MY very first peapod!!

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sydnee11's picture
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MY very first peapod!!

Well this is my first entry...better late than never. I wanted to start a journal like 2 mths ago and didn't. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and the nausea has subsided.

I now have back pain and aching muscles in front, I guess the uterus is stretching. You can't really tell I am pregnant but I can, because I am used to looking at my body. My husband can tell a little too.

I'm so anxious, I really really want to know the sex, so I can start shopping for clothes and baby things. I never wanted children years ago but we planned this pregnancy and I am so elated.

Due to my Crohns disease, I didn't know how hard it would be for me to get pregnant, and as we found out, it wasn't that hard. I can't wait till I can feel the baby kick or move or something. I almost broke down when I saw the first ultrasound with the flickering heart. It's crazy to have another being growing in you. It's one of God's awesome wonders. Well until next time, God bless my little one and may he/she be healthy and safe!!

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Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

Well its been a couple days since my last post and I am now 13 weeks pregnant today. I am so anxious to find out the sex. I still am not showing or don't think I am. I even think I've lost some weight.
My breast hurt still though, pretty dang bad. Nausea has subsided and now I have occasional bad headaches. My face has also began breaking out! UGH!! I just got over having a year and 1/2 of acne but I can't take anything for it while pregnant.

I'm getting so excited to do the 3d/4d ultrasound. I think it is so awesome how the pictures look and the video. Ron and I have been looking at the pricing and such.

We also are considering moving by the end of July so I will have to find a new OB/GYN. I'm not really nervous about that just more excited.

Also the baby's next appt is Tuesday the 27th. I can't wait to hear my little bean's heartbeat again! I get so worried sometimes that he/she is okay!

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Well its Sunday and I am 13w2d pregnant. People mentioned today that I was starting to show a little.

Ron wishes I was having twins, I keep telling him I would have been showing earlier, plus on our last visit to the OB, there was only 1 heartbeat. I just know he is hoping for a girl but the fact that it is our first child together, I think he really doesnt care. I know I truly don't. I just want a healthy baby.

I feel guilty alot, especially today. I have yet to quit smoking. I know its terrible and I know its unfair to an innocent child so why does my physical craving outweigh the bigger reasons. I pray and will continue to pray for strength not to smoke.

I go Tues for my next appt. I am really wondering how much weight I have gained since I have been eating whatever I want. I have always watched my weight and this is the first time in my life I have enjoyed food.

My crohn's disease seems to have went into remission. I would like to think so anyway. Some mornings I still have pain from it, but it is gone quickly.

Ron is anxious to move, Iknow I am. I really want to have my baby in one of the states where my parents live. It doesnt matter which one, just so long as I have loving caring supportive people around me.

Its so awesome being pregnant. Some days you feel on top of the world and others you feel like crap. But all in all, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I feel so blessed. I have a miracle inside of me that God created for this specific season and reason. Thank you Jesus!

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Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

Its 8:50 on a Monday night, the night before my next appt. I get so nervous, because its still early in my pregnancy I want to make sure everything is okay and all. I worry so much about the baby. I can't wait till I can feel he/she move!! It will really be a relief on my part to know the baby is still there kicking or squirming about.

I picked up a bunch of pregnancy books today from the library. I love to read so I already started one of them. I just want to make sure I am a good mom. Friends came by today to see how big my belly has gotten, they said they can tell. I can't really, well maybe just a little. BTW, I am 13w still.

Well gotta go read some more. I will praying hard tonight for my peapod. My dad says he has been praying, so I just know God will take care of me and the baby! Thank you Jesus.

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Joined: 06/21/06
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Well I went to the doctor on Tues and she says I am 13w4days when I thought I was 13wks3days..oh well I think Im right according to a Dec30th duedate. Anyways today I am 13wks4days! Almost into my 2nd trimester. My miscarriage rate has went down according to my OB.

I have been trying to quit smoking. I only had 6 cigs today and tomorrow I plan on not smoking any. I heard a healthy strong heartbeat between 160 and 167 and I would blame myself if my child was not healthy or had anything wrong with him/her. I was so relieved to hear the baby's heartbeat. It gets so scary to not be able to feel the baby or see that I am getting bigger and know that everything is okay.

I started out at 132 lbs. I gained 1 lb. on my last appt and the one yesterday I have gained 2lbs. Now I am freaking out because I feel like 3 lbs with no belly to really see is too much weight. I know I haven't been eating right. I eat sweets alot more now, I crave chocolate like crazy though! I will try to eat better in this trimester so I gain the right amount of weight and don't get too fat. I have always been thin but not like a stick. I get scared that I will gain baby weight and not be able to get it off like so many women.

Having a baby is so exciting but brings with it sooo many anxieties. I bought 2 baby books yesterday or should I say Ron bought them for me. He would do anything I ask. He is such a sweetheart and I am so very lucky. He will be a great dad, he already is to his own children.

