A New Obsession...
So I figure it's pretty safe to move over here now. I got my BFP on April 28th, 2008 at 10dpo. To be honest it was a shock, I had gotten so used to seeing BFN's, that I didn't know what to do when I saw two lines. I pretty much ran around screaming.
I have my first appointment on thursday, and I'll admit I'm a bit nervous due to my previous ectopic, but I'm feeling like it's gonna be okay.
My EDD is January 9, 2009 by ovulation, and January 11, 2009 by LMP. We don't really have any January babies in our family, but January 19th is my parents anniversary. And considering this is my first, I think that could be quite possible.
Overall I'm feeling pretty good. I've had a bit of cramping/streching of my uterus... and I'm slowly moving into that nausea mode. I was hoping I'd avoid morning sickness, but I have a feeling within the week I'll be puking my guts out. Also have pretty sore boobs, but that doesn't really bother me much.
I'm really excited, but nervous, it doesn't seem real yet. I suppose it'll seem more official once I see the doctor, and tell a few more people. People at work know because of my job type, but I really wanna tell my mother and best friend. However DH wants to wait til we talk with the doctor.
So I had my 1st appointment today. It wasn't really what I had expected. I figured he would at least try to do an ultrasound, nope. He did a pelvic exam and said he couldn't feel anything because it was too early. He then proceeded to talk about progesterone suppositories..... uhhh why? I'm not spotting at all. I could understand if I was spotting or something.
So he ordered some betas, and told me to come back in two weeks and then we'll talk about doing an ultrasound. So basically it felt like a waste of time to me, I know it technically wasn't, it just was so anti-climatic. I felt bad for making DH come, because there was really no need for him to be there. He was like I don't have to come in two weeks do I?
He also said something about four weeks..... it's like ummm... I'm almost six weeks thank you. I hate the LMP assumption. I don't have 30 day cycles, I typically run less. Bah, I'm probaly just crabby.
In good news, no morning sickness yet.
So I'm feeling less crabby. Although I definately haven't been feeling up to snuff. I've been pretty tired, and had some nausea. Also been noticing nothing sounds good until I eat it, and sometimes it doesn't then either.
I got my 1st beta back, and it was 4860. I should get my 2nd back today, if the lab did it right. The outpatient lab was closed, so I had to go upstairs to the inpatient one. You could totally tell they didn't want to deal with me. Then the tech tries to tell me I don't have a script. I'm like uhh... that is one. She's like no it's not. So I said that's what the doctor's office gave me, and the outpatient lab didn't have a problem using it on thursday. It annoyed me because I know it was a script, it looked the same as every other lab sheet I had ever taken to the hospital. From now on, totally not going there, going back to the hospital by my house.
I just had figured it would be easier since I worked there to get it done. However the lady who drew my blood was really nice and did a good job. I'm just worried because I'm pretty sure the tube was green last time, so I'm afraid that they'll end up doing a qualative and not a quantitive, and then I'm gonna throw a fit.
Other than that, still having the stretching/cramping feeling, although it seems to be fading which I hear is normal. Also read that if I don't get morning sickness in the next two weeks, that's its unlikely I will. So I'm hopeful, although maybe I'd feel pregnant then.
So my second beta came back at 8000, woot! So we're looking good, I have my first ultrasound scheduled for tommorow morning. I'm a bit nervous, I don't have good luck with those things.
Also been having a bit of brown spotting that's making me nervous. It's a fairly small amount, but still. It happens once a day, and is usually gone in two wipes. Also today my back is bothering me, but I have a feeling that's from how I slept last night. I'll feel better tommorow after I see a bean in the right place, and hopefully a heartbeat.
I think we've pretty much told everyone with the exception of people at my husband's work, and my brother. As for why I haven't told my brother yet, dunno, just haven't really been sure how to have the conversation. I feel so weird calling him up and going hey I'm pregnant. I guess I'm just weird about the whole telling everyone.... in the beginning I couldn't wait, now I'm more reserved.
Well, the ultrasound didn't go so well. First she tried do an abdominal, but couldn't see the sac well, so we switched to a transvaginal. She didn't have me empty my bladder, I'm not sure how much of a difference that makes, but I'll find out later. She looked around for about three minutes, and then told me what was going on. She said I measured 6 weeks 1 day, and she could see a yolk sac, but no fetal pole. She then asked me if I had beta's done, and I said yes. She said it's possible that I'm just too early, or that this isn't a viable pregnancy. She left to go call my doctor.
I've never been so glad to have my husband with me, because I would of hated to be in there crying by myself. He just held me and kept kissing me. After about 10 minutes the tech came back in with the other tech. That tech told me not to worry, she said she talked with the doctor and he'd like me to come back in a week for another ultrasound. She said it's quite possible that it's too early, and that my uterus is oddly shaped. It's retroverted and tilted to the left, so it's making it hard to visualize the sac.
So basically I'm in limbo land. I don't have any symptoms of miscarriage, no cramping, bleeding or anything. My pregnancy symptoms are about the same. Is it sad I'm wishing for morning sickness now?
DH is being wonderful, he keeps telling me just to wait and see, and telling the little bean to mature, and that we'll try again.
I'm trying to be patient and to relax, but I'm just heartbroken right now. I don't want to deal with all the questions at work, I basically would love to just stay in the house for the next week. Unfortunately I have to work a bit the next 3 days.
So long story short, I hate early ultrasounds.