope she'll be able to tell me definately whether or not Im still pregnant
She didnt tell me whether or not im still pregnant, but she DID say that the browny CM, the spotting were are perfectly normal and furthermore, all 'normal' is hereforward a non-word and basically to stop worrying
She also said that my bb's going down is just a result of the initial hormonal surge calming down and also nothing to worry about.
So she gave me a whole lot of bumph to read through and a book and she also booked me into my first scan at 12 weeks. Thats the 31st Jan. I then have the 'main' appt on 7th Feb whcih is when i get the full exam.
She put my EDD at 13th August 04 so Im now 6 weeks 2 days.
Ive been so sick last last couple of mornings, maybe this is m/s kicking in?! I couldnt even eat Weetabix this morning!