Well have to go for now until next time. Thank you Lord for a healthy baby and I pray for strength to quit smoking completely (for good) and think of my unborn child.

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Today is not a good day. I am very sad. Ron and I have fought almost everyday it seems like, since I got pregnant. I feel like I have no one. Even my stepdad who I was close to takes his side now. Ron calls to talk to him and now they have bonded and I have noone to talk to. I call Whit and she just wants me to come home which I would if I didnt care about being married or pregnant.

I feel like I have cried for 3 days straight and no one gives a damn. I'm so lonely in this city. I have no friends or family. I don't even want to be pregnant today. I just want to curl up by myself and be left alone. I feel like I'm supposed to be understanding to everyone else and be polite and kiss *ss but when it comes to me nobody understands. They only think I'm this rude, pregnant witch. I'm so fed up living here and dealing with this day and night. Knowing I could leave if I really wanted to, just up and just leave and quit crying everyday. I wonder if the baby feels the overwhelming sadness I do. If so, I feel terrible for that. I need a break from this sadness,from this depression.

I wish today was over. Here's till tomorrow....

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Today I am 14w5days. I haven't wrote for like a week almost, been arguing with Ron and just trying to get prepared to move hopefully sometime soon. I am feeling better. Have cut down to 3 cigs or less a day and I feel so much better than I used to. Its getting easier and easier and I am not such a psycho path. Ron is being nicer and more understanding, thank God. I do have exciting news. I find out the sex of my peapod on July 16, hopefully the little one will cooperate. I have been reading lots of books lately to help prepare me for birth and taking care of my own little newborn. I get scared because I realize that my life will soon be over temporarily as it will revolve around a baby 24/7. I wonder will things ever be the same and will I want them to.

I'm also debating breast-feeding. I have read how good it is for the baby and all the pros, I also know all the cons. I wish I could get a feel for what I want to do. I have always wanted to bottle-feed only and now I don't know.

Today I feel kinda yucky. My stomach is bothering me and I have a headache. I have been sleeping alot. I still haven't got that burst of energy they talk about but that is probably due to the Crohn's disease. Hopefully it will come soon, there is alot to get ready for.

Gotta go! Will write again soon!

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Posts: 37

I am 15w6d pregnant!!! Almost 16 wks!!!! Anyways been busy trying to prepare to move by either August or September. I can't wait just one more day until I find out the sex (if peapod cooperates)!!!

So my belly is starting to pop out more and a lady asked if I was pregnant the other day, I was so proudly saying yes!! I just cant wait to feel the baby kick and squirm. Sometimes late at night before I go to bed I will feel flutters. He/she must be active at night...I guess that means I won't get much sleep later on or either quit drinking caffeine.

I just want it to be Sunday so I can see the baby on the monitor and make sure everything is okay. A couple of weeks of not hearing the baby and I freak out. I have both names picked out for a girl and a boy. I really am thinking pink but I know God doesnt make mistakes and he will definitely choose the sex or should I say has chosen the sex that he knows is best for our family and for the future. (just hoping/praying) lol I would hate for my child to grow up one day and read this and say, you wanted a girl not a boy, thats not the case. I just think that us as mothers get a general preference for what we think we want.

Well gotta go for now, still working, I love you peapod!!

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Okay exciting exciting..been too busy to post but here it is....ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!! Im sooooo happy I could scream. I am now 16w5d and I cant explain how cool it was on Sunday to see my little wee one. She was soo active the tech was laughing. She said, you should be so proud and relieved because she is an active little thing moving all around...yawning, sucking thumb, playing peek a boo, stretching her long long legs. Oh I hope this means shes tall...its so neat to think she is inside of me moving so much and I dont feel her all the time. Its truly amazing.

Well its late like 1230 and Im exhausted from days of endless work...been in the car for 48 hours traveling to Virginia then to NYC then back...this baby has been everywhere and doesnt even know it yet...lol

well I love you my little wee one. I think we might be going with Mariah Siena ..I really like that name! so does Ron!

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18w6days....Okay its been awhile since I posted, been so busy getting ready to move out of state. I had my anatomy scan 2 days ago and everything went wonderful. Myriah Siana, as we have decided to call her, is weighing 10oz. already! I might have a big baby who knows.

Also they think I might be due on Dec.27th, 3 days earlier than planned. I might have a Christmas baby, we never know. Im so excited lately. Myriah has been kicking at least everyday and I love feeling her move. Its amazing to think this being is inside of you and only you know she is moving. I want to shout everytime she kicks and tell everyone. Its truly God's miracle.

Ive gotten some new baby stuff. More sleepers, some gifts from Loretta and others. I also bought a bassinet and we found a new place down in GA to move to. Its really nice. I just cant wait to get down there for good and never have to see this place again.

I do have to get rid of the dog and cat but maybe its for the better with a new baby coming and all.

Im almost half way there, I cannot believe how time has flown. I think I will blink and she will be here. This has to be the most exciting thing to ever happen to me. I am not a patient person and well I HAVE to wait with her. Its crazy. But I know that the waiting will be worth it when a healthy baby comes out.

