I guess its about time that I start this journal...I am not sure why I have been putting it off since this pregnancy has been going so well but better late than never, right?? This has been a long/rough/exciting journey to motherhood and I am so happy to be going through it right now. I am currently 17 weeks and 6 days pregnant...due December 4th with a beautiful baby boy. Our first. My DH, Matt, is great and has been very supportive through everything.
A brief synopsis of the last almost 2 years is that I have had 3 miscarriages, 2 natrual and 1 D&C. They were all first trimester losses with the last one lasting about 8 weeks. I have had all kinds of testing done but the doctors cannot find what caused these miscarriages. Frustrating, I know. This pregnancy has been going great and my doctor has been watching me closely. I am really blessed with such a great doc. Anyway, the only slight complication I have had so far is that I have a low lying placenta that we are hoping will correct itself in the next few months. This isn't causing any problems right now except that we can't BD until we know that my placenta has moved up but it will cause problems for delivery. We will cross that bridge when we get there. For my entire TTC story here is the link to my journal: My journey to Baby #1 (BFP on 3/29/07)
Here are some pics of my growing belly and from our last ultrasound:
The anxiety of having this baby growing inside me is finally hitting me. Just lookng at everything we need and how there are 5 different selections of each thing...should we buy a travel system or a stroller/car seat that are separate...when should be buy the crib....do we really need to have ______(fill in the blank)! I know that my mothering instincts will kick in once the baby is here but how in the heck are we supposed to have everything we need by the time the baby is here? We have relatives and friends asking about our registry that I haven't started yet....luckily I have a friend (that has 2 kids) that is going to come with us when we resiter...it will be really nice to have her opinion. I know I would feel so lost without it. AHhh...the joys of being a first time mommy!
Wow..I can't believe that I am 18 weeks already. This pregnancy has gone by pretty quickly so far...I still have a ways to go but it doesn't feel quite as dawnting as it did in the beginning. Alyways waiting for that next appt or u/s to make sure the baby is ok. There is always a little bit of worry but its def. not like it was in the beginning. You know after my last loss, I thought I would be a nervous wreck during my next pregnancy...always stressed out with a high level of anxiety. But thats not what happened...don't get me wrong, I had my moments of stress but I actually felt at peace...I felt good that things were going to progress and we would meet our little baby at the end. I think a lot of it has to do with the guardian angels I have in heaven looking after me...I am not a religous person, I don't pray each day or thank god for every good thing. Not that I think thats wrong, its just not for me. However I do believe that there is something out there, that I will go to a good place when I die. This last year has reinforced that belief for me. I have lost 4 people + 3 babies and there is nothing like death to make you believe in life all over again. I can feel my guardian angels looking out for me...holding my hand and keeping me calm when I hsould have been freaking out. I have never felt alone at any point in this pregnancy. Thank you Marcia and Rogerio, Grandpa Jack and Uncle Ben...I love and miss you all so much.
Phew..that kind of got a little emotional, didn't it?? Onto happier things! yesterday was the 4th of July and Matt and I had a good day. We went to Babys-R-Us since they were having a pretty good sale and got some cute clothes for our little boy..all which only cost us $14. We then went and saw Transformers. It is an awesome movie and I highly recommend it if you like those huge action flicks.
I am feeling pretty good today...I am getting bigger every few days. Matt even said he noticed a difference since he say me on sunday..he is in the coast guard and has duty every few days. I still haven't really felt the baby move...maybe a few flutters and stuff but nothing substantial. I can't wait unitl he is kicking away in there!
This week has been pretty slow at work so i am sitting at my desk surfing the internet for baby stuff and posting on preg.org. Bad, I know. Oh well...it is friday afterall.
I started our registries on Target and Babys-R-Us yesterday..I haven't really registered for anything yet as I want Matt's opinon on stuff too. My friend Misty is going to come shopping with us too so she can help me figure out what we need. Misty has 2 kids of her own, Ian (just turned 2) and little megan is was born at the end of March. Actually I found out I was pregnant the day after Megan was born. Pretty cool. I am excited about registering for everything but as I posted before quite overwhelmed with everything. I need to get registered soon too because we are having a shower in San Diego at the beginning of September. i want to give everyone plenty of time to get what they need before the party. Matt and I are really excited about going out there..the last time we were there was in January for our friends funerals....not a very nice visit. It will be good to go out and celebrate something good this time. I can't wait.
