My life as a surrogate...

View Poll Results: What do you think about being a surrogate for a couple over 50?

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  • I think they're too old, and you should try to find a younger couple.

    13 52.00%
  • I think it's great if they can handle a new baby!

    12 48.00%
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Thread: My life as a surrogate...

  1. #1
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    Default My life as a surrogate...

    We got a call two weeks ago saying we were MATCHED! A family had picked ME to have their baby! I was absolutely shocked... we'd only applied with the agency a month or so ago, and to be picked this soon is incredible! I'm still waiting for the chance to meet the family, and hopefully everything will go great and we can get started. What I know about them so far: they are from Africa, but live in the US (in Ca, near me) for a while now. However, when the babies (they want twins!!) are about 5 years old, they want to return to Africa. The Intended Mother (IM) is an attorney who works out of her home, and the Intended Father (IF) is an enginner with a PHd who works outside the home. They have three children already, including a 16 year old autistic son. The woman is in her early fifties, which is something that my husband and I have talked about maybe being a problem for us... we're just worried about when the child(ren) get older, how long will their parents be around, you know? We'll think about this more after we meet them. We're hoping to meet them within a week... I'm so excited! I already have my first appointment set in Pasadena, CA for my ultrasound and blood work so we can start meds and the transfer process. They are using an egg donor, so I'm not exactly sure about how the transfer will work, exactly. I'm sure we'll talk more about that, though, after we're sure this is the couple we want to be with. I just can't wait to meet them, I'm so excited to work with someone of a completely different nationality and culture, it will be a real eye-opening experience!



  2. #2
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    Default It's is really hard to deal with peoples' reactions...

    We haven't even met the couple, so it's not 100% certain yet, but already my parents have negative feelings about it. The worst part is... my dad didn't even bring it up to ME, he just talked to DH about it. I hate that he won't talk to me about how he feels about it. If I say anything about this surrogacy to my mom OR dad, they just don't even respond. Is it going to be this way throughout the whole process? I just don't know how someone can possibly NOT support giving another person a child. If I was unable to have children, I think that I would do anything in my power to achieve it. Having known several people with infertility problems, unable to conceive, it just deepens my desire to see this through. Of course I know it's my life, but it is really hard to know your family isn't behind you. My wonderful husband is very supportive though, I have a feeling I'm going to lean on him a LOT over the next year..

  3. #3
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    Well, I received my paperwork for my psychological evaluation, apparently it will all be done over the phone. I'm a little worried about it, only because of my history of depression. I mean, I know that there are meds I can take that are safe during pregnancy, but I'm still a little nervous. We'll see how it goes...!

  4. #4
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    We just had our background check...
    My hubby and I were on the phone for about an hour with a private investigator. It was pretty painless, we were both totally honest with him, and that's the most important thing. Saturday at 10a.m. we're doing our Pyschological Exam over the phone (the Doc is in Florida)... keep your fingers crossed! I'm hoping my history of depression doesn't get in the way at all.

  5. #5
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    Well, we have a date set to meet the IP's!! I'm so excited! We are driving to Modesto Tuesday night to meet them at 7:15p.m. (it's about a 2 1/2 hour drive for us). We're meeting at the surrogacy agency, which I think is good, because I'm sure my husband and I will have a TON of questions. The age of the parents has really been laying on my heart lately. Being Christian, I think that if they want this child, and they are good parents, why shouldn't I help them? But on the other hand, I think, what if something were to happen to them when the baby (or babies) are only a few years old? I don't know.... we'll have to make that decision after we meet them. Our psychological exam is Saturday morning - wish us luck!

  6. #6
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    We're finally going to meet them!!! We're meeting the IP's on Tuesday night at 7:15... I'm nervous and scared. What if we don't feel comfortable with them? I would HATE to disappoint them, but also, I would HATE to have to wait and wait to find another couple. It's a tough decision... please keep up in your thoughts!

    TMI ahead...WARNING!
    DH and I did the deed the other night... and I'm scared the condom came off!! PLEASE pray for no-preggo vibes!!!

  7. #7
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    Well... it's been a while since I've checked in, mostly because I was really upset, and somewhat hurt about what happened. The day before we were supposed to meet our family, they called the clinic and backed out. There was an issue with some of the fees they didn't understand (outside of the surrogacy fees), and so they have decided not to pursue surrogacy. At first, I was REALLY hurt. But, that evening, God brought a lot of things to my attention - I saw a music video that was about women who couldn't have children, and I also read "Kaleb's Mommy" diary on myspace, and after reading those two things that night, I sobbed for a while... and I realized that my disappointment was stemming from selfishness. God will find the perfect couple of family for us to be involved with, I just need to be patient. He tought me an awesome lesson that night, and even further pushed me into doing this thing that I have dreamed about. So, please keep us in your prayers that we are selected by another couple, one that is right for us. I know that God has reasons for taking them out of our life, and for that, I am so thankful. I'll continue to update whenever I have more news (good or bad).

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