So here I am....This is my story. I'm a 29 yr old who is happily married to a man who has been through it all with me. He has been really wanting children for about three years now. It was my birthday that kinda slapped me into a age reality check. So we started trying at the end of July 06. I noticed that I felt weird at the beginning of this month. On Oct. 10th I noticed my lower belly was like a freaking rock. I thought I may have been really bloated from the prenatal vitamins I had started taking on the 3rd. On that Friday, I started feeling my uterus. That is the only way I can describe it. It was like when I have my period and my uterus feels like it's made of concrete, but no cramps. Then I started getting ridiculous heartburn every night for a week. Then I started getting it in the morning too. I knew something was seriously going on....either I was pregnant or I had that disease that makes all your organs turn hard. So, last Thursday around 6:30 I made up my mind to take a prego test. My husband was walking the dog. As I loomed around my bathroom sink, it turned positive almost as soon as it absorb. I kept shaking my heads, squinting my eyes, was that right? When in the heck was I supposed to get my period? I went back downstairs to look at the calendar. I still had a week till my expected "aunt flo" came to town. Hmmm....this past weekend my husband brought home two more prego tests. He took one, as a control, and I took the other. Of course his was negative, and mine was still positive. I'm so miffed at this point. I've done alot of reading since that Thursday, and most of the time, it says that your body does not have enough HCG to make a positive result until you miss your period and you should do it first thing in the morning. Here I was at 6:30 at night and a least a full week until my period. WHAT THE HECK!!! Then I started thinking about it some more. My periods off contraceptive take at least five to six full days, then two light ones. My last period was on Sept. 28th and was over by the 2nd. Short. So, now I don't know how pregnant I am and it's driving me bonkers! I have my doctors' appointment with my regular doc this thursday. Although I don't want to be an el psycho, I have to know and calculations are just not going to satisfy me.
Besides that horomonal maniac that lives in my head, I feel good. I'm gassy all the time, and I still feel my uterus. Sometimes, more than not, I feel like my inerds are jammed up into my rib cage. I can't stand sweet things, they repulse me and I want broccoli in the worst way. We have eaten it for the last four days as our dinner veggie. My husband just smiles and eates it. I've fortunately only felt nauseaous twice. Once when my supervisor at work ripped this poor guy a new butt hole, and later that evening. I learned that if I shove one or two crackers down, then it settles my belly right away. I've been very lucky and hope that my good luck continues. knock on fake wood. I feel good in the morning. I have energy and I can move better. I feel all tight in the belly region by the evening and that brings me back to the, "why am I feeling this so vividly this early?" If I go by the first day of last period, I'm only 4 wks along. I don't see what I am feeling at ALL in the what's going on with your body part. I"M SO CONFUSED.
Anyways, I gotta get going. I will write what happens at the dr's on Friday!
So, we went to my Primary Doctor on Friday...still very much pregnancy, but now medically offical. My dr ordered an ultrasound for yesterday (Halloween). I had both internal and external. I have a very loud inside and what is to see of my babeh, is a black hole with a little piece of rice at the bottom. That was it. Too small to see the heartbeat. Since the babeh is so small, they still have me at 5 weeks, which is off of my first day of last period. I feel so confused about so much stuff. I feel so many different pulls and tugs in my uterus. At least I have a concrete brick in my guts is gone and now it's just hard on the outside. My appetite has been great, except today around noonish, I got that peppery taste along with some awesome drool. Not too bad, but I noticed the quesy. A few wheat honey pretzels later, I was good to go. I'm scared because I feel all this stuff going on in my body and I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling is right. There is no bledding, or spotting or anything, just not sure what to prepare for.
