MY very first peapod!!
Well this is my first entry...better late than never. I wanted to start a journal like 2 mths ago and didn't. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and the nausea has subsided.
I now have back pain and aching muscles in front, I guess the uterus is stretching. You can't really tell I am pregnant but I can, because I am used to looking at my body. My husband can tell a little too.
I'm so anxious, I really really want to know the sex, so I can start shopping for clothes and baby things. I never wanted children years ago but we planned this pregnancy and I am so elated.
Due to my Crohns disease, I didn't know how hard it would be for me to get pregnant, and as we found out, it wasn't that hard. I can't wait till I can feel the baby kick or move or something. I almost broke down when I saw the first ultrasound with the flickering heart. It's crazy to have another being growing in you. It's one of God's awesome wonders. Well until next time, God bless my little one and may he/she be healthy and safe!!
Well its been a couple days since my last post and I am now 13 weeks pregnant today. I am so anxious to find out the sex. I still am not showing or don't think I am. I even think I've lost some weight.
My breast hurt still though, pretty dang bad. Nausea has subsided and now I have occasional bad headaches. My face has also began breaking out! UGH!! I just got over having a year and 1/2 of acne but I can't take anything for it while pregnant.
I'm getting so excited to do the 3d/4d ultrasound. I think it is so awesome how the pictures look and the video. Ron and I have been looking at the pricing and such.
We also are considering moving by the end of July so I will have to find a new OB/GYN. I'm not really nervous about that just more excited.
Also the baby's next appt is Tuesday the 27th. I can't wait to hear my little bean's heartbeat again! I get so worried sometimes that he/she is okay!
Well its Sunday and I am 13w2d pregnant. People mentioned today that I was starting to show a little.
Ron wishes I was having twins, I keep telling him I would have been showing earlier, plus on our last visit to the OB, there was only 1 heartbeat. I just know he is hoping for a girl but the fact that it is our first child together, I think he really doesnt care. I know I truly don't. I just want a healthy baby.
I feel guilty alot, especially today. I have yet to quit smoking. I know its terrible and I know its unfair to an innocent child so why does my physical craving outweigh the bigger reasons. I pray and will continue to pray for strength not to smoke.
I go Tues for my next appt. I am really wondering how much weight I have gained since I have been eating whatever I want. I have always watched my weight and this is the first time in my life I have enjoyed food.
My crohn's disease seems to have went into remission. I would like to think so anyway. Some mornings I still have pain from it, but it is gone quickly.
Ron is anxious to move, Iknow I am. I really want to have my baby in one of the states where my parents live. It doesnt matter which one, just so long as I have loving caring supportive people around me.
Its so awesome being pregnant. Some days you feel on top of the world and others you feel like crap. But all in all, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I feel so blessed. I have a miracle inside of me that God created for this specific season and reason. Thank you Jesus!
Its 8:50 on a Monday night, the night before my next appt. I get so nervous, because its still early in my pregnancy I want to make sure everything is okay and all. I worry so much about the baby. I can't wait till I can feel he/she move!! It will really be a relief on my part to know the baby is still there kicking or squirming about.
I picked up a bunch of pregnancy books today from the library. I love to read so I already started one of them. I just want to make sure I am a good mom. Friends came by today to see how big my belly has gotten, they said they can tell. I can't really, well maybe just a little. BTW, I am 13w still.
Well gotta go read some more. I will praying hard tonight for my peapod. My dad says he has been praying, so I just know God will take care of me and the baby! Thank you Jesus.
Well I went to the doctor on Tues and she says I am 13w4days when I thought I was 13wks3days..oh well I think Im right according to a Dec30th duedate. Anyways today I am 13wks4days! Almost into my 2nd trimester. My miscarriage rate has went down according to my OB.
I have been trying to quit smoking. I only had 6 cigs today and tomorrow I plan on not smoking any. I heard a healthy strong heartbeat between 160 and 167 and I would blame myself if my child was not healthy or had anything wrong with him/her. I was so relieved to hear the baby's heartbeat. It gets so scary to not be able to feel the baby or see that I am getting bigger and know that everything is okay.
I started out at 132 lbs. I gained 1 lb. on my last appt and the one yesterday I have gained 2lbs. Now I am freaking out because I feel like 3 lbs with no belly to really see is too much weight. I know I haven't been eating right. I eat sweets alot more now, I crave chocolate like crazy though! I will try to eat better in this trimester so I gain the right amount of weight and don't get too fat. I have always been thin but not like a stick. I get scared that I will gain baby weight and not be able to get it off like so many women.
Having a baby is so exciting but brings with it sooo many anxieties. I bought 2 baby books yesterday or should I say Ron bought them for me. He would do anything I ask. He is such a sweetheart and I am so very lucky. He will be a great dad, he already is to his own children.
Well have to go for now until next time. Thank you Lord for a healthy baby and I pray for strength to quit smoking completely (for good) and think of my unborn child.