I love you Myriah, will write again soon.

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I can't believe it! I had to post a quick post this morning. I am 19wks even and last night Ron felt Myriah kick. I was pushing on my bellybutton and she kicked me so since I could feel it through my skin, I made him hold his hand there and he felt her! AWESOME! This experience is truly magical and unexplainable all in one. I never wanted children but now I know what I was missing. This is one thing I never want to take for granted. Thank you jesus for such a miracle.

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Well its been almost a month since I wrote. I am now 22wks6days pregnant with my little girl. Ive been dealing with this move and finally made it!! I love my new house just wish I had a 4 bedroom instead of 3 so that the kids dont end up sharing. My DH has his kids in separate rooms for now but if the custody battle ends up his way, we will have both and I will need his 2 little ones to share a room so that the infant can have her own room. I really would like to have her own room now so I can decorate a nursery but we needed to move and found this beautiful house for a reasonable price so we took it. I guess we will figure it out in time!! I sure hope so.

I have been feeling my little Myriah kick constantly for now 3 weeks. She kicks so hard you can see my belly move and sometimes it amazes me how much strength she has in there. Im so blessed.

My insurance got cancelled because we didnt pay the premium(selfemployed). Soooo, I signed up for Medicade and they already approved me just waiting on my cards. That was a true blessing because my Crohns is acting up terribly. I bleed everyday and today I went through an entire roll of toilet paper IN ONE DAY!! Imagine how sore my butt is..lol gross I know but I promised to keep it real in this journal. Im starting to feel fat too, belly is poking out. Not sure if thats from her or the fact I get swollen with the crohns and all. At least I now have coverage or will have coverage to make sure all is well with her. I freak out if she doesnt move for a few hours because I know how sick I really am even though I try to pass it off as nothing.

Today is Sept 1st, and now I am going to be starting my 6th month . So hard to believe how fast time is flying. I get curious to know how I will be dealing when its time to Christmas shop and Im huge as a house! I want to start working out again. Want to is the key word.

Well I better go! Im so anxious to see what my life will be like with her because she is all I think about, but at the same time Im so scared. I will just try to cherish these moments of her inside of me moving around since it happens so fast and only once in a lifetime. I love you Myriah!

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Posts: 37

Whew..what a week or weekend or last 2 weeks...whatever it was rough. Aunt Mary had openheart surgery and me and Mom traveled up to KY to make sure she came through it okay. I am now 24wks2days pregnant with my tiny bean who is now not quite so tiny since her kicks have become somewhat hard and forceful! Lol

Now Mary is doing well and back at home. I am now in GA doing well except for the nasty Crohns which keeps wanting to come back and haunt me. I saw the doctor for the first time in GA today and they now are moving me to a highrisk doc which I have probably needed for awhile considering Ive been bleeding for a month now. My butt hurts so much!! lol but not really lol. I just hope they get it under control before something happens. She is healthy but I am not so if Im not healthy you have to wonder how long SHE will stay healthy. Man that was a mindtwister. I must be slaphappy from being so tired. I am now on finigren or however you spell it for the nausea so I wont throw up anymore. Last night it was so bad that if I stood up I threw up or had to have a bowl movement. terrible terrible... I felt like I was dying the pain was so bad.

Need less to say she is good and her heartbeat was great!! She actually just kicked me really hard..lol probably because Im eating cocoa pebbles and everytime I eat chocolate she kicks the you know what outta me.

Well till next week...I love you Myriah!! (got some new baby clothes tooooo cute) and registered also.

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Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

I am now 24wks5days pregnant! OH MY LORD....I want this baby now....lol

No I can wait, I guess since its best for her but man I really want to see her, is that so bad? I want to hold her. I want to know what its like to have your very own child in your arms. (and then years will go by and I will want these moments back, Im sure) I want so many things right now. I feel like I cant do anything I really want.

I want to decorate a nursery and sit it in and talk to my belly. Is that so wrong? But I will have to wait because of my husbands kids. Sometimes I feel cheated because I know if they were not here I could do all those things but then I feel terrible for even thinking something like that.

I just want what other mothers get (I think) I want the excitement and the decorating and the nesting and well I guess I just want want want and need to take a chill pill.

Its one of those days where I feel like crying. For what reason I have no idea. Im sure my hormone levels are up today. I get to see little Myriah next Tuesday on another U/S. I am happy about that. My husband has been great. He has been to every appointment except one so why do I always feel as though he is not excited as I am. Is it because its his third? Am I paranoid? I know he wanted a baby with me worse than I even knew I wanted a baby. Men are so hard to read.

Well anyways Im looking forward to the holidays this year, with the baby coming and all. I wouldnt even care if she came on Christmas! What a gift that would be.
Im actually a little scared of labor and Im sure I will get more scared as time goes on. Im not afraid of the pain..no really Im not. Im not sure what I am scared of. Maybe the fact that Im bringing this life into the world and my life will never be the same. That scares the living sh*t out of me. Its always just been me and well now me and my husband and his kids.