Matt is on duty this weekend so its just me and the doggies. I am making a trip up to Raleigh tomorrow to visit my mom and take advantage of some good maternity stores they have there. She is also making me some maternity clothes so it will be nice to try things on. She hasn't seen me since Mothers day..she will be surprised at how my belly has changed. It should be a good visit.
My little man is growing like a weed...I really notice it in my belly pics this week. I feel like I popped out over night. I haven't really felt him move yet...maybe a few times but I am not really sure. Maybe he is at a weird angle and thats why I haven't felt him yet. I am sure it will be any day now though.
So I am starting a prenatal exercise class today..it is at a local gym and will be one day of pilates and strength training and one day of water aerobics. I am really excited to try it out. It will be really nice to get back into some sort of exercise routine and to meet some other pregnant women. Its not a cheap class but I think it will be worth it in the end.
Here is my updated Belly pic for this week:
Wow, I didn't realize it had been almost a week since I had updated my journal. Bad me!! I guess things have been moving right along so there hasn't been a lot to update.
I can't believe that I am going to be 20 weeks tomorrow, half way done! YAY for us! I am really starting to pop now..I actually feel quite pregnant now, if that makes any sense. I am also starting to feel my little man moving around..its such a weird feeling. If I hadn't been talking to other women about what it felt like I think I would consider it just gas and leave it at that. I think he was actually kicking me this morning..righ on the lower left side. I know it will get more frequent from here on out and I am looking forward to it.
We had a busy weekend last weekend. Matt and I went to Target and registered for quite a bit of stuff. I am going again tonight with my friend Misty so that she can help me with the stuff I wasn't sure about..you know, what kind of bottles are best for breats feed babies and anything else we forgot. I am really having a hard time choosing a crib though..I know that I want a white one and as soon as I find one I like, I start to rethink my decision. I am sure I will like a different crib next week. LOL
Matt and I also started to clean out the junk from the nursery. Right now it is being used as our cat room and a place for extra stuff. It was good that we did that though because it forced us to get rid of a lot of stuff. I finally let go of stuff I have been holding onto....it was a big weekend.
The prenatal classes I went to last week were fun. I was really sore from a lot of the leg work that she had us do on tuesday. Thursday was great because we got into the pool. I really need to find a new swimsuit though as the maternity one didn't hold my boobs in to well.
Speaking of boobs...anyone else having a heck of a time finding a bra that actually fits these hugemongus boobs??? I am getting really frustrated by the lack of large size bras out there that aren't totally ugly. All of the larger bras I have found are like 40+ DDD's and above..I need a 38DDD. Not an easy one to find...I even went to lane Bryant. I think I am going to have to shop online for one.
I AM HALFWAY DONE!!! YAY!! I am so excited that I have made it this far. What a relief.
So we finished our registry's monday night..its nice to have that pretty much done and not hanging over my head. I am having a hard time finding nursery furniture though...I can't seem to decide on what style I want. I am also worried about the height of the changing table...I am 5'9 and matt is 6'3 so we need a changing table that it kind of high. We can't be bending so far over each time we change a diaper that our back starts to ache. That will not be fun. I think we are going to have to buy the dresser/changing table style..those seem to be higher up.
Oh I almost forgot...my mom bought us the crib bedding set we have been wanting. I am so excited! Its called Pirates Cove by Cotton Tale and is absolutely adorable. I have no clue when it will arrive but hopefully its fairly soon. I went ahead and ordered some of the accessories too. Now all I need to do is figure out how we are going to paint the walls. I have a few ideas but will have to talk it out with Matt.
Here is a picture of the bedding we want:
I finally ordered some bras that I am hoping will work. I ordered them from Layne Bryant and will see how they fit when I get them. They are just a basic cotton bra so they should be good to go. Keep your fingers crossed!
