I know I am pregnant, I don't want to do a test, don't want to tell anyone I am...I had a miscarriage in May, I was really depressed from it. I gained so much weight from eating during my depression. The last time I was pregnant, I had a job with insurance, now I am on my own doing consulting jobs. I don't have any insurance. The VA says they will only take care of me not my baby...need to ask for more information. I really don't want to get excited because the last time I was so excited that I think I lost my baby. I blame the doctor for it too. I refuse to let any doctor do a Pap smear on me this time around. I just want to get into the 12th week already so I know my baby is going to be safe. I am looking for cheap insurance. I hope to get a full time position with benefits soon. I am praying this will go well this time. I really want to be a mother.

My heart tells me this one will be safe and I will carry my baby for 9months.

I am also planning my wedding. My wedding is set to be in October. I figured that my baby will come in July and will still be fine for my wedding in october. I so excited, but just don't want to be too excited till my 12th week.