Then there's that morning sickness thing. I'm barf-a-phobe. It's true. I'm sure that you're thinking, honey, if you are afraid of barf, that is what kids do, but I think it will be different when it comes to them. I have a beautiful baby dog girl, who it doesn't make me faint or go into panic attacks when she gets sick and I clean it up, which is huge. But i know what I put in, so what comes out isn't scary or too gross. Here's my fear about the whole deal. I have the stomach o' steel. My mother had minimal queziness with both me and my sister. My best friend (not that she has anything to do with my genetics) is at 18 weeks and she never had morning sickness. She just felt tired but fine. I was reading some other baby journals and it seemed like they were either sick from the get go or at week six. I"M SCARED! That's next week for me. I'm just being a total freak and I apologize if I sould like a weirdo, but it totally freaks me out and I had been feeling so good (constipated and gassy) but for the most part great! Now that could be all over in a week. I guess I will just have to ride it out and see. Please cross your fingers for me that I will stay fine and all will be swell!
Okay...so I had my first OBGYN visit on Monday, Nov. 6th. As it turns out, I totally forgot, but during my undergrad I had to get my yearly and since I was 7 hrs away from home, I had made an appointment at the local OB office. That was in 1997. Well, 8.5 yrs later, I'm back! It was great because they still had all my history (well, minus the last 8.5 yrs) so my NP/CM had my cycles down pat. She did need to update my files. Fortuntely the last few years has only held two incidents for me, both of which were ovarian cysts. The one about five years ago just went away, but the one I had in Aug, ruptured. If you have ever experienced an ovarian cyst rupture, you understand the pain of immeasurable magnitude. Not a bridge I would like to ever cross again! But, back at the ranch, she told me that my menstration cycles were shorter than average so she adjusted my due date to June 21st, which makes me 7 weeks! Yippee! Week six came and went and I didn't even know! I happy to report that the "sickness" has not affected me and I'm SO relieved. And I've also noticed that my eating habits of little bits lots through the day are slowing down and now I can eat at less of a frequency and more at each session. Please don't get me wrong, my appetite is still a nagging thing which is not like me. Before I got pregnant, I would eat one meal and one snack a day. That was it. Now, I eat a little breakfest, a snack, a little lunch, a snack, a little dinner, coffee (which I love and hated cutting down but I have been very successful in that) So, to have that hunger tugging at my brain every two hours is getting old. I have been watching my weight. When I first discovered my little zygote was there, I weighed in at three pounds additional. When I weighed myself last weekend, I was down four pounds, which is A-Okay, because I want to stay in the 30-35 lbs range. I am surprised because of the frequency in which I've been eating, I was getting a wee bit weary, but all seems good to go. I'm so thankful that all is swell.
I go back to the OB on Nov 20th for a pelvic, PAP, and ultrasound. I hope I see more than a black hole with a piece of rice. Maybe this time there will be something viewable!
I feel so monumentous today! 2nd day into week 10. Two more weeks and I'm in Trimester 2....HOORAH! Not that the first trimester has been bad, because compared to some many other women, I've had it super easy. No Morning Sickness, moderate fatigue, no headaches. But, to be quite honest, it's still not a fun time. All you feel day in, day out is pulling stretching, gas bubbles pulling your intestines, and holy moodiness. My boss gave me a pin that says, "Don't make me go psycho-***** on your annoying ***!" and somehow, it is so appropriate! My Jeckle/Hyde abilities really shined on on thanksgiving. I have been steady hungry and I've been able to almost eat my normal portion size, and thanksgiving I was ready to eat! I was so proud of myself, I actually cleared a small plate! But the aftermath of being so stinking full, not to mention every time I eat my belly gets really hard and pokes out, I was not comfortable. I went to stretch and my husband started reaching out his arms to touch me and like in a millisecond I blocked him. It was so not intentional, but I just needed to breathe and not be touched for I may just explode. My wonderfully understanding husband has now nicked named me My Karen, Kung Fu Fighter. I have flying arms of fire!