Will I love her at first sight? I know I love her now. Will she get on my nerves? Will I know what to do? Oh lord I might have a panic attack today.
Im crying right now. Its so overwhelming. I couldnt even tell you why Im crying. I think the perfectionist in me is just afraid of letting go. I mean this is a brand new life. All mine. wow.

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Posts: 37

I am now 27wks5days pregnant. I had a 3d/4d us last Saturday. John and mom came. I think they really found it to be amazing. Well you are amazing. I have your website up now. Everyone has been posting comments in there.

Im now so anxious for your arrival. The love that I feel for you is unbelievable. How can you love something so much that you have never even met? I love your perfect little hands and fingers and feet that kick me constantly. I love your hiccups. I love my rib pain, even if its hurts.

I cant wait till you get here. My mom bought you a stroller, a swing, and a rocker for me to rock you in. I cant believe how excited she is for you to get here. She is as bad as me!

The stress of the custody battle is weighing on me. (the one with your dad and for your sister and brother) I try not to stress, its hard. But I just pray that God keep you safe and I know he will. I love you so much. There is not a word to describe this kind of love. None.

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Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37
30 wks today

I should be happy, only 10 more weeks to go. And well yes I am happy that soon I will see my daughter. I am happy and anxious and well depressed too.

I feel like my marriage is falling apart. I feel like what I thought to be the case the entire time is not what it was. I know this journal should be about the baby and well it is, but these are emotions I think I feel because I am pregnant or because I am having a baby with this man. I love him. I would do anything for my husband but I guess I had this fantasy of what life would be like pregnant or more so, how he would be.

I am selfish. I know I am but I am also human. I don't know why I have these feelings. I just know I have them. He is on his way back up to MD again per the attys advice. She said he shouldnt be away from his kids too long so it wont look bad in court. I understand that, even though its hard for me when he leaves, I do understand. What I dont understand is these feelings I have. Feelings that our marriage will eventually not work.

I know when I was younger that I always wanted a man who made me his #1. I would be the one reason he wanted to wake up and breathe and the meaning for his life. (I know sounds like alot) but I felt I would do this for him in return. He made me feel like that at first. I was his everything. I was his princess. I was well, his reason. (as that one song says) Its not that way anymore. I thought that when I got pregnant, he would be even more so. I sometimes feel as though he wanted me to get pregnant to have ties to me forever. So I couldnt leave. So he wouldnt feel insecure anymore. Instead Im the one left feeling insecure. Im the one feeling like my love is on the backburner as well as this child. Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like Im competing with his other 2 children? Am I sick? Do I need counseling? He loves them. I should understand that. I love them too but not like him. I just feel like a terrible person for feeling the way I do.

I hurt and I feel as though I shouldnt hurt. Sometimes I feel as though I will always be competing and so will Myriah so why do this to myself? He says he is hurt and upset that I said I would never move back to Baltimore. He says he would do anything for me. He says that I wouldnt for him. I want to pray for something but don't know how to pray for what I want. Or what to pray for. I cried alot yesterday because he was leaving. I cry now because he is gone and because when he talks to me, he wants to tell me how he feels and how I have not been there for him. Why does he wait until he is gone to discuss these things then gets mad at me for getting upset that he wants to discuss them?

I feel like I have made this baby all by myself and that everything about her is me. I feel like he only pretends to act interested in her. I feel like she will always be second rate to his other children. I feel so hurt, because I never wanted a baby but decided to want/have one because I thought thats what I wanted. And I DO want her so I dont want anyone thinking otherwise. I do want her and I dont regret her and she was planned and wasnt a mistake. Its just hard sometimes to know what life will be like and its been hard being pregnant with these emotions. Its like he wants me to understand his feelings but he doesnt understand mine nor what its like to be pregnant.

I mean Im so ridiculous. I order a pizza, it just came and I cry because, well I am eating alone again. I felt alone for so long. I dont want my little girl to feel all these sad emotions I have. I have to sleep alone at night. I know I could have it worse. I could be knocked up by some man who didnt want me or I wasnt with, but for some reason it feels worse than before when other men didnt want me or cheated on me. It feels as though he chooses other things before me. I mean he cant even tell me when he is coming back. I have been crying over men for so long. I don't want to do it anymore. I think I would rather be alone. I hurt less.

I get so depressed, I don't feel like doing anything. Taking a shower, cleaning, working...all seems to hard when you are this sad. It doesnt seem important. I dont want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Its easier. I know it will go away eventually, right? It has to be hormones or just me being pregnant. So I wait for a better day.

Thank God I still have her. I love you baby Myriah.

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Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37
Today Im 31wks2days

Im much happier than the other day. I sure do have some ups and downs since being pregnant. I also have awesome news. I quit smoking!! 1 week tomorrow! I can't believe I did it. Its still hard. Today was a hard day but not like I thought it would be and now I can say I am doing this for my little girl. Im so sorry mommy was so selfish for 7mths but sometimes it just takes a wakeup call.