Another week down....19 more to go. Overall I am feeling pretty good..I am feeling lots of twinges and small cramps in my belly, not to mention my little man moving around. I feel huge by the end of the day though after eating all day...speaking of eating. My appetite is huge right now! I feel like I am constantly eating during the day...I am trying to eat healthy snacks but it is not easy.
So one of my best friends had her baby over the weekend. Everyone is doing great and little Jakob is so freaking adorable. They live in southern CA so I won't be able to meet him until we go out for labor day weekend. I am so excited. The labor went pretty well I think..she was in active labor at the hospital for about 18 hours though she had been having contractions all week. Jakob came into the world upside down (facing up) so momma's tail bone is hurting her quite a bit. He also had some amniotic fluid in his stomach so he had a lot of gas at the beginning...once they suctioned it out, he was feeling much better. They are home from the hospital now and very happy. I am just so excited for them and this makes me want to be there sooo bad! Not to mention anxious to meet my little guy too.
I wonder a lot of time, how my labor will be. I am not really scared of the pain but just not knowing what is going to happen. I was breach when I was born so my mom had to have a C-section. I am really hoping that I am able to deliver naturally (most likely with an epideral) but a vaginal birth is what I want. I also want our baby to be healthy so whatever I need to do to help him come into the world that way, I will do.
I have my OB appt tomorrow and I am getting kind of nervous. Its nothing big just a regular checkup and a listen to the heartbeat with a doppler. I know that this nervousness is steming from my previous losses but it still seems kind of silly to me. I can feel the baby moving around most of the day and I still feel and def. look pregnant so I am sure everythign is just fine. There is just one thing...Matt most likely isn't coming to the appt tomorrow. I told him that it wasn't a big deal and that he would probably be bored anyway but I think deep down I really want him there. Him just being there gives me that extra support I need. The last time he didn't come to an appt with me was during my last pregnancy and my doc did a surprise ultrasound and we couldn't find the baby. Is it weird that I am feeling like this? I know its silly to think that just becuase matt isn't at this appt with me that everything is going to go wrong...my rational brain is def. telling me that BUT that doesn't keep my heart from remembering what happened last time. Know what I mean? We are just so in love with this little man and have made so many plans for him already that I can't imagine losing him now. Ok..no more negative thoughts...positive thoughts wherever you are..I need you! LOL
On a better note...I am getting my hair cut, colored and my eyebrows waxed today so that will help relax me a little bit. I am really looking forward to it..my hair is looking like crap right now and you don't even want to see my eyebrows!
I am back from my doctors appt and everything is good. I knew I was worried for nothing. We found the baby's heartbeat and it sounded very healthy. I like the doctor I saw, she was very nice and attentive to me. She is the first doctor that I have seen that noticed the Vitiligo that I have on my face (Vitiligo is a condition where you lose the pigment in your skin) and asked if I have had my thyroid tested. Which I told her, not since I have been pregnant. I did have my thyroid tested after my last loss and actually when I first found out about this condition a few years ago. So she took some blood to test for it just as a precaution. Better to be safe than sorry. I also had her look at some moles on my back that I have noticed white circles around (i thought is was from my Vitiligo), she wants me to see a dermatologist to have some of them checked out. I am not one to bake out in the sun, in fact I dont' even lay out in the sun at all anymore. So I am really not too worried about it but i will call and get a referral to see one soon.
All in all it was a good appt. My next appt is in 4 weeks and they will do my Gestational Diabetes test then. Hopefully that comes back ok. Oh and I did gain another 5 pounds or so...I think that makes 17-19 lb gain in total....a little more than I wuold like right now but I am trying to eat healthy and doing some form of exercise each day. Oh well...I will just keep trying to eat healthy though that is not always easy. especially when you are craving the sweets!
I finally got my new bras from Layne Bryant in the mail yesterday...I think they will work for a little while. At least I don't feel like I am falling out of my bra. I had to order a 38DDD too! Phew..no wonder I have gained so much weight...it is all in these huge melons!!! LOL