Well, I just found out yesterday that I was pregnant. I am so very happy and excited and also extremely nervous.
I am nervous because I had a miscarriage last June at 7 weeks and I so very much want a baby.
It was so odd finding out yesterday because first, it was Friday the 13th, but I am not really superstitious. Second, because that was when the baby would have been due.
I am just trying to be optimistic, but it is so very hard sometimes.
It is also hard because I am doing everything I can to try to quit smoking, but I keep craving a cigarette. Every time I allow myself one drag (like every 4 hours) I give myself a hard time because I want absolutely nothing to go wrong this time. I am doing really well though considering I've been smoking about a half to one pack of smokes a day for 13 years.
I will be so happy when I reach 3 months but, I will probably be paranoid until then. I don't want to cause stress to the baby though so I will try to keep my thoughts to a minimum.
To my baby, I love you already and I look forward to meeting you on September 20, 2006.
Wow, what a rough day I had today. The morning sickness was worse today than it has been. I have been feeling nauseous for about a week and a half, but today it escalated.
I woke up around 4:00 in the morning with a bad dream and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall back asleep until 1:00 this afternoon. All morning I felt so incredibly sick. However, I didn't actually vomit, it was just nausea.
Then, I only slept until about 3:30. I've been OK since. I don't feel like doing very much, I am really tired and my stomach is still turning, but it has gone back to the bearable feeling.
It's also been hard realizing I am only 4 weeks and I still have 2 more months to go through, hopefully it won't be too bad.
Well, Rob and I had a discussion today on the baby's sex. Even though it is still waaaaaaaay too early to tell, my first instinct is that I am carrying a boy. He disagrees and says it's a girl. Only 248 days to go...
I am so sorry it's taken me so long to write another entry, my original goal was to write at least something everyday. So, now I have to let you know what's been going on this week.
Well, the m/s has pretty much passed, THANK GOD! Hopefully, it doesn't return.
My bbs were incredibly sore last night though.
I had a job interview yesterday, thought it went OK but I'll find out by tomorrow whether or not I got it.
My mother found out on Tuesday that I am pregnant. She found out because the doctor called to give me by OB's appt and she answered the phone. Even though I took the message, she asked me what it was for afterwards. I tried to lie to her, but that is impossible. I ended up having to tell her. She was a little upset as I am not working at the moment, but I know she will come around. She would LOVE to have a grandchild. She has agreed to not tell my dad though until I get a job and am a little further along.
I've decided to call my little one Nooner. I feel so bad calling the baby It so since Rob's last name is Noon and I don't/won't know what the sex will be until Nooner actually comes out, I can't call Nooner by the names we picked.
Oh yeah, Rob and I have picked Hayden John for a boy or Kirsten Kyara for a girl.
I did some online tests yesterday to see what the sex would be. Both said I would have a girl. One said it would be a windy day and after 21 hours of labor, a girl with blue eyes and light hair would come in the afternoon. Only 8 more months to go to see how accurate these tests are. Hopefully the 21 hours of labor is exaggerated. That is one of my fears, going through labor. My mum was in labor for 48 hours with me, her first. Please God, don't do that to me!!
I have been an emotional mess!! Last night I could not stop crying, everything made me cry. I've also been a bundle of nerves. I am so terrified of losing my little Nooner that I have trouble sleeping at night and I could swear that is why my stomach keeps turning.
I am so glad to have Rob as my b/f and as Nooner's father as I don't know what I would do without him!! Even though he calls me crazy because of my emotional rollercoaster, he's been very supportive and I really appreciate that.
Well, I'll go for now. I will try my best to remember to post more often.
I went to the see Dr. K yesterday for my second blood test. She told me that my HCG levels were at 175 last Thurs (Jan. 12) and they are supposed to double every 2 1/2 days so she said she wanted to see at least 1000.
Well, I just called her to find out the results. She came on the phone herself (which kind of worried me since she told me just to ask for the number and I didn't have to talk to her unless they were under 1000) and told me the number was......... 2300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am jumping up and down with excitement!!
Rob is at a job interview right now and I can't wait to tell him.
I, on the other hand, still haven't heard from the job interview that I went on so I'll have to keep trying.
My bbs have been so sore. I think it comes from wearing a bra since they're not too bad during the day when I am sitting at home in my PJ's but it gets worse at night.
Today, my neck is sore.. I think I slept on it the wrong way last night. It hurts to move it. I know this has nothing to do with my pregnancy but I wanted to mention it anyways.
Well, the past 24 hours have been pretty uneventful.
Other than my bbs being tender and sore and my emotions being a mess, it's weird but I don't feel pregnant most of the time. It's almost as if I have to remind myself.
I convinced "grandma" to make me stir fry and Rob salt beef today. I'm somewhat glad my mum found out as now I can just say "Grandma, the baby wants...." and I'll pretty much get what I want (food wise). Of course, my mum usually makes me what I want anyways.
My stomach has been so gurgly the past 2 days. I've also been pretty gassy which is another thing Rob has found to bug me about.
Last night I had 2 very scary, vivid nightmares. In the first one, I dreamed that I started bleeding heavily, I woke up terrified that something went wrong. I even had to go check just to make sure everything was OK.
In the second one, I dreamed that someone was chasing me after blowing up subways. I actually woke up from that one, fell back asleep and it happened again. I was so scared to go back to sleep the second time, but it was still only about 6:30am and I was soooo tired.
Both dreams seemed so real. They had so much detail it was scary. But, at least I am getting more symptoms.
That is what is driving me crazy... I want the symptoms, but when they actually hit, I can't wait for them to go away. I guess I really am crazy.
My bbs still hurt as well but I have gotten my appetite back and am able to eat throughout the day. Let's hope it stays this way... or not.
Another day came and went without me getting a chance to post, but let me explain.
Yesterday, I went for another job interview. It was with an agency that I've used before. They have nothing available right now for full time, but hopefully something will come up soon.
And then, last night, Rob and I got to babysit Kevin and Michaela for the first time. John and Sandra went to the Bon Jovi concert and they asked us to babysit back in November. Kevin is now 6 and Michaela is 3 so it was about time that they asked us.
It was a blast!! Even though Rob didn't do much, I still had so much fun. They are both too sweet for words. Michaela kept putting stickers on Rob's chair and she thought it was sooooo funny. It was so cute. When Sandra was leaving, she told them to listen to us when it was time for bed. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Michaela looked at me and gave me a grin that said "Yeah right!" But, come 8:30, she was so exhausted and went to bed no problems at all.
We played all kinds of games and I was so proud of Kevin. When we were playing Operation, Michaela would take the part out no matter how many times she hit the side. Kevin was the winner in the end, but he let Michaela believe she won which I found to be sweet. Then we played a Lego game. Kevin wanted to use blue cards but Michaela wanted to use red. She was tired and a little cranky by this time so she started crying when she didn't get her way. Again, Kevin proved he was the older one and gave into her.
It was a nice little "practice run." I can't wait to be able to do it 24/7 with my little Nooner.
I still haven't had much nausea. It came a little bit yesterday after taking the bus but it went away really quick and it wasn't that bad. I keep hoping it will come just so I will feel more pregnant. Every day that goes by, I feel it less and less and that is really worrying me. Still no spotting so no real reason to worry, but it's still so very nerve-wracking!!
I may be back later today if anything new comes up.