Anyways my little one is still kicking like crazy. She constantly has her foot or butt up in my right rib causing really terrible pain. I spend most of my day laying on the couch reclined so it doesnt hurt.

Im getting quite impatient lately with this pregnancy thing. Im ready to have a baby but realize I still have much more time when I think that even my shower isnt until Thanksgiving week. I hope it goes fast. I really want her to be here. I really want to hold her. Even daddy said he wouldnt mind having a November baby. That would be cool...maybe the last week of November.

Butt.....its my first and I doubt that she will wanna come out that early so in the meantime my pain continues and Im only getting bigger!

I love you Myriah!! cant wait till you get here!

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Today Im 31wks5days..and I had another growth scan and you are big big big. They are saying you are over 4 1/2 lbs. OH MY LORD! Could you be due earlier than thought? maybe, hey it wouldnt hurt my feelings at all because right now you are killing my ribs babydoll!

Anyways, Im pretty excited to talk to the doc next week and ask him about your huge growth spurt. I knew you were getting big becuz Ive been in alot of pain lately.

Im going to Bmore this weekend. Dh's cousin was shot/killed. Very terrible and well we are going to pay respects. I hate that for him and his family. He helped us moved down here. Very nice guy with a great heart. Its a shame!

Im hoping the doc will give me the "okay" to travel for my babyshower which is the week of Thanksgiving. ...otherwise I will not be prepared at all for your coming! I dont have the basics, like carseat, diapers, wipes, etc etc

UGH how scary. Me and Ron both had dreams last night that I went into labor...even scarier. I mean I am ready but not THAT ready! lol

oh well love you baby Myriah!

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Belly pics

I either just conceived or was getting ready to around this picture: Mar312006 Rons bday:

The night before I found out I was pregnant, I was about 8wks here:

13 wks:

20wks:

31wks:

and my OTHER baby, our anniversary!

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Im 32wks today. And having a bad day.Once again me and DH are fighting/arguing over stupid stuff thats really not that stupid. We are supposed to leave today to go to Bmore for his cousins funeral. I dont understand how us going up there for a funeral turns into us being up there for a freakin week! If we stay up there until Friday, I miss my doctors appt which I really need to be going to.

Who cares once again. Who cares about me and this baby...but me. And if I say anything, I MEAN ANYTHING...then I dont care about how much his children mean to him. Its total and utter bullshit. We dont have anyplace to stay but his mothers(which I do not want to at all) or Shawns and sleep on an air mattress. Its totally ridiculous. Why did we even move? He is up there every other week spending money to travel to get up there right around the holidays and when this baby is born. What has the FN attorney even done? We are no further along than 2 months ago. Still following the same FN visitation and still NO HEARING. I mean for Christs sake.....why am I going through this endless cycle of torture????????? Why, why why??

I need to know whether I can travel Thanksgiving week to go to my babyshower since I will be 35 wks along. I already have been feeling totally miserable between the nausea, the rib pain, and the back pain. I dont know what Im gonna do. I need to get in to see my doc and he's only in one day a week. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I feel like smoking 5 packs of cigarettes. I just dont understand.

I mean that woman sits there and knows that she is screwing crap up and he justs keeps letting her or walking into her traps. He wants the kids for 2 weeks and she just wants to be a bitch so she will make sure he doesnt have them. He wants to switch this weekend coming up for the following weekend so we can get back down here on tues or wed but I know that c*nt will make sure that if "thats what he wants" he WON'T get it. And so we just continue to fall into her little controlling plan because he won't open his eyes and see that she will never give him what he wants, he is NOT keeping any peace by being nice, and when it comes to him-she will always make sure he has it the hardest way possible. OPEN YOUR EYES BABY! for heavens sake. I feel like Im talking to a brick wall. I feel like Im talking to an idiot sometimes. I mean I know you love your kids. Iknow he does, but when is enough enough.....when will you let her dig her own hole and lay in it. You are so scared, living by fear everyday that she will get the upperhand on you. Its crazy to live that way. Ive had enough I swear.

Sometimes I just wanna say F THIS and raise this child by myself. Im tired of feeling this angry and this hurt. Im tired of crying and feeling like my feelings are invalid and unjust and SELFISH.
There is a reason Im having these feelings, they dont just appear out of nowhere and they are VALID. I mean I know marriage is something where you stand by someone. I understand that but its like watching someone make the same mistakes over and over. Its like that saying says: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results" There are no different results...NONE...we are still having to live by this bitches rules and regulations. And YOU are still living in fear of what she will do to you. And thats the part I cant accept. Thats the part that makes me wanna give up because you wont WAKE UP.

God, Im scared one day of Myriah reading this and thinking, damn my mother was so messed up while pregnant. Or boy did she have some mood swings. These are real legitmate feelings and I dont know where else to air them.