Another big event....on last Monday, 11/20, we had the big appt at the OBGYN. It took three hours. I should have brought a snack. Everything went extremely well. I went through all my blood test results with my NPMW, and I'm "text book perfect". Plus we talked about alot of stuff I was freaking out about, like eating and gaining weight, smoking, allergies, etc. She was so awesome and made me feel a thousand times better. She even prescribed me medicine to stop smoking. Thank god. I'm not proud of this foul habit I have, but it is what it is. Before I got pregnant I smoked a pack a day. Then once I found out, I was able to cut down to any where from six smokes on a good day, ten smokes on a bad. But I just can't get it any lower, so the help is so appreciated. I don't feel so helpless and hopeless anymore. Of course, you are told that not to put any sort of medication in your body except for the few exceptions while pregnant due to side effects on the baby. So I was un-sure about if it was safe or not to take med's for the smoking thing, but she told me that in moderation, certain safe drugs are okay during pregnancy. Always check with your doctor first, but most things are okay. BUT--smoking will do more harm than the medicine, so it's whichever of lesser evils, I suppose. None-the-less, I am okay with it and feel very safe.
So the ultra sound part, GUESS WHAT!?! We saw the baby's heartbeat! It was so right there! The sonographer did a heartbeat check and we are beating at 168 bpm! Can you believe it! Shawn and I got all teary eyed. IT was AWESOME! I can't wait to hear it. We will have to wait till next visit.
So that's it for the entry. Hope all is well with everyone for this upcoming holiday season!
SO very much to talk about.....first off, l'm now six weeks away from my due date. Holy moly, that went by super fast! Okay, let me back track a wee bit. The holidays were a success. I've decided that the 2nd trimester, hands down is the very best. My energy returned, I started showing, and my, well um, mojo was in full force. Which my husband was very excited about. We flew to Florida for a little vacation before I got really going with the belly enlargement. I was wonderful and relaxing. When we came home, it was 20 weeks and time for the ultrasound that tells you all sorts of amazing things. For me, I wanted to know what we were growing. Well, I will not leave you in suspense, we are having a boy. I was shocked. I really honestly thought we were going to have a girl. I grew up in an estrogen dominant house. I had NO brothers. All I kept thinking, is oh crap....I better figure this boy stuff quick! Needless to say all body parts present and perfect. We saw him open and closing his little tiny hands and bouncing all around. I went through a Dunkin Donuts white hot chocolate phase there for awhile. He loved them! Since that time, I've just been rapidly expanding. My inny belly button is no more. Now it's just flat across and looks very distressed. I've grown out of my original maternity pants and have graduated to even larger ones. It's starting to get to the point, either I'm pulling my shirt down or pulling my pants back up. I'm finding everytime I sit down my pants roll down to my crotch, so every time I stand up, I pull up the pants. While shopping it's a chore. I'm starting to think the sheets in the closet with some string ought to do it now. I can not tie my shoes anymore and have opt'd for slip ons. With the weather warming up, I have discovered that when I can see my ankles, they swell and I officially have kankles. It is not pretty. I used to have such skinny boney feet. I may still catch a glimpse of them early in the morning when it's still chilly. SO weird. We started going to birthing class. We have decided to try HypnoBirthing. It's wonderful so far. It's basically self hypnosis with a combo of prego yoga to get through labor without the use of pain medication. Honestly, if I have back labor and feel like I'm going to break in half, I have no objections in getting an epidural. But, I would like to try and see if I can do this. The way I look at it is what about the women in far away countries that don't have access to a hospital, or anything like that. They just go away and have the baby naturally and then come back. Look at animals, dogs and cats have multiple births and they just do it. I have yet to see a dog or cat yowl, "you bastard, this hurts!". They are silent and just work through it. So, I'm learning how to deal with pain through relaxation and various yoga-like position that help take the pressure off whatever area you feel bad in. I like it. I think I'll do very well with these techniques. I'll do my final entry after and let you know if I was successful!
Six more weeks till I see my beautiful boy. I can't wait to see his little face. I'm getting so anxious. Scared, excited, and happy as heck to see all this construction that's been going on for the last 34 weeks. It sure is amazing.
I promise, this time, I will be diligent on continuing my story. I want to keep this forever and this is best way I see fit!