New, excited, and scared!

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
New, excited, and scared!

I got a bfp today!!!! I had thought af had come, but when it went away I went ahead and tested. I was in total shock. I had already made an infertility appointment with my dr and everything. But here I am. Now I am just scared to death because of the spotting. It seems to come when I am trying to use the bathroom (to go #2) and after DH and I bd'd... so no bd for a little while! I'm so excited, despite being scared. YIPEE!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm waiting right now for my dr's office to call back, I called for one, because I need to change my infertility appointment to a prenatal Smile :) Smile :) and for two, I want to have hcg levels and progesterone levels done to put my mind at ease. They only opened at 9 and I just called around 9:05, but I hope they call back soon! My dr is out of the office until April 4th so I wonder if they'll be able to do it, or if they'll have to ask another dr to give the orders, or anything.

I'm so stoked about all the ladies who are pregnant with me! A lot of the ladies from my ttc board have graduated in the past few days! Whats even greated is the ladies who got bfps with me are the ones I'm closer too! Especially one, who is due the same day as me! She's scared, as she recently had a m/c, but I'm praying hard for her and going with the idea that we were meant to be pregnant together!

Whats also absolutely great is that my IRL friend (Readyforanother) is preggo too! She's due about a month before me Smile We work together and everything, so we can really be there for each other in person... she wants to have a combined baby shower, which sounds great to me! This is so exciting!

C'mon nurse, call me back!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have my first bloood results back, a 68! At the point where I am, a 59 would be "average", which means so far, so good! I go back on Monday to make sure the levels are rising like they should. As long as they are, I get to have an U/S shortly after I reach 6 weeks. YAY!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today I went in for my second set of blood tests, those came back at 178! They more than doubled over the 3 days, and they are supposed to double every 48-76 hours, so I am satisfied! The first lady I talked to said they were still a little low, but rising well, then she put me on hold to go ask the nurse if I should come in for an U/S now or after 6 weeks (the original plan had been once I hit 6 weeks) ... the nurse told her that my numbers were great for how far along I am, and that there is no need for an u/s just yet! I'm so relieved about the numbers, a little disappointed about the u/s though, I wanted one! For now, everything looks good :):):):):)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I can't believe its been a week since I got my bfp! In some ways, I can't believe its been a week already, in others, I can't believe its only been a week! My biggest symtpom has been exhaustion, I can't wake up in the morning, I'm groggy when I do wake up, and spend the whole day thinking about going back to bed. My bbs hurt too, and I have nausea at night and in the early morning. I have dark veines in my bbs now too, that I know weren't there before. DH says I'm moody Wink I'm also hot a lot of the time. I can't wait for April 12th, my first dr's appointment Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I've been freaked out all week with the spotting. It's mostly brown now with a little bit of pink here and there, but for some reason I am more freaked out than before.

I forgot to say before, mostly because I was so sad about it, my friend who was due the same day as me had a m/c last Sunday, shortly after getting our bfps. I'm so sad for her. I really just want her to get her baby soon.

I know I will post to this journal a lot more once I am sure everything is ok!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have had one heck of a day. My Dr was on vacation last week when I got my bloodresults and they decided not to do the U/S just yet. I had some heavier spotting and called the dr this morning at 8:30. Around 9:00 the nurse called me back and told me that my dr wanted me to do an U/S on the day of my appointment with the OB coordinator, which is next Monday. We got that scheduled, and after we hung up I sat there miserable, wondering how I was going to go a week without knowing what was going on. At 9:20 I received another call from the nurse... she hadn't even GOTTEN my message about the heavier spotting! They had a cancellation at 9:40 for an U/S, so I rushed off, only to do the U/S and find that I am just too early, the U/S was inconclusive. So we did another beta. The numbers came back just perfect! Smile So I am relieved, at least for now. I can't wait until Monday, hopefully then I will be far enough along to see something. I am just so thankful right now, I've been praying a lot and I really think God is answering my prayers.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My bbs are going to explode. They are huge, and stretching, and they hurt, and they are going to explode! Smile I must have really bad circulation this time around. It doesn't matter what postion I'm sitting in, my limbs start falling asleep. This happens while sleeping too. My hands swell intermittently, which is normal for me while pregnant. I have heartburn, which is very normal for me while pregnant, and the past year its been normal anytime. I am definately having to go to the bathroom often. My poor little bladder just can't go very long.

Both of my cats had kittens, within 24 hours of each other! The first one had just one, a stillborn :(... The second one had FOUR! When I went to bed there were just 3, but this morning there are 4! Both cats are taking care of and nursing the kittens, I guess its kind of helpful for the one that lost hers. We won't be keeping most of them, but I think I will keep at least one, its a calico and hopefully will be shorthaired. Not too long till monday!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, this update has been a long time coming! Ok, well here it goes...

I had the second U/S after that first one, the gestational sac had grown significantly, but still couldn't see anything in it. I should have been 6 weeks 4 days, but was only measuring 4 weeks 6 days! I was freaking and figured I had a blighted ovum. My dr told me that the U/S looked perfect for a 4 week, 6 day U/S, and just wanted to repeat in 2 weeks. She also had me do hcg's in the mean time. The first hcg levels really weren't too good IMO. They hadn't nearly increased the way (I thought) they should have over a week. Again, I was convinced of only bad news. But then, 2 days later, my HCG levels had doubled nicely! Huh? So, I endured a very long, grueling, 2 week wait for that 3rd U/S. The whole time I couldn't view myself as being pregnant or not pregnant, just in an awful limbo land. I had trouble telling anyone how I felt, so poor Stephanie had to deal with all my mixed up emotions, as well as Rita. The day of the U/S, I was a nervous wreck! Then, though, there was a h/b! 138! The baby had grown and was then 6 weeks 6 days, so in 2 weeks it had grown just the way it should have. I was confused, but so happy, and so relieved.

I'm still spotting. It took a two week break, came back, took a 4 day break, and has been back ever since. It drives me crazy but really as long as the baby is fine I could care less about it. I'm still nervous as heck. I rented a home doppler. I *think* I hear the h/b, but really am not sure! I have to listen through my own h/b, and can't always hear the "baby's" h/b, so I really don't know.

I have another appointment with the ob next week, and I'm hoping she'll be able to point out the h/b to me. If she can't hear it, trust me I will be demanding another u/s! I was thinking of doing that anyhow, but I think if my dr can hear the hb then I will be ok.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I forgot to say I finally told everyone at work Tuesday! So it is no longer a secret! Which gives me more freedom to be on here during the day. Yay! I'm nervous about my appointment on Tuesday. But I still think I'm hearing the h/b on my doppler. I had some trouble hearing it today, but I do think I found it. Whats cool is I noticed now I can feel my uterus when I'm using the doppler! I can feel it get softer when I'm not on my uterus, and harder when I'm on it. I dunno why, but I think its cool.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I lost the baby. Spent 5 hours in the ER tonight. The Dr's are hoping it passes on its own. Sent me home with tylenol 3 and instructions on contacting my dr in the morning, and what reasons I should come back to the ER. I'm heartbroken right now, and am heading to bed. Am starting to feel pretty crampy, so I don't think its going to be long.

Rita, I know you'll read this tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll work up to telling you tomorrow during the day, but right now I just can't imagine making that call. I can type through tears but not talk. ((((HUGS))))