I love you baby girl, Im sorry Im so mad/sad.

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Today I am 32w5days. Having a good day! Just got back from MD late last night. My feet were swollen something terrible.

Went to doc appt today and he said I could travel to my babyshower in KY during Thanksgiving but to stop every 2hrs and drink lots and lots of water to ward off the edema. He also said they will induce me a week before my duedate if I haven't went into labor by then. GREAT news since the student tried to tell me they wont do that until a week after my duedate. I said thats not what I was told. So we know that my little pea will be here at least by the 23rd of Dec or sooner.

They said if I keep these headaches they wanna do a 24hrurine scan to make sure I dont have preeclampsia. The headaches have disappeared the last 24hrs so maybe I just needed more water.

I know lately I cant eat for anything. My stomach is so far up in my ribs that I anything I eat hurts or causes nausea. I also have god awful heartburn and acid reflux.

ps: I weigh 160, the most I have ever weighed in my life....UGH...I feel so fat.

She is 5lbs of that..lol lol like thats alot. Im so silly.

She keeps moving and sticking elbows and knees in my sides. Its neat to watch her, because she is so active. You see my belly morph into all kinds of shapes..really cool.

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Posts: 37

33wks3days......TODAY!

Well from headaches, to heartburn, to swelling...I got it all.....I am so ready for you to come on out and meet your mommy!!!! (or at least drop so i can breath)

Tomorrow we go to get a crib for you! We are so broke right now so Nani is going to buy it for us. I am so appreciative! She just doesnt realize. We moved Austen's crib into his sisters room since we are still in the midst of the custody battle...I mean why have 2 empty rooms when we could put "you" in one of them?

Anyways....Im too excited to decorate letters and nursery and well..everything for you. My shower is in less than 2 weeks. Im hoping to get everything I need. I need ALOT of stuff...mostly a carseat and things.....we really could use alot since we don't have alot of money. We shall see...

Oh my goodness, I cant wait till she gets here....luv you baby Myriah!!!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

Well today I am 35wks1day pregnant and so so soooooo anxious to meet my little girl! Everything has been great lately. I can't lie! Ron and I have been getting along (except for my occasional hormones) and we had a great holiday. I miss his kids and I know he does too but hopefully God will have his way and he will get to see them soon.

He agreed to stay home until baby gets here which is awesome and definitely keeps the stress off of me since I have been freaking out about him not being here when Myriah is born.

Tonight we started to put up Christmas decorations. I got the tree up and thats it, no ornaments on it yet.

I've been cramping alot lately and having braxton hicks as well as some other prelabor things. Im so ready to see my little girl. I am so excited to have her here in my arms. This is the most anticipated thing I have ever felt in my entire life! I dont know if there are words to explain it.

Anyways I plan on walking and staying as busy as possible the next few days, weeks. Whatever it takes to see her sooner! My next doc appt is on Thursday and I am hoping to hear some positive news. I know that I have another ultrasound which will be cool! I bet she looks so chubby by now. Probably 7lbs or more. I feel like she is HUGE!

I had a great babyshower and got lots of gifts. Ron and I have been getting the room ready and I finally am feeling prepared for your arrival!

Almost December....I think that Daddy is betting on Dec 8th-16th. John has the 17th and after. Mom was saying the 17th but now the 5th of December. Aunt Mary says the 8th.

I just want to see you before they induce. That would be much much better! We shall see!

I cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

35 weeks and 5 days and done done done!!!! I had my appt today and am not happy. I just wanted some kind of end in sight and he would not say. He only says I will have a nice tax deduction. I feel like crying.

She weighs 6lbs10ozs already and by feel he says she is a good 7lbs. She also is totally engaged--meaning her head is completely down in the pelvis. Which probably explains the cramping I have had. They said Im measuring at 37weeks which would make her full term NOW!

So Im just curious, can she come out now and play. Im so over this "pregnant" phase. I have never in my life had to wait this long for anything. Im just so tired of feeling tired and being huge and my feet hurting and etc etc etc!!!!

I want this to be over and I want to hold my little girl. I cry thinking I will have to go all the way to Christmas. I pray that the Lord have some kind of mercy on me. I already am convinced Im having a 8lb baby! I dont want a 10ber...that would be hell on my small frame.

Well gotta go eat dinner.....and walk walk walk...this baby right outta me! Hopefully. ELV ELV

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

I am now 36wk2days pregnant well 3days cuz its midnight. Alot has changed in the last 2 days. First to start off, on Sat, mom came over to remove this skintag and well she checked me and I was 1cm dilated and 20% effaced or thinned out. Well when she removed the glove, I was totally bleeding. I knew she didnt do it, I didnt feel pain and it was too much. So went to L&D to have them check me and they agreed I was 1cm and 25%effaced. Well they released me but later that day I returned due to clots and more blood. I was freaking out. I wanted a for sure answer on what was happening. By then I was 35% thinned out and 2cm already dilated.

