Well I had the level II U/S and it was unbelievable! I don't even know where to begin. Put it this way I cried the whole entire time I was there. First of all it was throughly confusing because as soon as I arrived I was met by a genetic counselor who immediately started talking to me about all these genetic disorders. She did not build any rapport with me or show any humaness what so ever. I was completely innundated! She then sent me into the room for the u/s. From there she came into the room to come and get me and brought me into another room to discuss the findings. I mean this all happen soooo fast, you can imagine my nerves, and I 'm still crying!!
She says that they did not see the marker on the brain that was found the first time, but that doesn't matter, she says, because it was there for my initial u/s. I thought it was good thing but she got me right out of that thought. She then tells me that a there was a slight thikness behind the neck that was discovered during the initial u/s, but she couldn't check that because I was too far along to see that area on u/s. Now mind you I was never told about this "slight" thickness behind the neck from my doctor, but anyway. She then tells me that another marker was found, one that they did not expect to find. OOOhhh great i'm thinking! She says that the head is 1 week smaller than the rest of the body. This she says could be a number of different things. First she goes through all the worse case scenarios, and then she comes up for air and says that it cold be nothing.
It was mixed....whenever she said something bad she then would say that it could be nothing. I was on an emotional roller coaster. I didn't know what to think or do, I was screaming ay my husband, I was a mess. I think I went through every box of tissue that she gave me. So, I then had the opportunity to have an amnio. Because I am so far along I needed to know if anything was wrong with my baby.
I went for the amnio, which was nerve wracking, of course, but not painful. I'm still worrying 1day later if I'm o.k., hoping I don't miscarry. Now I am awaiting the results from FISH, which I am supposed to get tommorrow. I have been praying all day, I've had a constant headache and I chewed off all my nails. I am soooo nervous I can't help but have a million things run through my head. Mind you I am 31 with two healthy boys and no family history on either side of chromosomal abnomalities.
Meanwhile, I have done some research on the net and it is all reassurring, for what seems like my conditions. A lot of sites say those markers are not accurate reads. I hope that these sites are right for me. I pray and beg that Madison is born healthy and normal.
O.k. so I got the results from the FISH and they came back normal. PHEW!!! I am really overjoyed. The only thing that keeps me from being estatic is that Lauren told me (my genetic counselor) that a little of my blood was taken along with the fluid from the my sac and that there is a small percentage of a chance that the results came from my chromosomes and not from Madison's. Can you believe it? But, nonetheless I am happy, because she said that it was most likely from Madison.
Now, I have to wait for the results from the full amnio results. Lauren did tell me that it is unlikely that they will be any differnet from the FISH results...let's hope...and pray.
Also, I need to still take the TORCH test, which is a test that will determine if I have an infection. They are giving me this test because the baby's head is a little small. It is in the 5% range. I am tring to be completely optimistic. The FISH test made me feel good because that was for major chromosomal abnormalities.
Please keep the prayers coming as I will especially to ST. Jude, who is the saint of hopelessness and to Saint Therese.
I will keep you posted. I have a OB appy. next Friday on the 3rd. of Feb. and there I will take the the TORCH and the results will take 10 days and right about that time I should get the results from the amnio.
Some uplifting news
I went to the doctors on Friday and explained to her what has been going on. She was in disbelief, and said that she doesn't understand where they were getting the measurement of the head being small. She asked me if I wanted to do an u/s there and I said ohh yeah. The head is smaller than the abdomin but nothing to be alarmed about because it is still measuring in the normal range. She said Madison was small to begin with. I still took the TORCH test because she said why not, just to cover all my options. I have the level II folow up in 2 weeks and they are just supposed to check the head size too see if it has grown or stayed the same. I still need prayers even though mu OB told me that the odds are my baby is going to be fine. I am still waiting for the amnio results to come back for the 2nd. part. and I need to call on Friday to find the TORCH results. I do feel a lot better after talking with my doctor and doing some research on the net. But, I continue to pray and be mindful of what is actually going on. She said it was all a numbers game that the genetic counselors play. Even if the baby's head were an inch smaller than expected it would plug into this figure which would make it seem like a problem. I am trying to be optimistic so I will wait patiently. Madison we love you and pray for you continously as we await the day we get to see you.
6 mos. already
Hello little Madison!
It is about 11:00 and I am home with your two older brothers. Michael Ryan is plaing Hary Potter in the living room and Nicholas is downstairs with PaPa.
I have been feeling so good about you. I feel lke you are really fine and that everyhing is going to be great. With the prayers that Mommy's been sending to God, Mother Mary, Saint Jude and Saint Therese and Grandma Colleen I know that everythig is going to work out.
I having been feeling you move a lot lately, and that makes me feel all the more better. I am still anxiously awaiting the phone to ring and it be Lauren, the genetic counselor, telling me that the second results from the amnio came back and that everything is normal. That would be the best news ever!!
Today is Tuesday and I have to it until Friay to call the OB and find out the TORCH results. I feel confident that those results will be normal as well. I still pray everyday that that will happen. I am nervous and scared! I really want everything to work out, because I don't know how I would make it if something were wrong. I don't want anyone one of my babies to have to suffer and endure pain and hardship, especially not my newborn baby.