Today is not a good day. I am very sad. Ron and I have fought almost everyday it seems like, since I got pregnant. I feel like I have no one. Even my stepdad who I was close to takes his side now. Ron calls to talk to him and now they have bonded and I have noone to talk to. I call Whit and she just wants me to come home which I would if I didnt care about being married or pregnant.
I feel like I have cried for 3 days straight and no one gives a damn. I'm so lonely in this city. I have no friends or family. I don't even want to be pregnant today. I just want to curl up by myself and be left alone. I feel like I'm supposed to be understanding to everyone else and be polite and kiss *ss but when it comes to me nobody understands. They only think I'm this rude, pregnant witch. I'm so fed up living here and dealing with this day and night. Knowing I could leave if I really wanted to, just up and just leave and quit crying everyday. I wonder if the baby feels the overwhelming sadness I do. If so, I feel terrible for that. I need a break from this sadness,from this depression.
I wish today was over. Here's till tomorrow....
Today I am 14w5days. I haven't wrote for like a week almost, been arguing with Ron and just trying to get prepared to move hopefully sometime soon. I am feeling better. Have cut down to 3 cigs or less a day and I feel so much better than I used to. Its getting easier and easier and I am not such a psycho path. Ron is being nicer and more understanding, thank God. I do have exciting news. I find out the sex of my peapod on July 16, hopefully the little one will cooperate. I have been reading lots of books lately to help prepare me for birth and taking care of my own little newborn. I get scared because I realize that my life will soon be over temporarily as it will revolve around a baby 24/7. I wonder will things ever be the same and will I want them to.
I'm also debating breast-feeding. I have read how good it is for the baby and all the pros, I also know all the cons. I wish I could get a feel for what I want to do. I have always wanted to bottle-feed only and now I don't know.
Today I feel kinda yucky. My stomach is bothering me and I have a headache. I have been sleeping alot. I still haven't got that burst of energy they talk about but that is probably due to the Crohn's disease. Hopefully it will come soon, there is alot to get ready for.
Gotta go! Will write again soon!
I am 15w6d pregnant!!! Almost 16 wks!!!! Anyways been busy trying to prepare to move by either August or September. I can't wait just one more day until I find out the sex (if peapod cooperates)!!!
So my belly is starting to pop out more and a lady asked if I was pregnant the other day, I was so proudly saying yes!! I just cant wait to feel the baby kick and squirm. Sometimes late at night before I go to bed I will feel flutters. He/she must be active at night...I guess that means I won't get much sleep later on or either quit drinking caffeine.
I just want it to be Sunday so I can see the baby on the monitor and make sure everything is okay. A couple of weeks of not hearing the baby and I freak out. I have both names picked out for a girl and a boy. I really am thinking pink but I know God doesnt make mistakes and he will definitely choose the sex or should I say has chosen the sex that he knows is best for our family and for the future. (just hoping/praying) lol I would hate for my child to grow up one day and read this and say, you wanted a girl not a boy, thats not the case. I just think that us as mothers get a general preference for what we think we want.
Well gotta go for now, still working, I love you peapod!!
Okay exciting exciting..been too busy to post but here it is....ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!! Im sooooo happy I could scream. I am now 16w5d and I cant explain how cool it was on Sunday to see my little wee one. She was soo active the tech was laughing. She said, you should be so proud and relieved because she is an active little thing moving all around...yawning, sucking thumb, playing peek a boo, stretching her long long legs. Oh I hope this means shes tall...its so neat to think she is inside of me moving so much and I dont feel her all the time. Its truly amazing.
Well its late like 1230 and Im exhausted from days of endless work...been in the car for 48 hours traveling to Virginia then to NYC then back...this baby has been everywhere and doesnt even know it yet...lol
well I love you my little wee one. I think we might be going with Mariah Siena ..I really like that name! so does Ron!
18w6days....Okay its been awhile since I posted, been so busy getting ready to move out of state. I had my anatomy scan 2 days ago and everything went wonderful. Myriah Siana, as we have decided to call her, is weighing 10oz. already! I might have a big baby who knows.
Also they think I might be due on Dec.27th, 3 days earlier than planned. I might have a Christmas baby, we never know. Im so excited lately. Myriah has been kicking at least everyday and I love feeling her move. Its amazing to think this being is inside of you and only you know she is moving. I want to shout everytime she kicks and tell everyone. Its truly God's miracle.
Ive gotten some new baby stuff. More sleepers, some gifts from Loretta and others. I also bought a bassinet and we found a new place down in GA to move to. Its really nice. I just cant wait to get down there for good and never have to see this place again.
I do have to get rid of the dog and cat but maybe its for the better with a new baby coming and all.
Im almost half way there, I cannot believe how time has flown. I think I will blink and she will be here. This has to be the most exciting thing to ever happen to me. I am not a patient person and well I HAVE to wait with her. Its crazy. But I know that the waiting will be worth it when a healthy baby comes out.
I love you Myriah, will write again soon.