Since then I have been having regular contractions, not painful though, bloody show and mucus constantly. Everytime I wipe , this is so gross, but this mucousy bloody sticky crap comes out. I keep thinking they are boogers..lol but it must be my cervix thinning out more.

I was checked again and 3cm dilated. I am now still having contractions not painful, some backpain/menstrual cramps, some I cant walk through but not bad enough to think they are doing any progress.

I really keep hoping my water will break. Wishful thinking....anyways....heres to ELV to myself. I would love to have this baby for so many reasons but also because between the pain, the diarrhea..ugh, hemerroids....everything..it sucks!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

Well I have officially made it to 37wks tomorrow! and I am DONE DONE DONE!!! I really feel terrible about wishing this pregnancy over but walking around with your stomach constantly as hard as a rock, is not fun. I have had contractions now for 5 days off and on. I was admitted into the hospital because they said I was in labor only to find that the contractions arent progressing me enough or changing my cervix....so guess what SENT HOME!

I can hardly walk now, My leg is in such pain. I know I know..complaining but I am so ready to have this baby.

I get to go to a new doc on Tuesday, Dr Serrano and now Ive changed hospitals which I am glad about because they were not treating me right at the old one and delivering my baby girl in a nice place like University will make me oh so happy!! Lol

Well I hope I go into labor soon because I think of nothing else but this baby 24/7!! Heres to elv elv elv.....lol Its almost like they say about love" when you least expect it, it will happen."

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

:? :? :? Well here I am at 37weeks3days prego and no baby as of yet. She really has decided to stay in and well thats fine but its not working for my Crohns disease.

I got a new doc and a new hospital today. Dr Serrano and well shes okay. Im more estatic about delivering at University since my other hospital SUCKED bigtime. She did say that if my Crohns keeps us she will induce me at 39wks, well thats the 23rd of Dec and I doubt she will do that on a Saturday but my next appointment is Tuesday so Im just going to go ahead and setup and induction date whether it be the 26th or what. I dont want to have this baby on Alexis (DSD) bday which is the 29th and I really want my December baby but MORE SO...Ive been vomiting and having diarrhea like crazy. I feel as though I have the flu and could sleep away every hour of the day. Food doesnt even sound good.

I dont look to go into labor before that week. I was in pre-labor but the pain, discharge, blood, and contractions have ceased to change me. I went today and no change in my cervix whatsoever. I either pray my water breaks or just pray that the next few weeks go by fast because I am absolutely miserable.

My mother pointed out that "Mary" the mother of Jesus was pregnant during this time of year and didnt I find that kinda neat. It is cool to think about but truthfully I just want to be done. I am grateful everyday that God gave me this wonderful opportunity to feel a child, a baby inside of me. There is no feeling like it in the entire world! Blum 3 I am truly blessed beyond what many get to experience. I now am ready to experience looking my child in the eyes for the first time. I am ready to hold her, love her, smell her.....take care of her.

I never wanted to be a mother, but now that I have shared 9mths with this tiny being...I truly know what "true love" is and I thank God for that. I thank God for my husband who gave me this gift.

Now....can we have this baby already? Lol

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37
MY vent for today!!

Im 38wks2days pregnant and well I need someone or something to vent to! Here is my list of vents for why I need to have this baby now and why I am going to lose it if I don't.

1. Im in constant pain either from contractions or from my Crohns which has come back to show its ugly face in these last few weeks.
2. Im constantly nausated or wanna throw up. I can't eat anymore and enjoy it because the contractions squeeze the crap out of my stomach and make me sick.
3. I have to take Phenergan to feel somewhat okay and that makes me wanna sleep my days away!
4. I snore so bad I cant sleep with my husband anymore so I sleep on the couch and it hurts. Not to mention I snore to where I wake myself up and I cannot breathe. I have night sweats where my hair is almost soaking wet.
5. It hurts to pee or go #2 because of the squeezing, the pressure, and the hemerroids.
6. Its painful to go from lying down to sitting up, bending down, walking etc
7. The babys head is constantly on my sciatic nerve which makes me walk funny and have this lightening sharp pain go down both of my legs.
8. I feel guilty, depressed, anxious, and bad for the emotions Ive had lately. I feel as if I don't care that Im pregnant anymore, that I wish I wasnt pregnant. I sometimes wonder if I want this baby and I hate these feelings. I know its because I just want her to come out, I am so absolutely miserable. I could cry and do cry at the drop of a hat. Please God have mercy on me.
9. I don't feel the bonding with her that I felt at 34 and 35 weeks and I know its because I just want her out of me.
10. I want to be to sleep more than an hour at a time. I wish I could take medicine and sleep away the rest of this pregnancy.

There are my vents! Im sure there are more but these are it for now. Maybe next time I write I will have things to be thankful for.

I still love my baby girl...just needed to get these out.