Madison we are all going to be fine. We all love you and are praying for you to be born healthy and normal. Hang in there girl we have a few more months to go!
Feeling a lot better
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Happy belated! I was home with the boys and they were happy. Daddy bought them a matching bear and some candy. It is funny because the bear was soo girly...but whatever.
I am very happy because I recieved the results from the second part of my amnio and the results were normal. I also recieved the TORCH results and those were normal as well. Thank-God!! See the power of pray does work. I am elated!!
I am feeling Madison move a lot more than I ever did. I was worried for a little while, just because of everything that was going on. But now I feel more than confidant that she is perfect. I am 25 weeks this week and I feel great. I am really excited about eveything. We are going to start on the nusery next week, when dh is on vacation.
I realy wish that Nicholas was potty trained. I tried. He goes on the potty every night before he goes in the bath tub. But when I try to put him on during the day it becomes a game. He is cleary not ready. I just wanted him to be all set with diapers before the new baby comes. He stills needs to get settled in a big boy bed in Michael Ryan's room. So many adjustments for my little Nicholas. It will all work out I know, but I want to get a move on things.
Emotional & anxious
Michael Ryan had his birthday on Sunday. It went really well. The kids all had a great time. He then slept over Michael's house that night and we picked him up after I went to Babies R Us to register. I was so exhausted last night. I tried to take advantage of only having one child with me so we tried to do many things...which left me sooo tired.
Today we are going to organize and get ready to paint. We want to get some things done while Mike's on vacation. I'm anxious and I feel overwhelmed. There is soooo much stuff that needs to be done. Lauren and Mikey are slepping over tomorrow night. More work, but I did promise. Well right now I need to go and make luch for the boys. They want ham and cheese sadwiches. I can't wait for nap time!
Today was a good day for me. I had a mani./pedi. and had my eyebrows done. In other words I had some me time. But the odd thing is that I was in a bad mood early on in the evening. So much that I brought myself to cry. Over the stupiest thing ever, of course. Your father was going to see your Vavo in the hospital, and I flipped out because I did not want to be alone. Mommy has been soo tired, and your brothers are soo active I just want some help....all the time. Now I know that that is unrealistic and that is why it is so silly for me to be having these flipping mood swings. But I love you, and I can't wait for the day I get to meet you and see your face and touch your warm skin. On Wenesday I have a drs. appt., I actually look forward to these appts., so I can hear your heartbeat and know that you are doing just fine. Well, right now I need to go and shut off your brother's light and kiss him goodnight.
Bye for now!!!
I had a beautiful dream of Madison the other night. I was holding her and looking at her, sizing her up from head to toe. She was a bit of a baldy bean. She had light skin with beautiful long eye lashes. I remember commenting in my dream that her eyes were light, but I don't remember actually seeing them. I also remember that she was longer, and bigger than I thought. It was amazing!!
Things have been going really well. I love feeling her move inside me, it seemed like last night she was up the whole night. Everytime I got up she would kick me or something to let me know that she too was up. I am 27 weeks this week. I can't wait, one more week to 8 mos.
We are going to paint her room in lavendar and pink. Big stripes. I want lavandar to be the flat color and a shiny pink. White, light curtains and a white borber with a white rocking chair. I have a plan I just need to execute it.
We ordered the bunk beds for the boys. They shoud be in in a few weeks. That is going to interesting putting Nicholas in a big boy bed. Well, I guess one needs to start sometime. We asked Holly and Michael to be the Godparents. It's funny because Holly booked the babyshower like that day. She is really excited, as we are. WellI am hungry, I am going to make a toaster strudel. I love those things, but can only eat them say when I'm pregnant.
Today I had a drs. appt.. Everyting went well. I gained 7 pds., that's right...7 pds.. Next month will be my last of the four week appts. and then I go every other week. I need to go Friday for my glucose screening. I could of had it done today, but I didn't feel comfortable having Nicholas wait a whole hour with me.
I feel energetic and like I don't want to sleep anymore, but just lie down and close my eyes. It's weird because I love to sleep. Nicholas has been getting up at 6:30, and I get up no problem. I like it. It would be great if I could continue with this energy, and the need to not lay in bed until I absolutely have to get up.
The babies hb was at 150. Pretty consistent with what it has been for all my check-ups.
Nicholas is napping so I will take advantage and at least try to see if I can sleep. I already cleaned up th house while he was downstairs with Papa.
So I am going, I am happy and feel great. I'm so glad I am able to enjoy my pregnancy now!
O.k so I have been feeling great as far as pregnancy is concerned. No heartburn,or heavy aches. But my concern is more mental. I feel real aniexty over the health of my baby. Today we were at a b-day party for one of Michael Ryan's friends. I met a women who had a baby in a carriage. She was talking to me about my pregnancy and asking me how old Nicholas was. I told her and then I naturally asked how old her baby was. She told me that her son was born with problems unbenouned to her. He had webbed fingers and an extra digit. She told me she had no idea. This frightens me! I think about my Madison and wonder if she is o.k.. After all the scares I have had with her, I am so worried. Just when I thought I was o.k., I'm not. Lord please help me to be strong, and please help Madison to be healthy. I'm going to search the web for webbing and see if it can be detected before birth.