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

Myriah's Birth Story: The Greatest Gift I have ever been given! (It still brings tears to my eyes) beware, its long

I am so blessed beyond belief..here is what happened. On Thursday afternoon I started having strong contractions and more bloody show,hence L&D. I changed from 1cm to 2cm within 30mins. I was admitted. I was told if contractions weaned/waned, would start pitocin in morning. (was told weeks ago I was 3cm..go figure...different fingers, differnence of opinion.) They gave me demerol twice during night and knocked out my contractions almost completely...if you ask me on PURPOSE. Come to find out, surgery is closed for the holiday on Friday and they won't induce anyone for fear of Csection....I was discharged. Nurse that comes into let me go, checks me and cant believe they are letting me go because of being significantly effaced, dilated and on my chart, they put bag of water was bulging on Thursday. Went home depressed and decided baby will come out on her induction date of Wednesday..no Christmas present here.

Skip to Sat night...was up till 3am watching movies, went to bed was snoring, DH kicks me out of room..(haha, J/K) Went to extra bed where I have this really hard braxton hicks that I cant even move with. I was falling asleep and then I barely hear this pop and I peed. I get up mad and go to the b-room to finish peeing and wipe out some nasty gooky stuff...go to stand up and water starts coming out. Im like..."I must be crazy and keep smelling it. Finally wake up DH and he thinks Im crazy too. I wipe completely dry and stand up but feel nothing. Decide to go back to bed except I havent felt baby move and get scared. Try to move her and no response. DH decides to take me to hospital...he seems irritated. So I feel nothing the entire trip to the hospital and think..the people at L&D are going to be pissed at "me the crazy girl"

We get there and get out and within seconds, I said, "Its my water" and DH says how do you know? I say cuz Im peeing and well it wont stop and we start laughing as we are walking in because its steadily soaking my pants and I like an idiot brought no towel.

So....they check and yes indeed my water broke..no doubts there. They admit me, hook me up..Im 3cm. Start pitocing to speed things up and ask if I want an epi. Im like so soon? Im not in pain...they said "you will be and fast" Im so GLAD that the nurse talked me into getting it then. Guy comes in to give it to me and says you have scoliosis..and its gonna take him a minute. By the time he starts the contractions are already killing me. He gets it in, and Im told to rest. Time flew real fast.....all I know is at noon or 1230 I said I felt pressure.....now you have to realize the last time I was checked I was 3cm...they check and I AM 9 CM ALREADY!!! They set up, came in ( I felt like I was in a dream, at how fast it all happened) and I was told to take a deep breath and push with a contraction. I told them, it felt like she was gonna pop out (no pain ladies, just pressure) and they said ..no she is fine but with the 2nd push, everyone in the room went "OH MY, HERE SHE IS"....lmao....HOW THE hell did that happen so fast and so easy? I immediately cried upon seeing here. Having a child is like nothing I have ever experienced. I am still in awe of my body, her, and how God created something so perfect.

Sorry this is long but I wanted to save this to always remember how blessed I was to not be in pain, and to experience such an easy labor. Im truly blessed. (downside: ripped 2 degrees, have the worst hemerroids the docs had seen in a long time, and the after labor part has been more painful then labor itself) recovery is tough!

Here's to everyone: hope you had a great Christmas and have a beautiful New Year!!!!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37
sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

WEll my little one is now almost 3wks old....I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. She is absolutely gorgeous and so good. She never cries just gets fussy every now and then. Im so very blessed!!! I love her more than life itself!

I did get very ill after delivery. I had blood pressure so high I was at seizure stage. I was on lasics for swelling. I gained weight instead of losing. I slept almost the first week away in a coma of pain pills. But now I am finally feeling better. Still waiting on some test results but otherwise feeling much much better.

Now emotionally......I am a basketcase. I just wanna be alone with me and my daughter. I feel like me and DH are so disconnected. He brought down the kids with his mother and I have been losing it since finding out they were coming. And now they are leaving tomorrow and my sister is coming in with my neice. Its back to back company and I really just wanna get my life back.

oops will write later....Mcdreamy is on!!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37

I can't believe this!! I had to post again! My little peanut is now 5mthsold! Its sad how time flies but amazing all in the same!

Myriah Serena is now laughing, rolling over, and sitting up supported all by herself!!! She is such a happy, good baby. And I am so truly blessed.

If any other mothers read this, just know if this is your first time...it IS all worth it. They are all worth it. Biggrin

I love my baby girl!

sydnee11's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 37
Myriah Serena is 6 1/2 mths old

and getting soooo big. She started daycare this week and its been so damn hard..I wont lie. I think its been harder on me, but I had to get back to work and build my baby's future!!
Anyways....she now weighs over 17lbs and is crawling. She is over 27 1/2 inches long. She pulls up on her crib and stands, eats food but no teeth yet!!!

She is down to one nursing a day and the rest of the time are bottles.

She is my world! my life, my everything....and is such a good baby never cries unless tired. I think nursing and meeting a baby's needs early on helps them be better babies later.

Well gotta go....work to do! Biggrin